


Cover Your Eyes

by nervecrash



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 17:46:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 50
Words: 105,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/726082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nervecrash/pseuds/nervecrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles gets kicked out of school and ends up in Westminster Boarding School. He doesn't want to be there at all, but he doesn't really have a choice actually. Though, he meets some interesting people and Louis Tomlinson might be one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Welcome To Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first - and hopefully not last -, so bear with me. Just give me some thoughts, anything..

Rain is pouring down from the sky as a car stops in front of a huge, old school building. It’s been raining all day and it reflects the mood of the boy inside the car perfectly. Sad, grey and clouded. He’s sent to a boarding school, but honestly he really doesn’t want to go. Who in Christ’s name would ever want to go to a boarding school without being forced? You have to wear an uniform, you can’t go home and they are incredibly strict.

He gets out of the car and slams the door shut with a loud bang. Looking up at the building, it kind of scares him. The building is at least five stories high and it’s so intimidating. He feels so small and vulnerable standing there on the porch.

“Get in there, it’s freezing outside,” his mom says, giving him a firm push between his shoulders blades toward the door. He stumbles over his feet, falling against the door and pushing it open because of the sudden weight against it. A couple of guys that seemed to be last years are laughing at him. His face turns a dark shade of red as he averts his eyes from the guys and walks after his mother.

He barely pays any attention when he sits with his mother in the office of the headmaster. He studies his nails, trying to listen, but failing miserably. His mom gives him a poke in the ribs or a death glare from time to time, but he simply ignores it. He doesn’t want to be here, so he is really not going to be cooperative.

When they are finally able to leave the headmaster’s office he gives his mom a quick kiss on her cheek, promises her to study hard and don’t do anything wrong, even though he already knows that he won’t be able to keep his promises. After he said goodbye, he drags his suitcases up to stairs towards his room on the second floor.

He looks at the sheet of paper in his hand that the headmaster has given him. He sleeps in room number 154 and his roommate is Liam Payne. He has no idea what kind of guy Liam is, but he really hopes that they will at least get a long a bit. He hopes that the guy isn’t noisy and thinks he knows it all better.

When he arrives at the second floor he heads for the corridor that says “D-Corridor Guys 4th”. The corridor is long, full of wood and has on each side ten rooms for maximum two persons to sleep in. His room is somewhere near the end of the corridor and on the left side. There’s a name tag pinned on the wooden door that says his and his roommate’s name.

He softly knocks on the door. The door slightly cracks open and reveals a boy who’s a little bit taller than him. The guy’s hair is a bit curly, but not as curly as his. It’s salt and pepper coloured. The eyes that are looking at him are chocolate brown, friendly, but a bit confused. “Yeah?”

“I’m Harry,” is all Harry says. He doesn’t know yet if he likes the boy or not. They boy’s eyes light up in understanding. He smiles and opens the door a bit wider.

“Right, the new kid. I’m Liam.” Obviously, Harry thinks, but he doesn’t say anything. Liam steps aside so Harry is able to enter the room. The room isn’t very big. There are two beds, each on an opposite wall, with a closet on the foot end and a nightstand next to the bed. Two desks are shoved against each other, touching on the line that cuts the room in two. The sink is on the opposite wall of the bed.

It’s obvious that there is only one person living the room at the moment. One side is clean and clearly not used. On the other side of the room are several photo’s pinned to the wall. There is an alarm clock present on the nightstand and things like papers, textbooks and pens are all over the desk. Also, a toothbrush, toothpaste and other toiletries are lying across the sink.

“Um, I’m doing homework, but you don’t have any, obviously,” Liam says pointing at his open textbooks. Harry looks at it for a second, not really interested. He nods his head and takes a seat on his bed.

“I think I’m just going to unpack my stuff,” he says, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. Actually, he’s really not in the mood to unpack. That makes it so official, that he’s staying here. He doesn’t want to stay here at all.

“But you know, I can finish it in the library, if you want to be alone to unpack or anything,” Liam says. He seems a little nervous. Harry doesn’t understand why. It’s not like he’s going to bite him or anything.

“You really don’t have to–”

“It’s okay, I have to be there anyway,” he says while grabbing his books and heading for the door within a few seconds. Harry is surprised by the speed he got out of the room. He shakes his head. He is not going to think about the guy anymore. He’s got some alone time and that is all he really wants right now.

He strips down all his clothes, folding them neatly and laying them down on top of his unopened suitcase at the end of his bed. He then crawls in bed and pulls the covers over his head, so that no light is able to touch his eyes anymore. But sleep doesn’t take over. An hour or two later he hears the door opening again and knows that Liam is back from the library. Liam softly calls his name, but Harry stays quiet.

“He must be asleep already,” Liam mumbles to himself. He starts to softly hum a song that is unfamiliar to Harry, while he cleans his desk and gets ready for bed himself. Liam is out like a light and soon Harry hears his slow breathing. Harry turns around to look at him, but the room is too dark to see anything. Harry tries to sleep himself, but his eyes keep fluttering open.

An hour or two later, around two in the morning, he finally finds sleep and falls into a slumber. Only to wake up again an hour later. Cold sweat is running from his forehead and his cheeks are wet from the tears streaming down his face. He didn’t quite like the dream. He doesn’t quite like reality at the moment, either.


	2. The First And Hopefully The Last

A loud, obnoxious beeping invades Harry’s eardrums, causing him to wake up. He pulls the covers over his head and tries block out the sound. He wants to sleep again and when he wakes up he’ll realize this is all just a bad dream. However, the sound stops and Harry turns around, content with the silence.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I thought it was on radio. I hate that beeping sound.” Harry opens his eyes again, groaning at the voice. It’s not a dream. He really is sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, sharing a room with a guy he doesn’t know that has the most annoying alarm clock ever. He really has to attend a boarding school and wears those stupid uniforms.

He groans again, throwing the covers off of his naked body and gets up. Liam quickly looks away when Harry walks towards his suitcase to look for some clothes. Get used to it boy, I’ll always sleep naked, he thinks. He throws his uniform on and descends the two floors together with Liam, walking towards the canteen for breakfast.

“Where are your friends?” Harry asks Liam. He hopes that he actually has some friends and isn’t some loner that only makes his homework and doesn’t have a life for the rest of the time. He doesn’t want to be his only friend and he doesn’t want to be his friend just because they are roommates.

Liam laughs a little. “Don’t worry, I really do have friends. But they start a period later on Thursdays. They’re probably still sleeping now.” Lucky bastards, Harry thinks. But he only nods his head at Liam.

They eat breakfast in almost complete silence. Harry doesn’t really want to talk and Liam still seems kind of nervous. Liam asks some questions from time to time, but Harry only gives short answer, not really giving anything away. The frown on Liam’s forehead grows with time. He’s afraid Harry might not like him and that causes him to be so distant. But in fact, it really doesn’t have to do anything with Liam, Harry really just wants get out of here.

They also don’t say a word as they walk toward their first class, which is math. That ruins Harry’s day even more, because really who likes math? He’s got six periods of math a week. He’s got that back in Holmes Chapel as well, but they had such a nice and good teacher that he didn’t mind math at all. He bets that this teacher will be totally different.

Mr Carter, the math teacher is late. The sixth graders in the classroom next to theirs already went inside. Harry had recognized some of the guys who laughed at him the day before. They saw him, too and made stupid faces at him.

There is one sixth grader who is at least five minutes late, but he doesn’t seem to be in a hurry at all. He joggles slowly towards his class. When he looks up his eyes meet Harry’s. Harry is met with some of the most amazing greenish blue eyes he has ever seen. He tries to smile apologetically, but the guy only looks him straight in the eye, without a twitch upwards of the corners of his mouth.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Go quickly inside.” Harry tears his gaze away from the guy and follows his classmates the room in. When he heads for the back of the class he is stopped by Mr Carter. Harry sighs. He hopes he doesn’t have to introduce himself for the class. But his fears are confirmed when Mr Carter says that he has to introduce himself.

Harry sighs again and says: “I’m Harry Styles.”

Carter raises his eyebrows. “That’s all? Tell something more. Where are you from?”

“Holmes Chapel.”

“What are your hobbies? Do you have any siblings?” Will you please shut up? Harry thinks.

“Football. And I have an older sister, Gemma.” He really isn’t that big of a football fan. He actually really likes baking and singing, but that sounds so gay and he is positive that people will laugh at him when he says that.

Carter obviously gets tired of his short answers and lets him take a seat next to a girl with empty grey eyes and dirty blond hair. Her hair almost reaches her butt and is tangled and knotted, obviously not combed or washed in the past few days. Though, she could be beautiful if she took a bit better care of herself and if she wasn’t so lifeless.

She doesn’t say a word to Harry the entire period, but he really doesn’t mind. He doesn’t want to talk himself. He barely pays attention, even though he knows he should. His mind wanders off to Holmes Chapel: his old school and all the friends he had to leave behind. It sucks being without them, because these people really don’t seem so cool. They all seem pretty snobbish.

“Where the hell is classroom c07?” he asks Liam when the math course is over. This was just his first period and they already got a test due Monday. Obviously, that sucks really hard.

“Just this corridor through, then you go left twice. It’s the seventh classroom on the left,” Liam explains. “It’s actually really simple. These classrooms are A’s, on the opposite side are the B’s and in the other corridor it’s just the same, but with C and D.”

Harry isn’t really listening. Him and Liam are walking behind the guy from earlier. He now completely ignores Harry, since his walking in front of them and his back is turned to them. He is talking to one of the guys who laughed at Harry the other day.

“Who are they?” Harry asks Liam, nodding his head in the direction of the sixth graders. Liam looks up from Harry’s timetable. It takes a while for Liam to answer, because Harry had cut him off midsentence, while he was saying something about Harry’s next course, French.

“Some last year’s bullies. Don’t pay too much attention to them, they’re assholes,” Liam says, obviously not caring about who they really are. But Harry sees the eyes of the mysterious boy again, like they’re burned on the inside of his eyelids. He shakes his head to get the image out of his mind.

“I got Latin here, so I’ll see you during the break,” Liam says. Harry simply nods his head and keeps walking until he reaches classroom c07. He leans against the cold wall and closes his eyes, trying to block out all sound. But he is interrupted by some hyper kid.

“Are you Harry Styles, Liam’s new roommate?” he asks with an Irish accent, a big smile placed on his face. Harry raises his eyebrows at the kid. He has white blondish hair that is a bit messy. He’s got some piercing blue eyes and is not very tall, being the same age as Harry.

“Yup,” Harry says, popping the ‘p’, “that’s me.”

The smile on the kid’s face grows bigger, if that’s even possible. “My name’s Niall Horan. I’m Liam’s friend.” Obviously.

“Cool.”

Harry is glad he doesn’t have to introduce himself this time. Mrs Pais, their French teacher, is sweet, but old fashioned. She’s one of the oldest teachers his has, being somewhere her mid-fifties. She puts him next to the hyper kid called Niall. It’s the only place left, in the middle of the front row. Niall is put there because he was eating in class.

French goes by a little faster than math did, but it still goes too slow for Harry’s liking. Niall talks a lot during class, making it harder for Harry to let his thoughts wander off, but also to pay attention, even though he is actually not listening to what Niall is saying.

“Monsieur Styles.” Harry jumps a little as his name is called. He didn’t hear the question. “Tu veux répondre, s’il te plaît?”

“Vous voulez répéter la question, s’il vous plaît?” he asks, hoping that she won’t get mad for not paying attention.

She shakes her head in disapproval and lets out a sigh. “Would you mind paying attention next time, Mr Styles?” Niall giggles next to him and Harry shoots him a glare that he doesn’t see.

“Yes, Madam.”

He looks at Niall as Mrs Pais continues her lesson. “You giggle like a girl,” he says. Niall’s smile immediately disappears from his face and Harry doesn’t even feel bad about it, because the smile returns a second later.

“You’re like a grumpy old man. What’s the matter?” Niall asks. Mrs Pais shoots them a warning glare and Harry doesn’t bother with answering. Niall doesn’t press it and he doesn’t ask again when they’re finally able to leave the classroom. But Harry is called back by Mrs Pais.

He stands in front of her desk with his hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoes. She looks at him with a concerned look in her eyes. “I know it’s hard being the new kid, Mr Styles, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay attention. Is there something wrong?”

Harry shakes his head. The only thing that matters is that he doesn’t want to be there, that he wants to be home again, in Holmes Chapel. But she doesn’t need to know that. She’ll think he’s homesick and that he wants to go back to his mommy. But he really doesn’t. The only advantage of being here is that he is away from his parents.

“You know if there is something wrong that you can contact one of the teachers, right?” He nods his head. “Will you pay attention next time?” Another nod. “You can go.” And he’s out of there as quickly as possible. Niall waits for him in the corridor and he wishes he didn’t. But he is not alone, he’s there with Liam and another guy Harry hasn’t seen before.

“Everything alright?” Liam asks. Harry only nods his head and starts walk toward the Great Hall. He doesn’t ask who the other boy is, probably just another one of Liam’s friends. Because he had to talk to Mrs Pais, he already missed have of the break and it pisses him of even more. This really is a bad day to him.

The rest of the morning goes by as slow as the first part. Harry learns that the other guy’s name is Zayn Malik. Harry’s got fourth period, which is chemistry, with him. He fell asleep and Harry had to laugh a bit with the face he pulled when the teacher, Mr Wilson, woke him and gave him detention, since it was not his first time.

Harry looks a bit happier when the lunch break rolls by. He is actually talking to Zayn as they walk together toward the canteen. Zayn complains about their chemistry teacher, that he really should retire now, since probably already sixty. Harry can’t help, but have a smile on his face as they finally meet up with Niall and Liam.

“He’s able to smile,” Niall says, also smiling, although his smile is much wider. “What did you do to him, Zayn?”

Zayn simply shrugs his shoulders. “Nothing. I just talked. I guess I’m not as boring as you are.” That earns punch in the shoulder from Niall. Soon they’re chasing after each other, Niall getting much more punches than Zayn, because Zayn is much faster.

“How old are they?” Harry asks as him and Liam take a seat at one of the lunch tables that isn’t full already.

“I guess four,” Liam replies, happy to finally see a smile on Harry’s face. Harry chuckles a bit, stuffing his mouth full with food.

“Liam! I haven’t seen you all day.” A girl with dark, perfectly shaped curls walks their way. She has a wide smile placed her face. Liam starts to smile as well as he sees her and Harry is already positive that they’re dating.

Harry turns his head toward his plate. He really doesn’t want to see all the cuteness, it gets him sick. After a while, Niall and Zayn take a seat at their table as well and greet the girl. Apparently they know her pretty well, which is kind of logic.

Suddenly, Harry’s eye catches a boy sitting alone at a table in the corner of the canteen. It’s of course the sixth grader. He is holding a book in his hand, but Harry can’t read the title, since he is sitting so far. A moment later, an amazingly gorgeous girl approaches him. He smiles at her as he puts his book away and she takes a seat in front of him. The girl has long, blond hair that is put in loose waves.

For a split second, the guy’s eyes look past the girl and are met with Harry’s. Harry’s heart skips a beat and looks away from the guy and tries to focus on the conversation that Liam is having with his girlfriend, while Niall is empting his overfull plate at a record breaking speed and Zayn just stares at his food, half asleep.

“You’re not going to eat that?” Niall asks Zayn. Zayn shakes his head and Niall changes his now empty plate with Zayn’s and starts to eat again. Harry wonders where puts all that food. He is so small that it surprises Harry that he hasn’t exploded yet.

Harry smiles. They are not as bad as he first thought.


	3. Books Are Just Books

Harry’s smile is still placed on his face when he walks alone towards his English class. He has two periods of English today, but he doesn’t really mind. His teacher, Miss Clearwater, is young and really nice. Her courses aren’t as boring as old Carter or Wilson’s.

Deep in thought about how awful Carter and Wilson actually are, he didn’t see the guy and bumped straight into him. The guy turns around and isn’t very pleased with Harry bumping into him. But a smirk grows on his face when he sees it’s the one who stumbled into the door the other day.

“Well, isn’t that the new kid? What’s your name again? Styles?” he says, the smirk only growing wider. Harry doesn’t move or say anything. He doesn’t want to get in trouble on his first day and it looks like this guy really could get him into some deep trouble.

“I do expect you to answer when I ask you something,” he says, his smirk disappearing a bit, but he is obviously still amused by the scared look on Harry’s face. He doesn’t want to get punched and this one really seems a puncher.

“Yes,” is all Harry is able to bring out. The other sixth graders around the one talking laugh at the crack in his voice. All but one. His hair is messy and light brown coloured. His eyes are greenish blue and really gorgeous. And Harry has seen them before. He is still holding the book in his hands that he was reading during lunch break.

“Listen, Styles, if you bump into me again, or any of that sort, you’ll be able to meet my best friend.” Told you so, puncher. Harry just nods his head. The sixth grader turns his back to him and Harry quickly crosses the Great Hall, walking away from the guy as fast as possible.

He doesn’t understand. The one with the book seems such a nice guy and he can’t understand why he hangs out with these bullies. Why doesn’t he just hang out with that girl he met during the lunch break. She seemed nice as well.

His good mood turns immediately to a bad one again. His day sucks again and he really wants to go home. After English, he’s got another period with Zayn, biology this time. He decides to skip the last period, which is just gym so it’s not that big of a deal.

He lets his body fall on his bed, face first and closes his eyes, exhausted from the day. Liam walks in the room an hour later and surprised to see Harry lying on his bed already and being sound asleep. He decides to wake him up when it’s time for dinner, which is an hour later and they descend together, meeting up with Zayn and Niall half way.

They eat dinner together with Liam’s girlfriend, Phoebe, and her two friends, April and Sienna. It’s probably not the first time they eat together, because they all seem very familiar with each other. Harry notices Niall eyeing Sienna a few times and every time she catches him looking, she turns away, blushing and so does Niall.

Sienna isn’t very tall, barely reaching five foot two. She has light blonde, almost white locks reaching just past her shoulders. Her eyes are as green as the trees outside, but sometimes they turn yellowish. She has the cutest little nose Harry has ever seen and gets along with Niall really well. He doesn’t really know them, but they both eat a lot and are pretty hyper, so they seem perfect for each other.

April is a bit taller than Sienna. Her hair is in light waves – she says it is their natural way of going, but Harry doesn’t know if he believes her – and brown. Her eyes are soft and caramel coloured. Her lips seems so perfectly pink and plum, which is the cause of her gorgeous smile. And she smiles a lot. She smiles at the sickening cute couple and at Niall and Sienna flirting and blushing and she seems genuinely happy with them being in love.

They all seem very nice people to Harry, but he can’t help and wish that he isn’t here. Though he feels a bit better than he did earlier this afternoon. There is a small smile placed on his face again and from time to time he laughs at Niall’s jokes.

Later, when he is in his room again he undresses himself until he is only wearing his boxers. He knows that Liam is uncomfortable when he is naked. Earlier this day he wouldn’t have cared if he was uncomfortable or not, but Harry started to like Liam. He collapses on his bed once again. He’s got a math test due Monday and also an essay for English due Monday. He’ll do that this weekend.

It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep this time, even though it’s only eight thirty. Liam still has to study for his Latin test the next day, but it doesn’t bother Harry, he sleeps through it. His sleep is dreamless, but it only seems that his head had just hit his pillows as Liam’s alarm clock goes off the following morning. This time it’s not the obnoxious, loud beeping, but simply the radio playing, which is Harry thankful for.

His first period is together with Zayn, another science course. He’s got two math periods which sucks, but this time he is allowed to sit next Liam and that makes it a little bit more bearable. He also got another course of French together with Niall. Niall tried to eat again, but got caught again and he got detention. Now he can go together with Zayn, getting up early on Saturday morning. He also noticed that he has English together with Phoebe, Sienna and April, who smiled and waved at him.

He also crossed paths with the mysterious sixth grader a couple of times, but the guy doesn’t look at him anymore and completely ignores him. He once again sat alone during lunch, reading his book, until the same girl from the day before went to sit with him. Harry was a bit thankful for that, that he didn’t eat with those bullies. Although he doesn’t even know why he cares in the first place.

Friday flew by much quicker than Thursday and before he ever realizes it, it’s already weekend. He is thankful that they don’t have to wear those awfully stupid uniforms during the weekends, because he really hates those blazers and ties. He sleeps in Saturday which puts him in a good mood. He throws on a simple white shirt and a beige pants and heads down with Liam for breakfast. 

Harry’s good fades a bit after breakfast when he realizes he has yet to do a good amount of homework. But Niall and Zayn distract him, asking him if he’s up for a game of football. Harry immediately forgets about his homework and heads outdoor with them. They are joined with some guys that Harry only knows the names of. Liam watches from the side line with Phoebe and her two friends. 

When lunch rolls by, he still hadn’t done any of his homework and honestly, he really doesn’t feel like making any even though he knows his should. He says to himself that he will make it this afternoon, after lunch. Of course, he didn’t keep his promise. He had hung out with Niall, Zayn and a couple of others boys he barely knew all day. He had barely seen Liam, who was with his girlfriend. 

He felt a bit guilty that evening, for not doing any homework. He’ll have to do it the next day and he knows that he will delay it again. He proves that statement the next day. Around six thirty, after dinner he finally grabs his books and heads toward the library to write his essay. He’ll probably skip studying for his math test, it’s a subject he already saw at his old school. He would have studied during lunch break, but math is his second period Monday morning. 

The library is quiet. He has already walked past it, but is never been inside. The library is huge. There is a path in the middle with on each side bookcases that reach till the ceiling. Harry has never seen so many books at one place. Even the library in his hometown wasn’t this huge. He is not a fan of books, but he is truly amazed by what he sees. How the hell is he going to find the right book in here? 

He starts to slowly walk around and looks if there are subjects that could relate to Myths, the topic he has to write an essay about. He is glad when he finally finds the right aisle and starts walking through it. And there he is, the mysterious sixth grader, sitting on the ground with a book in his hand. He is alone and it doesn’t seem like one of his friends are anywhere near. He doesn’t seem to notice Harry at first, but when he walks closer he looks up. His beautiful greenish blue eyes bore into Harry’s. A faint smile appears on his face. 

Harry nervously clears his throat. He open his mouth and closes it again. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what. The sixth grader is still looking at him, obviously expecting him to say anything. When that doesn’t happen he says something himself. 

“Are you looking for something?” he asks. His voice is smooth and a small smirk appears on his face. Harry is caught off guard for a second, but quickly recovers. 

“Myths,” he says, sounding a bit nervous. “A book with Myths.” The other boy doesn’t say anything, but reaches up and grabs a book. He shows the cover to Harry and says: “This is a pretty good one.” 

Harry takes the book from the guy and looks at the cover. The cover is a very primitive drawing from a woman on a cow in the sea. Tanglewood Tales is the title. The book seems extremely old and worn out. Harry looks at it with his eyebrows raised. 

“If you don’t like then just put it back,” the boy says harshly. He gets up, grabs the book from Harry’s hand and puts it back in its place. Without saying another he grabs the book he was reading and disappears from the aisle. Harry just stares at the place he was just moments ago. The boy look really friendly, but his mood switched in a second. Harry hadn’t even said anything, he had just looked at the cover. 

Harry grabs the book again and walks toward the desk where the library lady checks the books you take with you. She nods her head as Harry shows her the book. He quickly heads up again, the start writing his essay. It’s not as easy as he thought it would be and he is only finished when the clock reaches ten o’clock. 

He rubs his eyes when he is ready and puts his books away. Liam is lying on his bed, on the phone with an unknown person. Harry wants to know if he knows anything about the mysterious sixth grader. He’s become a little curious about him now he talked to him. He wonders why he became so angry. Maybe he’s got a temper problem and is that the reason his mood changed so quickly. 

He’s lying on his bed, waiting for Liam to end his phone call. But before Liam can even finished Harry is sound asleep. 

Louis Tomlinson is a sixth grader attending Westminster Boarding School. He is one of the lucky – or unlucky – people who got a room for himself. He doesn’t mind being on his own, in fact he liked to be on his own, but some company from time to time wouldn’t hurt. That is one of the reason he isn’t in his room after the curfew most of the time. 

This time it wasn’t for someone’s company though. If he’s not hanging with his friends or making homework, he’s at the library reading another book. Some of his friends call him a geek. Maybe he is, but he doesn’t mind being a geek. Reading takes his mind off of real life, which he needs from time to time.

He walks through the aisles, his fingers softly brushing the backs of the books. He stops when he sees something interesting he hasn’t read yet. He takes a seat on the ground and immediately starts to read. His lost in the story within minutes. Until someone interrupts him.

A younger boy with brown curls walks through the aisle. Louis faintly smiles at him. He has seen the boy before. Kenneth has yelled at him when he accidently bumped into him. His name is Styles, although Louis doesn’t think it’s his first name. He hadn’t laughed when Kenneth laughed at him when you could hear the fear in his voice, but he hadn’t done anything either. Kenneth wasn’t about to punch.

The Styles boy opens his mouth a couple of times and Louis expects him to say something, but no words come out. After a while Louis just asks: “Are you looking for something?” He can’t help, but smirk a little at the look on the boy’s face. He seemed to be a little off guard. 

Eventually he opens his mouth, sounding a bit nervous. “Myths,” he says, his voice lower and deeper than Louis expected. “A book with Myths.” 

Louis smiles in himself. He remembers being in fourth grade and he had to write an essay about Myths. He had pulled out a book and at the same time another book fell out. He had used that other book and had gotten an A.

He doesn’t open his mouth to say which book he used, instead he reached up and grabbed it, showing the cover to the curly boy. “This is a pretty good one,” he says.

The other boy grabs the book and looks at it, his eyebrows raised. Louis knows it’s old and worn out, but doesn’t make any less good. In fact, older books are often the better ones. Louis tried to help him, if he doesn’t appreciate it, he could have at least hidden it a bit better.

“If you don’t like it then just put it back,” he says harshly. He grabs the book from the boy’s hands and puts it back in the bookcase. Then he grabs the other book, gets up and walks away, leaving a surprised Styles boy behind.


	4. What's Inside Your Brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone pointed out to me that the age of the characters is a bit confusing. Well, Harry, Liam, Zayn and Niall are 16 in this (I made Harry a year older so he would be the same age as Niall, Zayn and Liam) and Louis is 18. It might be a bit confusing because I talk about 4th and 6th grade. That's because I didn't know how the British school system worked (I do now, but I wrote this some time ago) and I used the Belgian school system (because I'm from Belgium. You may or may not have noticed that English isn't my native language). So 4th grade is the same as Sophomore or 10th grade in America and Year 11 in Britain. 6th grade is the last year of high school, Senior or 12th grade in America and Upper Sixth Form or Year 13 in Britain. Just wanted to clear that up.  
> Let me know what you think!

Monday morning was awful. When Harry woke up he had still the clothes on from the day before. Liam apologized for that, but found it awkward to take his clothes off or wake him up. Harry didn’t mind at all, he really needed his sleep and he would have found it awkward as well if Liam would have taken his clothes off. 

First period was English. They had to hand in their essay. Harry had it almost forgotten, because it was still on his desk, buried under a couple of books, including the old Myth book the mysterious sixth grader had recommended him. He had to run upstairs again to go get it and wasn’t in class when the bell rung. Now he’s got to write an extra essay. 

The math test wasn’t all that bad, but it could have been better if had studied. Mr Carter kept looking at his students from the corner of his eye, looking out if they weren’t cheating. It freaked Harry out, even though he wasn’t cheating, and he couldn’t properly concentrate on his test, one that was awfully hard. 

Geography and history are two of his least favourite courses ever and he couldn’t help but fall asleep, even though his teachers are two lovely women who aren’t boring at all. They are two of the nicest he had so far. They didn’t caught him, though, or if they did they hadn’t said anything, which he was them thankful for. 

He is glad when lunch strolls by and half of the day is over. He notices the sixth grader sitting alone again. Harry is debating whether he should go to him and ask him if he said anything wrong the other day in the library or if he should just ignore him and go sit with Liam, Niall and Zayn. 

Before he decides what to do his name is been called. Niall is waving his arms in the air to get his attention and points at the seat next to him, Zayn sitting on the other side with Liam next to him. Harry shrugs the thoughts of the sixth grader off and takes a seat next to Niall. 

“Is that all you’re going to eat?” he asks with his eyes wide. Harry looks at Niall’s plate, which is twice as full as his. He still wonders where the food goes in that small boy next to him. 

“Some people eat normal amounts of food and not an amount that is twice as big as themselves,” Harry replies. He hears Liam and Zayn slightly chuckle and Niall shoves a bit away from him, shooting Harry a dirty glance. 

When Harry and Niall walk toward their Spanish class after lunch, Niall pokes him in the ribs. Harry looks annoyed at him, but Niall points at something. “Look.” Harry looks as well. He is pointing at the noticeboard with an announcement pinned on it. Mrs Fransisco, their Spanish teacher, is ill and they got a period off. Unfortunately they can’t do whatever they want, they have to go to the study hall and study instead. 

Harry and Niall turn around and start heading for the study hall. It is only their class and a class of sixth graders. Harry could have expected it, there was the guy from the library. He sits with his back against the wall. He has a book in his hands, but he is not paying any attention to it. He is talking to the girl he eats lunch with. 

“Hey, Styles! Is the little leprechaun your friend?” Niall, who’s standing next to him, groans. One of the sixth graders, the one who Harry bumped into the other day, smirks at them. Harry doesn’t say anything. He walks further into the study hall with Niall hot on his heels. They take a seat somewhere in the middle. 

“They call you a leprechaun?” Harry asks Niall. Niall’s cheeks flush a bit. Harry feels embarrassed for him. 

“Just because I’m not really tall and I’m from Ireland.” Harry rolls his eyes. That is ridiculous. Being small is the most stupid reason the make fun of someone and it’s actually not funny at all. 

“Just ignore them,” Harry says. Niall nods his head, but Harry is sure that he won’t be able to do that. 

“Styles, seriously I thought you could do better than that,” the sixth grader comes closer to Harry and Niall with his two friends hot on his heels. He smirks at them. The other two guys seem bubble heads, but they also seem extremely strong. Harry doesn’t really want to get punched and judging by his face, neither does Niall. 

“Kenneth, leave them alone,” a voice from the back says. Harry, Niall, the sixth grader named Kenneth and his two friends turn their heads to the boy leaning against the wall. His book is hanging loosely in his hand and both him and the girl he was talking two look at the little group in the middle. “They haven’t done anything wrong.” 

The guy’s words haven’t wiped the smirk off of Kenneth’s face. Instead it grows wider. “Have a little fun, Louis.” Harry has seen them together, talking. They looked like they were friends, but now it doesn’t like their friends at all. He doesn’t get it. It’s like the mysterious guy – Louis – can change with snap. 

Louis shakes his head. “I have better ways to have fun than bullying some fourth graders.” He looks away again, talking to the girl once again. Harry keeps staring at his back, even after the teacher responsible for the two classes has said that they had to grab their books, study and make no sound.

After a while Louis turns around to look Harry directly in the eye. He feels a blush creeping up his face and turns away from him. Instead he turns to Niall, who is writing down a lot with his tongue stick between his teeth.

“Niall,” Harry whispers. Niall looks up. “Do you know anything about him.” Harry nods his head in Louis’ direction. Niall looks for a moment at the older boy before he opens his mouth.

“He’s a sixth grader,” he whispers. Harry rolls his eyes.

“Stuff I didn’t know yet.”

“I don’t know a lot about him. No one knows a lot about him. He hangs out with Kenneth Duncan and his gang, but he’s also a lot with that girl, which is weird because Mona hates Duncan and his gang. He’s always reading or some stuff, a lot in the library. Apparently he’s really smart, ‘cause he has Latin and about eight hours of math.”

Harry nods his head. Eight hours of math? That is insane! Who wants that? He is already sick of the six hours he’s got. And Latin on top of it? Harry hates Latin. He had it in first grade and immediately dropped it the year after. And then a lot of reading on top of it. He really doesn’t look like one, but Louis is absolutely a geek.

Harry looks at him again. He is reading again, too concentrated to notice Harry staring. There is something about him. He doesn’t know what yet, but there is something. He just doesn’t understand why he is so determined to find out what. He has nothing to do with the guy and he is not bothering him.

Harry grabs his hair with both of his hands and slams his head on his desk. He. Bang. Wants. Bang. The. Bang. Thoughts. Bang. To. Bang. Go. Bang. Away. Bang. He shouldn’t care. 

“Mr Styles, I have no idea what you are doing, but you could you please stop it?” Harry looks up. The teacher and big amount of the students in the hall are looking at him. Harry’s cheeks flush a bit and he sheepishly nods his head. 

He catches Louis looking at him as well. Is he grinning at him? Is he really making fun of him? Is he – 

“Harry?” Niall whispers from behind him. “Are you okay?” 

Harry doesn’t turn around to answer, but only nods his head. He lays his head down on his desk. Coolness of the desk calm his thoughts and he closes his eyes, slowly drifting off, even though he is still in the study hall and the teacher will probably say something about it. 

Which doesn’t happen and he is awoken by Niall when the bell rings. “You sure everything is okay?” Niall asks while they collect their belongings and head out for the break. 

“This school just so much more exhausting than a normal school,” Harry replies. 

Niall chuckles a bit. “I know.”

“You’ve been on a normal school?” Harry asks, wondering if he’s not the only one who didn’t start here from zero. 

“Yes, I went to Coláiste Mhuire for two years. It’s somewhere in Ireland,” he adds as Harry raises his eyebrows. Harry is never been in Ireland before, so he doesn’t know a whole lot about it. 

“Why did you come to a boarding school then?” Harry asks. He wouldn’t know why someone would want go to a boarding school just for fun if they are already in a good school. This boarding school is horrible and exhausting. Seriously, Harry doesn’t get as much sleep as he did as when he attended his old school. 

“My mum thought they weren’t strict enough for me. My cousin went here and my aunt told her that it’s a really good school, so she decided to put me here. I complained a lot about it in the beginning, but it really isn’t as bad as I first thought,” Niall says. He frowns a little. “Though, I prefer my old school.” 

Me too, Harry thinks. Who wouldn’t? A bit sunken in his thoughts he follows Niall toward the canteen. Niall wants to grab a snack for they go looking for Liam and Zayn. Niall eats literally during every single break. It surprises Harry that Niall isn’t fat yet. He so tiny and small. 

Liam and Zayn are sitting outside with Liam’s girlfriend and her two friends. Also the girl Harry sat next to the first math course he had. She is not laughing along with the others and she seems a bit out of place. It seems like she doesn’t want to be there at all and she seems pretty annoyed with the others. 

“Harry!” one of the girls he remembers to be April says. “Have you met Avalon yet?” She nods her head at the girl with the dirty blond hair. Avalon seems to snap out of her trance when her name is called. 

“We sat together in math,” Harry says, looking at the girl. “I haven’t caught her name though.” Avalon averts empty grey eyes from April to look at Harry. A cold shiver goes down his spine as he looks into those lifeless eyes. He wonders what is up with her. 

Avalon doesn’t open her mouth during the whole break. The rest of the group are laughing and joking around, but she doesn’t participate in their conversation. Harry wonders if she’s even able to talk. He finds her a bit scary. 

Harry walks towards his chemistry class together with Zayn after the break when he realizes that his books are still in his room. He tells Zayn that he’ll catch up with him later and that he has to tell Wilson that he’ll be later. 

When he walks back into the Great Hall he sees the guy that has left him wondering for days. Louis walks in the direction Harry just came from and doesn’t seem to notice the younger boy until he almost bumps into him. Louis stares at him and Harry feels kind of awkward. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know if actually should say something. 

But Louis doesn’t seem to have the intention to walk away from him, so Harry kind of feels like has to say something. “Um, I used the book,” he says awkwardly. “You know, the one you recommended me. Thanks for that.” He nervously half smiles at Louis. 

Louis doesn’t return the smile. He simply asks “Why?” 

Harry fumbles with the hem of his shirt. He feels like a boy who is nervous to talk to his crush. Which is ridiculous, because Louis isn’t a girl and Harry is not crushing on him at all. But Louis is kind of intimidating by being so distant. He might not even try or intend to, but Harry becomes nervous when he is around him. 

“It was the only option left, I guess. You seemed to like the book,” Harry says, hoping that it will do for Louis. There isn’t a single emotion crossing the older boy’s face and Harry doesn’t know what to think. 

Louis shrugs. “I had a good grade on that essay. I used that book.” Harry nods his head. Hopefully he will get a good grade on that essay as well. Probably not as good as Louis, since he seems to be extremely smart. 

“I guess I have to go now,” Louis says, starting for the corridor, heading towards his class. Harry stares at his back when he walks away from him before running up the stairs to get his books for chemistry and his next period, French.


	5. Walking In The Darkness

Tuesday is the least worst day of the week. He got the whole morning periods with either Niall, Zayn or Liam. Having a course with one of them makes it better than having one on his own. Niall and Zayn always manage to get detention, Niall for eating and Zayn for sleeping. Liam pays much more attention during class. The Harry is just having with distracting him. Liam can’t help laugh at it, even though he knows he shouldn’t.

The afternoon is with none of them, but Harry’s got some nice course like music with an extremely cool teacher. The coolest so far. His name is Mr Larritate and he is in his early thirties, so he is still pretty young and seems to understand his pupils. Music is a bit of a relaxing course. The only thing they seem to do is sing songs together.

The period after music he’s got IT. IT is quite boring, but it’s the first time since he arrived at Westminster that he is able to surf on the internet. He isn’t the only one who takes that opportunity. No one actually does something during that class, but surfing on the internet.

His last course of the day is Physical Education. Harry loves PE, it is one of his favourite courses. It is the only class where you don’t have to sit at a desk, but you can actually move and do something.

When he arrives at the boy’s dressing room he notices that his class isn’t the only class in the dressing room. The other guys seem older, so they are probably fifth or sixth graders. Then he notices the Kenneth, the bully, and his friends. And then he sees Louis. Without a shirt. Harry turns his head away, his cheeks turning red.

He quickly changes his from his school uniform into his gym uniform, since he is one of the last and he doesn’t want them to wait for him. When he runs outside together with some one guy from his history class named Julian he didn’t expect the sixth graders to have gym with them. But apparently they do. 

“Since coach Harolds is still absent we’re going to mix again,” coach Jenkins says to both the guys from the fourth and the sixth form. “We’re playing a match of football today. Sixth against fourth. Good luck everyone. And try to play fair.” While saying those words he lets his gaze slide over the faces of Kenneth Duncan and his friends around him that are barely paying attention. “Got it, Duncan?” 

Duncan nods his head, looking at the coach with a smirk on his face. Then the group splits in two smaller groups. Harry doesn’t start and takes a seat on the bench next to Julian at the side of the field. “Duncan and his gang never play fair, so we’re pretty much going to get our asses kicked,” he says, not sounding very happy. 

Someone who does start on the field is Louis. Harry looks at him moving across the field, his body moving smoothly. He is very concentrated and never takes his eyes off of the ball, even when he is on the other side of the field. Harry is surprised at how good he actually is. He didn’t thought that Louis would suck, but not that he would be this good, either. 

Halfway through the course they swap sides and new players are present on the field, including Harry and his friend Julian. Also Kenneth Duncan and his gang are on the field and Harry heard Julian groaning when they got up. Louis is now off the field, sitting on a bench at the side of the field and his eyes are resting on Harry. 

It is obvious that the sixth graders are going to win. The big, older guys ram with their shoulders into the younger ones so they stumble backwards and their way is free the score. Harry doesn’t really understand why they want to win so badly, it is just a stupid game during their PE courses. It is not like their life is depending on it. But that’s exactly how they play, like their life’s are depending on it. It is ridiculous. 

“Great job, guys,” coach Jenkins says before they can go and change into their uniforms again. “I see the guys from fourth grade Thursday. We’re going to run again.” Harry groans. He hates running. He likes PE, except if they have to go running. It is so boring and the same all the time. “Coach Harolds is going to be absent for another week, so I see both grades next week for a game of basketball. Now go change, boys.” 

“Another course with those stupid sixth graders,” Julian says, not looking very happy. Harry doesn’t see why he hates it so much. Okay, Duncan and his gang aren’t very nice, but the rest of the sixth graders aren’t being any difficulty. In fact, it’s nice to have a bigger group. But Harry doesn’t say anything and just nods his head. 

“See you tomorrow in history,” Julian says as both him and Harry are dressed. Harry says goodbye and they separate their ways, Harry going to the library where he knows that Liam will be. He had his last period off and he told Harry that he would already go make their math homework. Harry doesn’t really feel like making math homework, but if he is able to do it together with Liam than it might go a bit better.

Harry finds Liam sitting at a table in the back of the library. He is scribbling down his answers while Niall, who is sitting on top of the table, is talking away to him. Liam frowns in concentration and is obviously not listening to Niall. Niall doesn’t notice, though, he is too caught up in his story. 

“Hi guys,” Harry says, making his presence known. Niall stops talking and grins widely at Harry. A look of relief flashes over Liam’s face. 

“Thank God, Harry tell Niall to shut up,” Liam says without taking his eyes off of the paper to look at Harry. Niall’s expression changes a bit, but shrugs it off only a second later. Harry pushes Niall’s feet aside, so he can take a seat next to Liam and also takes out his math books. Niall immediately opens his mouth. 

“Oh no! You’re not going to be boring as well,” he says while trying to grab Harry’s books away. Harry is too quick though and takes the books before Niall’s fingers can touch them. Niall’s expression is a bit hurt, but Harry laughs it off. He knows Niall is trying his puppy look to make Harry entertain him instead of studying. 

When Harry starts to look at his math problems as well, looking at Liam’s solutions from time to time, Niall starts to talk again, continuing the story he was first telling before Harry arrived. It is something about a boat trip he had with his father where he almost ended drowning, but Harry tries to block him out. At this point he wishes Niall had actually drowned. 

Niall is talking so much that Harry barely notices that he changes topic. A topic that Harry might find interesting actually. “Look, there’s that Tomlinson guy again. He is always reading. Who wants to read all the time, isn’t it extremely boring?” Niall says. 

Harry slightly looks up, wondering who Niall is talking about. When he follows Niall’s gaze he sees Louis sitting on the ground with a book in his hands. He doesn’t seem to notice the stares for Niall and Harry, or if he does he decided to ignore them. He is not alone, though. A girl who Harry hasn’t seen before is sitting next to him, also holding a book in her hands. She is extremely gorgeous. Her hair is long, light brown and shiny. It is like it’s dancing around her shoulders when she moves. Her skin is pale, almost like snow, and very smooth. Her ocean blue eyes are half closed since she is looking down at her book. 

But only a moment later she looks up, feeling the stares of Harry and Niall burn into her forehead. She doesn’t seem to look at Niall though. She looks straight into Harry’s grass green eyes and smiles a small, pearly white smile at him. He tries to smile as well, but it is more some foolish grinning and the girl giggles softly. 

That makes Louis look up as well. First he looks at the girl, then at a staring Harry. Niall isn’t looking anymore, instead he is continuing his boot trip story. Louis doesn’t smile, like the girl has done. He is not looking in Harry’s eyes, either. But he is glancing in their direction. He opens his mouth, saying something while fixing his gaze on the girl’s face now, her expression changing while Louis is talking to her. 

“Harry!”

Harry snaps his head aside. Liam looks at him with a puzzled look. His math books are still open in front of him, but he is obviously finished with his homework. Niall has stopped talking and is also looking at him, a smirk plastered on his face like he just heard the biggest gossip ever. 

“You were looking at that girl,” Niall says, smirk still present on his face. He wiggles his eyebrows at Harry. Harry furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head. 

“No, I was not –”

“He was not. He was staring at her and it was very inappropriate,” Liam interrupts him, looking at Harry. 

“She didn’t seem to mind, though,” Niall answers with his gaze on Liam, defending Harry. “And I can’t blame him that he was staring at her. Have you ever seen a girl prettier than her?” 

Liam opens his mouth to say something, but Harry is faster and interrupts him before he can bring a word out. “Who is she?” 

Niall grins at him. “Her full name is Evanna Cole, but everyone seems to call her Eve. She has many worshipers, but as far as I know she turned them all down. Lots of girls want to be her friend, because she can get any boy she wants. But she’s most comfortable around boy as her friends. She has a lot of guy friends, because they all tried to take her out on a date or something, but they got stuck in the friend zone.”

“So she’s out of your league,” Liam says, smirking a bit. It was a devilish smirk and Harry never expected Liam to give him that kind of smirk. 

“You’re talking like you had a failed attempt with her,” Harry throws back, his smirk mirroring Liam’s. Liam’s face falls. 

“I hadn’t,” he says, but Harry isn’t entirely sure if he believes him. Though, he doesn’t say anything about it anymore and drops the subject. Liam seems nervous and the last thing Harry wants to do is upset him. Harry shrugs his shoulders and looks at his math homework again, looking at Liam’s still open book from time to time. 

Niall shrugs as well and grabs his backpack from under the table to take an XL bag of crisps out. Liam looks at him with his eyebrows raised. “Really, Niall? We’re going to eat in an half an hour and you’re going to eat a bag of crisps?”

“Pretty much,” Niall says while shoving a handful of crisps in his mouth. 

“Louis, I ran out of books. I need the library,” Eve says, walking towards Louis with a look of need on her face. (the need of reading of course, nothing else) Louis chuckles at her, patting her on the shoulder while she pulls a face. 

“You’re getting worse than me,” he says while she grabs his hand and starts pulling him towards the library. Louis rolls his eyes at her. People make fun of him because he reads a lot, but she is way worse than him. They never make fun of her when she reads, though. Must be her beauty. 

A lot of guys like her, but most of them just like her because she is beautiful, not because of her character. Most of the time they barely know her. That is why she turned many of them down. She is a special girl and you shouldn’t do these kind of things to her, she doesn’t like it and it definitely won’t help your case. 

Louis was different, though. He actually had taken the time to get to know her. That is what she had liked about him. That is the reason he has been one of the only guys that was able to make her heart race. The things he had said to her were simple, but sweet. But that is the past now. He doesn’t make her heart race anymore. He is also stuck in the friend zone now and it’s not because she hadn’t liked him. 

She drags Louis immediately towards the racks with the novels. Louis is not a big novel fan, but he knows how much Eve likes them and he doesn’t mind to read one from time to time. He finds them predictable though and he can’t help but laugh at all the cheesy stories. But he can lose reality while reading those stories. Just like this time. 

Eve however is distracted after a couple of minutes. She feels a couple of burning eyes on her forehead and looks up to see a curly haired boy that she has never seen before and the blond Irish boy she has seen a couple of times before, staring at her. Her eyes lock with the curly haired boy. His eyes have an amazing shade of green and she can’t help smile at him. A giggle escapes her lips when she sees that he tries to smile as well, but instead a sheepish grin appears on his face. She finds it kind of cute. 

Louis looks up at her the moment the giggle escapes her mouth. Then he follows her gaze towards the fourth grader. It’s him again. Harry Styles, he remembers to be his name. He doesn’t really know if he likes the boy. He has caught him staring at him a couple of times, but he doesn’t understand why. He also made a few attempts to talk to him. Louis really doesn’t know what to think about him. 

Louis avert his eyes from Harry and looks at Eve again. “Another boy who’s undressing you with his eyes. You don’t actually like him, do you?” He watches her as her face falls, but he doesn’t feel guilty about what he said. In fact he is happy that she doesn’t look at Harry anymore with eyes that seem to like what they see.


	6. Beauty On The Outside

_“Enjoy your detention.”_

_A grin. A flying fist. Warm liquid on his hand. A door flying open._

_“Harry Styles, you are expelled from this school. Forever.”_

Harry’s eyes shoot open, but that doesn’t help him to see anything. The room is dark. He wipes the tears from his face and quickly gets out of bed. The alarm clock on Liam’s nightstand says that it is around three in the morning. He walks towards the sink to clean off the tears of his face. 

But something stops him. A noise coming from the corridor. A bang, like someone just walked into the wall. Harry shrugs it off. It is probably a teacher that is supervising or something like that, Harry thinks as he splashes some water into his face. 

But then he hears a soft humming and it is obvious that a teacher wouldn’t start humming while doing their nightly supervision. Harry dries of his face and walks towards the door to open it. When he steps into the corridor he is right. It is not a teacher walking around. It is a boy. But he can’t exactly see who it is since it is too dark. 

“Harry? What are you doing?” 

Harry turns around to see a very tired looking Liam sitting up in his bed. His eyes are half closed and it doesn’t seem like he will be able to hold them open for much longer. Then Harry turns his head to the approaching, still humming boy. 

“There’s someone out there,” Harry says softly. Liam furrows his eyebrows. 

“Go back to bed, they’re probably just going to the toilets or something.” Harry shakes his head. He doesn’t think it is someone going to the toilet. He has a feeling that the boy is not allowed to be here. 

When the boy is only a few meters away Harry is finally able to see his face. He could have expected it. It is Louis Tomlinson. But there is something wrong with the boy. Something is different than normally. Louis’ eyes are closed. 

“He’s sleepwalking!” Harry says, turning to Liam. Liam’s eyes are closed again, but it is obvious that he is not asleep. He quickly opens his eyes and gets out of bed to stand next to Harry and look at the sleepwalking boy coming their way. 

“Should we wake him up –”

“No!” Liam interrupts. “Never wake up a sleepwalking person. That’s very dangerous for them.” 

“Okay.” Harry shrugs his shoulders. 

“We should go back to bed,” Liam says while turning his back to the sleepwalking boy and heading back into their room. But Harry doesn’t move. He doesn’t want to go back to bed. He wants to look at how Louis is sleepwalking, it is pretty fascinating, you know. He has never seen or even known anyone who sleepwalks. 

But Louis’ eyes flutter open before Harry can reply to Liam. He is staring wide eyed at Harry. He doesn’t know what to think or what to say. He can’t even remember how he got there and he wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to be there. These last couple of days, he has seen this Harry boy awfully a lot. 

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Harry says softly to Louis. Louis is staring at him and it makes Harry a bit uncomfortable. But he can’t look away from those dazzling blue eyes. 

Louis blinks a couple of times, his mask falling, and Harry averts his gaze. He notices that he isn’t his usual distant self. He seems pretty confused. “I’m not sure,” Louis says. “I don’t think so.”

“You do know you were sleepwalking, right?” Liam interrupts the two. Louis looks away from Harry’s face and lets his eyes rest on Liam. His previous attitude seems to return as he opens his mouth to answer. 

“Of course I do,” he answers coldly, his eyes hard as he looks at Liam. Liam notices the distant and coldness in his eyes and he can’t help but shiver a bit under the burning gaze from the older boy. 

And Louis turns around to walk away before Liam or Harry can say anything else. Liam immediately heads back into their room, but Harry keeps staring at the back of the older boy who is walking away from him. He had seen the coldness is Louis’ eyes as well and it was a bit scary. He had never looked like that before. Distant, that was for sure, but never so cold. Maybe Liam has ever done something to annoy Louis or something? 

Harry shrugs his shoulder. He doesn’t even understand why he cares so much in the first place. Louis is just some strange sixth grader he has nothing to do with. He is not Harry’s friend or anything else. He probably doesn’t even want to be Harry’s friend. He probably just wants that Harry ignores him and leaves him alone. He has never really received a friendly look from Louis. He should have gotten the signals earlier and leave Louis alone. 

“Harry, you coming?” Liam asks from inside the room. Harry replies with a ‘yeah’, turns around and closes the door behind him. He crawls back in his bed and pulls the covers over his head so nothing is visible anymore. All he wants to do now is sleep and he hopes that his previous dreams wouldn’t return. 

Harry is woken up the next morning by an already fully dressed Liam. “Get up, mate. Classes start in twenty minutes and we even hadn’t gotten breakfast,” Liam says. Harry stirs and turns his face to Liam. 

“What?” 

“You have slept through my alarm and I figured that you might need some rest, but now you really have to get up,” Liam says. Harry rubs his eyes and sits up, looking at Liam’s alarm clock. It is eight in the morning and classes start at eight twenty.

Harry absolutely doesn’t feel like getting up, instead he wants to turn around and sleep another two hours or so. But he knows he doesn’t have a choice and he jumps out of bed. It is Wednesday though, so they only have classes in the morning and are free all afternoon. Thank God for Wednesdays, Harry thinks. 

He quickly puts his clothes on, washes his face and then follows Liam downstairs to grab breakfast. He isn’t really hungry, though and he decides to settle with only a cup of tea, while Niall, who sits next him, has his plate full with scrambled eggs, sausages, bacon, white beans and French toast. Harry feels sick to his stomach when he only looks at his plate. Niall has only looked at Harry’s cup of tea with raised eyebrows, but he didn’t comment on it. 

The morning went by to slow for Harry’s liking. His first period was history, one of the courses his hates the most. He couldn’t keep his attention even though his teacher, Mrs Walker, made the lesson pretty interesting.

Then he had math with Carter, which is of course a hell. They got their tests back and Harry’s got a D. He didn’t fail, but it isn’t a really good grade, either. Liam on the other hand had gotten an A. He was proud of course, but after he saw Harry’s D. he didn’t say a thing about the test anymore, which Harry was him thankful for. 

After math he had Spanish together with Niall. Mrs Fransisco had taken his food before class even started, just when they walked in. “No eating in my class, Mr Horan, you know that,” she had hissed towards Niall. Even though Mrs Fransisco looks like a sweet lady, she really isn’t and Niall had immediately given all his food to her. Then she had smiled bittersweet at him. 

Religion course was Harry’s last course of the day. Harry couldn’t have more a lack of interest than during that class. The name of his teacher, ironically is Mr Pope. Harry couldn’t help but laugh it, which earned him irritated looks from his teacher and a warning that if he ever open his mouth again without giving the right answer to his question, that he had detention. 

When he leaves the classroom where he had religion, he is glad that lunch finally arrived. He is starving from not eating anything that morning. He is definitely going to have a big plate now. Maybe he can even try to compete with Niall.

But he is stopped by a girl before he can enter the canteen. He rolls his eyes, because right now is not the best time. He is really craving for food and he doesn’t want to be stopped by someone. Just get on with it quickly, he thinks. 

But then he has a better look at the girl. His thoughts about food are immediately erased when he sees the presence of the girl. She is one gorgeous girl. And Harry has seen her before. In the library, together with Louis. She smiles at him. 

“Hi,” she says with a voice sweet as sugar. He quickly chokes out a ‘hey’. He can’t keep his eyes of her beautiful face. “I saw you in the library the other day,” she continues. “But we haven’t properly introduced ourselves. My name is Eve Cole.”

“Harry Styles,” is the only thing Harry is able to bring out. 

Eve’s smile grows. “Nice to meet you, Harry Styles. I guess I’ll see you around.” And with that she turns around and walks away from him. Harry keeps staring at the spot she stood just seconds ago. 

Until he feels someone smashing his back. “Styles, are you crushing on Cole?” The ever present smirk on Duncan’s face is also this time not missing. He looks at Harry with an devilish look in his eyes. “Just know she is way out of your league, Styles.”

Duncan and his gang walk past Harry, not forgetting to ram their muscular shoulders between Harry’s shoulder blades. Harry groans in pain as he finally starts for the canteen to eat his lunch. Within a few seconds, Harry is able to spot Liam. Niall and Zayn are nowhere to be seen, but Liam is accompanied by his girlfriend and her two friends. 

Harry sets his tray down on the table and looks at Liam with a huge grin on his face. Liam looks up at him and raises an eyebrow as he notices Harry’s grin. “What’s up with you?” he asks. 

“Eve Cole just talked to me,” Harry says, still grinning at Liam. Liam is truly amazed by this statement. A beautiful sixth grader talked to this silly fourth grader out of nowhere? 

“Are you sure you didn’t hallucinate?” Phoebe asks, who was listening to Harry talking to Liam. Her eyebrows are also raised, like Liam’s and she clearly thinks that this is impossible. 

“Of course I didn’t hallucinate –”

“Is she really that gorgeous from close? I’ve heard that she wears tons of makeup and that you can see all the makeup when you’re standing close to her,” April says. What? 

“No, she doesn’t wear tons of makeup,” Harry says defensively. 

“Don’t listen to her, Harry,” Sienna says. “She is gorgeous and she doesn’t need makeup. You’re very lucky. You have no idea how many guys that want to be in your shoes.” Not really. 

Harry zoned out after that until Zayn and Niall arrived at their table. These girls just keep chatting about her beauty and stuff like that. Harry knows that she is extremely gorgeous, but he also thinks she is a really nice girl that is what makes her more interesting than just her beauty. He guesses that he will never really understand girls.


	7. Really Not Jealous

“How is it possible for someone to not like reading a good book?” Eve asks. Her crystal blue eyes are scanning Harry’s face to see if he is joking. But he is dead serious. Most teenagers don’t like reading these days. She looks at him like he is an exception, but she is rather the exception instead of him. 

“Lots of people don’t like reading,” Harry replies, a small smile tugging his lips. She is a little geeky about reading and Harry finds it kind of cute. 

“But isn’t it wonderful to get lost in someone else’s story and forget your own problems?” she asks, smiling as she thinks about all the amazing books she has read so far. It feels amazing to lose yourself in books, doesn’t it. She can’t help but not understand why not everyone likes reading as much as she does. 

“I guess so. But I just can’t seem to get lost in these kind of things,” he replies. He averts his gaze from her beautiful eyes to look at his friends who are playing a game of football. He was playing with them just moments ago, but then he hit his foot and twisted his ankle a bit. He was limping a bit and he took a seat at the side of the field until the pain would go away. In the meantime, Eve had taken a seat next to him. 

“You’re a weird little boy,” she says. Harry looks away from the field and back at her again. 

He raises his eyebrows “Thanks, I guess.” 

Eve’s eyes widen. “Oh I didn’t mean it in a mean way!” she says, hoping she didn’t insult him. “Weird is good. I like weird.”

Harry smiles. “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t feel insulted.” 

“Good.” She smiles as well as she averts her gaze from Harry. She fumbles a little with the hem of her shirt. Harry looks at the field again. She sees him looking. 

“You don’t have to sit here with me. You can go play again,” she says. “I have to go anyway.” She stands up and so does Harry. She slightly waves at him as she walks away and Harry returns to the field.

“So, Eve Cole, huh?” Niall says wiggling his eyebrows at Harry. 

“Shut up.” 

The boys continue their game of football until it is time for dinner. Harry takes a quick shower before he heads down with Liam to eat. It is spaghetti and it has been so long since he last ate spaghetti and he is really looking forward to eat spaghetti. It is the first time he is a little excited about dinner. The food here is not bad, but his mum’s cooked meals are way better. But you can’t really mess up spaghetti, can you? 

“So, Eve Cole, you like her?” Harry jumps from the voice that comes from behind him and he drops his – luckily still empty – tray on the ground. His cheeks turn red and he bents over to grab the tray and then turn around to see who scared him. 

“Bad consciences, Styles?” Louis smirks at him as Harry grabs a plate of spaghetti and puts it on his tray. He doesn’t immediately answer Louis’ questions. He doesn’t find that he has to offer Louis an answer. 

But he answers anyway. “No and why do you care?” he says as nonchalant as possible. He grabs a fork and a knife, a bottle of water and smiles at the lunch lady as he turns around and walks toward a table with enough empty seats for the rest to sit at. 

“Because she is my friend,” Louis replies to Harry’s question. “Because I care about her and I don’t want you to break her heart.” His voice his cold and Harry is almost sure that Louis wants to add an ‘or else…’ 

Harry sits down and Louis takes a seat in front of him. “I’m not going to break her heart. I just talked to her. I don’t even think you can call us friends.” Then Harry smirks. “Are you jealous maybe?” 

Louis immediately loses his hard attitude and turns his face away from Harry. “No,” he mumbles. He really isn’t. At least, not of Harry. He had had his chance with Eve and he didn’t grab it for reasons. And he doesn’t regret his decision so far. 

Harry looks at Louis as his cheeks redden a bit. Is Louis blushing? Is Louis Tomlinson really blushing? Did Harry just make him blush? Harry most likely doesn’t believe Louis when he said that he isn’t jealous. He definitely is, otherwise he wouldn’t blush like that. Well, Harry thinks, he doesn’t have to be jealous. Louis’ chances are much greater with Eve than Harry’s. 

Harry smirks at him again. “You are,” he points out. 

Louis snaps his eyes back at Harry, his look hard again. “And what if I am? Would it bother you?” 

Harry shakes his head, but he is still smirking at Louis. He really is jealous. “No, not at all.” 

Louis growls at Harry as grabs his tray and walks away from Harry. Harry can’t help but chuckle at the older boy. Louis Tomlinson is jealous of him, Harry Styles, because a girl talked to him. Harry bet that Louis can wrap any girl around his finger without having to do much for it. 

“What’s up with him?” Zayn asks as he sets his tray down on the table. Harry looks up at him. He can’t help but smirk again at the thought of Louis being jealous of him. 

“He’s jealous because Eve Cole talked to me,” Harry replies. Zayn laughs as he takes a seat next to Harry. 

“Well, who wouldn’t be jealous of that?” he says, while stuffing a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth. 

“But he is friends with her. His chances are much greater than mine,” Harry says while taking a bite of his own spaghetti. Soon they are joined by Liam and Niall, who has two plates on his tray instead of one, his excuse being that the spaghetti is the best meal they have and that he has to enjoy it. “Besides, the lunch lady loves me.” 

“He probably missed the train,” Zayn replies to Harry’s previous statement. “Just like all the other guys she’s friends with. Just consider yourself lucky, mate.” 

“Who’re yeh talkin’ ‘bout?” Niall asks with his mouth full of food. He, along with Liam, looks at Zayn and Harry. 

“Eve Cole,” Zayn replies. “She talked to Harry.” Zayn smirks at Niall because of the luck Harry had earlier. 

“She must like him I guess?” Niall says, swallowing his bite. Harry nods his head, but he is not really listening anymore. He looks past Niall, his gaze resting on the back of Louis’ head. He is talking to the girl he always sits with at lunch. Harry remembers that Niall once referred to her as Mona. Louis is making big gestures as he talks to her, obviously annoyed over something that Harry doesn’t know. 

Harry can’t help but laugh a bit when he sees that the Mona girl chokes on her drink. Louis pats her back, but he obviously finds it amusing as well as Harry sees that he is chuckling at her. His eyes flicker up for a moment and Harry looks away before he can see that he is staring again. 

The rest of dinner goes by as usual. Niall gets up a couple of times to get a refill of his plate. Zayn put his head in his hands and almost falls asleep after his conversation with Harry. Liam complains about the big amount of Latin homework he still has to do. Harry listens with a half ear, also thinking about the homework that yet has to be done before he goes to bed. 

He groans at the thought of the extra essay of English he has to write due tomorrow. He also has a French test due Friday and new math problems, also for Friday. He also has some history homework for Monday and a test of Spanish. He is really looking forward to all that, but not really. 

He finishes the rest of his plate and heads upstairs together with Liam. Liam helps him with his English essay, even though he has homework to do himself. Harry has never been so thankful before since he got here at Westminster. He asks some questions about French from time to time when Liam is making his own homework, but he never seems to mind. He is always happy when he can help. Harry can’t help but smile at that thought. 

He crawls in his bed when it is past midnight, done with his essay and done with studying for his French test. He is exhausted and falls asleep rather quickly. But nightmares hunt his dreams and he wakes up several times, bathing in cold sweet, tears streaming down his face. He feels awful. All he wants to do is curl up in a ball and sleep for once without having a bad dream to ruins his sleep. 

Louis slams his tray furiously down on the table, the action causing Mona to jump. He sits down with a frustrated look on his face and starts to stab his spaghetti. “It’s already dead, you know,” Mona chuckles. Louis only growls at her. 

“Okay, what’s up?” she asks, taking Louis’ plate away so he won’t stab his spaghetti anymore. Louis looks up at her in frustration and knits his eyebrows together. He demands his spaghetti back, but she only ignores him, still waiting for an answer. 

“Nothing –”

“Oh, come on. You’re frustrated as hell.” He looks up at her again, grabbing his plate and shoving a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth. 

“He thinks I’m jealous of him,” he replies to her previous question, not giving away much. He swallows his bite and looks up at Mona again, to only see her looking at him in confusion. “That stupid fourth grader. Harry Styles,” he adds as he notices that she still doesn’t understand who he is talking about. 

“Why?”

“Because he talked to Eve.” Mona chokes on her drink at the mention of Eve’s name and starts coughing. Louis gets up quickly and pats her back, rubbing circles on the small of her back as she calmed down a bit. He slightly chuckles at her. 

“What makes him think that you are jealous of that? I mean you don’t like her, do you?” She takes another sip of her drink and clears her throat, enjoying the warmth of Louis’ hand on her back that she can feel through the fabric of her shirt. 

“Of course I don’t,” Louis replies as Mona sighs in relief. “She’s just a friend. And he knows we’re just friends.” 

“I don’t see why you’re so worked up about this,” Mona says. Louis takes his hand away from her back and sits back in his previous spot. He grabs his fork again and takes a new bite of his now almost cold spaghetti. 

“To be honest, neither do I.”


	8. He Is A Freaking Weirdo

“Do you know any good books?” Louis looks up from his book with a confused look on his face. He smirks when he sees that Harry is standing in front of him, asking him for advice on books. Harry can’t help but feel a bit ashamed. Especially after that he told him he was jealous of him. He started to doubt, though. Eve would chose Louis over Harry anytime. 

“I know a lot of good books,” Louis replies, smirk still present on his face. He closes the book he was reading before Harry interrupted him, marking the page, and gets up so he is slightly taller than the younger boy. “What exactly do you need?” 

“Just a book,” Harry says. “I have to read one for English.” Miss Clearwater had given her class the task to read a book and to answer a couple of questions about it. She had given them a list of books they could choose of. Most of the pupils had groaned. Everyone hates reading. Buy Harry thought about what Eve had told him, how you can escape your own problems and get lost in someone else’s story while you read. 

“Do you have a list or anything?” Louis asks him, his eyebrows raised. Harry nods his head and takes the crumbled paper that is supposed to be his booklist out of the pocket of his trousers. Louis looks at it, biting his bottom lip. 

Harry can’t help but smile a little at the cute action. He looks at Louis’ face, studying his features intently. His sandy brown hair falls slightly in front of his half-closed greenish blue eyes. His pearly white teeth are visible, nibbling on his small pink lips. Harry’s eyes glide down, looking at Louis’ hands. Hands with long, small finger that grab tightly onto the piece of paper Harry has given him. 

Louis looks up, feeling Harry’s stare burning on his face. He chuckles at the busted look on his face. Harry was checking him out. Louis smiles. He smiles at the thought of Harry checking him out. He doesn’t understand why likes the thought of that. He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t confront Harry with it, just to see a blush creeping up his face. But he simply doesn’t. 

“There are a few good ones,” Louis says, pointing at a couple of names that Harry is unfamiliar with. He hands the list back to Harry. “This list is shit, though. Not a lot of good books are on it.”

Harry shrugs his shoulders as he takes the list back from Louis. His fingers brush slightly against his. A small shiver runs down Harry’s spine. He looks up to be met with Louis’ dazzling beautiful blue eyes as he lets his arms fall to his sides. Did Louis feel the same? And why did Harry feel it in this first place? It is not like Louis’ hands were cold or anything. 

“Uh,” Harry starts, still a little caught off guard. “Um, do you know where I can find any of these books?” Harry doesn’t know any of these books and even less where he can find them. 

“This is a library, Harry. This is where you find books,” Louis says sarcastically, his previous smirk returning to his face. He just can’t help it. Stupid questions have to be answered with sarcastic answers. 

“You know what I mean.”

“Look over there,” Louis replies, pointing with his finger to an aisle a bit further than the one they are currently in. “You should find a couple of them over there. Give a call when you don’t find anything.” 

“Lou, I don’t find anything,” Harry says, a pouting at Louis like a little baby. He is not really familiar with libraries. He is been only once or twice to the one in Holmes Chapel and only when he really needed to. Or his mum would go and get them for him.

Louis sighs and rolls his eyes, but chuckles at the cute little pout. "Do I really need to hold your hand to help you find a damn book?" Harry only grins. "You are such a library virgin, mate," Louis says, shaking his head.

Harry chuckles. He isn't quite sure if it is something to be proud of if you are not a library virgin. Reading these days is really not that cool, but Louis makes it look like it is the coolest thing a teenager has ever done, instead of partying or anything. Louis doesn't really look like a partier, but then again Louis isn't really what he looks like.

"Reading isn't really cool, you know," Harry shoots back, his grin changing into a smirk as he sees Louis' expression changing.

"And you think you are?" Louis bites back. Harry's smirk disappears. Louis is seriously offended by his statement? He was just joking, he didn't mean to upset Louis or anything. But Louis is obviously not too pleased.

"If you don't appreciate the help, then just say so," Louis says harshly before turning around and starting to walk away. Harry wants to stop him, tell him that he didn't mean it that way, but seriously, it are just books!

Harry shakes his head as he starts to look after the books he needs. He tries to forget his earlier conversation with Louis, but really he can't. He doesn't understand why Louis suddenly got so angry? What Harry said wasn't even that mean and he thought that Louis could take a little more than that.

What Harry doesn't understand as well is why he cares so much. Why he cares so much of what Louis thinks about him and that he doesn't want Louis to be angry at him. He just wants them to be good. Maybe not even real friends, but he doesn't want Louis to hate him. Harry bets that Louis can be pretty mean.

A small smile spreads across his lips as he finds a one of the books his been looking for. He looks at the cover of _The Kite Runner_. It is a picture of a little Pakistani boy holding a red kite, half hiding behind it. The book is about two Pakistani boys who live together, one as a servant the other as "master", but they become good friends. But the master sees how the servant is raped and runs away instead of helping him.

Harry grabs the book and starts for the exit of the library. He sees Louis sitting on the ground, reading a book, while he passes by, but he doesn't stop to say anything. Louis doesn't even look in Harry's direction and Harry just keeps on walking towards the exit.

He runs upstairs in a record breaking speed and slams the door shut behind him as he walks in the room. But the room is empty, Liam isn't there. Harry furrows his eyebrows. He wonders where Liam could be. Maybe he is in the Niall's room or Zayn's? Or do they sleep in the same room? Harry realizes that he doesn't know and that he never has been in their room. They have probably been in his, but that was probably before he arrived. 

“Where’s Harry?” Niall asks as Liam enters his and Zayn’s room. Their room reflect their personalities perfectly. Although everyone has the same bed, Zayn’s bed looks more comfortable than any other in the building. It’s full of soft pillows with very comfy covers. The floor of Niall’s part of the room is covered with empty cans of soda, empty bags of crisps and empty boxes of Nando’s.

Liam shrugs his shoulder. “I think he said he went to library. I’m not too sure, though,” he says as his picks up some empty boxes and puts them in the trash can. Niall rolls his eyes at the action. It is so typical Liam to clean some else’s mess. He wants to kick against the trash can so it will tumble over and the contents will fall on the floor. But he knows he can’t do that. So he just stares at Liam as grabs some more stuff the put it in the trash can and takes a seat on Niall’s unmade bed. 

“Is he becoming a bookworm?” Niall asks, his eyebrows raised. He can’t recall that Harry likes reading books. He thought actually that he hated them. Maybe Eve talked him into reading. Niall has seen her with a book quite a few times. Now that Harry likes Eve he might try it as well? That really doesn’t make sense. 

“Hopefully not,” Zayn says. “Imagine him being a geek.” And they all did. And to be honest, I didn’t look too good. Harry is a cheeky guy who flirts with girls, not some geek who reads books to pass his spare time. 

“Talking about geeks,” Zayn continues. “He talks to Louis Tomlinson.” He widens his eyes at the two other boys who look at him with a confused look. They don’t see that it is weird for a fourth grader to talk to Louis Tomlinson?

“What’s wrong with that?” Liam asks. He doesn’t see where Zayn is heading. He doesn’t think it’s weird at all. Harry also talks to Eve, she is also a sixth grader. Someone out of lot of guys their league although it doesn’t seem like she is out of Harry’s league. Liam frowns a bit at that thought. 

“Tomlinson barely talks to his own friends, let alone to some stupid fourth grader,” Zayn points out. He has seen them a lot on his own. Or he doesn’t say too much when he hangs out with the bullies of the sixth grade. Zayn doesn’t even understand why he hangs out with them, they are all bubble heads. But you know whatever, it is his own choice. 

“Harry is not stupid!” Niall says, shooting a dirty glare at Zayn. How can he say something like that? 

“That’s beside the point.” 

“Well, Tomlinson is a pretty weird guy,” Liam says. They all have to agree to that statement. You won’t easily find a second Louis Tomlinson. He is definitely one of a kind. People mostly don’t know if they like him or not, because at one point he can be really friendly and kind and then suddenly his mood snaps and he becomes angry at you or is really distant.

“He does weird stuff,” Zayn agrees. 

“Harry and I caught him sleepwalking through our corridor once,” Liam says, remembering that night. “When he woke up he was first confused, like every normal guy would be, and then he had this hard attitude and just walked away.” He gets chills again as he thinks back at the way Louis had looked at him. His eyes were so cold that chills had run down his spine. 

“Sleepwalking is not very uncommon. It happens more than you would think,” Niall says wisely. “But it is very typical that someone like Tomlinson would do it.” 

They all agree that Louis Tomlinson is a weird guy once more and then Liam decides that he better goes back to his room, since it is almost past curfew. He doesn’t want to get caught on the corridor then, because it can have horrible consequences. He doesn’t feel like getting detention or anything for that matter. 

They say their goodbyes and Liam walks quickly back to his room to find Harry lying on his own bed with a book in his hand. Liam raises his eyebrows. Harry actually went to the library to get a book and read? He has never seen Harry read a book for his pleasure and he didn’t expect it to happen any time soon either. 

Harry looks up when Liam enters the room, also his eyebrows raised. “Where have you been?” he asks like a mother would ask her son when he is home too late. Liam can’t help but laugh a little at Harry’s tone. 

“I was just at Niall and Zayn’s,” he says and then smirks. You have to know, Liam rarely smirks. “Were you worried about me?” 

Harry closes his book and sits up. Liam takes a quick peek at the book he is reading. _The Kite Runner_? That is a pretty intense book. Harry is reading something like that? Maybe Harry is not reading it for his pleasure. Maybe it is a task for English or something? That makes much more sense than Harry reading for his pleasure. 

“Not really,” Harry replies Liam’s previous question. “I was just bored. Now I had to read this boring book.” Harry had to be honest. The book wasn’t really boring, it was actually a pretty good one. But he still rather spends time with Liam than reading books. 

Liam nods his head in understanding. Harry was absolutely not reading for his pleasure. He has to read. Probably for an English task. Liam is always right, you know. Well, not always, but a lot. His guesses are most of the time the right guesses, in contrast to Zayn and Niall’s guesses. They are really not good at guessing. 

“Well, I’m here now. You can spend time with me,” Liam says, spreading his arms at Harry. Harry laughs. It feels like his lover is back. Which is _not_ the case, by the way.


	9. Sorry, Mate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't hurt to let me know what you think, right?

“So did you find the right book?”

Harry jumps a bit at hearing the voice and drops his knife in his plate with a clattering sound. He is sitting at a table in the canteen at eight in the morning alone, eating his breakfast and waiting for the rest to show up. Well, actually he is only waiting for Liam who forgot his books upstairs. Niall and Zayn are still in bed, since they start a period later.

Harry looks up from his plate to be met with a pair of beautiful greenish blue eyes that belong to a certain sixth grader. He takes a seat in front of Harry and shoves Liam’s tray aside to put his own down. Harry looks at him in surprise. Louis ran away from him, being pretty pissed off and now he is sitting in front of Harry like nothing happened. Harry can’t wrap his head around it.

But he answers Louis’ question anyway. “Yeah, I found something,” he says, still staring at Louis in surprise. There is definitely something off about this boy. How can he have such a sudden mood changes? Harry is scared that he will say something that pisses Louis off again, and to be honest, he actually doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to be on bad terms with Louis.

Louis’ eyebrows raise as a smile appears on his face. Harry realizes that he never has seen Louis smile before. He has seen him grinning and smirking, but not a genuine smile. And Harry can’t help but think that Louis has a really beautiful smile. Harry frowns. Is that weird to think that?

“Which one?” Louis asks, snapping Harry out of his trance. He sees that the smile has already disappeared. Harry wants to say something to make it return but he only answers Louis’ question.

“ _The Kite Runner_.”

“Hmm, good choice,” Louis says while grabbing his French toast and stuffing it in his mouth. Harry watches him for a while as Louis is chewing on his food. His eyes aren’t on Harry, though, but somewhere past his head. Harry doesn’t turn around to look. He only wants to see Louis’ face. Does he?

“Got the book –” Liam cuts himself off when he sees Louis Tomlinson sitting in his chair, across from Harry and actually talking to him. Liam immediately remembers his conversation with Zayn and Niall from last night and what Zayn said: “ _Tomlinson barely talks to his own friends, let alone to some stupid fourth grader._ ” and then the cold gaze he gave him after his sleepwalking.

“What are you doing here?” Liam asks. It is kind of obvious, he is eating his breakfast and talking to Harry, but he wants to know _why_. Zayn is right, it is indeed weird that Louis talks to Harry.

Louis turns his head to Liam and smirk at him. His eyes aren’t cold or distant this time, it is more like he is mocking Liam by talking to Harry. “Just chatting with my buddy here,” he answers, the smirk still on his face.

Liam rolls his eyes at Louis reply. “Whatever,” he says. “Let’s go, Harry. We’re going to be late for math.”

Much to his surprise Harry shakes his head. “I’m not finished yet. Go ahead, I’ll come later.”

Liam only shrugs his shoulders and grabs his tray that Louis had shoved away. He brushes against Louis’ arm and Louis gives him a dirty glare. Then Liam walks away without saying another word.

“He doesn’t like me,” Louis says, still smirking at Liam who is walking away from them. Then he turns his head to look at Harry. Harry’s eyes are bit wide at how weirdly Liam reacted to Louis. They really aren’t the best of friends and Harry still thinks that something in the past has happened to them or something.

“Why?”

Louis looks at Harry in confusion. He doesn’t really understand Harry’s question. Why what? Why Liam doesn’t like him? Like he knows. He doesn’t even know that guy, let alone how he would know why doesn’t like him. Some people think Louis is out of his mind, maybe he does, too?

“I can’t read minds,” Louis replies. “You should ask him. I mean, I didn’t do anything to him,” he adds as he sees Harry’s raised eyebrows. He never talked to Liam before and doesn’t intend to talk to him ever again. If you this actually can call a conversation.

“Alright,” Harry says, looking at his watch, “I think I should get going if I don’t want to be too late.” Louis pulls a face. He is never really been on time in class and he hates people who always follow the rules. He didn’t think Harry would be one

Harry pulls a face as well. “I’ve got Carter,” he says like it explains it all. Louis mouth forms O shape and he actually understands why Harry doesn’t want to be too late. He never wanted too late when he had Carter as well.

Harry grabs his tray and gets up as Louis surprises him again. “I’ll walk with you,” he says as he also grabs his tray and follows Harry. “My class is next to yours, so why not?” he explains as he sees Harry’s face full of surprise.

Harry feels like a girl who gets walked to her door after her first date with a guy as he walks together with Louis towards his classroom. It is weird, because he is not a girl and he hasn’t just been on his first date with Louis. Because that is ridiculous. He will never go on a date with Louis. What is he even thinking?

“Since when do you hang out with Louis Tomlinson,” Liam hisses in Harry’s ear as he takes a seat next to him. Harry looks at his friend and doesn’t understand his frustrations towards Louis.

“I don’t know, actually,” Harry says thinking about the first time he talked to Louis. “I asked him for help in the library once,” he says thinking about the essay he had to write for English. He had gotten an B for that, actually. All thanks to the books Louis had pointed out for him.

“Well, that’s really cool,” Liam says sarcastically. He turns away from Harry and to the blackboard, actually trying to listen to what Carter is saying. Who wants to listen to Carter? Exactly, no one.

“What is your problem with Louis?” Harry asks, trying to get Liam’s attention again. Liam rolls his eyes as he looks at Harry again, still half listening to Carter.

“Hanging out with Tomlinson is equal to asking for problems,” Liam says. Now it is Harry’s turn to roll his eyes. He hasn’t gotten any problems since he first started talking to Louis. Liam is overreacting and blowing everything out of proportion.

The rest of the course goes by without the two saying a word. In fact, that is actually how the rest of the day goes by. Niall and Zayn don’t understand what is going on between the two, but neither one of them wants to talk about it, so they just drop the subject. They will know eventually.

His fight with Liam is affecting Harry’s whole day. He barely says something to Niall and Zayn as well and he walks around with a long face. He doesn’t want to be on bad terms with Louis, but he definitely doesn’t want to be on bad terms with Liam, either. He just doesn’t understand why Liam is acting this way towards Louis, Louis hasn’t done anything wrong.

“What’s up with the long face?” Harry jumps. Why is everyone creeping on him and making him jump like this? He looks up to be met with a pair of stunning crystal blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. Eve Cole is standing in front of him.

“You’re friends with Louis Tomlinson, right?” Harry asks Eve. Maybe she can prove to Liam that Louis isn’t that much of a problem causer.

“Yeah,” she hesitantly nods her head, not knowing where he is heading. She doesn’t want to talk about Louis with him.

“My friend Liam thinks that hanging out with Louis equals problems,” he says. “That is not true, is it?”

Eve can’t help but laugh. She will have to disappoint him. “Of course means hanging out with Louis getting in trouble. He might look innocent and all, but Louis is one hell of a troublemaker.”

Harry’s eyes widen. He didn’t see that one coming. Eve sees his expression and laughs again. “But that doesn’t mean that he isn’t a sweetheart.”

Harry laughs at her word choice. Louis is a sweetheart. He can’t really imagine that, to be honest. Maybe he is only a sweetheart towards girls. Harry hasn’t seen much of sweetheart in Louis yet.

“You shouldn’t worry about Louis,” Eve says. “Get him out of your mind.” She is desperately trying to change the subject. She wants Louis to be the last person on her thoughts while she talks to Harry. Harry seems like a really sweet guy and she doesn’t want to miss her chance like she had with Louis.

Harry knows she is right. He should get Louis out of his mind. He doesn’t know why his mind is so occupied with Louis in the first place. He doesn’t understand why he is the reason he has a fight with Liam. But he can’t help it.

“I’m reading a book,” Harry says to change to subject. He knows Eve wants to. And Eve is interested in books, so that must be the right subject, isn’t it?

Eve raises her eyebrows and looks at Harry in surprise. “Really?” she asks. Harry nods his head. “Which one?”

“ _The Kite Runner_. But actually it is because I have to,” he admits. Eve smiles. She could have expected it and she doesn’t mind. “But I didn’t mind when Miss Clearwater announced that we had to read. That is your fault.” Eve laughs.

“My fault? I don’t think it’s something bad,” she smiles a beautiful smile at Harry and he feels his heart melt a little. Yes, his heart melts a little. Yes, she is gorgeous and really sweet, but he doesn’t think he likes her in a romantic way. He likes her as a friend, to talk to. He doesn’t have the urge to kiss her or something.

And to be honest, he finds it a little weird. She is the sort of girl that would make his heart beat faster and gets his palms sweaty. But she doesn’t. And it worries him a little. Which girl would make his heart beat faster if Eve doesn’t?

“I think I shout get going,” Eve says while grabbing her stuff and getting up. “I need to go to the library.” She winks at him. But before she runs away she gives him a quick kiss on his cheek. Harry feels a blush creeping up his face, but his heart doesn’t beat faster because of the contact.

Zayn and Niall run up to him as Eve has disappeared out of sight. “Whoo!” they both scream at him, each with a big grin on their faces. Harry mirrors their grins, but it quickly disappears when he sees Liam trailing behind them like a lost puppy. Harry wants to tell him he is sorry, but Liam barely looks at him.

“Food!” Niall exclaims when they are done with jumping around Harry just because he got a simple kiss on the cheek from Eve. He and Zayn run towards the canteen, leaving Harry and Liam behind.

“Five year old,” Liam says. Harry laughs and when he looks at Liam he sees that there is also a small smile spread across his face. He turns his head when notices Harry look and sighs.

“I’m sorry about earlier today. It’s stupid to fight about it. I can’t stop with who you’re hanging out,” he says and Harry smiles.

“It’s okay, mate. Let’s go get food.” Liam grins.


	10. Holidays In Hell

“Are you sure you don’t want to go home?” Liam asks as he puts the last of his shirts in his suitcase. He is able to close the suitcase after sitting on it. Harry doesn’t understand why Liam has so many clothes if they have to wear an uniform most of the time. “You haven’t seen your parents in a whole semester.” 

“Yeah, and it doesn’t hurt to add another semester,” Harry replies as he looks at Liam packing to go home. Tomorrow is the first day of winter break. A majority of the school is going home to celebrate the holidays. The only plus side of going to a boarding school for Harry is that he doesn’t have to see his parents. 

“I don’t get why you don’t want to see your parents?” Liam says as he finally manages to close his suitcase. He takes a seat on his bed and looks at Harry, furrowing his eyebrows together. Liam is the kind of guy that is always happy to go home to see his family. Not saying that he is a mommy’s boy, but he enjoys the company of his family. 

“I’ve seen them the first sixteen years of my life. I’m not going to die to see them for a while,” Harry says, rolling his eyes at Liam. That is not really the case, but rather doesn’t share his actual reasons with Liam. He knows Liam is his friend and he trusts him and all that shit, but that is the one thing he wants to keep for himself. Liam might look differently at him after sharing that. 

“But you’re going to miss the holidays,” Liam says, absolutely not understanding why Harry doesn’t want to go home. How can he not celebrate Christmas with his family? Everybody wants to be with his family on Christmas, right? Harry isn’t making sense at all for the moment. 

“I’m not going to miss them,” Harry replies with another roll of his eyes. He doesn’t understand why Liam thinks it is so important to celebrate the holidays with his family. Harry finds it a stupid tradition that everyone thinks that you have to be with your family during the holidays. “I’m going to celebrate here.” 

“Whatever.” Liam shrugs his shoulders and understands it is impossible to knock some sense into Harry. He grabs his suitcase, pulling it off his bed and putting it next to the door so that he only has to grab up it to leave tomorrow morning. 

Harry gets up as well and together they walk downstairs to have their last dinner before the winter break. 

“You are not really wanted at home, are you?” Kenneth says, looking at Louis with a smirk on his face. Louis sits on Kenneth’s bed with his back pressed up against the wall, his smirk mirroring Kenneth’s. 

“It’s more like I don’t want home,” Louis replies. Kenneth chuckles at Louis. Louis never goes home during the winter breaks. He doesn’t go home during any of the breaks, actually. Only summer break, because then you aren’t allowed to stay in school. 

“How can you miss all the amazing food?” a large built guy named Tuck asks Louis. He blinks dumbly with eyes, looking at Louis. Louis doesn’t like Tuck at all. He is literally dumbest person Louis has ever known. His interest are food, sleeping and working out and he doesn’t get sarcasm. 

“My mum isn’t a really amazing cook,” Louis states simply. He lets his gaze rest on Tuck and the dislike is obviously present in his eyes, but Tuck doesn’t see it. 

“I just don’t get how you can miss Christmas with your family for six years straight,” Jonah says. He is a guy that Louis can appreciate a lot more than Tuck. He is not really tall and pretty slender. But rather a nice boy and even though he doesn’t want to admit it, he is a really mommy’s boy. He is always excited when the breaks arrive. 

“Not so hard,” Louis replies, looking at the small boy. “You should try it sometime.” Jonah rolls his eyes at Louis. 

“Why?” Louis turns his head to look at Frances. Frances could be Tuck’s twin. Large built, extremely dumb and doesn’t understand sarcasm. Louis has the urge to roll his eyes at the guy, but doesn’t. The guy can’t help that he is so dumb. But he doesn’t answer, though. 

A soft knock on the door makes all four of their heads turn. A girl with light brown hair opens the door and looks quiet nervously at the four boys inside the room. Louis immediately gets up the moments he sees her head popping around the door frame. 

“Can I borrow Louis for sec?” Eve asks, her cheeks turning a slight red. She is not a big fan of Kenneth and his gang, especially when they try to hit on her. She doesn’t understand why Louis hangs out with them in the first place. 

“Sure,” Kenneth says. “And some more.” He wiggles seductively with his eyebrows. Eve’s face turns even more red. Louis rolls his eyes, grabbing Eve’s arm and dragging her outside with him. A look of relief appears on her face when they are outside the room. 

“What’s up?” 

Eve takes a deep breath before she answers them. “I’m going home during the holidays. My grandpa passed away and they want me to be home,” she says as she watches Louis’ expression changing. “I’m sorry. I can’t stay here now.” 

Louis understands that she has to go home, he is not heartless. But usually she doesn’t mind staying at school with him during the holidays. She is the only one who has done that for him so far. Obviously Kenneth and his gang never stay. They hate this place or they miss their mommy’s too much. Exact same thing with Mona. She is a real mother’s child and she never stays at school. 

Eve never minded staying at school with Louis. They had their own little Christmas party and they always had a good time. They also celebrated Louis’ birthday, which is on Christmas’ eve. He had always that huge smile on his face when she gives him his presents. He won’t admit it, but he loves getting presents. 

“I’m sorry,” Eve says again, feeling like she let him down. She knows that he understands, but at the same time she feels guilty for leaving him behind. She has spent the previous five years celebrating it with him and it will be such a big difference without him. And then the loss of her granddad. It will probably be one big crying fest. She is really looking forward to it. Not…

“It’s okay,” Louis says as he wraps he arms around her. “I understand.” She lets her head rest onto his chest and closes her eyes. She inhales his scent and can’t help but think he smells really good. Louis’ hands rubs small circles on her back to comfort and she likes the contact way too much. 

“There probably will be someone else to hang out with,” Eve says as she pulls back, looking Louis in the eye. She can’t help but feel a little sad for him. She really doesn’t want to leave him behind. She knows he is a grown boy and can take care of himself. She feels like she is thinking about leaving her son behind for the first time. 

“Who?” Louis says, slightly raising his eyebrows. Kenneth, Jonah, Tuck and Frances are going home. Even though he rather spends his birthday and Christmas alone then with Tuck and Frances. Mona is also going home, she is way too much of a mommy’s girl to not go home during the holidays. 

“I know Harry Styles is staying at school,” Eve says, a small smile appearing on her face. She is starting to take a liking in Harry and she knows that he kind of gets along with Louis as well. At least that is what she thinks. She has seen them together, so it must be, right? 

“How do you know that?” Louis asks, smirking at her. She turns slightly red and averts her gaze from Louis’ eyes. 

“Because he told me,” she says shyly. 

Louis smirks to himself. Harry Styles is staying at school? Without his friends? He hasn’t seen one of the people he hangs out staying at school during the holidays in six years he has been here. So he is going to be all alone? So he will also need someone to accompany him? Harry Styles could be the solution to this “problem”.

“Louis, why are smirking like that?” Eve asks, interrupting his train of thoughts. “It’s kind of creepy.” 

Louis playfully hits her arm. She laughs and drags him downstairs with her. It is time for dinner and she is starving. Louis usually always eats with Mona. Eve likes to think that she has a little crush on Louis. Or a big one, doesn’t matter. But Mona is nowhere in sight and Eve takes the opportunity to eat with Louis. 

“You don’t want to sit with your friends?” Louis asks as he and Eve take a seat at a yet empty table. “I can wait for Mona.” 

“Well, since I’m not going to see you during the holidays I want to spent some more time with you before I leave. You mind?” Eve replies, raising her eyebrows. Louis chuckles at her actions and shakes his head. 

“Mona is not going to like this. She is a little bit jealous of you. She thinks you and I…” he points with his finger between the both of them. “Are dating –”

“Oh God, no!” 

Louis laughs at her reaction and then lets a cute little pout appear on his face. “You don’t want to date me?” he asks, looking with sad eyes at her. 

Eve hits his arm again and laughs, but she shakes her head. “No, I do not want to date you,” she says. “But I think Mona would want to.” 

Louis pulls a face and Eve can’t help but laugh again. “Mona is a nice girl and all, but I don’t look at her that way. I don’t like like her.”

“Sure,” Eve says, wiggling her eyebrows at Louis. “Then who do you like.” 

“No one,” Louis says, a little bit too quickly. Eve raises her eyebrows at him. She can’t believe that there isn’t one girl on Louis’ mind. Isn’t that almost impossible? There must be someone who he finds at least attractive?

“I don’t believe you,” Eve replies, her eyebrows still raised. She places her chin on her folded hands and looks him dead in the eye. Louis returns the her hard stare without blushing or looking away. She knows how good he is at this, but she isn’t going to back down. 

“What makes you think I’m lying?” Louis asks, not breaking their stare. Eve’s gaze is getting glassy and she blinks a couple of times with her eyes, but she doesn’t look away from him. She does see the coldness in Louis’ eyes. She knows it is not directed toward her, because when he stares like that, the coldness always appears in his eyes, but she can’t help but shiver a bit. 

“Because I know you better than you think.” She tries to suppresses the shivers, but she can’t. She can’t believe that Louis has that kind of affect on her. She knows Louis, he sweet and kind, even though he doesn’t always show it. He doesn’t have a cold personality, even though his eyes are showing it. He is really funny and has got too much energy. He doesn’t walk around like that in school, but that is just the kind of person he is. 

“But you’re wrong on this one.” Louis still looks her dead in the eye, but he has seen her shiver. He likes to think that it is because it is a little cold in the canteen and she is only wearing a sleeveless shirt and not because of the look in his eyes. 

“Hey Louis.”

Louis jumps a little, immediately looking away from Eve’s stare and up to the curly haired boy standing next to their table with a tray in his hands. He has a cheeky grin on his face and his green eyes are sparkling brightly. Louis mumbles a quiet “Hi Harry,” but doesn’t really look at him. 

“I’ve heard you’re also staying at school during the holidays?” Harry asks. He turns his head to look at Eve and flashes her a bright smile, which she returns with a slight blush on her cheeks. 

“Yeah, I am.” 

“Cool. Well, I’ll see you around.” Then he turns around and walks towards the table where his friends are eating their dinner. Eve looks at Louis and sees that there is also a blush on his cheeks. She chuckles to herself. She knows she isn’t wrong on this one.


	11. Mr. Nobody

The first day of winter break, Harry wakes up to an empty room. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and sits up to see what time it is. But the alarm clock on Liam’s nightstand has disappeared. Harry forrows his eyebrows. Then he looks at Liam’s bed. It is empty and neatly made up like no one ever slept in it. But Harry knows that Liam was there last night. Then he looks at the door. Liam’s suitcase is gone as well and suddenly realization hits Harry. Liam has gone home. 

Harry groans and grabs his phone from underneath his pillow to look what time it is. Ten thirty. It is the longest he has slept since he arrived in this shit hole. Sorry for the word choice, but this is the best way to discribe this place. He hopes there is still breakfast. Normally breakfast closes at eight twenty because classes start at that time. In the weekends breakfast ends at ten. 

Much to his discontent, Harry rolls out of bed. He quickly dresses in a white v-neck and beige trousers and heads down, hoping he will still be able to get something in his stomach. And he is. With a smile he grabs a tray and gets in line to get his breakfast. 

The canteen is almost empty, but that might be because he is pretty late already. But there are certainly not more than twenty people sitting in the room, while normally there are about four hundred people in here. 

Harry sees a group of people he knows from several classes he has with them, but changes direction when he spots Louis sitting. Louis is sitting alone with – surprise, surprise – a book in his hands. He slowly chews on his food while he concentrates on the story. 

He jumps a little as Harry sets his tray down on the table. He grins at him. “Good morning.” 

Louis looks at Harry with furrowed eyebrows, but returns the ‘good morning’. Harry then takes a seat opposite of Louis and reads the title of the book. The Devil To Pay. Harry has never heard of the book, but it looks old and worn out. Louis sure has a taste in old books, Harry thinks. 

“So, what are you up to?” Harry asks as he takes his eyes off of the book and looks at Louis’ face. Louis’ eyes look up, also away from the book. He closes it and then shrugs his shoulders. He isn’t up to anything for the moment. 

“I don’t know, relaxing a bit, I guess?” It came out more as a question than a statement. Harry nods his head, agreeing with Louis. 

“Relaxing seems cool.” Harry really could use some relaxing after a month of this exhausting boarding school. He is never been so exhausted from just going to school. He had to get up early as well when he went to his old school and he had also homework, but it wasn’t quite like this. This is more… well, exhausting. 

“We could watch a movie,” Louis says. Harry nods his head again. But then he realizes how the hell are they going to watch a movie? Harry doubts that Louis has a TV in his room. That wouldn’t be quite fair. But even though he wonders, he doesn’t ask any questions. Louis has surprised him before. 

So after breakfast the two lads head up the stairs to the third floor. Harry notices that Louis’ room is right above his. There is only one name on the name tag – Louis’ – and Harry figures that Louis doesn’t have a roommate. 

When Louis’ open his door Harry has immediately the urge to clean. He has never seen a bigger mess in his life before. Different piles of clothes, little piece of papers, books and other stuff are shattered around the room. His desk is one big mess of pens, books and sheets of paper and the not used bed is also full of clothes. 

Harry himself is one big cleaning freak and cleans his room as much as possible. Liam is also a very clean person, so their room is never a mess. Even if one of them would have been a messy person, it wouldn’t look quite like this. 

Louis notices the mess as well. “Sorry, I haven’t cleaned in a while,” he says as he steps over some clothes. He grabs them and throws them with the rest of his clothes on the not used bed. Harry rolls his eyes. 

“That’s not how you clean,” he says, looking at the clothes on the other bed. 

Louis smirks at him. “Don’t tell me how to clean.” 

Harry only shrugs his shoulders as Louis takes a seat on his bed and grabs a laptop from underneath some clothes. So that’s how they are going to watch a movie. Clever. Louis was able to sneak in a laptop. 

Louis looks up at Harry as he still hasn’t moved. He pats the spot next to him as Harry steps over some clothes and takes a seat next to him. Louis holds up three cases of DVD’s. _Grease, Mr. Nobody_ and _Into The Wild_. Harry only knows _Grease_ , never heard of the other two. 

So he randomly points at the red DVD case of _Mr. Nobody_. “Good choice,” Louis says as he puts the DVD in the computer. He shifts on the bed, so his back is pressed up against the wall and his feet can rest on his bed, the laptop on his lap. Harry sits back as well, resting his head against the wall. 

They are watching the movie for only a few minutes and Harry is already confused. The man that plays the main character seems to have several different lives. At some point he is 120 years old and then he is a nine year old boy again. 

“I don’t get it,” Harry whispers after a few minutes. He doesn’t turn his head away from the screen as he speaks so he won’t miss anything. If he misses anything it will probably be even more confusing than it already is. 

“Just watch. You’ll get it by the end of the movie.” Louis does turn his head, his breath hot in Harry’s neck as he talks. It sends shivers down his spine. He hadn’t realized that Louis is sitting so close to him. 

The rest of the movie is a blur. Harry can’t concentrate on it anymore. The left side of his body is touching Louis’ and his skin is tingling under the contact. He also notices that Louis’ arms and face are pretty tan for this period of the year. 

“I still don’t get it,” Harry says as he sees that the credits are rolling over the screen. He turns his head to look at Louis, but their faces are suddenly extremely close. But Louis doesn’t even look at him and leans over to take his laptop off of his lap and put it on the ground. 

“It’s basically about making choices,” Louis explains. “It shows how different your life could be if you make different choices. Even really small ones.” He chuckles at Harry as he sees that his eyebrows are still furrowed. 

“That’s a weird subject for a movie.” 

Louis smiles. Some people just don’t understand it. Even though he thinks that Harry is trying to understand it. “That’s what makes it interesting,” he says. And Harry can only nod his head in agreement. 

They sit in silence for a while. Harry suddenly wonders why Louis stays at school during the winter break. Wouldn’t he rather spend his holidays with his family like everyone else seems to want to do. He wants to ask, but he is scared that it might be a touchy subject and that Louis will snap in one of his mood changes and get angry at Harry. He doesn’t want to try and push Louis’ buttons. 

“Why did you come here?” Louis suddenly asks Harry. He looks up from the hem of his shirt, where he was fumbling with moments ago, and into Harry’s emerald eyes. “I mean, why did you come to Westminster after four years?” 

Harry doesn’t really know if he wants to answer that question. It is nothing he likes to think back at. But he knows he would have to at some point. He is actually surprised that no one ever asked him before. 

He looks away from Louis’ face as he mumbles: “I got expelled from my old school.” He pauses for a second to look up and then look down again. “My mum thought it would be a good punishment to send me to a boarding school.” 

“Is that why you don’t want to go home? Because your mum send you to a boarding school?” Harry is actually taken by surprise when Louis asks _that_ question. He thought Louis would ask him why got expelled or something like that. 

“Not, exactly,” Harry says, trying to keep the real information to himself. “I mean, it played a part in it, but not exactly.” 

Louis knows Harry is desperately trying to keep the facts to himself, but that just makes him more curious. The reason that Harry Styles is here is not as simple as you might think, that much is clear to Louis. He just wants to know. 

“Then what is the real reason?” Louis asks, not sure if Harry is going to answer. 

Harry is debating on whether he can tell Louis or not. He doesn’t know if he really trusts Louis. He is such a strange guy, you can’t seem to figure him out by just looking at him. Harry hasn’t even completely figured him out after all this time. It is not like they are extremely close, but he thought he would know Louis a little by now. 

“They don’t believe me when I tell the truth.” That is it. He is not going to give away more. Louis should try and figure it out by himself. He seems smart enough. 

“What is your reason?” Harry asks. He figured if Louis can ask, then why wouldn’t he? He won’t snap into an angry mood right now, would he?

“I just can’t stand to be around my family,” Louis says. Their eyes meet for a brief second before they both look away. Harry isn’t really sure if Louis is telling the full truth, but he won’t push it. After all, Louis didn’t push it either after Harry’s mysterious reason. 

“And that’s also why you’re at Westminster?” 

Louis shakes his head. “No, that’s just a stupid tradition.” He chuckles a bit. “My parents went here. This is the place where they met. So did their parents and so on. They hope I’m going to find the love of my life here as well.” His eyes look up to meet Harry’s. “My little sister is a first grader.”

Harry’s eyes widen a bit at the new information. Louis has a little sister. “Your sister?” 

Louis smiles. “Yes, my sister. I’ve got four younger sisters.” Harry now kind of understands why says he can’t stand to be around his family. Four sisters are probably not easy to handle. Harry can’t even stand his one sister sometimes, let alone four. 

“Did she go home?” Harry doesn’t know if he is allowed to ask, but he can’t help it. Louis is actually telling him things about himself and he doesn’t want him to stop right now. He feels like this is a one chance opportunity. 

Louis nods his head. “Yes, she did,” he says. “Unlike me, she does like to go home and be around our family. Otherwise she would miss her mummy too much.” He rolls his eyes at his last statement. 

Harry can’t help but notice that he talks about their mother like it is only the mother of his sisters. Like she doesn’t love him like she loves her sisters. Maybe he feels left out, he feels like the underdog and maybe that is the reason he doesn’t want to go home. 

Harry sometimes feels like he is little bit the underdog as well. His mum thinks his sister is so perfect. She never got herself into trouble, she always did what she was asked and all those kind of things. Just the perfect child. And there is Harry, ruining their perfect little family. 

Well, now they don’t have to worry about him anymore.


	12. Digging Nails

_“Don’t lie to me, Harry. You have done enough harm already.”_

_Those pleading eyes, so full of broken trust. I want to glue to pieces back together, like it is only a broken mirror. But you know what they say. Trust is like a mirror, when it breaks you can fix it, but you’ll always see the crack._

_“I just can’t believe that you don’t believe me when I tell the truth.”_

_My voice cracks. Just like the crack in the mirror of trust._

_“I know you’re not telling the truth. There is enough evidence.”_

_I’m slowly losing my faith in her. I’m losing my faith in everybody. I thought people would believe me. But they don’t. My word is nothing against his. I’m just a rebellious boy who does stuff he isn’t supposed to. That is how they see me. But they couldn’t be more wrong._

_“There is no evidence at all!”_

_I’m losing my patient. I start to yell. I don’t want to yell at her. She will ban me out of her life for good. That is the last thing I want to happen. But I think I’m too late. I think she already walked out of my life. I think this is just goodbye._

_“You can’t keep lying, Harry. You’ll drown.”_

Louis looks at the sleeping younger boy next to him. His chest slowly rises and falls again. His eyes are closed, his messy curls lightly falling in front of them and his thin lashes slightly brushing against the smooth skin of his cheeks. Louis wants to reach out and touch the skin, but he doesn’t. It might wake the boy. 

It is pretty late, the darkness outside has already fallen. Louis and Harry have spent their whole day in Louis room, only going down for lunch and dinner. The ended up watching the other two movies as well, with some talking in between. Harry has fallen asleep during the end of the last movie. 

Louis hadn’t noticed at first, until the younger boys’ head fell on his shoulder and made him slightly jump. It was a little weird to have those curls rubbing in your face and Louis had pushed him off, very gently so he wouldn’t wake him. He then had gotten up to change into some sweats, so he would be more comfortable. 

Now he is looking at the sleeping boy and feeling like a creep. But maybe he shouldn’t feel like a creep so much, because he knows that Harry has done a lot of staring as well. All the times that Harry thought Louis hadn’t noticed. But he had. He had felt his eyes burning in the back of his head and each time he had turned around to look at Harry who would just avert his eyes. 

And he had wondered why. Why would Harry stare at him like that? Why did Harry want to talk to him? What did he find so interesting about him? Most people just find him weird or a freak and don’t bother to get to know him. Most people think he is quiet and read books all the time, but they can’t be more wrong. Okay, he reads a lot of books, but that is not the only thing he does. There is way more. 

And don’t get it wrong, Louis loves the fact that Harry talks to him, that Harry takes an interest in him. He is just curious why. Why him? Harry is two years younger than him, he can get a bunch of fourth graders as his friends. But here he is, sleeping in Louis’ room. 

Suddenly Harry’s eyes snap open, his irises darker than normal, his breathing heavier than ever. His eyes are wide open as he looks Louis straight in the eye, his hands shaking in his lap. Louis is surprised at how fearful Harry looks. 

Louis doesn’t say anything as Harry averts his eyes, his breathing slowly getting back to normal and his hands stop shaking. Louis doesn’t say anything as Harry looks back at him, his eyes their normal emerald colour again. Louis also doesn’t say anything as Harry grabs his wrists and digs his nails deeply into Louis’ flesh. 

Louis looks down, at his wrists and feeling bruises starting to form. Harry’s breath is hot on his cheek and he feels the burning stare in his head, but he doesn’t look up. He keeps looking at his wrists, that now slowly start to bleed. His heart starts to beat faster. 

And then Harry releases his grip on Louis’ wrists. 

He looks up at Louis with big eyes. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles quietly. Louis realizes that he just has seen Harry at one of his most vulnerable moments. Harry was scared of something and he was seeking for protection by Louis. Or he had to let out his anger by almost kneading off Louis’ wrists.

Louis lifts his arms to see the blood dripping down. Then he lifts his gaze from his arms to see Harry’s face. The sorry is smeared all over it, his looking sadly into Louis’ eyes. Louis tries to read more than the sadness and the sorry. There is something more in his eyes, but he can’t seem to figure out what it is. 

Their breaths mix and their eyes are locked as they slowly and unwillingly lean closer to each other. Harry wants to reach up and brush his long fingers against the smooth skin of Louis’ cheek so desperately, but he is afraid that if he touches him that he might hurt him again. That he might dig his nails in it again and making it bleed. 

Harry’s lips brush slightly against Louis’ soft, pink ones and his eyes flutter close at the feeling of the contact, leaning in more. But it has to opposite effect on Louis. His heart jumps at the feeling of their lips slightly pressed together. His eyes widen and he pulls back, making Harry open his eyes. 

And there it is again. The sorry on his face. Louis wants to kiss it away, but he is not sure if he can. He is not sure what it means, this strange desire for Harry’s contact. He is not sure if this is what he wants. But what if it is? 

An awkward silence falls between the two who look at each other frozen. The tension is thick in the air. Harry doesn’t know what to do. Should he run away? He just made a complete fool out himself. He let himself go too much by first cutting in Louis’ wrists with his nails and then trying to kiss him. He shouldn’t lose his control like that. 

He is debating whether to get up and walk away or not. But can’t. Louis’ stare keeps him in place, like there is an invisible roped tied between the two. He can’t look away, he can’t move. Hell, he can barely breathe. He is frozen and all he can do is stare at the older boy in front of him. 

But it is exactly what Louis is doing as well. He isn’t debating whether to run away or not, but if he should snap in one of his angry moods or just kiss the boy in front of him. Louis doesn’t have an angry problem, you know. He snaps in those moods on purpose. Whenever he feels that Harry is coming to close to him he snaps into them to push him away. He doesn’t want Harry to break down his walls. 

But he is doubting now. Wouldn’t it be a release if Harry breaks down his walls? Wouldn’t it be easier to trust someone with not just small part of his life, but to give him his whole story? Wouldn’t there be a weight lifting off of his shoulders if he spits it all out? 

_Hanging out with Tomlinson is equal to asking for problems._

Liam’s voice suddenly rings loud and clear through Harry’s head. Eve has confirmed that statement. Louis is trouble. Wouldn’t it be smarter to just run away and instead of continuing to stare in those beautiful blue eyes? Before it happens all over again? 

But it hasn’t stopped Eve to hang out with him. No, they even seemed to be really close. Maybe it doesn’t matter at all if Louis is trouble. He doesn’t look on the edge of being kicked out. Maybe Liam just exaggerated a bit.

At this point Harry can’t contain himself anymore. He leans forward again and crashes his lips on Louis’ more fiercely than the first time. Louis immediately reacts, putting his hands in Harry’s wild curls and kissing him back hard. The kiss isn’t how Harry imagined it to be, it is so full of frustrations. 

Harry grabs fistfuls of Louis’ shirt, pulling him even closer if that is even possible. His lips are already feeling swollen and bruised as they move in sync with Louis’. The lack of oxygen makes his head spin in dizziness but he doesn’t want to stop right now. 

Louis releases Harry’s curls, moving his hands so they grab onto Harry’s jaw. He pushes him against the wall behind him, Harry still pulling on Louis’ shirt to get him close. Louis bites hard on Harry’s bottom lip in frustration, tasting his blood. But it doesn’t stop any of them. Instead Harry open his mouth, gladly receiving Louis’ tongue. 

Harry feels his jaw starting to bruise where Louis is pressing his fingers against his skin. His lip is bleeding, but he guesses he deserves it. He has made Louis bleed earlier. Though, he can’t stop his hands from sneaking under Louis’ shirt and digging his nails in smooth skin of Louis’ sides. 

Louis feels the pressure on his sides and can’t help but moan from deep inside of his throat. Then he releases Harry’s lip. His lips are a darker shade of red and swollen. The blood has dripped down his chin a bit and he wipes it away, keeping his eyes locked on Louis. 

Louis isn’t looking at him. He lifts his shirt up to look at the red marks on his side. There also bleeding a little, much like the marks on his wrists from Harry’s hand earlier. He feels like if he is going to kiss Harry a lot that it is going to be the death of him. 

Harry sucks in a deep breath when Louis lifts his shirt. He looks at the beautiful tan skin of his stomach, seeing the slightly visible outline of his abs. And then the red marks on his side. The marks he is the cause of. 

“I’m sorry.” It is the second time he has said these words since he had woken up a while ago now. It is also the only thing he has said so far and he feels bad for hurting Louis like that. 

But much to his surprise, Louis is smirking at him. “Just don’t try to kill me next time,” he says. Harry’s heart jumps. He is planning on kissing him another time? He wouldn’t mind though. 

Harry tries to smirk as well, but is still a bit out of breath and caught off guard. “I won’t.” 

Louis looks at his alarm clock to check the time and see that it is past eleven already. “Shit, you missed curfew.” He smirks again. “Looks like you’re going to have to stay here.” Excuses and he knows it. Louis isn’t one who is afraid to send people away after curfew as he wanders around the corridors past curfew himself sometimes. 

“You can chose between the bed full of my dirty clothes and other stuff or this.” He gestures at his own bed, not neatly made up but clear of laundry or paper towels and or things like that. 

Harry doubts. He wants nothing more than to share a bed with Louis, but maybe it would be a little uncomfortable. But he knows that Louis wouldn’t offer if he doesn’t want Harry in his bed so he just goes for it. 

They both strip down to their boxers, not bothering with pyjama’s. Usually they both sleep naked, but maybe that would be a bit too much in one time. And Harry hasn’t slept naked since his first night here. He knows Liam is awkward about it. 

Harry tries to not lay too close to Louis, but that is almost impossible as the bed is actually made for only one person, not two. He feels Louis’ warm legs touching his, he feels Louis’ sides touching and he feels Louis’ arm touching his. There is no way he is easily going to be able to fall asleep. 

“Goodnight, Hazza.”


	13. The Great Escape

The sunlight slightly peeks through the half closed curtains, causing Harry to slowly open his eyes. The room he currently is in looks familiar, but he knows it is not his. This room is way too messy to be his. Harry's room is always spotless because of him being a cleaning freak. 

When he feels someone's hot breath on his neck, he turns his head to be met with the sleeping face of Louis. His hair is tossed to one side, messier than usual. His eyes are closed, his long lashes touching the tan skin of his cheek. His mouth is slightly open, letting out soft breaths. 

Overall, he looks like a sleeping angel and Harry can bring himself to look away from him. Louis is laying way closer to Harry than he was last night, but if Harry scoots away he will fall out of bed. And maybe he doesn't to be laying so close next to Louis. Maybe he likes it. 

Louis feels Harry's stares burning on his eyelids, causing him to open them. He is immediately met with Harry's beautiful, emerald eyes. Louis smirks at the look on Harry's for being caught staring at him. Again. He doesn't mind though. But he is still wondering why? Why him?

Louis sits up, causing Harry to shift and fall out of bed with yelp escaping from his lips. Louis can't help but laugh at him. He leans over the rand of the bed to take a look at Harry lying on the ground. "Not funny," he says, groaning in pain.

Still chuckling a bit, Louis gets out of bed to help Harry up from the floor. "Thanks," he mumbles as he is standing on his feet again and realizing to closeness, his bare chest almost touching Louis'. Louis grins at him once more before releasing Harry's hand.

Louis walks towards his closet to grab some clean clothes and then starts for the door. He turns around to look at Harry before he walks out and says: "I'm going to take a quick shower. I guess I'll see you at breakfast." Harry nods his head and then he is out of the room. 

Harry grabs his own clothes, quickly putting them on and heading down the stairs towards his own room. Once inside, he lets himself fall on his bed and he groans loudly into his pillow. What had he gotten himself into? He has kissed Louis yesterday and it was not just a small peck on the lips. No, it was a full make out session. 

What is that supposed to mean? Does he have feelings for Louis? Because he has never noticed them before. Maybe he had just been oblivious to them because they never have been so close? Maybe he hadn't want to feel them, but he just did because Louis' lips were on his. Maybe his mind has been playing tricks on him all this time. 

He gets up from his bed and decides that a shower might be a good idea. He grabs some clean clothes and heads down the corridor towards the guys' shower of the fourth graders. The showers are empty, much to his surprise. But then again, most people are probably home. 

He steps underneath the warm rays of water and let his tense muscles relax. He lets his head hang, so his chin is touching his chest and he closes his eyes, simply enjoying the warm sensation on his body. It is amazing how relaxing a simple shower can be. 

Once he is clean enough, he turns off the shower and steps out. After he dried himself off a bit, he puts on a pair of jeans with a plaid button up and a white shirt underneath it. He wraps the towel around his hair – which looks a little weird on him – and walks towards his room. 

Once he has put his shower stuff neatly away, he heads downstairs for breakfast. His stomach appreciates that, because it has been growling ever since he left Louis’ room. It is a little earlier than yesterday, so the canteen is a little more crowded, but Harry can easily spot Louis sitting at a table. Harry quickly makes his way over to him. 

Louis looks up from his food as he hears Harry taking a seat in front of him. He grins at him. Harry’s hair is still damp, much like his own, and is a bigger mess than usual. Louis doesn’t mind though, it still looks extremely good on him. 

Harry raises his eyebrows at Louis’ grin, not quite understanding why he is smirking like that. He doesn’t say anything, though. Instead he starts to stuff his scrambled eggs in his mouth, his stomach making a happy sound for finally getting food inside of him. 

“How do you feel about going to London today?” Louis suddenly says. Harry chokes a little on his food, almost spitting it back out. Louis smirks at his reaction, but he seems to be serious about what he said. 

“What do you mean, going to London?” Harry replies after he has swallowed his bite. He scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. Is Louis thinking about escaping? 

“Well, we really close to London right now. It takes like five minutes with the bus to get there,” he says, trying to convince Harry to go along with him. “It’s extremely boring in here. No one will notice, I’ve done it a lot of times and they don’t pay so much attention to you during the breaks.” 

Harry doesn’t know. He has to admit, it sounds quite appealing, being out of this hell for a while. But it is quite risky. Even though he doesn’t want to be here, he doesn’t want to get kicked out as well. Maybe they won’t even do to, but something much worse, like keeping him here and making his life more of a hell than it already is. 

“Come on,” Louis says as he sees the doubt on Harry’s face. “Don’t be such a bore. I promise we won’t get caught.” He holds his pinkie out to Harry. Harry looks at him in confusion. “Pinkie swear.”

Harry can’t help but laugh a little at the pinkie swear and the cute little pout that has formed on Louis’ face. He grabs Louis’ pinkie with his own and huffs. “Fine.” 

Louis’ whole face lights up in excitement. “Yes! I swear, this will be the best you’ve ever had here.” Harry chuckles at Louis’ childish behaviour. This is a totally different Louis than he has grown used to, but he kind of likes this Louis as well. 

A half an hour later Harry meets up with Louis again in the Hall. The Hall is as good as empty. Harry can’t believe that they just are going to sneak out through the front door and no one will notice. He hopes that Louis knows what he is doing and not just improvising something on the spot. 

“Keep close the wall,” Louis says once they are outside. “There is no one in the corridor of the classrooms, but people can see you from the windows from the first floor and up if you just randomly walk around.” 

Harry nods his head and starts walking with his back pressed against the wall of the old building. He turns around to look at Louis once he is at the end of the building. Louis pushes him into the bushes and quickly follows after Harry. 

“Now we can just run towards the gate and we’re free,” Louis says, grinning at Harry. Harry grins as well. Louis’ words sound so good in his ears. He is free after being a month in this hell. He knows his freedom is limited, but he doesn’t want to think about that right now. 

Louis starts to run towards the gate, keeping low behind the bushes and Harry copies his actions. Harry feels relief washing over him when he is outside of the gates. They didn’t get caught and he is out of this hell! It is been a while since he feel this kind of happiness and adrenaline rushing inside of him. 

His grin matches Louis’ as they walk together to the nearest bus station, which is only a few meters away from them. The bus arrives ten minutes later and then there off to the centrum of London. Harry hadn’t imagined that he would actually see London in the time he stays at Westminster. 

“What now?” Harry asks as they both step off the bus on Piccadilly Circus, the centrum of London. People push past them, hurrying to wherever they have to go. Big screens are hung up against the buildings, flashing commercial from Coca Cola and McDonalds. How long would it have been that Harry ate a hamburger from McDonalds? 

“We’re in London, we can do whatever the hell we want,” Louis says, grinning widely at Harry as he throws his arms in the air. Harry doubts that they can do whatever the hell they want, but they can do a lot more than you can at Westminster. Harry grins widely back at Louis as he realizes – once again – how big their freedom is right now. 

“What do you usually do when you sneak out?” Harry asks Louis, looking in his direction. Louis merely shrugs his shoulders and starts to walk down London’s West End. Harry walks besides him and realizes that he just could walk around all day, without actually doing anything. Even that feels great. 

At some point they end up sitting in Hyde Park, watching people and commenting on their clothes, laughing at the weird people. It is feels good to see people in something else than the dark blue blazers and trousers, white shirts and striped ties they have to wear at school. 

“I don’t see the point in uniforms,” Harry says as Louis just had said that he is glad that they don’t have to wear their uniforms during the breaks. Harry absolutely agrees on that one. Those uniforms are the worst idea so far. 

“That’s how everyone blends in,” Louis replies. “They want everyone to be treated as equals.” He rolls his eyes at his statement, obviously agreeing to Harry. No one probably enjoys wearing uniforms. 

“But that’s just the point,” Harry says. “No one is the same, we’re all different. And we should be able to show our differences.” He has to admit, he is a little frustrated about the fact that they have to wear uniforms. 

Louis shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe I wouldn’t mind it so much if they looked a bit better than they do now,” he says as he looks on his phone to check the time. It is five thirty and he planned to be back before dinner. He doesn’t anyone want to notice their absence. 

“We better go catch the bus,” Louis says, getting up from the bench. Harry follows his actions as they start to walk back to Piccadilly Circus. They make small talk on their way back to the grand square. 

“Harry!” 

Harry immediately spins around at the sound of his name. He doesn’t notice someone who could have been calling his name as a small frame throws herself into his arms. In a reaction he wraps his arms around her waist so she wouldn’t fall to the ground. 

He smiles widely. He could have recognized those wild, blond curls from everywhere, especially as they rub in his face. Her sweet, delicious scent is also one to not easy forget. Not that if she wouldn’t have smelled like that, or if she wouldn’t have those curls that he would have forgotten her. 

She releases Harry from her tight embrace and looks him straight in the eye with crystal clear eyes, a huge grin plastering her face. “It’s been so long! So good to see you!” she says excitedly. “You look even better than before you left.” 

“You look good, too, Hayley!” Harry says, his grin mirroring hers. And it is true, she has always been a beautiful girl, but she still gets more attractive with each year. And she knows how to compliment her body, to look even better. 

“Long time no see, huh?” a deeper voice than Hayley’s says. Harry looks up from Hayley’s face to be met with some chocolate brown eyes that belong to his best friend, Jaden. He hasn’t seen him since his last day at his old school, Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School. 

“It’s good to see you, mate,” Harry says, pulling Jaden in one of those man hugs. He can’t believe what a good day this is. He escapes from hell for a few hours with Louis, has a great day and to close it off he sees his two best friends. 

“How bad is it?” Hayley asks as she pulls a face at Harry. He immediately understands what she is talking about, as he pulls a face as well. 

“It’s like hell,” he replies, frowning at just the thought of it. “But if you know the right people you’re able to survive.” He looks at Louis, who is standing kind of awkwardly next to him. Harry suddenly realizes that he hasn’t introduced them yet. 

“Guys, this is Louis,” he says, making Louis looking up at the mention of his name. “Louis, that are Hayley and Jaden, my two best friends.” Hayley waves at him with a big smile while Jaden just nods his head at him. 

Louis slightly waves back. “Nice meeting you.” Than he turns to Harry again. “We better go.” 

Harry nods his head a bit disappointed. Hayley pulls him in a tight hug once again and Jaden shakes his hand as they say their goodbyes. 

“We’ll see you soon,” Hayley yells after him as he walks away with Louis by his side.


	14. The Not So Great Comeback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while, I was on a ski trip and I didn't have wifi. Tomorrow I'm going to post again, but then you'll have to wait another week, because I won't be home again.

“Are we supposed to do the same again?” Harry asks they both jump off the bus. He refers to their previous actions to get out of Westminster. Louis grins at him and nods his head. 

“Unless you want to get caught, but I don’t think you do,” he says as he climbs behind the bushes and starts to walk in the direction of the old building. Towards hell again, Harry thinks as he sighs and follows closely behind Louis. 

Louis presses his back against the old brick wall as they reach the building. Harry copies his actions, feeling like James Bond as they make their way towards the front door. If he only had a license to kill and he smirks to himself, imagining how he would kill Carter first. 

Louis pushes the front doors open, but immediately freezes. Harry doesn’t notice and bumps into him, saying: “What are you doing? Keep moving.” 

“I think we have a problem,” he says quietly, nodding his head in the direction of and old lady, her grey hairs obviously dyed in a colour that doesn’t fit her are pinned back into a tight bun. She wears an boring old, grey skirt that falls past her knees, with a matching jacket. 

Deputy headmaster, Mrs Jameson, stares at them with a stern look in her eyes that make both of them shiver. Harry and Louis know that they are both in deep trouble. Harry thinks back of the last time. This time he would get kicked out for something he actually did, so maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. He might finally leave this place. 

“And where did the boys go to?” she asks, her voice telling that she already knows where they went, but wants to hear it from their mouths. Louis decides that he might try to get them out of this. 

A sweet smile appears on his face that actually might convince you that he is innocent. “We were just outside here, adoring the beautiful front yard,” he says. Harry mentally slaps him for coming up with the worst lie ever. He knows that Mrs Jameson won’t buy, he wouldn’t even buy, but the smile on Louis’ face is quite convincing. 

“And you needed a whole day to adore the beautiful front yard, Mr Tomlinson?” Mrs Jameson shoots back at us in a sweet voice, with the same sweet smile as Louis on her face. Harry knows she is only being sarcastic. 

“It’s a big front yard, you know,” Louis says, his voice not so sweet anymore, his smile faltering a bit. Harry mentally slaps him over and over again. He is only going to make it worse than it already is. Why is he still trying to lie? 

“I want to see you both in my office after dinner,” she says, her voice stern again. “So we can see what you guys can do to make our beautiful front yard even more beautiful.” Her smile returns to her face as she turns around and walks away from the two defeated boys. 

“You said we wouldn’t get caught,” Harry bursts out once Mrs Jameson has disappeared out of sight. “You pinkie swore on it!”

Louis looks at him, an angry frown on his forehead. “I didn’t mean to get caught. You think I wanted this? I freaking hate that woman and she doesn’t want anything more than to make my life a hell here.” 

It is already a hell here, Harry thinks, but he doesn’t say anything. He knows Louis didn’t mean to, but he can’t help but be angry at him. Even though he can blame himself as much as he can blame Louis. He went along with it. 

“Let’s get food,” he says, the words more coming out as growl. Louis merely nods his head. He is just as angry as Harry is. Mostly at himself, but also a bit at Harry because he blamed it all on him. He shakes his head and follows Harry in the canteen. 

They both don’t say a word during dinner as they angrily chew on their food. Harry thinks about what could happen in Mrs Jameson’s office. He doesn’t think she will kick them out of school. He thinks she has something much worse in mind. He is sure that isn’t going to like it and he is really not looking forward to it. 

Is Louis used to this, Harry wonders as he makes his way towards Mrs Jameson’s office with Louis by his side. If has done this before. He told Harry he had sneaked out before, maybe he has been caught. Or maybe he has been caught doing other things he isn’t supposed to. 

“Come in,” the stern voice of Mrs Jameson says as Louis knocks on the door. He opens the door and walks inside, Harry following his lead. Louis looks pretty calm and Harry wonders if it is only a mask. Harry himself feels nervous as hell. 

“Ah,” Mrs Jameson says. “The runaways. Take a seat.” 

Louis pulls a face as he sits in one of the chairs in front of the wooden desk. “We didn’t run away.” Harry can’t help but think that Louis has to shut up before he gets them in deeper trouble. It is true, though. They didn’t exactly run away. They just escaped for a couple of hours. 

“You left the school, though. That is against the rules.” Mrs Jameson stares hard at Louis, but Louis stares just as hard back at her. Harry can see that his eyes are slowly starting to look really cold and scary, as he is planning to murder Mrs Jameson. 

“And you of all people should know that if you break the rules, Mr Tomlinson, you should be punished.” Yes, Louis is definitely familiar with this. Harry can’t help think that it will only make it worse. 

Mrs Jameson lifts her gaze from Louis to Harry, who is sitting quite nervously in his chair. He doesn’t want to meet her eyes, but he feels her stare burning in his forehead. “How long have you been here, Mr Styles?” 

Harry looks up for a brief second as she directs her words towards him. “About a month,” he mumbles. 

“And already in trouble?” She raises her eyebrows at him. “Well, I didn’t expect anything else as you are friends with Mr Tomlinson.” She lets her chin rest on her folded hands in front of her as she keeps looking at Harry, who is still avoiding her eyes. 

“Look at me, Mr Styles.” Harry lifts his gaze to look at the old woman’s face. “You don’t occur to me as a stupid boy. You’re friends with Mr Payne as well, he is a very sensible guy. This seems like a strange friendship,” she says pointing between the two boys in front of her. “Explain to me, Mr Styles.” 

But Louis speaks up before Harry can even open his mouth. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think Harry has to explain his friendship with me. This has nothing to do with us leaving the school. And I also don’t think that it is any of your business.” 

Harry mentally slaps Louis for the third time this evening. Mrs Jameson is obviously fuming and Louis just keeps making it worse. Harry is afraid that she might spit fire any second now, or jump over the desk and attack Louis or something. 

“I don’t care if it has anything to with it,” she says, her voice becoming a little shrill. Harry can see that she is trembling from furiousness. “You are being extremely disrespectful and I don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour, Mr Tomlinson.” 

Harry doesn’t understand how Louis hasn’t broken away from her stare yet. He probably has grown used to it. But Mrs Jameson doesn’t seem to care as she keeps talking. “I want to see you the first Saturday after the break in detention. For eight week long. You are also going to help Mr Dockers with cleaning the bathrooms. For eight weeks long.” 

Louis groans in annoyance, but Mrs Jameson doesn’t look at him anymore. Instead she has shifted her gaze to Harry again. “I want to see you in detention as well, Mr Styles. Four weeks long. I also want you to help Mrs Marston, the lunch lady, during lunch for four weeks long. You both start after the break.” 

Harry only weakly nods his head. He rather helps the lunch lady than clean the bathrooms. Mrs Marston is a friendly, chubby lady, but he has heard the Mr Dockers is a grumpy old man that always complains about how dirty people leave the bathrooms. 

“Now get out of my eyes,” Mrs Jameson pointing at the door for them to leave her office. Harry and Louis both get up from their seats and leave the room without giving the old lady another look. 

“God, I hate that woman,” Louis says once they are on the corridor once again. Harry merely nods her head. He doesn’t like her as well, but it is kind of Louis’ own fault that his punishment is so bad. But he doesn’t say anything, he knows Louis is angry already and he doesn’t want to piss him off more. 

This time they end up at Harry’s room. Louis takes a seat on Liam’s neatly made up bed. Harry can’t help but think about how big the contrast between Louis and Liam is. Liam is sensible, clean, always on time, never failing a test and all those sort of things. Louis is a little cocky, the messiest person Harry has ever seen, he doesn’t care if he is too late or not and today Harry has seen that he is also a little immature. 

“What?” Louis asks, raising at eyebrow at him. Harry averts his gaze, realizing that he had been staring at Louis. 

“I’m just thinking about how you don’t fit on Liam’s bed,” Harry says, slightly chuckling at the difference between Louis and Liam. But even though they are kind of opposites of each other, he still finds himself being friends with both of them. 

“What do you mean? My bum isn’t that big, is it?” Louis asks, lifting his bottom of Liam’s mattress to look at it. 

Harry laughs at Louis. “That’s not what I meant. Although you’re bum is pretty big.” Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry. “I meant that you and Liam are kind of opposites.”

“Yeah, we are,” Louis says, his expression changing a bit. “But you have been looking at my bum.” It was not quite a question and Harry only laughs at it, not bothering with a reply. 

Harry gets up from his bed. “Do you mind? I’m going to get into something more comfortable.” Louis only nods his head, as Harry walks towards his closet to take out his sweats and he quickly pulls them on. When he turns around again, Louis is way closer than he expected him to be. 

Harry looks at Louis’ lips, licking his own. They almost beg to be kissed. To feel the contact of Louis’ lips against his own. Harry remembers the day before, how good Louis’ lips felt against his. He doesn’t care it was rough and full of frustrations, because it also felt good. 

Harry suddenly grabs Louis’ jaw and smashes their lips together. It is like Louis expected this, because he immediately starts to move his lips against Harry’s, his hands grabbing Harry’s waist, holding onto his shirt. 

Harry’s hands move into Louis’ soft hair as he starts to nibble and suck on Louis’ bottom lip, making Louis open his mouth so Harry can push his tongue inside. Harry leans forward, making Louis’ stumble backwards, his back hitting Liam’s closet. Harry can feel Louis’ body heat through his shirt as he presses their body’s together. 

Soon Harry’s lips leave Louis as he moves onto Louis’ neck. First he just presses light kisses on the smooth skin, seeing if Louis would protest. But as Louis doesn’t stop him, he starts to suck, soon finding a sensitive spot as Louis lets out a low moan. Harry grins and sucks harder, earning more sweet sounds that escape Louis’ mouth. 

But Louis doesn’t like to be the one that isn’t in control, so he switches places with Harry as Harry’s back is now pressed against the closet. Louis smirks at him as Harry’s eyes widen in surprise, not expecting the sudden movements from Louis. 

Louis presses his lips against Harry’s again, immediately opening his mouth with his own lips and shoving his tongue inside. Harry grabs Louis shirt, pulling him closer as Louis’ hands tangle through Harry’s unruly curls. 

Harry is content when Louis leans his body against his and he releases Louis’ shirt. Instead he goes underneath it, roaming the tan skin of Louis’ stomach. Suddenly he digs his nails in Louis’ side, much like the last time, as Louis connect his lips with the skin of Harry’s neck. 

Louis feels his side starting bleed again, as the little wounds from last time aren’t healed yet and he lets his teeth sink into Harry’s neck, slightly biting. Harry lets out a moan as Louis traces small patterns with his tongue on Harry’s skin and he digs his nails only deeper into Louis’ sides. 

Louis’ lips leave Harry’s neck as he looks into his beautiful, green eyes. He slightly smirks at how out of breath Harry looks. He grabs Harry’s hands that are still placed on his sides and takes them away of his body. 

“You need to stop doing that.”


	15. Happy Birthday, Louis – Part 1

Harry wakes up when he feels pain shooting through the small of his back. Only when he feels the pain for the second time he realizes that Louis is kicking him in his back. He turns around to tell Louis to stop, but Louis eyes are closed. He is still asleep. 

Harry yelps loudly when Louis kicks him a third time, this time right in the balls. Louis’ eyes snap open at the loud sound and he pushes whoever is lying next to him out of his bed. He does not need anyone to be creeping on him. 

He leans over the rand of the bed when he hears someone groaning in pain on the ground to see Harry grabbing his private section. Louis chuckles at him. “What the hell are you doing on the ground?” he asks curiously. 

Harry opens one eye to shoot Louis a death glare. “First you kicked me twice in my back, then you kicked me in the balls and after that you pushed me out of bed. Then you wonder what I’m doing on the ground?”

Louis can’t help but laugh loudly, but Harry shushes him. It is still the middle of the night. Though, there is still a large grin plastered on his face as Harry crawls in bed again after the pain started to drip out of his body. 

“Why did you kick me like that?” Harry asks once he lays next the Louis again. 

Louis shrugs his shoulders. “Or I was dreaming that I was a ninja or something or I wanted to get out of bed.”

Harry furrows his eyebrows as he turns his head to look at Louis. “Why would you want to get out of bed?”

“Sleepwalking,” Louis says. He doesn’t turn to Harry as he answers, he only looks at the ceiling above him. He doesn’t quite like it, his sleepwalking. In fact, he is a bit embarrassed about it. He has done a few stupid things while he sleepwalked. He also answers if people ask him questions. He answers them with the full truth. 

“Why are you embarrassed?” Harry asks as he notices that Louis won’t look at him, a slight blush colouring his cheeks. 

“I just don’t like it,” Louis replies, shrugging his shoulders. Harry doesn’t need to know the full truth. He might try to talk to Louis while he sleeps. He doesn’t want to give answers he will regret the following morning. Not that he will remember, but Harry could confront him with them. 

“I think it’s pretty cool,” Harry says with a smile while he nudges Louis’ arm with his shoulder. He sees that there also breaks a small smile through on Louis’ face and he grins even wider, feeling a little proud that he made Louis smile. 

Louis shrugs his shoulders, as he rolls over onto his stomach, half lying on Harry. Harry groans at sudden weight on his stomach and pokes Louis in his sides. “What are you doing?” he asks, trying to push Louis off. 

“Why don’t do you have an alarm clock?” Louis asks him, ignoring his previous question. He rolls off of Harry and looks at him with his eyebrows raised. 

“Because Liam has one, but he has taken it with him,” Harry replies, shoving his arm underneath his pillow and taking his phone. He looks at the time. “It’s two thirty, why?” 

“Because I’m eighteen for two and half hours now,” Louis replies, a huge grin appearing on his face. Harry’s mouth slightly falls open and Louis puts his hand underneath it to close it again with a laugh.

“You didn’t tell me it’s your birthday!” Harry says, giving Louis a playful shove. “You have to tell me those kind of things.”

Louis raises his eyebrows at Harry. “You haven’t told me when your birthday is, either,” he points out, looking at Harry. 

“It’s the first of February. You can’t forget now,” Harry replies, grinning at Louis. Louis shakes his head, holding up his hand and swearing that he won’t ever forget Harry’s birthday. Harry grins again. 

Harry then leans closer to Louis and softly pecks him on the lips. “Happy birthday, Louis,” he says and Louis smiles at him. Like genuine smile. Harry has never seen him smile like that and it is the most beautiful smile he has ever seen. It makes him want to peck Louis’ lips   
again and again and again. 

“Thank you, Harry,” Louis replies. He lies his head on Harry’s pillow and looks at the ceiling again. Harry does the same. He doesn’t want to sleep yet. It is not like they have to get up early tomorrow. They have a whole day to do nothing. 

“Such a shame, though,” Harry says, making Louis turn his head to look at him with questioning eyes. “You won’t have birthday sex on your eighteenth birthday.”

Louis smirks at him. “Says who?” Harry’s eyes widen. Is Louis trying to say something? He can’t mean what Harry thinks he means. But if he does, then Harry refuses to participate in it. 

“Who with?” Harry asks, not really trusting the case. He is almost positive that Louis is up to something. 

“There are plenty of people I can have sex with,” Louis replies, still smirking at Harry. 

Harry rolls his eyes at him. “You’re such a slut,” he says earning a shove of Louis that almost results in Harry falling out of bed again. Almost. Harry is able to grab his bedside table before he falls out of bed and repositions himself so he lies comfortable again. 

He can’t imagine it, though, Louis sleeping around with random people. And he doesn’t think he does, but he doesn’t think he has never slept with someone he hasn’t had a relationship with. Harry feels his cheeks heat up a bit thinking about Louis sex life. 

And his cheeks redden even more when he thinks about something else. Would Louis ever sleep with him? That is something he can’t imagine at all. He rather sees Louis sleeping around with random people than Louis having sex with him. That is absolutely weird. 

He suddenly pulls the covers over his head. He can’t take the thoughts anymore. They have made out, he has made Louis moan. Is that the next step? Sex? No. That can’t happen. That would be just plain weird. Louis probably doesn’t even want that. Louis probably wants to have sex with girls, not with him.

But he has made out with Harry. Maybe it was pure lust. He just needed it and it didn’t matter whether it was with a girl or not. Maybe Harry’s lips just feels extremely feminine against Louis’. Maybe it wasn’t that hard for Louis to imagine that Harry is a girl while he kisses him.

“Harry, what are you doing down there?” Louis asks, lifting the covers to look at Harry with a puzzled look on his face. Harry’s cheeks heat up again, thinking about the thoughts he just had and shakes his head at Louis.

“Nothing.” 

Louis still looks a bit funny at him, but he doesn’t say anything, which Harry is grateful for. Louis snuggles a little bit closer to Harry and Harry can’t help but tense up a little. Louis doesn’t notice, though, and he only mumbles: “Maybe we should sleep.” 

Harry nods his head, not sure if Louis saw it or not. He figures he didn’t when he hears that Louis’ breath has already slowed down and that he is already asleep. Harry on the other hand can’t find sleep at all. Especially not when Louis suddenly sneaks his arm around Harry’s waist and pulls him closer. 

Harry tries to wriggle out of his grip without waking him up, but he fails miserably. Louis holds him in a death grip. He feels Louis’ warm chest slowly fall and rise against his back in harmony with the hot breath he feels in his neck from time to time. He really can’t fall asleep when this boy is sleeping so closely to him.

Harry tries to get out of Louis’ grip once again, but gives up when Louis’ groans and tightens his arm around him as Harry had slightly succeed in escaping. He turns around to get a little more comfortable to find Louis’ lips less than a centimetre from his. That isn’t comfortable at all, no that distracts him even more from falling asleep. 

He groans loudly and gives up on sleeping at all. Instead he starts to creep on Louis and looks at him while he sleeps. Harry can’t help but chuckle a little bit as Louis’ mouth is slightly agape. It is a pretty normal position to sleep in, lots of people do it, but it still looks funny. Definitely on Louis. 

Other than that he looks like a sleeping angel. It is the only time he looks like an angel, though. Unless he smiles. A genuine smile, not a grin or a smirk. A real smile. Then he comes pretty close to looking like an angel as well. But Harry hasn’t seen that so much yet. Only twice and it is such a shame. Because his smile is breath taking, even Harry can agree to that. 

Louis shifts a bit. His mouth closes slightly, only to open again, muttering: “Harry, sleep now.” Harry jumps at the sudden sound of Louis’ voice. He hadn’t realized that he had woken up again. 

“I’m trying to, but you’re distracting me,” Harry whispers. His cheeks heat up the moment the words slip out of his mouth. He didn’t mean to say that out loud and he hopes that Louis hasn’t heard it. But you know, luck isn’t really on his side. 

Louis opens one eye to look at Harry, his eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean, I’m distracting you?” 

Harry looks away from Louis. He isn’t quite sure whether he should tell Louis what he does to him. That it is impossible for him to breathe when he touches him or wraps his arm around him. Or how his heart beats faster when he notices how close Louis’ lips are to his and that he wants to kiss them so badly. That his head spins a little when he feels Louis’ hot breath in his neck. That sounds pretty much like falling for someone. He isn’t sure if he should tell Louis that. 

“I can’t breathe when your arm is so tightly around me,” Harry says. He means it in a different way than Louis probably thinks, but he doesn’t mind. Maybe Louis should be oblivious to the fact that he actually takes Harry’s breath away when he holds him like that for a little longer while. 

“Oh,” is all Louis says, like he hadn’t noticed that his arm was there. He averts his eyes from Harry’s as he takes his arm away from Harry’s waist and wraps it around his own body. Harry can’t help but feel a little bad when he sees Louis lying like that, so vulnerable. 

Harry rolls a little be closer to him and whispers in his ear. “I don’t mind your arm being around me,” he says. “Just not so tight.” 

Louis smiles a bit, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He isn’t stupid. He has felt how Harry tried to wriggle out of his grasp earlier. He just pretended to be asleep to use it as an excuse. He can’t help but want to touch the smooth skin of Harry’s toned stomach. Or every other part of his body for that matter. 

This boy is making him crazy. He makes him feel things that he has never felt before. That he never thought he would ever feel in his life. It is strange and unfamiliar to him, but he can’t help but desire for it each time. It is like a Harry is a drug. He has heard people saying it before, but he never could imagine how it felt like. Well, now he does. 

Louis turns around again only to find Harry way closer than he thought. Harry’s green eyes are wide open and staring straight into his. He can see them glistering like diamonds in the darkness of the room. And he can’t just get over the fact of how beautiful look. How he could stare into them forever. 

Harry comes a little closer brushes his lips slightly over Louis’. Louis’ eyes immediately flutter close, but the lips are gone as quickly as they came. He doesn’t open his eyes, though. He lies his head in the crook of Harry’s neck, breathing in his scent and Harry wraps an arm around his waist. 

They are both finally able to fall asleep.


	16. Happy Birthday, Louis – Part 2

“Are you completely out of your mind?” Harry asks Louis. He only gets a huge grin in response as Louis opens the window of Harry’s room and looks down. The jump doesn’t seem that high. Not that he is going to try, though. But Harry’s room is right next to the drainpipe, so it is pretty easy to just climb down. 

“Louis, we’ve already been caught for this,” Harry says, trying to talk this stupid idea out of Louis’ mind. “I don’t want to get into deeper trouble.” 

Louis shrugs his shoulder. “You don’t have to follow. But I’m going, whether you like it or not,” he says. “It’s my damn birthday.”

Harry rolls his eyes and glares at him as he climbs on the windowsill. Louis turns his head to look at Harry and try to convince him for one more time. “It’s night, Harry. Everyone is asleep and no one will see us. It’s not like they’re checking inside of our rooms, we just can’t walk around in the corridors.” Louis makes his eyes big and pouts at him. 

Harry sighs, knowing that he can’t resist that look. “Fine,” he says, giving in for another one of Louis’ stupid ideas. But it is his birthday after all. 

Louis flashes him a large grin before he climbs on drainpipe and starts to go down. Harry walks over to the window to look at Louis. His feet land on the ground in a matter of seconds. Louis has obviously done this before and not just once. 

“Come on,” Louis whispers, just loud enough for Harry to hear him three stories higher. Harry takes a deep breath and climbs on the windowsill, reaching for drainpipe. Harry’s journey down goes much slower than Louis’, but he manages to land safely next to Louis. 

“Awesome,” Louis says and he flashes Harry another huge grin. Harry can’t believe that he lets Louis have this kind of influence on him, but it is Louis Tomlinson after all. 

It is a cold December night and Harry wishes that he wore a little bit more clothes instead of only a jacket, jumper and shirt. The sky is a beautiful shade of dark blue, a million little white dots adoring the night. Luckily it hasn’t snowed yet, otherwise people would have seen their footsteps. 

“You are such a bad influence on me,” Harry says when they walk out of the gates of Westminster and towards London. It is too late to catch a bus so they are going to have to walk, but London isn’t that far. They should make it an half an hour. 

“You know you like it,” Louis replies, turning his head to look at Harry and he wiggles his eyebrows at him. Harry only grins at him, but doesn’t bother with a reply. If he only knew. 

They walk in silence most of the time, occasionally making small talk. Soon enough they see the lights of London in front of them and they are only five minutes apart from their destination. 

“Where exactly are we going to?” Harry asks as Louis starts to walk in certain directions. Harry just follows behind, not knowing their destination. 

“Just some pub,” Louis replies. “I invited some other people as well. You don’t mind, do you?” 

“No,” Harry says, shaking his head at Louis. Of course he doesn’t mind that there will be other people. But he wouldn’t have minded either if it would have been only him and Louis   
The heat and smell of alcohol hits Harry immediately in the face when they arrive at the pub. They leave their jackets in the cloakroom and Louis immediately heads for the bar. But Harry figures not to order drinks when he sees the small group of people sitting at the bar. Harry recognizes some of the people: the beautiful brown haired girl that goes by the name of Eve and a guy he knows that is a sixth grader at Westminster as well, but he doesn’t know his name. 

Louis greets the people enthusiastically as Harry stands awkwardly by his side. Eve’s eyes light up the moment she says Harry and she waves her hand that isn’t holding her drink at him to come closer. 

“Hi Harry,” she says, a beautiful smile adorning his face. She kisses both his cheeks as he greets her back with a weak ‘hey’. 

She introduces him to other people. Jared is a boy with a constant smile on his face, light brown, extremely messy hair and piercing blue eyes. Jonah is a small and slender guy with blond hair that falls slightly in front of his chocolate brown eyes. He goes to Westminster as well. Fiona is a girl with a petite frame, big caramel eyes and perfectly shaped blonde waves. 

They all greet him back with a smile or a small wave. Louis orders two beers, one for Harry and one for himself. They make a toast for the older boy’s birthday, being the last of his friends to turn eighteen. Louis grins like a fool. 

“Come on, dance with me,” Eve says, grabbing Harry’s third beer and putting it on the table. The other girl, Fiona, and the Westminster guy, Jonah already disappeared somewhere on the dance floor and Louis having a deep conversation with the other guy, Jared. 

Harry lets Eve lead him to dance floor. Eve places her arms around Harry’s neck and smiles at him as Harry puts his hands on her perfectly curved hips, keeping a fair distance between. Harry awkwardly moves on the music as Eve dances with him. Harry doesn’t really know how to dance. 

He quickly puts that behind him and moves along with Eve. The third beer has made him a little tipsy and he doesn’t care if he looks ridiculous or not, he just wants to have some fun. Eve moves a little closer, moving her hips with Harry’s as her laugh rings in his ears. He looks at her with a grin on his face. 

“They’re getting along pretty well, aren’t they?” Jared says, pointing at two dancing together. Louis follows his finger, seeing Harry laughing along with Eve, their faces only a few centimetres away from each other. 

“They’re crushing on each other, I think,” he replies with a shrug of his shoulders. Jared looks at him from the corner of his eyes and sees how Louis’ knuckles turn white as he grabs tightly onto his beer bottle while looking at the two dancing. 

“Lou, you’re going to break the bottle,” Jared says. Louis looks up at him and loosens his grip around the beer, downing the rest of it in one time. Jared eyes him worriedly as Louis orders another beer. It is probably his fifth already. 

It is not like Louis usually doesn’t drink this much, because he does and even more, but Jared suspects him for drinking for the wrong reasons. He doesn’t want Louis to get pissed because he is jealous. He messed up with Eve, but he thought they were fine now. Apparently they aren’t. 

But Jared couldn’t be more wrong. Louis couldn’t care less with how many boys Eve dances or makes out or whatever. But he doesn’t want her to be so close to Harry. He doesn’t want to see how she presses her lips against his. And he especially doesn’t want to see how Harry kisses her back. 

But he does. He does see it all. He guesses that he doesn’t mean anything to Harry other than a friend. That Harry only has kissed him out of pure lust, not because of him. He can’t help but feel a bit used. He thought there was more behind the kisses Harry gave him. 

_Louis._

That is the only thing flashing through Harry’s mind as his lips are pressed against Eve’s. His eyes are closed and his hands on her waist as her hands tangle in his hair. But he doesn’t feel the spark. Not like he felt with Louis. He wouldn’t mind if she would pull back right now. He minded everything Louis took his lips of his. 

So he doesn’t quite understand why licks her bottom lip and shoves his tongue inside as she opens her mouth for him. He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t pull back. Her lips are soft and plump and nothing like Louis’. Even though her lips seem perfect, he likes Louis’ better on his. 

The imagine of Louis’ lips appear in front of his eyes and he can’t help but press his lips harder on Eve’s, thinking it is Louis. But he can’t fool himself. Of course it is not Louis. Louis is standing at the bar, talking to his friend. He probably doesn’t even care that Harry is kissing Eve. 

That is why he doesn’t pull back. Louis probably just doesn’t care who he kisses. He doesn’t really mean anything to Louis. Maybe a friend, but definitely nothing more. Louis isn’t like that. He likes girls. Harry is positive about that. 

But why did he kiss you back then? asks a voice in Harry’s head. 

Lust. It was probably just pure lust. He hadn’t kissed someone in ages and Harry was just the perfect opportunity. Harry kissed him first and Louis just kissed him back. Much like Eve is doing with him right now. She kissed him first, he just kisses her back. 

He suddenly pulls back from Eve and opens his eyes. He doesn’t want to use Eve like he thinks Louis does with him. He doesn’t want her to feel bad afterwards. She is a really sweet girl, but he just doesn’t like her that way. 

“I don’t think this was a good idea,” he mutters. The hurt immediately appears in Eve’s eyes and he can’t stand to look at it any longer. He turns around and walks towards the bar to take a seat next to Louis, who is holding his bottle of beer in a death grip. Louis’ friend, who was talking to him just moments ago, walks away from them towards Eve to dance with her. She shoots Harry a death glare before she turns away from him. 

Harry orders himself a beer. Him and Louis sit in silence next to each other, sipping beer and slowly getting extremely drunk. After a while Louis can’t hold it any longer and just speaks up. “You kissed Eve.”

Harry turns his head just a little too quickly and Louis is a blur for a while before his vision becomes normal again. Louis isn’t looking at him though, instead he stares right in front of him. “Yeah, and I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Now Louis does turn his head to look at Harry as he scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. “Why is that?” He ignores the strange feeling he gets in his chest as Harry speaks those words. 

Harry merely shrugs his shoulders before answering. “Because it was wrong,” he says slowly. “She is supposed to kiss a guy who likes her, or loves her. Not a guy she doesn’t know that well and is half drunk.” 

The feeling in Louis’ chest gets stronger, but he still chooses to ignore it. His eyes widen a little as Harry speaks. “You don’t like Eve?” 

Harry shakes his head, which is a mistake, because the room starts to spin again. “No, I never have,” he says as he his vision goes back to normal. “First I thought so. Now I wish I liked her. I think I hurt her and that’s not what I want.” He lets his head sink into his hands and rubs his eyes. “I don’t know what I feel anymore.”

Louis’ chest feels like exploding, but he still ignores it. Harry has never liked Eve. What if his previous thoughts were wrong and he didn’t use him just as a lust object. He feels like kissing Harry, but he doesn’t. instead he says: “We’ll drink to that.” And turns around to order two beers. 

Harry opens his mouth to ask him why they are going to drink to something like that, but Louis grabs the two bottles of beer and Harry’s arm leads him to the dance floor. Harry looks at Louis with a puzzled look. “Forget about Eve,” Louis shouts over the music to answer Harry’s questioning look. He hands Harry one of the two beer bottles. “Just have some fun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm completely back now


	17. Heavy Thoughts

Harry’s head spins heavily and he is a giggling mess as he and Louis stumble over the front yard. He doesn’t know how they will be able to climb up the drainpipe, but they will have to because he doesn’t feel like sleeping outside in this freezing cold. 

“How are we going to get up there?” Harry asks, stumbling over his words a bit and giggling afterwards. Louis snorts lightly at Harry and how pissed he is. He can’t barely stand up without support. 

“We’ll manage,” Louis says. He has climbed that drainpipe a million times, even when he was drunk. However he is a bit concerned about Harry. He hopes that Harry won’t fall down while climbing up. 

“You go first,” he says while he gives Harry a slight push towards the wall where the drainpipe is attached to. Harry can’t keep his balance, trips over his own feet in the progress and slightly falls against the wall. Louis rolls his eyes. 

Harry slowly starts to climb up. It is not going really fast, but it is going and Harry hasn’t made an attempt to fall yet. That doesn’t stop Louis from standing underneath him, ready to catch if he would fall down. But he doesn’t and gets into his room safely. Louis follows a bit faster. 

By time Louis is completely in the room and closed the window behind him, Harry has stripped down _all_ his clothes and is running naked towards his bed. He doesn’t mind that Louis sees all of it, he wouldn’t have minded even he wouldn’t have been drunk.

Harry grabs tightly onto Louis’ wrists, pulling him closer. He places his hands on Louis’ shoulder, carelessly shoving his jacket onto the ground. Louis looks at him as he does so, his greenish blue eyes staring into Harry emerald ones. A small smirk appears on his face. 

Harry presses his lips fiercely on Louis’. He immediately licks Louis’ bottom lip to make him open his mouth and pushes his tongue inside the moment Louis does so. He grips on Louis’ back, pressing him against his bare torso. Louis can feel Harry’s body heath through his shirt. 

Louis takes his mouth off of Harry’s and looks at him for a while, smirk plastered on his face. Then he aims for Harry’s neck, sucking and biting on the skin, leaving an obvious mark. Harry tilts his head back to grant Louis more access, which Louis immediately takes advantage of, sucking below Harry’s ear and nibbling on his earlobe. 

Louis smirks as he earns a loud moan from Harry, sucking harder while Harry’s hands sneak under Louis shirt, roaming the tanned skin of his torso. He digs his nails into Louis’ flesh as Louis lets his teeth sink into the skin of Harry’s neck. But Louis takes his hands and pulls them away. “Don’t do that,” he whispers in Harry’s ear, his voice low, making Harry shiver. 

Harry looks in Louis’ eyes as he walks backwards, letting himself fall down when the back of his knees hit the bed. He tugs on Louis shirt, pulling him on top of him, not breaking their eye contact once. Louis places his legs on either side of Harry’s, hovering above him as a small smile plays on his lips. 

Harry can’t hold himself anymore, wanting to taste Louis over and over again. He leans up and presses his lips forcefully against his. Louis hands immediately tangle in Harry’s hair as their lips move in sync. But Harry breaks the kiss for a split seconds, pulling Louis’ shirt over his head in a quick motion. 

Louis is surprised for a moment, but then smirks at the boy who is laying beneath him. He connects his lips to Harry’s collarbone, sucking and biting on the skin, getting a low moan in return. He starts to suck harder, making his way down Harry’s torso, earning more sweet sounds from the younger boy. 

Harry’s back slightly arches off of the mattress, his bare hips brushing against Louis’ stomach. Louis smirks as he can feel Harry’s excitement pressing against his belly. He comes up, sucking on the skin below Harry’s ear. “Want me to take care of that,” he whispers seductively in his ear. 

He can feel Harry shiver beneath him, while he slightly nods his head. Louis smiles reassuring at him as he starts to trail kisses on Harry’s torso again. Louis then grabs Harry’s length in his hands, making Harry’s bag arch off of the mattress, moaning loudly while pleasure floods through his body. 

Louis bends down and licks the head teasingly before taking him fully in his mouth. Louis can’t help but smirk a little while sweet sounds keep escaping Harry’s mouth. Pleasure rolls in waves through his whole body, making his toes curl. His hands travel down Louis’ body, digging his nails in his tan flesh as Louis runs his tongue up and down Harry’s shaft. 

Harry releases soon after, breathing loudly. Louis sits up, looking at Harry while the younger boy momentarily closes his eyes before looking back at him. A small smile appears on his lips as he mentions for Louis to come lay next to him. Louis shrugs off his pants, which came painfully tight around his crotch, before obliging. 

Harry snuggles his head in the crook of Louis’ neck, his breathing making Louis shiver. “You know I could take care of that,” he says, his voice hoarse as he rubs his hands over the only fabric that is left on Louis’ body. Louis gasps at the touch before his eyes meet Harry’s. Harry knows that it is exactly what Louis wants. He presses their lips together as he crawls on top of the older boy. 

The rolls are turned now. 

Harry’s eyes snap open as he feels his stomach turning and knitting to together to the point where it is too uncomfortable to stay in bed. He half crawls, half falls out of bed, making his way towards the door to run to the toilet when he realizes he is very much naked. He knows he won’t make the toilet in time as he stays to put on his boxers and he is never really been ashamed to walk around naked. 

So he just throws open the door, runs down the corridor and is just in time to kneel down in front of the toilet bowl. He throws the contents of his stomach up into the toilet, groaning in pain as he clutches his stomach with both his arms before throwing up a second time. His stomach calms down a bit after a while. It is about then that he feels how hard his head is throbbing. 

He slowly gets up, making sure to not move his head too much so the pain won’t get worse. He tries to think about what exactly happened last night. He escaped Westminster again, with Louis by his side. Of course with Louis by his, it was Louis’ idea. He remembers that they went to a pub and something caused him to drink way too much to remember the rest of the night. 

He walks through the corridor back to his room as his door suddenly opens, almost slamming him right in the face. A semi naked Louis’ runs out of his room towards the bathroom at the end of the corridor. He hears to sounds of someone throwing up and he knows that Louis is just as hung over as he is. 

A couple of minutes later, a very pale looking Louis comes back into his room. Harry lays on his bed, only opening one eye to look at him. Louis lets himself collapse on Liam’s bed, which is a mistake as his head starts to throb harder because of the too quick motion and he groans in pain. 

“Is your head killing you just as much as mine killing me?” Louis asks, closing his eyes to block out the light. He lets his head sink into the soft pillow, smelling the boy who usually occupies the bed. 

“Probably not,” Harry groans as a reply. “It’s probably way worse.” His eyes are closed as well and he rubs his wild curls out of them. He has covered himself with some boxers while Louis’ was throwing up. 

“Impossible,” Louis replies. 

Harry opens his eyes, turning his head to look at the older boy in the other bed. His eyes are closed and he just looks so goddamn beautiful. “Louis, what exactly happened last night?” Harry asks him. 

Louis opens his eyes as well, rolling his head to the side of the bed. Louis doesn’t know how he does. Harry looks so tired and pale and he still manages to look extremely attractive. “I think we partied pretty hard.” 

Harry snorts loudly, instantly regretting it as the snort turns into a groan of pain. That is pretty, obvious, having a killer hangover like this. Hard they partied. But he feels at the pit of him stomach that there is something important missing. 

Louis chuckles softly, looking at Harry with a little sparkle of joy in his eyes. “I remember when we came back, I wasn’t even in your room yet and you were already naked.” Harry blushes at the thought of it. That really sounds like him. 

“And then you kissed me,” Louis says, looking at the wall while he talks. The smile slowly fades from his face, but his look isn’t sad. It is just… thoughtful. Harry guesses that is the best way to describe it. 

“You were naked and you kissed me. You started to take half of my clothes as well. And we kissed. And you pulled me on top of you while you were laying in your bed. You got really excited. And I...” Louis’ voice slowly trails off, his mouth slightly hanging open as he shifts his gaze to look at Harry. 

Harry doesn’t need Louis to continue. He knows exactly what happened last night, the image lively replaying in his head. He can’t get over how good it felt, how much pleasure he experienced last night. He didn’t even know it was possible. 

“Do you regret it?” Harry asks, meeting Louis’ dazzling eyes. 

Louis slightly shakes his head. “No.” 

Harry feels a wave of relief washing over him. He gives Louis a small smile. “Me neither,” he says as Louis smiles back at him. 

“Good.”

Louis rolls his head on the pillow again and closes his eyes. After a few moments Harry hears that his breathing has slowed down and that he has fallen asleep again. Harry decides that it is probably the best for himself as well to get some more sleep. Maybe the headache will die down a bit. 

So soon he breaths slow down as well and he falls into a deep slumber where he relives his night with Louis over and over again. A smile appears on his face while he continues sleeping, rolling over, cuddling with his pillow. 

And that is how they spent the majority of their day, sleeping. Harry in his own bed, Louis in Liam’s bed. Harry with his first happy dream for a while, while Louis’ sleep is finally dreamless after month of having nightmares. 

They don’t realize what kind of affect they have on each other.


	18. Welcome Back

The remaining days of the winter break were mostly spent inside. A couple of days after Louis’ birthday it finally started snowing, leaving a beautiful carpet of white fluffiness on the grounds of Westminster. Harry and Louis went outside, joined with some other people, and had a massive snowball fight. They were cold and wet when they went back inside, but a huge grin was plastered on each face. 

Harry received a call from his parents and sister to wish him a merry Christmas. Their conversation was short, though as he didn’t really wanted to talk to them. His sister had asked him to come home to next break, but he had refused, telling her that he is perfectly fine here. 

Which wasn’t a complete lie. Him and Louis didn’t sneak out during the day anymore, afraid that they would get caught again. But that didn’t stop them from sneaking out during the night. Everyone is asleep when they leave and no one ever sees them. 

But right now, they find themselves sitting in Harry’s room on the last day of the break. They aren’t really looking forward to school again, but Harry thinks it isn’t that bad compared to his punishment for sneaking out. Though his punishment isn’t as bad as Louis’ is and he is glad now that he didn’t open his mouth to Mrs Jameson. 

“Eve called me yesterday,” Louis says, turning his head to look at Harry. Harry is sitting on his own bed, his back pressed up against the wall, while his head leans on the other wall, almost touching Louis’ shoulder. Louis’ bare feet are propped up in Harry’s lap. “She’s pissed at you.” 

The look in Harry’s eyes saddened a bit as a feeling of guilt washes over him. He feels bad for kissing her the other night and he knows he shouldn’t have done it. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.” 

“I know you didn’t mean to, but you did,” Louis replies, making Harry feel even worse. Hearing a confirmation for someone else just made the feeling so much worse. He hates to know that he hurt her, because she didn’t do anything to deserve it. “Apparently she actually liked you and now she feels pretty used.” 

“I didn’t mean to,” Harry mumbles again, lacking actual arguments. Louis doesn’t take his eyes off of him and Harry feels his stare burning holes in his head. 

“I know, Harry. But an apology wouldn’t hurt,” Louis says, nudging Harry in his arm, making him look up at him. “Apologize to her when she comes back.” 

Harry slightly nods his head. “If she would want to listen to me.” He lifts his eyes and looks into Louis’ beautiful greenish blue ones. He is sure that Louis wouldn’t be too pleased if he didn’t apologize to her. They are probably friends for ages and he remembers when Louis threatened him if he would break her heart when him and Eve first started talking. 

“Make her,” Louis says, a small smirk appearing on his face. It immediately lightens the mood. Louis feels Harry’s hot breath in his neck as his head moves a little and it sends shivers down his spine, unwillingly leaning his head closer to his. 

But he sits immediately up when he hears the door behind him open. Harry also moves his head away and looks at the door opening, where Liam is standing with his suitcase in one hand, his phone in the other while he is calling someone, and a backpack slung over his shoulder. 

“I’ll talk to you later,” he says in the phone before ending the call. He looks at the two boys on Harry’s bed, his eyes shifting between their faces as confusion clouds his eyes. He knows that Harry and Louis got along, but he didn’t know they are this close. 

“Liam, you’re back,” Harry says, grinning at Liam as he shoves Louis’ feet off of his lap and standing up from the bed. Louis doesn’t move, though, letting his feet fall to the ground. He merely looks at Liam, his eyes not really showing that he wants Liam to be here. But you know, Liam looks kind of the same way at him. 

“Yeah, I am,” Liam says, taking his eyes off of Louis and looking at Harry instead. He smiles as he sees Harry’s eyes shining brightly. He seems genuinely happy that Liam is back and it warms Liam’s heart. 

“So how were your holidays?” Harry asks as Liam places his suitcase at the food end of his bed, leaving to unpack later and takes a seat on the bed. He lays his backpack aside and takes off his jacket before meeting Harry’s eyes. 

“They were fine,” he replies. “Spent some time with my family, had a lovely Christmas.” He places his phone on his bedside table and takes off his scarf, trying to avoid Louis’ staring gaze. What is wrong with that boy? “What did you guys do?” 

Harry looks briefly over to Louis as the thinks for a second. They had spent a fair amount of time in either his or Louis’ room, just talking for hours, fooling around a bit. They also had snuck out a fair few times and the nights they had spent inside their rooms they had mostly made out for a while. Nothing he actually wants to tell Liam.

“Oh you know. Just hanging around a bit. Enjoying the beautiful winter weather,” he replies, not completely lying. They had done, they had just done a lot more as well. But he knows that Liam wouldn’t be too pleased if he would tell him the full truth. Or he wouldn’t even want to look at Harry anymore. 

“Cool,” Liam says before getting off of his bed. “I’m going to take a shower,” he announces, taking some clean clothes from his suitcase and leaving the room. Louis’ face is immediately close Harry’s again the moment Liam shuts the door behind him. Harry shivers when Louis’ hot breath hits his face. 

“Why didn’t you tell him what we really did?” Louis says, smirking at how startled he looks. “Scared that his innocent little ears wouldn’t be able to handle it.” Louis sits back again as he keeps glaring at Harry with a smirk plastered on his face. Cocky Louis is back. 

“You aren’t going to tell him, are you?” Harry asks, his eyes widening at the thought. “You aren’t going to tell anyone, are you?” 

Louis shakes his head, still smirking at Harry. “Of course not,” he says, coming closer to Harry’s face again. He softly presses his lips to Harry’s, but they are gone as quick as they came. “Our little secret.” 

Harry smiles gratefully at him. “Thanks,” he mumbles quietly. “But no need to be mean towards him.” He looks up at Louis, his voice louder again. 

Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry. “You hurt my friends, I hurt yours.” 

Harry shakes his head at Louis’ lame argument. Is he really going to play that game? “I’m going to apologize to her tomorrow, so no need to be a dick,” he says. “Besides, I have taken the time to get to know her, you haven’t even tried.” 

“You want me to be friends with Mr Serious?” Louis asks, his eyebrow raising higher, if that is even possible. Harry grins, not really seeing them actually being friends, but he nods his head. 

“Yup, that’s exactly what I want,” he says, popping the ‘p’. That is the moment that the door opens again and Liam walks into the room freshly washed. Louis leans backwards again, keeping some distance between him and Harry. 

Louis gets completely off of the bed and opens his mouth to say something, but before a sound comes from his lips, the door bursts open again, revealing a way too hyper blond, Irishman. Louis’ eyes widen at the sight of him. 

“Harry!” Niall half yells, throwing his arms around Harry’s neck. Harry tenses up a bit at the sudden contact coming from the smaller boy. He looks helplessly at Liam, who only shrugs his shoulders. He then awkwardly wraps his arms around Niall as well. 

“It’s good to see you, too,” he says, chuckling a bit as Niall pulls back. He sees Louis raising his eyebrows at him from behind Niall. He notices that Liam sees it as well and his eyes darken at the sight of it. He knows that Liam won’t be a dick towards Louis, but it is pretty obvious that they share the same kind of feelings towards each other. 

Louis clears his throat, making Niall turn around and look at him with a frown on his face. “Oh, you are here, too,” he says as realization spreads across his face. It didn’t sound unfriendly, but it doesn’t make Louis feel welcomed, either. 

“Yeah, I’m here, too,” he replies. “But I was about to leave.” He looks into Harry’s eyes for a brief moment before turning on his heels and walking out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. It is silence for a moment before Niall speaks up. 

“I’ve always thought he is a weird boy,” he says. Harry shoots him a glare, but doesn’t say anything. They don’t know Louis. Not like Harry does. They haven’t even taken the time. So they have no right to say if he is a weird boy or not. 

“I don’t like him,” Liam says bluntly, surprising Harry with his honesty. He looks at Liam with his eyebrows raised. 

“And why is that?” he asks. 

Liam shrugs his shoulder. “I don’t really know. He’s got that cold attitude. He looks at people like he wants to kill them,” he says, taking a seat on his bed again. He glares at Harry like he is challenging him to prove the opposite. 

“Well, he definitely didn’t look that way at Harry,” Niall says. He looks between the two of them before taking a seat next to Liam on his bed.

Harry doesn’t answer. He feels his panic slightly raising, giving a quick tug on his heart. He wonders if Niall sees through them? And if he really does, then what would he do about it? He probably wouldn’t look at him the same way anymore. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Liam asks, furrowing his eyebrow at Niall. 

Niall shrugs his shoulders. “Just that he doesn’t seem to want to kill Harry,” is his reply. Harry chuckles at him. Niall’s remark are clever sometimes, but other times he can just be so extremely dumb and oblivious. 

“He doesn’t look at people like he wants to kill them,” Harry says. “He is just a little distant, needs some time to let someone in.” Harry sighs, letting himself fall on his bed. “Just give him a chance, he is a totally different person when you get to know him better.” 

Liam shrugs his shoulder, suppressing a big yawn. “Whatever,” he mumbles, before shoving Niall off of his bed with his feet and laying down. Niall falls on the ground with a pout on his face, sending a puppy dog look at Liam. Liam merely chuckles at him. 

“I’m going back,” Niall says while getting up from the floor. “It’s almost past curfew.” Harry and Liam bid their goodbyes at him before he leaves the room as well. Liam changes in his pyjamas and Harry just strips down his clothes. He doesn’t care if Liam is uncomfortable if he is naked. 

He crawls in bed and closes his eyes, trying to find sleep. But sleep seems to run away from him and he is not able to catch it. When he finally manages to get it, he falls into a restless slumber, his dreams not so good as when Louis sleeps next to him. 

_“Harry, please tell me the truth.”_

_I let my head fall into my hands and rub my eyes forcefully. Why does everyone keep demanding me to tell them the truth when that is exactly what I’m doing? Why does no one believe me when I say things that are true, but believe me when I confirm what they think, even though it is a lie._

_“That is exactly what I’m doing, mum.”_

_I grow impatient and she does, too. She starts to get angry with me. I don’t understand why she doesn’t believe me. The good things are the truth, yet she wants to believe the bad things. I don’t get her sometimes._

_“I don’t see why you’re still trying to keep up the act.”_

_She shakes her head, disappointment obviously present in her eyes. To be honest, I’m just as disappointed in them as they are in me. But the difference is that they are disappointed for all the wrong reasons. They don’t even have to be disappointed in me._

_“Why won’t you believe me? I’m caught, if it were actually true, I would’ve admitted it by now.”_

_Her sad eyes meet mine. A silent tear slips out of the corner of her eye and rolls down her cheek. Right now I know that my relationship with my mother will never be the same again. We used to be so close, but she broke it all right now._

_“I’m not stupid.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all really lovely! Thank you for giving me feedback and appreciation. I reall appreciate it!


	19. Going The Wrong Direction

_“We found love in a hopeless place, we found love in a hopeless place.”_

Harry groans as Rihanna’s voice fills his and Liam’s room. He crawls underneath his blanket, desperately trying to block out all light and sound. He definitely hasn’t missed Liam’s alarm clock during the winter break. 

He groans again, throwing the blanket off of his naked body. The music has stopped and Liam is already fully dressed when Harry walks towards his closet to take out his uniform and throws it carelessly on. 

Liam and Harry go down together for breakfast, meeting up with Zayn and Niall in the canteen. Zayn looks like he could have used a couple of hours more sleep and Niall is already stuffing his face with as much food as possible. 

Harry looks around the canteen as he takes a seat at the table, his eyes finding Louis sitting at a table with the sixth grade bullies. Harry furrows his eyebrows. Doesn’t Louis normally eat with Mona? Why is he eating with those the bullies? Harry doesn’t like the bullies and doesn’t understand why Louis hangs with them out in the first place. 

Louis’ eyes look up for a brief moment, meeting Harry’s. He flashes Harry a small grin before looking away from him again. Harry stares at him for a longer while – he is almost positive that Louis knows that he is staring, because of the small smirk that is playing around Louis’ lips.

Harry’s first period of the day is English. He likes to think it is a nice start of the week because Mrs Clearwater is a nice lady. She takes it slow the first day of the week and they all very much appreciate that. 

What they don’t appreciate so much is Mr Carter’s math classes. He never takes it slow no matter what day or period it is. He knows that he is annoying the shit out of his pupils and he even enjoys it. 

The periods after the short break are geography and history. Harry doesn’t like those courses in general, no matter how nice his teachers are. But it makes it less painful when his teachers are a bit nice, which luckily they are. 

When lunch break rolls around he has to go to the kitchen to help out with the lunch lady for his first shift in the canteen. Mrs Marston greets him with a big smile and a least pleasant task. “You can start with filling the pupils plate,” she tells him. “I’ll take over after forty-five minutes. Then you can start cleaning off the tables.” 

Harry sighs and takes the plastic apron, hairnet and gloves that Mrs Marston gives him. Yes, it looks extremely ridiculous and yes, he knows he is going to be laughed at, but he can’t really refuse. It is already a punishment. 

The sixth graders are the first ones allowed in the canteen and he is immediately greeted by a big grin on Duncan’s face along with a devilish grin. He gives Harry his plate while making comments. “You look really good in a hairnet, Styles,” he says. “You definitely should wear it more often.” 

Harry doesn’t answer, but only glares at him while he puts Duncan’s plate down on his tray, a little too hard so some food splashes around. Duncan doesn’t even acknowledges it and walks away from him with a grin on his face. 

“Nice apron,” the next one says. Harry turns his head to give the person a death glare, but he sees that it is only a grinning Louis. 

Harry raises an eyebrow at him. “I would like to see what you are going to wear when you clean the bathrooms tonight,” he says as Louis’ grin falls. 

“That’s not funny,” Louis says while giving Harry his plate so he can put the lasagne on it. Harry only laughs. 

“You make fun of me, I make fun of you,” he says using Louis’ technique when he said that if Harry hurts his friends, he will hurt Harry’s friends. 

“Nice one, kitchen princess,” Louis says, knowing where Harry is referring to. He gives Harry another grin and then walk away to sit with his friends. 

A couple of minutes later Harry is met with an angry looking Eve. She gives him a death glare as she give him her plate. Harry’s eyes sadden when he remembers he still has to apologize to her for the other night. But she cuts him off before a sound comes out of his agape mouth. “Don’t talk to me,” she snaps, pulling her plate out of Harry’s hands and walking away. 

He stares at her back as she walks away from him when someone clears their throat. He turns around to look into some beautiful greenish eyes of a girl with a pretty face and long, wavy blond hair. “I don’t want to nosy, but what did you do to her?” Mona asks. “She usually isn’t one for getting angry.” 

“Something I shouldn’t have done,” he mumbles, grapping her plate to fill it with lasagne. He doesn’t look at her as she walks away from him. He fills plate after plate, not looking at the pupils passing by. He knows that most of them make fun of him for having to work with the lunch lady. 

“Harry!” The voice makes Harry snaps his head up, looking at the people for the first time in minutes. “What are you doing here?” Niall asks, his eyes clouded with confusion. “No one ever volunteers to work with the lunch lady.” 

“I didn’t volunteer,” Harry says, grabbing Niall’s plate, filling it with an extra-large portion. “It’s a ‘punishment’.” 

“A little bit more,” Niall says with a glance on his plate. Harry chuckles a bit at the big appetite of the small boy. “What did you do?”

Harry fills up the plate a bit more, not looking up when he answers. “I got off the school grounds in the holiday break.” 

“With Tomlinson?” Harry looks up to see Niall’s eyebrows raised. Harry mimics him at the sound of Niall calling Louis by his last name. 

He pushes Niall’s plate back in his hands. “Yes, with _Louis_ ,” he says, stressing Louis’ first name. 

“You’re weird,” Niall says with a snort before walking away. The next one in line is Liam and he has a frown on his face, not looking too happy with what he just heard. Harry raises an eyebrow at him. 

“You went off the school grounds with Tomlinson?” Liam hisses, as Harry forcefully grabs his plate. “What were you thinking?” 

Harry looks him dead in the eye as he answers. “I was thinking about having some fun, instead of being trapped into this shit hole.” He places some lasagne on Liam’s plate a bit too hard, so the lasagne splashes everywhere. He doesn’t care, though. 

“You were the one who choose to stay at school during the holiday break,” Liam shoots back, pulling the plate from Harry’s hand and putting it on his tray with just as much as force as Harry has put the lasagne on the plate. 

“Honestly, Liam I don’t see your problem with him,” Harry says, avoiding to reply on Liam’s previous statement. He did chose to stay at school after all. Even though he doesn’t like this place at all, he is rather here than at home. 

Liam doesn’t answer, though. He just glares at Harry before turning away and walking towards the table Niall has taken a seat at. Zayn is the next one in line, but before Harry can take his plate, Mrs Marston comes in between the two of them. 

“Take a minute off, honey,” she says, grabbing his spoon. “To eat something.” She fills a plate for him and shoves him towards the eating area of the canteen. Harry looks around the canteen. He doesn’t know if he should take a seat at the table of his friends after his little argument with Liam. 

“Are you lonely?” a voice whispers in his ear. The breath hitting the skin of his neck makes him shiver and he immediately knows who is standing next to him. “I am here to keep you company.” Harry can almost hear the smirk in his voice. 

He looks from the floor to be met with some beautiful greenish blue eyes and he grins at Louis’ back, who is walking towards a table already. Harry quickly follows behind, shooting a quick glance towards the table of his friends. Liam is looking at him with a look in his eyes that Harry can’t read. Zayn is sitting next to him, his eyebrows raised as he looks at Harry. Niall isn’t aware of all of it, since his back is facing Harry. 

Harry turns away from them, taking a seat in front of Louis. Louis looks at him with curious eyes as Harry starts to slowly eat. “I’m sorry if I caused any trouble between you and your friends,” Louis suddenly says. 

Harry’s fork freezes mid-air. He didn’t expect Louis to apologize, definitely not about something like this. He lifts his eyes to meet up with Louis’ and they are truly showing the sorry. To say that Harry is surprised is an understatement. Louis looks like a person who doesn’t quickly say he is sorry and meaning it. 

“It’s not your fault,” Harry mumbles, still a bit caught off guard because Louis’ sudden apology. But it really isn’t his fault. He is just being himself and Liam can clearly not appreciate it. He can’t help but think that Liam has to loosen up a bit. 

“Sure.” Louis gives him a small smile, another thing that surprises Harry. “Did you talk to Eve yet?” Louis asks to change the subject. 

Harry sadly shakes his head. “I hadn’t even said a word yet and she already snapped at me,” he says, turning his eyes to his plate, taking a small bite of lasagne. 

“Maybe we should force her to listen to you,” Louis says. “I’m sure you have a good explanation.” He raises his eyebrows questioningly at Harry as the younger boy nods his head.

But does he really have a good explanation? He doesn’t have an explanation why he kissed her, but he has an explanation of why he pulled back and told her that it wasn’t a good idea to kiss her. Does that count as well? 

“Mr Styles,” a voice interrupts his thoughts. He looks up to be met with a pair of dull, old eyes that belong to Mrs Marston. “You have to start cleaning the tables, honey.” She gives him a sweet smile before she walks away, shooing away some people that are already sitting too long in the canteen. 

Harry sighs and shoves his last bite into his mouth. Louis gets up and grabs his tray. He smirks at Harry. “Have fun cleaning the tables, honey,” he says, copying the high-pitched voice of the lunch lady. 

Harry sticks his tongue at him before grabbing his own tray and walking back into the kitchen to get a cleaning rag. The canteen is almost empty when he walks back in and he starts to clean the all tables – which is a lot. It goes much too slow for Harry’s liking and some people are really disgusting when they eat, leaving behind half of their plates. 

When he dumps the now dirty rag into the sink of the kitchen, Mrs Marston finally lets him go. He sighs, taking of his plastic apron, gloves and hairnet and getting out of the canteen as quick as possible. He isn’t quite sure if he is going to be able to do this for four weeks. That is a long time. Well, at least he didn’t get eight weeks, like Louis did. 

He is the last one to enter his class of Spanish and he lets out another sigh when places himself next to Niall. Niall only gives him a sideways glance, but doesn’t say anything to him. It is a little odd, especially when comes to Niall, because Niall always chats the ears of Harry’s head, never shutting up. And most of time there is a large grin on his face. 

But he doesn’t talk to Harry and he doesn’t grin, either. Harry frowns a little. Did he do something wrong? He opens his mouth to ask Niall, but that is the moment that Mrs Francisco gets up from her seat and starts the class. Harry closes his mouth, glancing at Niall from the corner of his eyes. 

Why does everyone seem to be angry with him?


	20. It's Alright

Niall gets up the moment the bell rings and gets out of the classroom as quick as possible. He hasn’t said a word to Harry during the whole period. And even though Niall didn’t say anything – he usually talks a lot – Harry still couldn’t concentrate. Hey quickly gets up as well to go after Niall. 

“Niall!” Harry yells at his back. Niall can’t help it, he turns around to look at Harry. He doesn’t really want to, but he would never be able to ignore Harry. 

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks him as he turns his face to the curly haired boy. “What aren’t you talking to me?” 

Niall doesn’t really think he has to explain to Harry. How can he not notice what is going on? He thinks it is pretty obvious. But he answers anyway. “You ditched us during lunch,” he says, his voice a little hurt. “You ditched us for Tomlinson.” 

Harry feels a wave of guilt washing over him as he hears to hurt in Niall’s face. His eyes are big and Harry can’t help but think how cute and vulnerable he looks. “I- I didn’t mean to,” he stutters a little and he hates it. “It’s just- Liam and I had an argument and I thought he didn’t really want me around.” 

“Bullocks!” Niall says suddenly loudly, not sounding like a hurt puppy anymore. “Liam does want you around and he doesn’t like it when you fight with him.” Harry’s eyes widen a little a that statement. He didn’t really realize that. 

“But he hates Louis before actually getting to know him,” Harry says, trying to defend himself. He doesn’t like to fight with Liam as well, but doesn’t understand his hatred towards Louis. “Louis hasn’t done anything to him.” 

Niall sighs loudly, making clear that Harry doesn’t understand anything of it. “But that’s the point,” he says, his look saddening a little again. But it is a different kind of sadness. It is more like being sorry for someone else. 

Harry furrows his eyebrows, absolutely not understanding what Niall is talking about. “I don’t get it,” he says, trying to make Niall explain things. “If that’s the point then I don’t see a point in Liam hating him.”

Niall sighs again, dropping his bag from his shoulder to the ground like this might take a while. “I don’t know if I should tell you this,” he says, “but Liam used to get bullied.” Harry’s eyes widen. But he doesn’t say anything and lets Niall continue. 

“It was before I was here, in first and second grade. He got bullied by Tomlinson’s friends. You know, Duncan and his gang. Tomlinson himself didn’t do anything, but he watched and didn’t stop them. That’s why Liam hates him.” 

Harry immediately feels guilty for defending Louis. He didn’t know Liam get bullied by his friends while Louis watched. He gets it now, the hate. And he seen Louis doing it himself. When Harry bumped into Duncan and Duncan had threatened him, all his friends had cheered and stuff like that. Louis had just stood by and had watched, but he hadn’t done anything to stop Duncan. 

“I should go apologize to Liam,” Harry mumbles, looking up at Niall’s face. Niall gives him a nod and then a small smile. Harry lets out a sigh of relief. At least Niall isn’t mad at him anymore. 

Together they start to walk towards the Hall. That is where they find Liam and Zayn. Liam doesn’t look mad when his eyes meet Harry’s, but he doesn’t look too pleased, either. Niall convinces Zayn to go with him to the canteen to get something small to eat so Harry and Liam are alone. 

Liam stands awkwardly next to him, avoiding his gaze as Harry tries to find the words. “I’m sorry,” he eventually saying, thinking it would be the most effective. 

And it is. Liam looks up at him, surprise written all over his face. His look changed a bit, less awkward, a little more pleased to see Harry or hear him talking. Harry takes this as his cue to continue, now that he knows that Liam is listening. 

“Niall told me, you know,” he says. “About you and Louis. I didn’t know that. I wouldn’t have been so mean towards you if I would have known.” He hopes that Liam won’t get know at Niall for telling him the story, but he doesn’t think so. 

“I know,” Liam answers. “I just realized that you didn’t know that. So I’m sorry as well.” He offers Harry a small smile which Harry gladly returns. He realizes that it doesn’t take a lot to make Liam forgive him. Maybe he just easily finds the right words that Liam wants hear or something. 

His smile fades a bit as he realizes that it probably won’t be so easy to make Eve forgive him. He still owes her an apology as well. Man, he really fucked up these past few these. He is been able to get three people mad at him – four if you count Mrs Jameson with them. 

“I think I should go now,” Liam says as the bell rings. He gives Harry a last reassuring smile before he walks away towards his next class. Harry starts to slowly walk towards his own class when Zayn catches up with him. His next class is chemistry which he has together with him. 

“So you and Liam made up?” he asks. Harry gives him a nod of his head and Zayn smiles at him, happy that he friend aren’t mad at each other anymore. But his smile fades a little when he speaks his next words. “Don’t let Tomlinson come between you and your friends. He isn’t worth it.” 

But what if he is? Louis is more worth to Harry than Zayn, Niall and Liam think. They think that he is just a simple friend, but he isn’t. Unless you make out with your friends and feel the electricity running through your whole body while you do so. Or unless that your friends take your breath away when they shoot one of their beautiful – and rare – smiles your way. 

But Harry doesn’t say anything about that. It is their little secret, Zayn doesn’t have to know. But it would be nice if they all would get along with Louis. But that is obviously not going to happen anytime soon. They only way that it might happen is if Louis’ apologizes to Liam and Harry doesn’t think that that will happen. 

Chemistry goes by way too slow for Harry’s liking. Mr Wilson is an extremely old man and it could have been interesting if he weren’t so boring. He talks really slow, taking deep breaths from time to time like just talking already exhausts him. Harry is actually kind of afraid that he will fall to the ground and just simply die. 

But he doesn’t. So he will have to listen to him again tomorrow when he has physics. And his next period is just as boring. French with old Mrs Pais. And Niall again. This time Niall does chat to him all the time and Harry can’t keep the smile of his face. He actually doesn’t mind this time. 

But his mood instantly drops when he notices Eve walking out of her class when after French. This is probably the time to go up to her and apologize. He did say to Louis that he would do it today and it is probably his last chance. 

He tells Niall that he will catch up with him later and walks towards the beautiful brunette. He clears his throat making, her turn around. Her eyes immediately darken the moment her gaze meets his. He can that she is pretty mad. 

“I told you before that I don’t want to talk to you,” she says, her voice just as hard as her eyes. He never noticed how cold she could sound. Her voice is usually really warm and friendly and it just makes you happy hearing it. Now it makes chills run down Harry’s spine. 

“You don’t have to talk,” he replies. “You just have to listen.” She raises an eyebrow but doesn’t make an attempt to walk away from him. He takes this as his cue to continue. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I never meant to do that. And I shouldn’t have kissed you back.” 

“But then why did you do it?” she asks, her cold attitude drops a bit and Harry can see the hurt in her eyes. He instantly feels guilty again. He doesn’t want to hurt her. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but yet he finds himself hurting almost everyone that is a little close to him. 

“I was a little too caught up in the moment,” he explains. “And I have a little bit too much to drink. I thought I liked you, I honestly did. And I’m really sorry, but I don’t feel it. I think I just confused my feelings a little.” And there he finds himself spilling all his feelings. 

“I told you that it wasn’t a good idea because you don’t need a wanker as me. You deserve someone better. Someone who really loves you. I like you, I really do, but only as a friend,” he says finally daring to look up at her. He sees sympathy in her eyes and he feels a relief washing over him. “I’m sorry, I was just stupid.” 

She smiles. “It’s alright, Harry,” she says. “Just don’t do it again, okay?” He smiles as well and nod his head, assuring her that he would never ever do something of that sort again. He is so glad that she isn’t mad at him anymore and it went way easier that he thought. Maybe she secretly likes him too much to stay mad at him.

He then feels an arm wrap around his shoulder. But it isn’t Eve’s. He looks up to be met with Louis’ greenish blue eyes and notices that his other arm is wrapped around Eve’s neck. “So you two made up now?” he asks them, his eyes big and innocent, like a cute little puppy. 

“Yeah, we did,” Eve says, smiling at Louis. “And you’re an asshole.” 

Louis puts on a fake hurt look. “And why is that?” 

“I don’t know, you just are,” Eve replies with a grin. Harry laughs at Louis’ hurt face and pokes him in the sides. Louis turns his face to now pout at Harry, making Harry chuckle again. He just looks too cute. 

He eyes Louis’ stuck out bottom lip. He has the sudden urge to press his own lips against it, biting it softly to make Louis moan. To feel their tongues dancing together, both fighting for dominance. To put his hands underneath Louis’ shirt, roaming his smooth and tan skin. 

He tears his gaze away from Louis’ lips as Eve speaks up again. “I’m hungry. Are we going for dinner?” she asks them, rubbing her tummy. 

Louis gives her a slight push, taking his arm away from her neck. “You go already, I’ll be right up.” Eve simply shrugs her shoulder as she walks away from them. 

Louis and Harry’s lips collide the moment Eve disappears out of the corridor, leaving it empty aside from Louis and Harry. The moment his lips meet Louis’ he realizes how much he has missed them. He licks Louis’ lip in anticipation, making him opening his mouth. Harry pushes his tongue inside and moans in pleasure. 

Louis breaks their kiss as soon as the sound escapes Harry’s mouth. “Don’t be too loud,” he whispers, softly pecking Harry’s lips and then he pulls him with him towards the canteen to grab their dinner. They go in line together, but Harry then takes a seat with his friends while Louis walks over towards the table with Duncan and his stupid gang. 

Harry still doesn’t understand why he hangs out with them. Even less after Niall’s story. They aren’t just annoying, they actually bully people. He makes a mental note to talk about that with Louis. He wants to know why he didn’t do anything when Liam got bullied and just watched. 

He tries to not think about that for a moment and concentrates on his food. The four boys get joined by Liam’s girlfriend and her two friends. It feels to Harry like it has been a long time since he last seen them. But then he remembers that they are in his English class and that he saw them this morning. 

He also notices Niall and Sienna glancing at each other the hole time. He eyes Niall as he slightly blushes and looks away from her. Harry nudges him with his arm. “Why are still just looking at her?” he whispers. “Make an actual conversation, I’m sure she’ll like it.” 

Niall’s eyes widen a bit as he just has been caught by Harry. Then he slightly blushes again. “You think?” he asks softly, trying to keep his voice down so Harry is the only one that hears him. 

Harry rolls his eyes. “I’m positive,” he says in a duh-tone. “She looks at you just like you look at her.” And then a wide smile stretches itself across Niall’s face. Harry grins at him as he starts talking to Sienna, her pale cheeks turning pink.


	21. Their Little Secret

Harry’s lips are on Louis’ the moment the door closes behind him. Louis’ back is pressed against the door of his room as Harry leans on him with all his weight. Not that Louis minds, Harry is like a feather to him. And he has missed those lips. A lot. He doesn’t really like to admit it, but it is the truth. 

Louis’ hands tangle in Harry’s wild curls. He can’t even begin to explain his love for those curls, moving his hands through them. They feel so soft, they are so beautiful, they smell so good. And he knows that Harry likes it when Louis runs his hands through his unruly curls. 

And Harry always seems to sneak his hands underneath Louis’ shirt, seeming extremely eager to pull it off. But he doesn’t do that most of time, although it isn’t because he doesn’t want to. He just doesn’t. 

Harry tears his lips off of Louis’, immediately connecting them with skin of his neck. He sucks, licks and bites, leaving an obvious red mark causing Louis to moan. Harry loves it when he can make those sounds escape Louis’ lips. 

Louis throws his head back as much as possible, since he standing against a door, to give Harry a little bit more access. Harry moves his lips behind Louis’ ear, nibbling on his earlobe. “What did you do to Liam?” Harry whispers in Louis’ ear. 

Louis groans. Harry knows that he just ruined it, but he doesn’t care. He wants an explanation, even though he already knows what happened. But he still wants to hear it from Louis. Not that he thinks that Niall was lying or anything, but just to make sure. Maybe Louis sees it differently. 

“Do you really have to start that now?” Louis asks, obviously annoyed. Harry nods his head, still very much pressed against Louis’ body. He doesn’t care how annoyed Louis is, he has to know. Liam is his friend, he cares for him, so he is going to make Louis talk. 

“Okay, let’s have a look,” Louis says, still visibly annoyed, but Harry doesn’t care. “When Liam first arrived here, he was pretty small and looked kind of dorky. Kenneth being the though third grader he was thought it would be funny to bully him. 

“To be honest, I was scared of Kenneth at first. He also bullies people of his own grade and it wasn’t like I was the coolest person. So I thought if I’d hang out with him, then he wouldn’t bully me. And he didn’t. I didn’t like the thought of him bullying, though. But I didn’t work up the guts to stop him.”

“You still haven’t,” Harry says, referring to the time Duncan made of fun Harry when he bumped into him. But then he thinks about the time in the study hall. Louis did have said something about it when Duncan made fun of Harry and especially Niall. 

“I do, though,” Louis says. “I just knew that he wouldn’t do anything other than just make a little fun of you.” Yeah, but Harry didn’t know. He was a little scared that Duncan would punch him in the face and it would have been comforting to know that someone would have taken his side. 

Louis sees the look on Harry’s face. He rubs some curls out of the younger boy’s eyes and gives him a small smile. “I would have done something if he had done any harm to you, I promise,” he says. “And I would still do that.” 

Harry lays his head down on Louis’ chest, hearing his loud and fast heartbeat. “I know,” he mumbles. They stay like that for a while, none of them saying a word. Louis carelessly plays with Harry’s curls, while Harry listens to Louis’ steady heartbeat. 

“I think I should go,” Harry says, not really wanting to go. He takes his head off of Louis’ chest and looks into his beautiful eyes. 

“You could stay, you know,” Louis says, wiggling his eyebrows seductively. Harry laughs. He wouldn’t mind to stay, but Liam probably wouldn’t like that so much. Harry thinks that he doesn’t trust Louis – which he can’t blame him – and he doesn’t want to get into another argument with him. 

But Louis’ lips in his neck are changing his mind. He lets out a loud moan as Louis bites down in his skin. Harry walks backwards towards Louis’ bed, pulling the older boy’s shirt to take him with him. Louis’ shirt is off before they even properly lay down on the bed, Louis hovering above Harry. 

 

Harry feels his body getting pressed against the wall and slowly opens his eyes. The moment his eyes are open he is also aware of the music playing. He rolls over to see a half awake Louis lying next to him. He rubs the sleep from his eyes, sitting up so the cover glide down his bare chest. 

“God, I hate waking up so early,” Louis groans. He completely open his eyes and crawls out of bed, getting some clean boxers from his closet. He slips them over his bare bum and then turns around to look at a still very tired looking Harry. He gives him a grin. “I like your bed head.” 

Harry raises an eyebrow at him. “My hair looks like this all the time,” he says. And it is true. He doesn’t do anything to style his hair, trying to get into position that won’t even work. Some people say that the more you try to force your hair, the less it will look like you want. That actually occurs to Harry, so he just leaves it like that. 

Louis chuckles at him. Well, he actually always likes Harry’s hair. But he doesn’t say that out loud. Instead he just grabs his uniform, throwing it on, while a very naked Harry climbs out of his bed. Louis can’t help but glance at his very good looking body from the corner of his eyes and admiring what he sees. 

Harry doesn’t notice Louis looking as he just pulls on his clothes. Then Louis heads down for breakfast and Harry goes to his own room to brush his teeth before going down. He hopes that Liam won’t be there anymore to postpone the confrontation a little bit more. He just hopes that Liam won’t be mad at him. 

Luck is actually on his side this time and the room is empty when he arrives. He quickly brushes his teeth and grabs his books before descending the stairs, heading towards his first meal of the day. He easily finds Liam and Niall sitting at a table and joins them. He hasn’t even sit down properly before Zayn takes the seat opposite of him.

“Where have you been all night?” Liam asks the moment his bum touches his chair. He looks up to see that Liam isn’t too pleased with his action from this night. “I thought you said that you went to library.” 

“I did,” Harry says, lying through his teeth. He did say that, but he never went. Instead he had gone straight towards Louis’ room. He just thought that Liam wouldn’t like that so he told him something else. 

“Then what did you do all night?” Niall asks with his mouth full of food. His eyebrows are knitted together in confusion. “You didn’t sleep there, did you?” 

“No, I didn’t,” Harry says, immediately realizing his mistake. They probably would believe when he says that he fell asleep on his homework and didn’t wake up until this morning. Now he has to come up with another lie. “I saw Eve.”

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “You saw Eve?” he says. “And you went up with her towards her room or what?” Harry takes this opportunity and nods his head. They could believe that. “I don’t even want to know what you did there.” 

“Good,” Harry says, glad they won’t ask any other questions. “Because I wasn’t planning on telling you.” 

“Ew, Harry,” Liam says pulling a face. “That’s disgusting. She has a roommate, you know.” Shit. Harry didn’t think of any roommates that could possibly be there. But he easily shrugs it off. 

His shoulders go up and down in a shrugging motion. “Didn’t see,” he says, surprising himself. He didn’t realize that he could lie so easily to his friends. He just hopes that none of them will talk to Eve anytime soon and ask her about it. And he doesn’t want her to cover up for him because she will want to know where he really was and he isn’t planning on telling that to someone. 

Then they get up to go to their first courses. Harry’s is biology together with Zayn. Harry likes Tuesdays the most. He has got the whole morning periods with either Liam, Zayn or Niall. The afternoon is kind of relaxing with first music class, then IT and his last period is PE. 

When Harry goes into the boy’s dressing room he is immediately met with the bare back of Louis facing him. Louis has got PE the same period as Harry does and sometimes they have it together. Especially when one of the coaches is absent. And today happens to be one of those days. He doesn’t know why, but coach Jenkins isn’t at school, so they got PE with coach Harolds. 

Harry drops his sports bag on the bench next to Louis’, making the older boy look up at him as he pulls his shorts up. A grin immediately spreads itself on Louis’ face. “Hi, Curly,” he says, searching for his shirt in his big. 

Harry shoots him a grin as response, taking off his shoes and starting to undress himself. He looks at Louis from the corner of his eyes, to see him tying his shoes, but still shirtless. Harry takes the time to admire his tan and toned torso. Louis then pulls his shirt over his head and Harry looks away. 

He smirks when he feels Louis’ eyes on his own body when he takes off his own shirt. Louis admires his body just as much Harry admires his. He feels his cheeks heat up a little and quickly pulls on his shirt. 

“Look at the two lovebirds,” a harsh voice says from behind Harry. He turns around – he sees Louis quickly looking away from his body in the process –, his shirt only half pulled on. Duncan looks at them with a smirk on his face.

“Fuck off, Kenneth,” Louis says with a scowl on his face. In that moment Harry can’t help but think that Louis and Duncan aren’t real friends. Louis just hangs out with him because he was scared. But why does he still hang out with them then? 

“Louis Tomlinson hangs out with this weirdo of a fourth grader?” Duncan says with a smirk on his face. It was a rhetorical question, he doesn’t really expect an actual answer. 

“I said to fuck off,” Louis says, actually sounding angry. Harry is all too familiar with tone he speaks in, but he doesn’t have heard him swear before. Harry would definitely ‘fuck off’ when Louis told him to in that kind of way. 

But Duncan only finds amusing. “Calm your tits, Tomlinson,” he says. Harry really wants to wipe that smirk off his face and he is sure Louis wants to as well. “I was just asking.” 

Duncan turns around, mumbling something under his breath that Harry can’t understand. But Louis obviously has, because he jumps up, his face red of anger. He attacks Duncan from behind. Duncan lets out a surprised yelp before his mouth is shut by Louis’ fist. 

Harry also lets out a yell, grabbing Louis from behind, trying to get him off Duncan. He knows Duncan is an asshole and he deserves to get punched, but it only will get Louis into more trouble than he already is. 

“Stop it! All three of you,” a loud, deep voice yells through the dressing room while the door slams against the wall. Coach Harolds looks at the three boys on the ground, his face filled with anger. Duncan lies with his back on the ground, his face full of blood, with Louis sitting on top of him, his fist raised in the air. Harry is standing behind Louis, grabbing both of his shoulders to try and get him off Duncan.

“You two, Mrs Jameson,” coach Harolds says, pointing at Louis and Harry. He walks into the dressing room, pushing Louis off Duncan. He helps Duncan to get up and probably walks him to the first aid post. 

Louis looks at Harry. “I’m sorry I got you in trouble again,” he says. But he doesn’t sound like he means, due to his still angry tone. Harry, however does believe that he is sorry. But it probably means another four weeks helping out the lunch lady.


	22. You Two Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, but the last time I posted a chapter, I posted the wrong chapter. Here's the right one. That other chapter is supposed to come later and now you've already read it. I'm so sorry, I feel so stupid now..

“You two again!” Mrs Jameson yells at Harry and Louis as they both have taken a seat in front of her. Her face is redder than Louis’ was and she is trembling out of furiousness. Her eyes are hard as she looks at the two boys in their gym uniform. 

“Where did you drag him into this time?” she says, her eyes focusing on Louis. But this time Harry won’t let her walk over him. He doesn’t care in how much trouble he will get for it. 

“He didn’t drag me into anything!” he says, sounding angry himself. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but he isn’t the cause of every single problem.” Mrs Jameson snaps her eyes from Louis to Harry, looking just as surprised as Louis does. He didn’t expect Harry to speak up since the last time they were in this room he looked like a lost puppy. 

But before she can open her mouth the door opens behind them. Coach Harolds walks into the room, also with an angry face. He looks at Louis. “The poor boy’s nose is broken,” he says. “Where was that good for?” 

Louis suddenly sounds ashamed as he opens his mouth to speak. “He mocked us.” Louis looks down at his fumbling hands in his lap. Harry stares at him, listening just as intently as Mrs Jameson and coach Harolds. He hasn’t heard what Duncan exactly said to make Louis so furious. 

“And what exactly did he say for you to break his nose?” Mrs Jameson’s stern voice asks him. Yeah, what did he say? Harry wonders as well. 

“I didn’t mean to break his nose,” Louis mumbles, avoiding the actual question. He is obviously ashamed of the topic Duncan was talking about. It makes Harry only more curious. 

“That isn’t my question, Mr Tomlinson,” Mrs Jameson says. “What did the boy say?” 

Louis suddenly looks up with so much speed that it surprises Harry just as much as it surprises Mrs Jameson and coach Harolds. His eyes are hard, and Harry hates to see that cold look in his eyes. “He called us fags. Happy now?” 

Harry feels a stinging feeling going through his chest at the word ‘fags’. Is that what he is? Gay? He doesn’t feel like he is, but then again, how does it feel to be gay? But he has made out with Louis, who is a guy. He has desired for his lips. Hell, he still desires for them. So he is actually gay or what? What if he just is Louis-sexual? What if he is just straight? 

Mrs Jameson’s shrill voice interrupts his train of thoughts. “No need to give me that attitude, Mr Tomlinson,” she says, eyeing Louis. “Is that really a reason the punch the poor boy?” 

“He deserves it,” Harry says, surprising the people in the room another time. All eyes are on him now. “Even if he didn’t call us fags, he still deserves to have his nose broken. And his arms. And his legs. And everything else that could possibly be broken.” 

“And why is that, Mr Styles?” coach Harolds asks him. He doesn’t sound angry anymore and he surprised that no one has yelled at him yet for saying those words. 

Harry looks at him. “Because he bullies people. And he does more than just saying some harsh words,” Harry says, hoping that they would do something about Duncan. He thinks about Liam, who has been bullied by him. He doesn’t know if he got physically harmed, but he is sure that Duncan wouldn’t have been afraid to do so. 

“Do have any proof of that, Mr Styles?” Jameson asks him. “You can’t just accuse people for bullying and think that we will just believe you on your word.”

“In a matter of fact, I do,” Harry says. He hopes that Liam won’t mind what he is going to say next. “I know someone who has been bullied by Duncan.” 

Jameson raises her eyebrows at Harry like she won’t believe what he is going to say next. Or why they have never reported that they have been bullied. “And who is that?” she asks, her eyes showing that she didn’t think that Harry actually has evidence. 

“Liam Payne.” 

Her eyes immediately widen in surprise. “Liam Payne?” she repeats. Harry can actually picture her with her mouth hanging open right now. Harry nods his head in confirmation. “But Mr Payne would have reported it when he actually has been bullied.” 

“You don’t know how many people are too scared to report it when they get bullied,” Harry says, resisting the urge to shake his head at her. “They are afraid that the bullies will get after them for doing so and that they will only have made it worse.” 

“Fine,” she huffs. “We’ll talk to Mr Payne.” She leans back in her chair, looking like she is done with them, but Louis and Harry only get up when coach Harolds speaks up. 

“You two can go now.” 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Jameson hold her hand up, stopping them form leaving the room. She leans forward again and looks at coach Harolds with gaze that says ‘what in God’s name are you doing?’ “They fought. I think they deserve to be punished.” 

“I think we’ve been punished enough already,” Louis says, having an attempt to get them out of trouble again while Harry is sure that he will only make it worse. “I mean having chores and detention is enough, I think.” 

Jameson raises her eyebrows again. “You’ll have to learn to know when you need to shut that big mouth of yours, Mr Tomlinson,” Jameson says. “But I don’t think that you are punished enough. That was only for the last time you got in trouble. I think we should double your detention.”

Harry’s heart jumps. She is only going to double their detention? Not double his shifts during the lunch break? He finds fighting with someone way worse than leaving the school grounds, but he doesn’t mind. She doesn’t have to add some chores. He can’t believe that they only got away with detention. 

“You guys can go back to your class now,” she says, averting her gaze from the two in front of her and continuing with her paperwork. Harry and Louis get up from their chairs and walk out of the room as quickly as possible, followed by coach Harolds. 

Louis groans loudly the moment the door shuts behind them. “Two more months of detention!” he half yells. “That makes four mouths. Do you know that this is almost the rest of the year?” 

“Well, look on the brightside,” Harry says, chuckling. “If you get in trouble again she won’t be able to give you a lot more detention.”

Louis gives him a glare. “I know she’ll find a way.” Harry shrugs his shoulder. He is sure she will. If she doesn’t have enough Saturdays, she will start using Sundays, or Wednesday afternoon. And if she really has to, she will just use every day of the week. 

When they arrive outside on the running track, they see that all the pupils are sitting on the grass in the middle of the running track, only a very few people actually playing Frisbee. “I told you to play Frisbee, not to sit on your lazy arses. Get up everybody!” coach Harolds yells at them. Then he turns to Harry and Louis. “You two go run some lengths.” 

Harry groans, but the coach doesn’t hear it. He hates running. It is so boring and the same all the time. The rest of the two classes are able to play some Frisbee while he and Louis have to run. But they only oblige. What else are they supposed to do? He doesn’t feel like getting another month of detention, or have to clean the sports hall or something like that. 

Louis and Harry end up having to run longer than the actual PE course lasts and when they arrive back at the dressing room they are all sweaty and everyone is already gone. Louis lets out a big sigh. “Great,” he says. 

But Harry only smirks. Louis’ hair is pushed back and held in place because it is a little wet from the sweat. He has taken his shirt off and his chest and abs are also covered in a small layer of sweat, making it glister. To sum it all up, he looks freaking sexy. 

So Harry can of course not resist him. He attaches his lips to Louis’, taking Louis by surprise. Harry feels Louis tensing up for a second, before he relaxes and kisses him back. He pushes his tongue into Harry’s mouth without a warning or even asking for permission.

He breaks their lips apart for a moment and pulls Harry’s shirt over his head in a swift motion. He aims for the younger boy’s collarbone as soon as the fabric is removed. Harry lets out a low moan at the contact of Louis’ warm, wet lips to his sweaty skin. 

“Let’s shower,” Harry says in a low voice that makes shivers run down Louis’ spine. Louis tears his lips away from Harry’s collarbone and slightly nods his head. They quickly pull of the rest of their clothes and Harry’s lips are on Louis’ again as soon as they step underneath the hot rays of the shower in the dressing room. 

Their chests are pushed together, rays of the shower mingling with their sweat and washing it away. Harry’s arms are tightly warped around Louis’ waist, pulling him as close as possible while Louis’ hands tangle themselves in Harry’s wet locks. Their erections rub together and Harry gasps at the friction, giving Louis the opportunity to shove his tongue in Harry’s agape mouth. 

Harry pushes Louis against the wall behind him while their tongues fight for dominance. Harry lets out a small moan as Louis accidently tugs his hair. Louis smirks as Harry leaves his mouth to gasp for breath. They both breathe heavily, their body’s still pressed together against the wall of the shower. 

Harry presses a light kiss in Louis’ neck while Louis lets his hands roam over Harry’s body, exploring every little part of it. Harry suddenly starts to suck on the skin and a loud moan escapes Louis’ mouth. He leans his head back against wall, closing his eyes with his mouth slightly open. 

Harry starts to suck harder, getting more moans from Louis. He smirks, feeling a little proud that he is the cause of the sounds leaving Louis’ mouth. He digs his nails in Louis’ back, leaving a mark there and one in his neck caused by his teeth sinking into the skin. 

Harry’s tongue starts to trail down Louis’ body, making his back arch off of the wall. Harry uses his hand to push him against the tiled shower wall again. Louis groans in anticipation when Harry presses a light kiss right beneath his bellybutton. Harry looks up to see that his eyes are closed and that he is obviously enjoying every single second of it. 

Harry grabs his length, running his hands up and down. Louis’ eyes snap open at the friction, a small gasp leaving his mouth. Harry smirks, dropping to his knees and taking him in his mouth all at once. Louis moans loudly, a great sensation burning through his body, making his hips buckle forward. 

Harry grabs his hips, holding them into place while his mouth moves up and down his length. Louis moans each time his tip hits the back of Harry’s throat. He grabs the younger boy’s shoulders, digging his nails deep in the flesh, leaving some raw red scratches. Harry doesn’t mind, though. 

Louis releases with a half extremely loud moan, half scream. Harry catches his breath, looking up at Louis who is breathing equally as loud as he is. He gets up from his knees and presses his body against Louis’. Louis can feel that Harry is still very much excited. “Now it’s my turn,” he whispers in the younger boy’s ear, making him shiver. 

Louis presses their lips together, switching places with Harry, so now the curly haired boy’s back is pushed up against the wall. Louis bites down on Harry’s bottom lip, making the younger of two moan. 

Soon enough more sweet sounds escape his mouth while Louis is now on his knees.


	23. Too Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all very lovely! Thank you!

Harry shuts the door of his room behind him and shivers a bit as he walks through the corridor towards the showers. The corridors are pretty cold this time of the year – it is still snowing outside – and hasn’t put a shirt on, walking around in only some shorts. He tries to let his bare feet touch the cold floor as less as possible. 

It is actually too late to shower now. Mr Dockers is already cleaning the bathrooms and he is sure that he old man will say something about it, but that he will let him shower anyway. Then he will make Harry clean the shower himself. It is just an excuse for him to not have to clean some showers. 

But Mr Dockers isn’t there when he arrives, instead a boy dressed in a dirty dark blue overall is sitting on his knees, while he scrubs the floor of one of the showers. Harry can’t help but laugh at the sight, making the boy turn around to look at him. “You were laughing with my apron,” Harry says. “But your overall looks way worse.” 

Louis shoots him a glare, narrowing his eyes at the younger boy. “Shut up, Styles,” he says, his voice a little irritated. “At least the whole school doesn’t see me.” Harry immediately stops laughing. Because that is actually true. Normally, no one is in the bathrooms when they get cleaned and everyone is in the canteen when Harry has to do his shift. 

“Okay, you got me,” Harry says, holding up his hands in surrender. Louis stares at the younger boy’s chest for a while before lifting his gaze up to meet Harry’s eyes, grinning at him. “Can I shower now?”

Louis nods his head. “But you know the rule,” he says. “You have to clean the shower up yourself.” Harry shrugs his shoulders. He doesn’t mind, he just really needs a shower. His last shower was three days ago. 

His eyes flicker to Louis for a brief moment as he thinks back at the last time he showered. He licks his lips at just thought of it. The thought of Louis’ sweet lips on his own, in his neck, on his chest, his stomach, his… 

He quickly snaps himself out his thoughts before he gets a boner right then and there. 

Harry showers quicker than he normally does, hoping that Louis will still be out there if he is done. He cleans up the shower afterwards and then he walks out of the cabinet, his curly locks damp, shirtless yet again. Louis is leaning against the doorframe with the upper part of the overall pulled down so his striped shirt is revealed. 

Harry grins at him the moment he notices that Louis is still there. “Did you wait for me?” he asks. Louis doesn’t answer, though. Instead he just gives Harry a small smile before turning around and walking out of the bathroom. Harry follows him. 

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” Louis says, stopping as they reached Harry’s room. Harry hasn’t noticed that he has stopped and almost bumps into him. Louis turns around to see that Harry is trying to get back in balance and chuckles at him. 

Once Harry is on his two feet again, he shakes his head at Louis. “No,” he says firmly. “Let’s have a talk with Mr Serious.”

He smirks as Louis’ eyes widen. “No way,” he says. “No way, I’m not going to talk to him. I’m not apologizing or anything you want me to do with him. No way.” 

Harry narrows his eyes at him. What is so bad about apologizing? What is so bad about Liam? He honestly doesn’t see the problem. “It’s not like you have a choice,” he says, opening the door to his room and pushing Louis inside.

Louis didn’t expect that one coming and he stumbles over his feet, half falling into the room of the younger boy. Way to make an entrance, Tommo, he thinks to himself. That seems very confident. 

Liam looks up from his books when he hears the commotion. His eyebrows knit together in confusion when Louis Tomlinson stumbles into his room with a half pulled down, extremely dirty looking overall. What in God’s name is going on? 

Then Harry walks in after Louis, who is trying to gain his balance again. Harry smiles a cheeky grin at Liam, who returns it with an unsure small smile. He still doesn’t understands what is happening. 

“Louis here,” Harry says, gesturing to Louis who finally stands up straight. “wants to say something to you.” He moves his hand so they are now pointing at Liam. It gets Liam only more confused. 

“What does he want to say?” Liam asks, sitting up while he shoves his books aside. Louis doesn’t say anything and neither does Harry. 

But Harry nudges Louis in his back to make him open his mouth. Louis stumbles again a bit, but this time he doesn’t lose his balance. Then he mumbles something that neither Harry or Liam understands. 

“What was that?” 

“I’m sorry, okay,” Louis says louder, now looking up to look the younger boy straight into his eyes. “I’m sorry you used to get bullied. I’m sorry I didn’t do anything. Happy now?” He throws Harry a glare before walking out of their room. 

Harry smirks. Yes, he is happy now. He knows that when he sees Louis next time he won’t be mad at him anymore. But Liam sits there, utterly confused to why this all happened right now. He hadn’t seen that one coming, he honestly didn’t. 

Harry stares blankly in front of him. The classroom is dead silent, aside from the quiet tapping from a foot that comes from somewhere behind him. He sits in the front right corner, away from the window and away from Louis. 

Louis is the one who is tapping his foot, sitting in the left back corner. They have Harry forbidden to look behind him, so they can’t have any form of communication. Aside from the two boys and the teacher, the room is empty. 

Louis lets out his millionth heavy sigh, making the teacher look up at him, telling him to keep his sighs to himself with her eyes. Then she turns her head back to her paperwork. Louis wishes that he had something to do. Even if it was just writing down some stupid lines. Everything is better than this torture. 

Harry is debating whether he should throw a quick glance over his shoulder, just to kill some time. What would she do about it? She’ll probably only comment on it. It is worth a shot. Maybe she won’t even see it. He doesn’t even know why he isn’t allowed in the first place. Detention is detention, it is boring even if he is allowed to look behind him. 

He slightly turns around and looks at the other side of the room. Louis has sunken away in his chair, his bum touching the rand of his chair, almost falling off. His legs are stretched in front of him and he is studying his nails while his feathery brown hair falls slightly in front of his beautiful eyes. 

As he feels Harry’s stare burning in his forehead, he looks up. Their eyes meet for a second before the shrill voice of the teacher cuts through the air. “Styles, turn around!” 

Harry visibly jumps at the sudden loud sound ringing through the air and quickly turns around, tearing his eyes away from Louis’. She hasn’t looked up the whole time they are in that classroom and now she does? She has got some really good timing. He hates it. 

Louis turns to look out of the window. There is still some snow outside, but has lessened visibly. The temperature is slowly starting to rise again and the snow will melt in a matter of days. Not that he minded. He likes snow, but at the end it starts to get slippery and everyone falls. It is funny unless you fall yourself. Which is most likely going to happen.

Louis looks away from the window and glances at the clock. An hour of detention has already past, an hour has yet to come. He won’t be able to get through this, he will just die out of pure boredom. What is the point of this whole thing anyway? 

He lets out a big yawn and lays his head down on his desk, closing his eyes briefly before the voice of the teacher makes him jump. “Tomlinson, get up!” He sits up again, seeing out of the corner of his eyes that Harry has quickly thrown a glance over his shoulder as he had heard the teacher yelling at Louis. 

She seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to things like pupils misbehaving or not doing what they are supposed to do. She has caught Louis multiple times while breaking the rules. He remembers being in third grade when he first started to get close with Eve and she had caught them kissing while they had to be in class. 

The kiss leaded to nothing, though. Yes, Louis had liked her, but that was before she liked him. He never made a move on her because he thought she was out of his league. Every boy adored her because of her looks – they still do – and he thought he would have been misunderstood. He didn’t only like her because of her looks. 

So he got stuck in the friend zone. Or so he thought. When they got really good friends and he kind of got over her she confessed that she liked him. He didn’t know what to do, so he simply kissed her. He thought that it was what he wanted. But then this teacher caught them and he realized he hadn’t even minded to take his lips off of hers. He hadn’t minded to be away from her. Because she was only a friend to him. 

It got awkward between them after that and they didn’t speak for a very long time. Louis still blames his teacher for that. If she hadn’t caught them, he might have never realized that he didn’t want her to be more than a friend and it might have gone the way it was supposed to go. Maybe he would have fallen for her again, maybe he would have realized that he never got over her. 

But that is not what happened. They hadn’t spoken for almost a year when they finally made up in the beginning of fourth grade. He has never had any feelings for Eve ever again and he is sure that she hasn’t either. He wouldn’t know why, he is really not that special. He is just some boy who hasn’t even figured himself out. He barely knows who he is. 

And having Harry around doesn’t help his case. Harry makes him even more confused. As to why he wants him to be around, why he wants to touch every single part of his body as much as he can. Why he experiences so much pleasure while Harry works wonders with his mouth. 

He doesn’t understand it. Isn’t he supposed to be desiring for the beautiful girls walking around? Isn’t he supposed to want to be touched by small, feminine hands instead of those big strong hands that belong to Harry? Isn’t he supposed to like hot girls instead of the awkward younger boy? 

Maybe it is just a phase? You know, he is only eighteen, his body is changing and all that shit. Maybe he will get over it soon enough and dream about hot girls again. Not the awkward body of the boy sitting just a few seats in front of him. 

But what would happen if he doesn’t want this to be a phase? If he wants to keep dreaming about that awkward body, that actually isn’t too awkward, but pretty damn sexy. What if he wants it naked, pressed against his own body, feeling his body heath? 

Louis groans loudly, earning a glare from his teacher telling him to shut up and a curious glance from Harry. He rolls his eyes at the younger boy. “I’m killing myself,” he mouths to him, hoping he would understand. He thinks he does when he receives a smirk from him. 

“Tomlinson, no signing,” the teacher says without even looking up. Her voice isn’t so loud and shrill this time, which is Louis very thankful for. “Styles, turn around in your seat.” 

Harry shrugs his shoulders, holding up ten fingers, telling Louis to hold it up for ten more minutes. Then he turns around, facing the blackboard again. He starts to tap his fingers on his desk, getting the teacher annoyed and she tells them that they can leave already. 

Louis practically jumps out of his seat, running towards the door of freedom. He hears Harry chuckling behind him, but the younger boy is just as quick out of the room as he is. Two hours of hell are finally over. For now, since they will be back in a week. 

“I’m going to hang myself before next week’s detention,” Louis says, earning another chuckle from Harry.


	24. Cold Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where I am with my mind these days, I keep posting wrong chapters, or I'm posting them twice. I'm really sorry. I posted this chapter by accident already, but if you haven't read it yet, then here it is (:

The air outside is cold, but the snow has melted away, leaving a brown lawn exposed to the sky. There aren’t a lot of people outside, but the ones who are, are wrapped up in thick coats, scarves and gloves, trying to protect themselves from the biting and ice cold wind. 

A small group of people erupt in loud cheers, making a blush appear on Niall’s – who is sitting a couple of meters away from them – already pink cheeks. He tries to block them out, though as his lips are finally pressed up against the ones of the beautiful, small girl in front of him. He can feel the corners of her mouth curl upwards as she hears their cheering friends. 

“I think they support us,” she giggles as she pulls her lips away from Niall’s. He gives her a wide smile before flipping off his friends, earning more cheers. He was just talking to Sienna – outside because he didn’t want to get interrupted – when they suddenly appeared out of nowhere. 

Harry rolls his eyes at his friends, yet a grin spread across his face. His friends are a bunch of idiots, but he likes them nonetheless. He can’t help but feel a little at home when he is with them. They are a lot like his friends back in Holmes Chapel, who are just a bunch of idiots as well. But he loves them to no end. 

“Zayn’s next,” April says, grinning at Zayn. “Who is your lucky girl?” 

Zayn shakes his head, but he grins as well. “There is no one.” Harry knows just as Zayn how big that lie is. But Zayn doesn’t release anything, trying to get the subject off of him as he says: “What about Harry?”

Harry looks up, surprised that the words are aimed at him now. Is he now supposed to tell who is snogging all time? Cause that ain’t gonna come out. There is no way he is going to tell them about him and Louis, whatever it may be that they have. 

“Harry likes Eve, right Harry?” Liam says. Right, Eve. He has forgotten that they still think that. They even think that he might have slept with her. Which he didn’t do, just to make it clear. He hasn’t slept with any girl at Westminster and he doesn’t like one, either. Not even Eve. 

“Yeah, Eve,” he says slowly. He will have to tell them sooner or later that him and Eve are nothing, but he rather prefers the later. It makes things a bit easier. Or so he thinks. He just hopes that he won’t start to drown in his own lies. They would just all freak out and look at him differently if he would tell them about what he has been doing with Louis for the last month. 

“What about you, April?” Zayn says, leaning forward to her, his chin resting in his hands while he looks at her with a gaze that says ‘tell me more’. Harry lets out a sigh of relief that the topic is now off of him. Liam throws him a glance, but Harry doesn’t notice. 

“Oh you know, there are plenty of hot guys walking around here,” April says. Harry doesn’t completely agree to that, but he doesn’t say that out loud. They would just look at him like he has gone completely insane. 

“Just cut to the chase, April,” Phoebe says. She has one arm wrapped around Liam’s neck while the other rests between her legs that are placed onto Liam’s lap. She smiles at April as a blush appears on the blonde girl’s face. 

“Louis Tomlinson is pretty hot.” Her grin drops a bit as she didn’t expect such a change in the atmosphere. Liam’s eyes immediately harden at the mention of Louis’ name. Zayn doesn’t look too pleased, either and Phoebe lets out a snort at the odd choice of men of her friend. 

But Harry’s mood has changed the most. His eyes are harder than Liam’s, but not because he doesn’t like Louis, but because of the burning jealousy that is running through his body. He doesn’t want to admit it, that he is jealous, but it is the plane truth. Louis is pretty hot, though, but not for her. She can’t find him hot. 

Liam notices, the strange look in Harry’s eyes. He has never seen him look at someone like that before. It is not quite anger, it is something else, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. Why would he be angry – or whatever he is feeling right now – at the girl for liking Louis Tomlinson? Something is definitely not right. 

Harry looks away from April, trying to get his emotions back under control. He doesn’t want anyone to notice what he is feeling right now. He doesn’t even want to know himself, he doesn’t want to feel what he is feeling. He doesn’t want to admit. 

“Go for it, girl,” Phoebe eventually says after a long, awkward silence. April’s face has gone from slightly pink to a burning red as she notices that they don’t quite support her. She knows that is might be a bit odd for liking Louis, but she thought that her friends would have at least faked their happiness instead of not even bothering to hide their dislike for the boy. 

“I don’t know, though,” April mumbles. She doesn’t dare to look anyone in the eyes. Especially not Harry. She has noticed his hard attitude as soon as the name left her lips. It is kind of scary and it seems to be directed towards her, which scares her a little bit more. 

“Why not?” Zayn asks, his smile too fake to go unnoticed. April sees it and a bit of a hurt look appears on her face. Zayn smiles falters a bit and he frowns. Is he that bad at faking smiles? He didn’t mean to hurt her. 

“You all obviously don’t like him,” she says, frowning and pouting like a little child who doesn’t get what she wants. 

“Harry likes him,” Liam says, pointing at Harry. All heads turn to him now and Harry looks up at the mention of his name. what does Liam mean with that he likes him? He does he mean as friends or that he like likes him? Because they are definitely not just friends, but he doesn’t know how he exactly feels about Louis. 

“What?” Harry says, knitting his eyebrows together like he just snapped out of a trance and didn’t exactly follow their conversation. 

“You and Louis are friends, right?” Liam says, looking into Harry’s eyes, searching for any kind of odd emotion, or other weird stuff. But he doesn’t find anything, he genuinely seems confused, which confuses Liam. It is like he doesn’t remember being friends with Louis. 

“Yeah, friends,” Harry says like he finally remembers. “Yeah, me and Louis are friends.” With benefits, he adds in his mind. That he isn’t going to give away to April. Louis wouldn’t like her anyway. He thinks… 

“Really?” April asks, her eyes slightly lighting up after all the disappointment she had to process. “Does he like acknowledge me?” 

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “He hasn’t mentioned you yet,” he says, hoping that she would back off. He doesn’t lie, though. Louis probably doesn’t even know that she exists. 

“Make yourself known,” Phoebe says, nudging her friend in her sides. April slightly blushes again, but she doesn’t refuse. She’ll probably do it. Harry would actually kind of want to see that. How cocky Louis rejects this innocent, giggly and sometimes slightly annoying girl. 

“What about Evanna Cole and Mona Shear?” April says, nodding her head towards the back doors of the school building. There is Eve wrapped up in a winter coat with a green hat on top of her brown and matching scarf slung around her neck. She presses a kiss on Louis’ cheeks, smiles at him and walks away from him towards her friends. 

Mona is standing next to Louis, her arm linked with his and her head on his shoulder. She is visibly shaking from the cold since her clothes aren’t as thick as Eve’s. He says something to her and the moments she giggles at him, Louis gets a smack against the back of his head by a passing by Duncan. Louis only flips him off. 

Then his eyes meet Harry’s. Even with this big of a distance between, Harry can still clearly see his ocean blue eyes sparkling brightly. Louis flashes him a grin, but then frowns a little as he notices that all Harry’s friends are looking at him as well. Then he starts walking in their direction, dragging Mona with him. 

“What are they all looking at?” he asks as he is close enough and only Harry and Mona would hear him. The others have kind of looked away, trying to listen to what they are saying. 

Harry gives him a smirk. “April likes you,” he says quite enough so only Louis would hear him while eyeing his friends. April is slightly looking in their direction, probably not expecting to be so close to Louis right after admitting she likes him. 

Louis knits his eyebrows together, thinking of he knows an April. He doesn’t. “Who’s April?” he asks Harry. Harry slightly nods his head in the direction of the younger girl and Louis follows his head with his eyes. 

Then he raises his eyebrows. “She’s not my type,” he answers, chuckling a bit. He didn’t know that a fourth grader he doesn’t even know would like him. It surprises him, but amuses him as well. 

“You don’t even know her,” Mona suddenly says, slightly smacking Louis’ stomach. He pulls a face at her. 

“What?” 

She eyes the girl and the looks back at Louis. “You don’t even know her. How can you say that she is not your type. Get to know her first. Don’t say it’s her looks. You can’t judge people by their looks.” 

Harry is a bit surprised at Mona’s rant, but Louis only chuckles at her. “I’m not interested, Mon,” he says, looking at her with a mischievous grin on his face. “I though you would like that.” 

Harry’s eyes widen at that statement, trying to hide his chuckle and Mona’s face becomes a bright red. Louis still smirks at her, but she refuses to meet his eyes, or Harry’s for that matter. 

Louis swings an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close while she still looks down. “I was only joking,” he says. “No need to be embarrassed.”

Mona wants to open her mouth to say something, but she gets interrupted by Niall and Sienna joining the group of people. They both wear a cute smile on their faces and Phoebe squeals a bit at her friend. “Are you two together now?” she asks excitedly. 

Harry hears Louis chuckle and he can only imagine him rolling his eyes at the two girls, but he doesn’t turn around to look at him. But he can see that Liam does look at the older boy and the look on his face shows that he isn’t feeling too happy about it. 

Sienna slightly shrugs her shoulder at her friend’s question. “I guess so,” she says, looking at Niall for confirmation. He smiles at her and lightly nods his head, making her smile as well and receiving an ‘ooh’ from April.

“How cute,” Harry hears Mona mumble to Louis. Harry bites back a chuckle. He knows that Louis doesn’t really think it is cute. He probably thinks it is way too cheesy and maybe even a bit childish. 

Mona’s voice makes Niall turn around, confused as to who is speaking. His eyes widen slightly when he sees the older girl and boy standing by Harry’s side and he raises his eyebrows at the latter. Harry only shrugs his shoulders. 

“It starts to rain,” Sienna says, wiping a raindrop off of her little nose. Harry looks up at the sky, only seeing a big amount of grey clouds packed together. Then a raindrop hits him in his eye, squeezing it shut in a reaction. It hurts anyway. 

Soon the rain starts pouring down heavily, making all the people who are outside rush inside. Harry feels the burning stare of Louis on his head and looks up the meet his beautiful blue eyes. Louis hasn’t moved an inch and neither has Harry, but they start running as well as soon as Harry returned Louis grin. Though they don’t run towards the back doors where everyone else is rushing towards. 

They find themselves at the side of the building a couple of moments later, with Harry’s back pressed against the brick wall and Louis’ lip firmly on his. Their hair and clothes stick to their bodies, soaked with the cold water of the rain, but neither of them could care less.


	25. Didn't Know, Either

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the last chapter into the right chapter. I had posted that chapter before by accident, but now it is all right (: here's the new one.

“Can I still shower?” Louis turns around when he hears the soft voice thick with an Irish accent. He sees the small, blonde boy standing awkwardly in the doorway. It is the one of ‘cute couple’ of the other day, but Louis hasn’t gotten his name. 

Louis gets up from his kneeling position on the floor where he was cleaning one of the showers, and wipes his hands off on his overall. He tilts his head a bit, his eyes on the younger boy. He awkwardly shifts under Louis’ gaze. “Sure,” Louis answers after a while. “But you have to clean your shower yourself then.” 

Niall nods his head, walking towards one of the showers. Right before he wants to enter he turns around to look at Louis again. “Why are you doing this?” he asks. “I mean, why are you cleaning the showers?” he adds after Louis raises one of his eyebrows. 

He smirks at the curious blonde. “I got in trouble,” he answers.

“You sneaked out the school, didn’t you?” Niall asks. Louis smirk falters a bit. He tries to read the blonde’s eyes, but they don’t show any emotion. Would Harry tell his friends everything they do? He wonders what more Harry has told them. 

“And you dragged Harry along with you, didn’t you?” Niall continues after that Louis doesn’t answer. He tries to be confident, but he is shaking on the inside. He is pretty sure that Louis could do some cruel things and he doesn’t really want to find out.

“I didn’t drag Harry along,” Louis says. His eyes turn hard and cold and Niall can’t help but shiver a bit underneath his gaze. “I asked him and he said yes.” 

Niall’s eyes widen a bit. He knows that Harry and Louis are friends, but their friendship is more serious than he realized. Louis isn’t dragging Harry and all kinds of things, Harry just goes along with them because he wants to. Because they are actual friends. 

“Why do you all think I’m the bad guy?” Louis asks. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans with his shoulder against the wall. His eyes are still hard, but they are also curious. Niall shifts his weight from one leg to his other before he opens his mouth and then closes it again like he doesn’t know why they think Louis is the bad guy. 

He shrugs his shoulders then. “Your friends aren’t the nicest guys, you know,” he eventually answers. “Everybody thinks you’re a freak.” 

Louis raises his eyebrows, a half smirk appearing on his face, making Niall uncomfortable once again. “You believe what everybody thinks?” he says, eyeing the younger boy. Niall nervously shrugs his shoulders again. “Even if I was freak it doesn’t mean I’m bad,” Louis continues. “Even if my friends aren’t the nicest guy, does it mean that I’m not nice.

“Maybe they aren’t even my actual friends. You don’t know anything about me. You people think you have every single figured out by just looking at them. Well, you’re wrong. You’re nowhere near having me figured out. I’m not as simple as those idiots walking around here. So put your nose in someone else’s business, because you don’t a thing about me and I’m not planning on telling you anything.”

Niall looks at the older boy with his eyes wide open. He didn’t expect a rant like that. He didn’t expect an explanation at all, if this is what you can call an explanation. He doesn’t quite know what to say or think about Louis right now. He says he is not the bad guy, but he has got Niall pretty fright. 

“Are you going to shower or what?” Louis asks harshly, turning away from Niall. Niall turns his back to the older boy and gets in the shower. Louis might not be the bad guy, but he sure can be harsh and mean. 

Niall tries to get his mind off of Louis’ words and just relax underneath the hot shower, but his thoughts always lead back to the older boy. Louis has got something that keeps Niall drawing towards him. Louis said that Niall hasn’t figured him out and now he wants to. He wants to know what goes on inside of Louis’ head. 

Much to nice surprise Louis is still cleaning when he gets from underneath the shower. He gained some new confidence and opens his mouth to say something. “There is something I don’t understand,” he says, making Louis turn around again. 

Louis raises an eyebrow at him and Niall takes that as his cue to go on. “Why is your punishment so much worse than Harry’s if you sneaked out together.” 

Louis looks at him with a bored gaze in his eyes. “Because I’m the ‘bad guy’,” he says, making quotes in the air when he says the words ‘bad guy’. 

Niall rolls his eyes at him. “No, seriously.” 

Louis grins at the younger boy. The guy isn’t that bad at all. “Because Jameson hates me,” he answers truthfully. “Because to her, every little thing I do is wrong and she always looks for an opportunity to make my life miserable.” 

“Did she succeed so far?” Niall asks, wondering if he got into more trouble than just having to clean the bathrooms. 

“She made me clean bathrooms for two months and gave me four months of detention, so yes, she has pretty much succeed,” Louis answers. He throws the sponge in the bucket, making the water spat up a bit. He pulls the upper half of his overall down, revealing one of his many stripped shirts. He is done for the day.

Niall’s mouth falls slightly open. “Four months detention?” he asks a little too loudly. “That’s almost the rest of the year! What have you done to her?”

Louis chuckles at Niall’s tone and shrugs his shoulders. “I just sneaked out... And I broke Kenneth’s nose,” he adds after a small pause. 

Niall laughs loudly. “You go, mate,” he says, holding his hand up for Louis to high five it. “I thought you were friends with Duncan?” 

“I told you that they aren’t my actual friends,” Louis says, picking up the bucket and emptying in one of the showers to not have to look at Niall. He then throws the bucket aside and looks at Niall again, who has his eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

“Why do hang out with them if they aren’t your friends?” he asks. Louis might claim that he is not a freak, but he sure is a weird guy, that much has Niall figured. 

Louis simply shrugs his shoulders. “I grew used to it, I guess,” he says. It is not a lie, but him and Niall both know that it is not his actual reason. Niall seems like a nice guy to him, but he doesn’t trust him enough to tell him that his real reason is that he used to be scared of Kenneth and that it was purely out of self-defence. 

Niall doesn’t quite believe him, but it seems like Louis doesn’t want to say anything else about it, so he doesn’t press it. Louis doesn’t seem to mind him and he doesn’t want Louis to hate him. His life would probably be over then. 

“This is cosy,” a familiar deep voice says, making both Louis and Niall turn around to look at the curly haired boy. “Having a nice little chat in the bathroom.” 

Louis smirks at him. “You’re too late, Styles. I cleaned it all.” Louis looks into Harry’s beautiful emerald eyes and his smirk turns in a sort of smile. 

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “I know the rule, I’ll clean my own shower.” He opens his hands and Louis throws him the sponge he used earlier to clean the other showers. 

Niall eyes them from a distance, not speaking while they interact. They sure have a strange friendship, but they seem to care about each other. Maybe a little too much, Niall thinks and he smirks to himself. Imagine if what they are saying has a sexual hint. He almost can’t help but laugh out loud, but he manages to keep quiet. That is ridiculous, why is he think such things? They are just friends. 

“He knows the rule already?” Niall asks Louis as Harry disappears in one of the shower cabins. He raises his eyebrows at the older boy. 

“He’s always too late,” Louis replies, a grin on his face. “He isn’t that much of an angels as his face shows, trust me.” Louis can’t help but think of the time he has made Harry moan. He definitely wasn’t an angel back then, the dirty bastard. Or when he works wonders with that pretty little mouth of his. 

Louis swallows hard as he tries to erase those things off his mind. It isn’t quite easy, because Harry is just a door away from him and probably naked. Louis quickly thinks of a dying puppy to contain his excitement. Niall is still in the room. 

“I think I’m going to get going,” Niall says after a silence. He slightly waves at Louis before walking out of the bathrooms and towards the room he shares with Zayn. Louis lets a sigh, Niall probably hasn’t seen anything. Luckily is this overall a bit too big for him. 

After a while Harry steps from underneath the shower. He throws a grin at Louis as he wraps a towel around his hair and starts to rub it dry. “I didn’t know you and Niall were friends,” he says with a smile. 

Louis throws him a grin back. “I didn’t, either,” he replies. He looks at Harry as the younger boy takes the towel off of his hair. Louis can’t believe that someone who just got out of the shower can look so incredibly sexy. His hair is rubbed in every direction, his eyes sparkling brightly and his toned chest very much exposed. 

The older boy licks his lips as he shamelessly looks at Harry’s body. Harry notices and smirks at Louis. He grabs a hold of Louis’ shirt and pulls him closer. “Like what you see?” he asks seductively, making Louis look into his green orbs.

Louis smirks as well. “Pretty much,” he says as he crashes his lips onto Harry’s, releasing his hunger. Harry moans lightly, grabbing a handful of Louis’ shirt, tugging it slightly up. Louis shivers at Harry’s cold touch against his warm skin. 

Suddenly, Louis pulls back and quickly wipes his mouth. Harry looks at him a little confused, but Louis only tells him to be quiet. The younger boy’s eyes widen in realization when he hears the footsteps as well. 

“Tomlinson!” the loud voice of Mr Dockers cuts through the air. “You don’t have time for a nice little chat with your friend here. The showers of the sixth graders still have to be cleaned.” The old man gives Louis a look before turning around and walking away from the pair. 

Harry lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. That was close. He can’t imagine what would have happened if Mr Dockers would have caught them making out. They would probably be sent to the principal or something. They probably wouldn’t like it. 

“You heard the man, Curly, I gotta go,” Louis says, a small smile playing around his lips. He gives Harry a quick peck on his cheek before he turns around as well. He pulls on his overall again while walking away from the younger boy. 

Harry brushes lightly with his fingers over the spot where Louis’ lips where just moments ago. It is a little weird, because they have made out a lot, but they haven’t given each other a simple kiss or a small peck. 

The more he starts to think about it, the more he starts to get confused about their relationship. What are they to each other? He can’t call Louis he is boyfriend, because he doesn’t feel that way – or so he thinks – but they can’t call themselves just friends, either. Because that is not what friends do. 

How about friends with benefits? That describes them pretty much. They are just lust filled friends. Harry shakes his head. That sounds so wrong. But he simply shrugs his shoulders and starts to walk back towards his room.


	26. Brushing It Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You really have no idea how wide I smile when I see that I've got a new comment, and I literally start to giggle like a little girl when I see how lovely it is. You are all really lovely, so thank you loads. And I really like to use to word lovely (:

The corridors are still fairly cold at night. The teacher, who has a night shift, shivers as he walks out of the D-corridor of the fourth grade guys. Then it is empty. Until a boy, who doesn’t belong there, walks as quiet as possible through the corridor, stopping at the door of room number 154.

He opens the door and tries to make no sound to wake up one of the other boys. He shuffles through the darkness towards the bed on the right hand side. The boy sleeping in the bed is lying on his stomach, one bare leg poking out from underneath the covers. His wild curls are sprawled out on his pillow on his mouth is slightly agape. 

Harry’s eyes immediately snap open the moment a cold hand covers his mouth, his heart jumping wildly in his chest. The first thought that goes through his head is that he is getting murdered. He tries to wriggle out of the grasp, but the hand is too strong. 

“Stop moving.” It is just a whisper, but Harry can clearly hear him. The breath is hot in his neck and it makes shivers run down his spine. He knows exactly who is covering his mouth. “Don’t scream.” 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Harry whisper-yells. His eyes have adjusted to the darkness and he can see Louis standing next to his bed dressed in some basketball shorts hanging low on his hips, a dark blue and white striped shirt that fits his torso perfectly and a grey beanie that holds his hair back. He hasn’t bothered with putting on shoes. 

“Get out of bed,” he says, not really answering Harry’s question. “I’ll take you somewhere,” he adds after he receives a look from Harry. His answer doesn’t really please Harry, but he gets out of bed anyway. Louis shamelessly looks at Harry’s naked body as the younger boy walks towards the closet to pick out some underwear, black football shorts and a white shirt. 

After Harry has put his clothes on, they sneak quietly out of the room to not wake Liam or make a teacher suspicious. Harry still doesn’t know where they are going, but he doesn’t dare to ask, afraid that he might wake someone or something. 

Instead of going down, like Harry expected, Louis takes the stairs that go up. And he is wrong again when he thinks that they are going towards Louis’ room, but instead they take another set of stairs that Harry hasn’t even seen yet. They probably take them to the attic. 

“What are we doing here?” he asks as they reach the top of the stairs. He only receives a smirk from Louis. The older one walks further into the attic with Harry hot on his heels. He hears some soft talking and in the furthest corner are sitting a couple of people. He recognizes two girls and a boy. 

“Hi, Harry,” Eve says as they reach the little group. She gives him a smile which he returns. Next to her is sitting an auburn haired boy who he only slightly recognizes as one of Eve’s friends. She tells him his name is Elias. 

Elias has a large bottle of vodka standing in front of his feet and a couple of shot glasses next to it. Harry narrows his eyes. Are they planning to take shots just like that? What makes them want to do this? 

Next to Mona is a small girl sitting, who Harry only has seen once or twice. She has short, blondish white hair and the bluest eyes you have ever seen. It is a little bit creepy how blue they are. Her name is Renee.

The only other guy is Jonah, whom Harry has already met when they went out with Louis’ birthday. He is also one of Duncan’s gang, but he is like the nice one and Harry doesn’t mind him so much. He just thinks he is a bit stupid to go along with Duncan, but it is not like he can change any of that. 

“What are we going to do?” Harry asks, eyeing all of the people around him suspiciously. 

“Do you know the game ‘I’ve never’?” Elias asks him, filling up seven shot glasses and passing them through. Harry nods his head. He knows it, but he has never played though. 

“Good,” Mona says, taking her shot glass from Elias. “I’ll start. I’ve never ever smoked a cigarette, not even a drag.” Immediately six of the seven shot glasses are empty. Harry squeezes his eyes shut as the hot liquid burns his throat and his insides. 

Elias fills the glasses up again and Renee takes the next one. “I’ve never slept with a random person.” This time, only Louis and Elias empty their glasses. Harry looks at Louis with his eyebrows raised, but Louis only smirks. 

Harry is next. He thinks hard about things he has never done before that might sound interesting enough. He thinks of something that the others could have done before, making them drunk faster. “I’ve never punched or slapped someone in the face,” he eventually says. It sounds a bit lame, but he can’t think of anything better. 

Aside from Harry’s, only the glasses of Eve and Mona remain filled. Harry looks at Louis again, thinking back at the time he punched Duncan. It probably wasn’t his first time he punched someone. 

“I’ve never…” Louis says, tapping his chin while he thinks of something he has never done before. “I’ve never danced on a table while I was drunk.” A grin spreads across his face and he looks at Eve. She rolls her eyes in return and takes her shot. So do Renee and Elias. 

Jonah is next one and apparently he had already one in mind, because it came out pretty quickly. While looking between Louis and Mona he says: “I’ve never run naked on the street.” Mona burst into a fit of hysterical giggles and Louis has to laugh pretty hard himself. So do the others, but Harry isn’t really in on the joke. It probably has have happened on one of their nights out. 

When they calmed down a bit, Mona and Louis take their shots. And so does Harry, earning a surprised look from the others. Louis raises his eyebrows. “I think Harry has a wild side we haven’t discovered yet.” Harry grins, but only shrugs his shoulders.

To be honest, he has run naked on the street more than once. He likes to take off his clothes, but usually he does that when he is inside. However, when he had had a little to drink and his best friends encourage him to do so, he never backs out. They think it is funny and he feels amazing running around without clothes on. 

Next is Elias’ turn. “I’ve never…” he says while filling the empty shot glasses again and thinking about what he is going to say. “I’ve never had more than two weeks detention in a row.” Everyone drinks, except Mona, Eve and Elias. 

“What have you done?” Eve asks, looking at the people with empty glasses. She raises their eyebrows at them. Getting more than two weeks detention in a row _is_ a lot. 

“Going along with Kenneth,” Jonah says, shrugging his shoulders. 

Louis smirks at Eve’s question. “Only this year, or in general?” he asks. Eve rolls her eyes, but doesn’t reply. “Sneaking out and fighting. He deserved it, though.”

“Smoking,” Renee says, waving with her hand like it is nothing. “Got busted a few times.”

Eve looks at Harry and he realizes that he has to say his part now. He looks at the older boy next to him for a second, meeting his mesmerizing eyes before answering. “Going along with Louis.” 

Louis snorts and Eve shoots him a glare. “So typical,” she says while rolling her eyes again. “I told you he is trouble.” 

She did. And so did Liam. But it never really stopped Harry and to be honest he doesn’t regret it, going along with Louis. It has made things a bit less boring and it gave him the opportunity to get closer to Louis. He doesn’t regret getting close to Louis at all. In fact he quite likes it, more than he probably should. 

Louis raises his eyebrows at Eve, but doesn’t comment on her statement. Instead he says: “It’s your turn, Eva.” Eve chuckles at the nickname he just gave her and starts to think about what she hasn’t done yet. 

She a pretty devilish grins spreads across her face. “I’ve never kissed someone of the same gender,” she says. Harry feels his heartbeat race. Should he just take the shot? That are the rules, but he doesn’t know if he wants them to know that he has kissed a boy before. He could shrug it off as a drunken mistake.

After hesitating and seeing that Louis did take his shot, he empties his glass. The only other one that took the shot is Renee. But no one seemed to be surprised by that, however they are kind of surprised by Harry and Louis. Mona releases a squeak, her mouth soon covered by Renee’s hands to muffle the noise. Jonah and Elias have both pretty surprised looks on their faces, their mouth slightly hanging open. Eve mumbles a quite ‘I knew it’ that no one else hears. 

Mona points at Louis. “Who did you kiss?” she asks, her voice still high and full of surprise. The rest of the crowd seems to be as eager as her to hear the answer. Harry keeps his fingers crossed and hopes that his name won’t roll off of Louis’ tongue. 

He shrugs his shoulders like it is nothing, looking calm. But he is anything but calm. He has only kissed one boy in his life and he rather doesn’t spill that right here, right now. He doesn’t dare to look at Harry as he quickly thinks of something he could say. “I don’t quite remember,” he says slowly. “I think it was in a game like spin the bottle.” 

Harry wants Louis to answer something like this, but he can’t help but feel a little hurt at his words. He shrugs it off like it doesn’t mean a thing to him. Does it mean a thing to him? Does Harry actually mean anything to Louis? It seemed like it, but if he says things like that in such a flat and none caring tone it looks like he doesn’t. 

Harry shrugs it off, trying to catch Louis’ gaze. But Louis won’t look at him and the hurt only grows a little. He wants a look from Louis that says that he didn’t mean a thing of what he just said. That it was another boy before he met Harry. That he only said it to protect him. But he doesn’t get anything. Not a look, only the side of his face. 

“I think I’m going back to bed,” Harry says, pretending to let out a big yawn. He gets up from the floor and receives a chorus of ‘goodnight’s. He looks at Louis one last time before he wants to turn around. Their eyes meet, but the look in the older boy’s eyes is blank. It really doesn’t mean anything to him. 

Harry feels his heart sink as he quietly starts to descend the stairs that leads him back to third floor. He doesn’t even know why he feels so upset about it. He likes Louis, he figured that much. But they are not in a relationship, they are not in love. They only affection they show towards each other is physically and that doesn’t mean a lot, does it? 

So why be upset? He doesn’t know it, but he is and he can’t change it. He would like to, really but he just can’t. 

When he arrives at the top of the stairs that leads to the second floor he feels a cold hand touching his shoulder. He turns around to be met with some beautiful blue eyes. But they are not the eyes he wants to see. She is not the person he wants to be stopped by. 

Eve’s eyes are soft as she looks at Harry with concern in her eyes. “Harry, what’s wrong?” she asks quietly to not wake anyone. “You seemed a bit off those last minutes.”

Harry looks away from her eyes, hoping that she won’t see the lies in them. She is quite good at figuring people out. He shrugs his shoulders as he answers. “I’m a bit tired, is all.” She knits her eyebrows together like she doesn’t really believe him, but she doesn’t say anything. 

She releases his shoulder and gives him a goodnight kiss on his cheek before he turns around and walks down the stairs. He shivers a bit at the coldness that seems to hang around in the corridors. But it is still January, you know, it is not very uncommon. 

A warm hand firmly grasps Harry’s wrists, making him turn around. He can barely see who it is before two wet and warm lips crash against his. Harry’s head spins a bit, but he blames it on the alcohol he just consumed instead of the very delicious lips pressed against his. He moves his lips against them for a couple of seconds, not really wanting to pull away. 

But he does. “Get away from me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's starting to go downhill from here on


	27. Boiling Blood And Sweet Lips

Harry squeezes his eyes shut, grabbing his heavily throbbing head as Liam throws open the curtains. The bright light hurts his eyes and he turns around to bury his head deeply in his pillow. He doesn’t know how much vodka he consumed last night, but it is enough to have a massive hangover. 

“What have you done all night? You look miserable,” Liam says. Harry cracks one eye open to shoot him a glare. Liam is already completely dressed and Harry wonders how he does it. He never seems to have problems with getting up, no matter how early it is. 

“Why do you have to get up so early?” Harry asks, his voice hoarse and still thick from just waking up. It sounds just as bad as he feels. He half sits up, his head resting against the wall behind him while he rubs the sleep from his eyes. 

“Early?” Liam replies. “It’s past eleven already.” Harry’s eyes widen a little at that. He didn’t realize he slept that long. How long did he sit in the attic the previous night? Then it all comes rushing back in his mind. Louis’ words that shouldn’t hurt as much as they do. But it is like all this doesn’t mean a thing to him. Like Harry is just a toy to him. 

He slowly rolls out of bed, almost hitting the floor. He heads over to the showers to wash away his massive headache. He lets his tense muscles relax underneath the hot rays of water, letting his thoughts float away with the water. 

The rest of the week goes by in a blur and almost as bad as on the morning of the hangover. He doesn’t see the beautiful sparkling greenish blue eyes or the mischievous smirk. And even if he sees the older boy, the grin isn’t present nor do the eyes sparkle as bright as they did before. They are hard and cold and Harry tries to avoid them as much as possible. 

“Harry!”

Harry turns around at the sound of his name being called. His eyes meet the crystal blue ones of a beautiful brunette that goes by the name Eve. She smiles reassuring at him, like he is not going to like what she is going to say next. 

“How are you doing?” she asks with a smile, her voice sweet as sugar. Harry rolls his eyes at her attempt to sound casual, but he knows that she wants to say something else and they is not going to like it. 

“Cut to the chase, Eve,” he says. She lets out a big sigh, mentally preparing herself and obviously trying to choose her words carefully. But there isn’t a nice way of asking this without getting to the point. 

“What’s going on between you and Louis?” she finally blurts out. 

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “Nothing,” he says. To be honest, he doesn’t really know what is going on between the two of them. They haven’t talked to each other since that night in the attic. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he is hurt about how casual Louis was about ‘that kiss’. And the how emotionless his eyes looked, like it never happened. He just doesn’t care about it. He hasn’t even made an attempt to talk to Harry. 

“It’s clearly something since you haven’t talked to him all week,” Eve says. “And it bothers you.” She rolls her eyes at him. Eve is pretty much a mind reader. She always seems to know what is going on with people. Sometimes it can be useful, but sometimes – like now – it can be pretty, fucking annoying. 

“Okay, okay. I don’t care what it is,” she says after that Harry doesn’t reply to her. “But you have to talk to him. And don’t you dare to say no. It bothers you and I want you to talk to him so you two can be friends again.”

Harry lets out a big sigh, knowing that protesting would be useless and that he doesn’t really have another choice. Eve smiles reassuring at him, saying that it will be okay, and she grabs his arm to drag him towards to staircase. “It won’t be that bad,” she says. 

She knocks on the door of Louis’ room. Harry feels his heart beat faster. He is mad at Louis, but what is he supposed to say? That he likes him and that the older boy has hurt his feelings. Well, he is not going to do that, being all vulnerable in front of Louis. Especially not with Eve next to him. 

“He’s probably not here,” Harry says after a few moments of silence. He turns on his heels to walk away, but Eve grabs his shirt and holds him in place. He stops in his tracks, closing his eyes. He really doesn’t want to do this. 

“I know he is,” she says, grabbing the door handle and pushing the door open. Eve lets out something along the lines of a yell and curses loudly. She pulls the door shut again, but Harry has seen the scene behind the door. He has seen Louis. He has seen him lying half naked on top of a girl. He doesn’t even know who the girl is and he doesn’t care, either. 

Harry storms away, trying to hold back his tears. He hears Eve yell after him, but he doesn’t turn around. He hears Louis’ door open again and he hears the older boy’s voice, but he doesn’t understand the words he is saying. He hears Eve yelling again, but her words are not directed at Harry this time. 

He doesn’t even know why he is crying. He knows that Louis doesn’t care, he has made that much clear the other day. Sure, he likes Louis, but he is not in love with him. It shouldn’t feel too good, but it shouldn’t break his heart into a million little pieces. It was already fragile and Louis just set his foot on it to crack it. 

He pushes the door of his room open, tears now freely streaming down his cheeks. He is happy that Liam is with his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to explain anything and he doesn’t want to lie, either. Harry starts to pace back and forth, grabbing his hair in his hands. He really feels like screaming his lungs out, but he doesn’t. People would look weirdly at him. 

Liam was right after all. Louis is trouble. He causes a mess in people their lives. He makes them feel hurt and used. He isn’t all that great as Harry first thought. He isn’t that fantastic. But how, Harry wonders, how was he then able to fall in love with him if he isn’t that special? 

He can’t do anything else then admit it already. He wouldn’t feel this way if Louis was just a simple crush. He wouldn’t be this crushed if Louis was nothing but a friend. He wouldn’t feel heartbroken if he wasn’t in love with the arsehole.

Speaking of which, the arsehole comes barking into Harry’s room, now completely dressed. His eyes show so many things, but the most present one is confusion. Harry stops pacing back and forth and looks at the older boy, anger rushing through his body. He feels a lot like punching in Louis’ pretty little face. 

And then kiss at all better…

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Harry spits out at him, almost screaming. He looks in Louis’ eyes, burning him to the ground with his gaze. If looks could kill… 

“Harry…” Louis’ voice is soft and broken, cracking a bit at the end. But Harry doesn’t pay attention to it. He doesn’t want to pay attention to it. He doesn’t want Louis to be vulnerable and make Harry forgive him so easily. He wants him to fight back. 

“Are you doing this on purpose?” His voice is full of venom and every word feels like a punch in the guts for Louis. He really doesn’t understand what is going on, what he is doing on purpose.

“Harry.”

“Do you think this is funny?” Harry ignores Louis once again. Louis starts to get angry as well. Harry doesn’t even want to listen to him. He doesn’t care about what Louis has to say, he doesn’t want to hear his opinion. 

“What –” Louis hisses as he harshly grabs Harry’s wrist, pushing him against the wall and looking him straight into his emerald eyes. Harry tries to wriggle his arms out of Louis’ dead grip, but the older boy is stronger than him. “– is funny?” 

Harry’s eyes are on fire, looking hard into Louis’ cold ones. “There’s nothing funny,” he spits. “You’re just fucking with me.” 

Louis furrows his eyebrows, his eyes not changing a bit, remaining just as cold. “And what exactly did I do?” he asks, his voice just as cold as his eyes. It doesn’t scare Harry this time. His burning anger takes care of that. 

He lets out an humourless laugh. “What did you do? Do you really have to ask that? Are you really that oblivious? First you push me away, then you get closer and you make me fall for you and now you leave me like I don’t mean a fucking thing to you.” Every word is full of anger and every word is like a stab in the heart for Louis. But it just makes him even more angry at the younger boy, because he doesn’t understand. 

“Maybe you deserved it.” It is just a low hiss, full of venom and it makes Harry’s blood boil even more than it already does. Giving up on wriggling out of Louis’ grasp, he has found another way to lose the grip of the older boy on his wrist. He just spits him in the face. 

Louis’ hands immediately release Harry’s arms, taking a step back. He wipes the saliva off of his face with his arm. His anger has cooled down and the only thing remaining present in his eyes are hurt. He looks at Harry with his gaze full of hurt. It doesn’t make Harry back down. “And you deserved that one.” 

“Maybe you did the same thing,” Louis says softly. “You tried to get close to me and I pushed away because I was scared. But it wasn’t really a use to push away, so I let you in. You make me fall for you, but then you simply turn your back on me without a reason and ignore me like _I_ don’t mean a thing to _you_.” 

Harry just stares at the older boy after his rant. He made Louis fall for him? He didn’t realize that. How could he? Louis never showed any emotion of that sort. Louis never showed he loved him, that he meant more than just his friend.

“But what about that girl?” Harry asks softly. He has calmed down a bit and now he is clearly confused after Louis’ confession. How can he sleep with someone else while he fell for Harry? It is kind of controversial, isn’t it? 

“You didn’t seem to care anymore, so I thought I should try to not care as well,” Louis replies. He realizes now what a big mistake that was. Harry obviously cares. And turning his back to Louis was just a sign of caring too much. “And she practically threw herself at me.” Harry just nods his head. 

He grabs Louis’ shirt, pulling him closer. He immediately reacts by pressing his lips against Harry’s. Harry gasps and Louis takes the opportunity to shove his tongue inside, which Harry gladly receives. Louis’ warm and wet tongue sets his whole body on fire. He has missed those lips. 

Louis’ fingers are pressing bruises into Harry’s jaws, but none of them care about it. Because Harry’s nails are scratching red marks in the flesh of Louis’ sides, pulling him closer if that is even possible. 

Harry lets out a low moan as Louis’ hands move from his jaw to tug lightly on his wild hair, running his hands through it and massaging the younger boy’s scalp. He really can’t get enough of Harry’s amazing hair. It is so soft, like it is just water flowing through his fingers. 

Louis tugs on Harry’s hair again, pulling his head down a bit so the pale of flesh of his neck is more exposed. Louis connects his lips with it, making Harry moan loudly as a shock of electricity flows through his body. Louis has done this a lot, but it has never felt this good. He is feeling more lightheaded than he usually does and his heart racing faster than before. 

Louis earns more sweet sounds from Harry as he lets his teeth sink into the delicious skin, biting and nibbling sweetly and leaving a clear mark. He presses a light kiss on it, making goose bumps appear on Harry’s skin, before connecting their lips once again. 

Harry’s pulls away for a moment to catch his breath as he looks into Louis’ beautiful blue eyes. Every trace of anger has disappeared and his eyes are full of lust. But Harry can also see something else. Something that always has been there, but he never really paid attention to it. He can’t quite put his finger on what it exactly is. 

As he regained his breath again, Harry tugs on Louis’ shirt, making him move towards his bed. He lets his body collapse on it, pulling Louis on top of him. He smirks at the older boy before he starts to kiss him again only breaking it for a split second as he pulls Louis’ and then his own shirt over their heads. 

Louis aims for Harry’s collarbone, sucking and biting on it, leaving another mark. Harry breathes loudly as Louis suck on his skin, letting out some loud moans. Then he breathes out something that Louis hasn’t really expected. 

“Make love to me.”


	28. Love Hurts

“Make love to me.” It sounds more like a sigh, but Louis has heard Harry’s words clearly. He freezes on the spot and slowly lifts his head to look Harry in the eyes. Harry looks lovingly at him with eyes he can barely refuse anything to. But he isn’t sure if this is right. If they should do that right now.

“It’ll hurt like hell,” Louis says in a low voice, almost whispering. It will and he doesn’t want to hurt Harry. Not after he hurt him so bad already, although it will be a different kind of pain. Pain you can’t compare.

A small smile appears on Harry’s face as he cups Louis’ cheeks with his hands and presses a light kiss on his lips. “I don’t care,” he says softly, his thumb brushing along Louis’ jawline. But he hasn’t convinced Louis yet. It is not that he doesn’t want to, but he is just a bit unsure. It is something completely different than sleeping with a girl.

“I’ll be fine,” Harry whispers. Louis smiles at him. If he really wants it, then who is he to refuse it? If he is really sure, then who is he to deny it? To be honest, as soon as the words left Harry’s mouth, he got a little excited about it.

Louis leans forward to press his lips softly on the younger boy’s. He kisses him sweetly and slowly while he starts to unbutton Harry’s pants. Harry licks his bottom lip, begging for entrance and Louis happily obliges.

Harry’s hand are on Louis’ bare lower back, pressing him against his own body and setting the older boy’s body on fire. A low moan escapes his lips as Harry presses his fingers into his flesh, rubbing small circles on his soft skin.

Harry’s hands travel down towards the waist of Louis’ jeans, following the fabric until he reaches the button and zipper to undo them. Louis grinds his hips against Harry’s once the clothing is taken off. Harry gasps loudly while Louis presses his lips harder against the curly haired boy’s, shoving his tongue inside. 

Their kisses are sloppy, wet and open mouthed, filled with moans and gasps, while the roll their hips in rhythm. Harry has a hard time breathing properly while his body is filled with pleasure. Louis is a bit light headed, electricity flowing through his body. 

“Lou, I’m ready for it,” Harry chokes out when Louis’ mouth leaves his and starts to suck on the pale skin of his neck, traveling down towards his collarbone. Louis only sucks harder at Harry’s words, biting down and earning a loud moan. He yanks Harry’s boxers off without taking his lips off of the other boy. 

He presses another light kiss on Harry’s lips as he takes the younger boy’s length in his hands, earning another loud moan. Harry buckles his hips upwards as Louis starts to move his hand, his toes curling as waves of pleasure roll through his body. 

He lets out a small whine as Louis pulls his hand back to take off his own boxers. He then hovers over Harry again, putting three of his fingers in his mouth. Harry happily starts to suck and lick them, working his way with his tongue around Louis’ fingers. Louis gives him a small smirk as he pulls his fingers back again. 

“You ready?” he asks softly as he spreads Harry’s legs for better entrance. Harry gives him a curt nod of his head and Louis pushes his first finger inside. Harry lets out a small whimper, but quickly tells Louis that everything is alright. He doesn’t want him to stop now. So Louis starts to move his finger and Harry lets out another loud moan. The pain immediately fades to a small pressure, while pleasure is dominant to it.

Louis adds another finger, scissoring them and gaining more sweet sounds from the younger boy. The pressure grows a little, but the good feeling is still dominant and Louis pushes his third and last finger inside. Harry is on the edge of pain now, but he still wants Louis to go on. He doesn’t want him to stop now. 

After moving his fingers for a couple of moments, Louis pulls them out. “You still want to do this?” he asks, hoping that Harry won’t say no. He has got him too excited now. But much to his luck, Harry feverishly nods his head. Louis smiles at him and gives him a small kiss while he lines himself up. 

Harry lets out something between a loud moan and a scream when Louis pushes himself inside. He squeezes his eyes shut as a burning pain rips through his body, making him feel like he is being torn in two. “Are you alright?” Louis asks worriedly. 

“Move,” Harry groans while gritting his teeth. Louis obliges and starts to slowly move his hips, hoping that he doesn’t hurt him more than he is already doing. Harry lets go of the breath he has been holding as the pain lessens a bit. It is still very much present, but a faint feeling of pleasure starts to appear as well. 

A loud moan falls from his lips as Louis hits his sweet spot. Gaining sounds that look more like screams than moans every time he hits that certain spot, Louis starts to quicken his pace. Harry’s mouth is wide open, a small layer of sweet has formed on his chest and forehead. His eyes are open now, but they are rolled back. 

Louis also lets some beautiful sounds escape past his lips. He leans forward to press some open mouthed kisses on Harry’s lips to try and swallow the younger boy’s half screams. He doesn’t need anyone to suspect things or ask questions later. 

After a while of Louis thrusting into him, Harry feels himself getting close, pleasure building up at the pit of his stomach, but he doesn’t have to breath or power to tell Louis so. His head is spinning wildly and his vision is dotted, not seeing a single thing. His cheeks are burning with hotness and sweat is covering his tense body. 

He releases with a scream that is muffled by Louis’ mouth. He tightens around Louis’, sending the older boy over the edge as well with a loud moan. Louis takes his mouth away from Harry’s, pressing their foreheads together and pulling out at the same time. Their chests move heavily up and down as they take deep breathes while gazing into each other’s eyes. Louis wipes away a tear that has escaped from the corner of Harry’s eye. “I’m sorry that I hurt you,” he whispers. 

Harry follows him with his eyes as Louis crawls off of him and lays down next to the younger boy. He then snuggles closer to Louis, intertwining their legs. Louis turns his face so he can look Harry in the eyes. “I wanted it,” Harry says, his voice a bit hoarse. 

Louis gives him a small smile, not bothering with a reply. He knows that Harry wanted it and he hopes that he enjoyed at least a little, because he definitely did, but he can’t help but feel a bit guilty for making him scream in pain like that. 

Louis turns around to look at the alarm clock on the other bedside table and notices that it is almost eight. “I probably should get going,” he says, while getting out of bed. “Your roommate will be back soon.”

Harry nods his head, but he doesn’t really want Louis to go. But he knows he has to. Imagine the look on Liam’s face if the two of them would be lying in his bed, naked and smelling like sex. He doesn’t really want to live that day. 

He sits up a little and watches as Louis gets dressed, admiring his body that he starts to hide away by putting on his clothes. Louis knows that Harry is staring at him, but he doesn’t mind. Not after this. He has never minded, actually. He likes the thought that Harry stares at him just because he can’t keep his eyes off of him. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Louis says, pecking Harry on the lips and then quickly leaving the room, not wanting to be caught. He can’t fight back the smile from appearing on his face as he thinks back at past few hours. There couldn’t have been a bigger change of events and it couldn’t have gone better. 

As soon as Louis leaves the room, Harry feels a rush of tiredness washing over him. His eyelids start to droop and all he really wants to do right now is sleep. He doesn’t really care that it is only eight in the evening and that he actually should study for his test of Geography of the next day. He just wants to sleep. 

But although he is exhausted, Harry doesn’t sleep really well that night. Soreness slowly starts to take over his body. His eyes fly open in pain every time he turns on his back. And that is often, because he usually always sleeps on his back. That is how he is most comfortable and it doesn’t feel right to sleep on his stomach. 

Liam’s alarm goes off way too early the next morning. Harry was finally able to fall into a slumber you could call comfortable. He slowly stretches his tense muscles and groans a little in pain. He hears Liam getting out of bed, but Harry only pulls to covers over his head to block out all light and sound. 

When his eyes start to droop again, he jumps a little when he feels a hand touching his shoulder. “Get up, mate,” he hears Liam’s voice through the thick duvet. “It’s almost past eight. Otherwise you’re going to miss class.”

“Don’t wanna,” Harry mumbles just loud enough for Liam to hear it. Liam just chuckles and pat Harry’s back before disappearing out of the room. Harry groans again and after a few more moments he finally rolls out of bed. 

He winces a bit as he stands up from his mattress and starts to walk towards his closet, making a funny movement as he does so. Harry sighs loudly. He knew he was going to feel it, but he didn’t know it would hurt that much. He probably won’t be able to sit properly today. Hopefully the pain will disappear soon. 

“Rough morning?” Niall asks, shoving a forkful of eggs in his mouth as Harry pulls a face while he sits down on his hard, wooden chair. The only response the blonde gets is a low growl, but it is enough for him to go on. 

“So has Zayn,” he says, his mouth full of food while he gestures with his fork towards the older boy. Zayn’s head is lying in his arms, his eyes closed and his mouth agape, a small trickle of drool comes out of it. “Don’t know what he did last night, but he came back pretty late. Probably found a bird and doesn’t want to tell us. What do you think, Liam?” 

Liam looks up from his plate to eye the sleeping boy and then nods his head, his turning to Niall. “Probably,” he says. He is obviously not as interested in the subject as Niall is, but the younger one doesn’t seem to notice Liam’s lack of interest and keeps rambling on about it. 

Eventually, they have to wake Zayn up and him for their first classes. The three others are quickly ahead of Harry as he walks really slowly, his legs a little more open than when you normally walk. It looks a bit awkward, but it doesn’t hurt as much as he walks normal. 

“What are you doing?” The smirk is clearly audible in his voice and Harry turns around to throw him a dirty glare. Louis’ grin only grown wider. 

“This is your fault,” Harry hisses. His mind wanders off back to last night. It had hurt so incredibly much, he has never felt so much pain in his life before, but it was all worth it. He knows if they will do it again, it won’t hurt that much anymore. It will hurt less with each time. 

“Does it hurt that much?” Louis asks, a bit of worry appearing on his face. Harry only nods his head, but doesn’t bother with replying, which concerns Louis more. “You don’t regret it, do you?” 

Harry suddenly stops in his tracks, making Louis bump into him. He turns his head to look into his Louis’ beautiful blue eyes. “Of course I don’t regret it,” he says, a small smile appearing on his face. “It is worth the pain.” 

A look of relief washes over Louis’ face. Then worried Louis disappears and his smirk returns. “Good, because I wasn’t planning on this being the only time,” he says before he gives Harry one last look and then walk towards his class. Harry only grins as the older boy walks away from him. 

He wasn’t planning on it, either.


	29. Whether You Whisper Or Yell

The study hall slowly starts to fill with people of the fourth, fifth and sixth grade. Harry tries to make his way through the crowd of pupils to find his friends, who are sitting somewhere in the middle. He falls down on a chair next to Zayn. “What is going on?” he asks. 

“They are going to fill us in on the field trip of this year,” he says, lowering his voice as everyone finally has taken a seat and one of the teachers walks toward the microphone in the very front of the study hall. Everyone quiets down as she coughs into it. 

“Where are we going?” Harry whispers back at Zayn. He hopes it won’t be one of those stupid school trips where they go to the most boring place of England to see something from Wold War II or something like that. He has had enough of those already. 

But Zayn only shrugs his shoulders. “They haven’t announced it yet,” he says. “But it’s either Paris, Berlin or Bruges. It is always one of those three, but I think they went to Berlin last year.” Harry nods his head. They are at least leaving Great Britain. 

“Good morning fourth, fifth and last years,” the teacher finally speaks up after succeeding to get the pupils silence. “We’re gathered together on this lovely day to inform you a bit more of this year’s field trip. As you know, the fourth, fifth and sixth graders go either to Berlin, Bruges or Paris all together. Of course the last years still remember our lovely trip to Paris two years ago, the fifth graders also can think back at our amazing trip to Berlin last year, so this year we will be going to the beautiful and historical Bruges.” 

Groans are clearly audible in sea of pupils. Everyone wants to go to Paris, that is the most exciting one out of the three, according to a lot of people. Berlin is kind of okay and not a lot of pupils mind it, but Bruges is just plain boring. There is nothing to do out there, just an old city that isn’t even that big. 

“Come, come, Bruges really isn’t that bad,” the teacher tries to cheer up the pupils. She kind of fails. “Anyway, whether you like it or not, we’re going. There are a lot of amazing things to see out there, like beautiful old churches, nice museums and medieval buildings.” After another groan she adds: “Of course there are some nice clothing shops where you can go in your spare time and you can go out. They make the best beer in Belgium.” 

The headmaster coughs loudly after those words slipped her mouth. She wasn’t supposed to say _that_. But she said and she finally got some cheers from the pupils and she has to fight back a smile for finally succeeding to get them to look forward to it. 

“Okay, quit down,” she continues. “We’re leaving next week. You’ll get a letter with what you have to bring and what you better leave here. We’re on a school trip, so that means to same rules count. We have only made a slight difference compared to last year. You can leave your uniforms in school.” And that causes more cheers. The smile appears on her face. 

“You have to give up your name with your roommates before Wednesday so we can make the room division and hang them out on Thursday. There are rooms for two, three or four people. Obviously, girls aren’t allowed in boy’s rooms and the other way around. That’s it.” She takes a step back, away from the microphone and then just leaves the sight at all. 

“Nice, we’re going to Bruges,” Zayn says sarcastically with a loud sigh and rolling his eyes. He clearly agrees to the people who think Bruges is boring. “However, that means the next year it will only get better.” Him and Harry get from their seats and head for the doors of the Study Hall where teachers are handing out pieces of paper, followed by Niall and Liam. Harry grabs one of the papers and reads it through. 

_Dear pupil,_

_This year’s field trip we are headed towards the beautiful and historical Bruges, near the coast of Belgium. On Monday the 31st of January we take the train of 8.25 a.m. in London towards the capital Brussels. Then we take a train from the capital towards our destination, Bruges Station. We eat lunch at noon, then head out for our first exploration of the beautiful city. The rest of the activities is still a surprise._

_When : Monday 31st of January – Sunday 7th of February  
Hotel: Martin’s Brugge, Oude Burg 5, 8000 Bruges (only 50 metres away from the Grote Markt)  
What do you need: warm clothes, good shoes, shower stuff, toothbrush and toothpaste, pen and paper, a little bit of money  
What do you not need: electronica, cigarettes or drugs, alcohol or any sorts of illegal stuff  
Teachers: Louise Belle, Martin Calvin, Jeffrey Carter, Elisa Clearwater, Mick Collins, Benjamin Farrell, Danny Hendrickson, Joanna Linton, Phoebe O’Malley, Veronique Pais, Tom Pearl, Caitlyn Parker, Lucas Reese, Katherine Smith, Howard Wilson _

_Have fun!_

Harry quickly reads the letter through. Great, they leave the 31st of January. That means that he can spend his birthday in Bruges, a city that appears to be the most boring you will ever go to. Or at least for youngsters like him. Old people might think that all those historical buildings are interesting, but not him. 

“So what do you think?” Liam says as they enter their room again. “Bruges.” Harry throws the letter on his desk, while Liam neatly folds it and puts into one of his folders. He can see that Niall crumbles it and pushes it deep into his pocket and Zayn hasn’t even bothered to take one. 

“Interesting,” Harry says with a voice that shows that he thinks it is everything but interesting. He lets himself fall back on his bed, while Liam takes a seat on his own, with Niall next to him and Zayn on a desk chair. 

“Everyone seems so depressed about it, but I think it’s a really great city,” Liam says, shrugging his shoulder as if to say that he is sorry for having that opinion. “I think their languages is fascinating.” 

“What do they speak in Bruges?” Niall asks, knitting his eyebrows together as he thinks about it. Zayn face palms himself as if he can’t understand why Niall is so stupid. 

“Dutch, you idiot,” Zayn says. “You should know that by now.” He rolls his eyes at him as the blonde puts his middle finger up at the older boy. He just reacts by childishly sticking his tongue out at Niall. 

“It’s actually Flemish,” Liam says. “They speak Dutch in Holland, but a lot of Belgian people just say they speak Dutch.” How does he know that? Harry thinks. It is completely useless to know such things. 

“Ha!” Niall yells, pointing his finger at Zayn. “Who’s stupid now, huh?” His face glows from triumph, glad that Zayn is wrong as well. 

“Still you,” Zayn replies with another roll of his eyes. Niall sticks his bottom lip out, his face turning into a pout. Liam slightly laughs at him, softly slapping his cheek and making him pout even more. 

“Come on,” Niall says. “It’s time for dinner. I’m starving.” He rubs his stomach which makes a grumbling sound to prove his point. Zayn merely laughs at him before throwing a pull in his face and then they all get up to go down and eat their dinner. 

Harry sees Louis talking to a little girl that seems to be a first or second grader when they arrive in the Great Hall. Louis sees him too and he motions at Harry to stop and wait for him. Harry does so, telling his friends to go on without him already and he can’t help but hear what the girl and Louis are saying to each other. 

“London, Louis! London!” the girl says. Harry notices that she has the same beautiful blue eyes as Louis. He suddenly remembers Louis telling him that he has four younger sisters and the one of them is a first grader here at Westminster. This must be his sister. “Could they chose anything closer?”

Louis smirks a little at the girl, the smirk that Harry has seen so many times already. “Of course not,” he replies. “They just want to annoy you.”

The girl rolls her eyes, but then her face turns from annoyed to serious. “Is this how you feel about mum?” Harry watches as Louis smirk drops and his face turns slightly angry. Harry always gets scared when he sees that face, but his sister doesn’t seem to back away. Maybe she is used to this?

“Don’t start this now, Lottie,” Louis says, his tone a bit harsh. Harry stands up a bit straighter. He knows it is none of his business, but to be honest he is a bit curious to Louis relationship with his mother. From what he has heard, it isn’t the best. Not that Harry has such a good relationship with his mother. 

“She’s miserable, Louis,” the girl who is supposedly Lottie says. “She feels horrible for you ignoring her like that. You never call her and you refuse to visit her during the breaks.” Well, that actually sounds like a pretty bad relationship between the two. 

“Now she knows how I feel –”

“That’s not true, Louis,” Lottie says almost immediately. “That’s not true. She loves you, she doesn’t ignore you. But it’s not easy for her, with dad leaving and having to raise five children. You are too hard on her.” 

“I’m not, Lottie. You’re supposed to care about your children,” Louis says. His eyes look around briefly before they meet Harry’s and his gaze changes. His eyes tell Harry that he shouldn’t have heard that. It makes him vulnerable and he doesn’t want anyone to know that he is hurt that his mother doesn’t seem to care about him. 

He looks at his sister one last time before giving her a short goodbye and walking over to Harry. Harry looks at him, but he doesn’t say anything. Louis probably doesn’t want to say anything about it and he is not going to press the older boy. He knows how it feels and he doesn’t like to talk about, either. 

“Don’t ask me about it,” Louis mumbles quietly before he walks towards the canteen. Harry shrugs his shoulders and quickly follows him. To be honest, it just makes him want to ask questions about it. Louis has got him pretty curious now. Yet he doesn’t say anything about it. 

“I’m surprised,” Louis finally says as they both take a seat opposite from each other. Harry hopes that his friends won’t scold him for sitting with Louis, but he has looked around and not seen them. He raises his eyebrows at the older boy. “You haven’t asked anything.” 

There is no mischievous smirk or playful grin on his face. He is dead serious and it is a bit scary to Harry. He hasn’t seen Louis this serious, only when he is angry but that is a completely different type of being serious. “Well, you obviously don’t like the subject,” Harry says with a shrug of his shoulder like it doesn’t really interest him. But it does, he is really curious now. 

“Okay,” Louis says, shrugging his shoulders as well. He stabs his fork a bit too aggressively in his baked potatoes before shoving it into his mouth. Harry looks at him with his mouth slightly open, frustrated at Louis because he got him hanging. “What?”

“Come on now!” Harry says, throwing his arms in the air, a bit of his broccoli flying around. He doesn’t pay attention to it as he mentions for Louis to tell him more. He can’t say that he is surprised and then stop giving more information. 

Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry. “I thought you respected my dislike for the subject,” he says, putting another bite of food in his mouth while he eyes never leave Harry’s face. Well, he kind of does, but his curiousness got the better hand.

“Okay, we’ll make a deal,” Harry says, putting his fork down and leaning forward. Louis raises another eyebrow and waits for Harry to go on. He has to admit, he is kind of curious as well now. He figured he could actually tell Harry everything since he heard half of it already. And it is even better if he could get something out of it. “You tell your story, I’ll tell mine.” 

Louis smiles. “Deal.”


	30. Your Story To Tell

Louis closes the door behind him as Harry has already taken a seat on his bed. He is a bit too eager for Louis’ liking to hear all about his miserable home life. It really isn’t that great, nor is it really special. It just completely sucks. He lets out a big sigh before he takes a seat on the bed as well, looking up into Harry’s eyes. “Begin,” the younger boy says.

“Well, it all starts when my mum and dad started to fight. He is not my actual dad, but I look at him like my actual dad –” Louis starts but is cut off by Harry already. He throws him a look, but lets him continue nonetheless.

“What about your real dad?”

Louis shrugs his shoulders like he doesn’t really care about his real dad. “I don’t really know him. He left when I was really young. My mum married my stepdad a year later and I’ve taken over his last name as well. I haven’t seen my dad ever since.” He doesn’t tell Harry that he is hurt by the fact that his dad never bothered to get into contact with him after his divorce with his mum. He is still his son, after all.

It takes a while for Harry to process this all. His real last name isn’t actually Tomlinson and he barely knows his dad. His dad basically doesn’t care about him since he left his mum. That shouldn’t be too easy. And Louis has only begun.

“Anyway,” Louis continues. “My mum and my stepdad started to fight. They screamed a lot at each other, making my little sisters cry. They were so caught up into one other that they barely looked at us anymore. I took care of my sisters, meaning that I comforted them when they were sad and such things. My mum still cooked and those kind of things, but she just wasn’t there. Her thoughts were always elsewhere.

“My stepdad eventually left. I think a weight sort of lifted of her shoulders. She was more present again and I thought that things were going to be fine again. She looked after my sisters again like she did before, but they didn’t ask many questions. I however, did and I don’t think she wanted to involve me too much so she pushed me away. She just doesn’t realize that the divorce affects me just as much as it does to her or my sisters, even though he isn’t my real dad.

“To me it started to seem that my mum barely cared about me anymore. She did all sort of things with my sisters to let them not think too much about my dad, but she never involved me. It felt like she was trying to avoid me, probably so I won’t ask question. So that she won’t have to tell the story to me, because I really wanted to know. I still don’t know. But I don’t really care anymore.”

When he is done, he looks up at Harry with his eyes looking sad. Harry really wants to go over and give him a hug, but he doesn’t know how much Louis will allow. He doesn’t want him to push Harry away, not now he has gotten so close. But he can’t stand it anymore when he feels that Louis is about to cry.

He moves a little closer to the older boy, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. Louis immediately reacts by grabbing Harry’s shirt tightly into his fist, putting his head in the crook of his neck. He doesn’t cry though, but the hug is very much needed. He can definitely use someone who cares about him.

After a few minutes of sitting like that with Harry rubbing Louis’ back while his breath is hot in Harry’s neck, sending shivers down his spine, Louis finally pulls back. His eyes still look sad, but he sends Harry a look, telling him thank you without saying it out loud. Harry understands and responds with a small smile.

“It’s your turn,” Louis says after a few more moments of silence, his voice a bit hoarse. Harry hoped that Louis would have forgotten about it, but he owes him that much. Louis has showed his vulnerability, now it is his turn to throw out his story.

“Where should I start?” he says, thinking of the best way to tell his story. He fumbles a bit with the hem of his shirt, but Louis suddenly grabs his hands, making him look up into his beautiful greenish blue eyes.

“It’s just me,” he says. “You don’t have to be nervous. I won’t judge you if that is what you’re scared about.” He releases Harry’s hand, leaving them cold behind. Harry kind of hoped that he would have let his hands stay there. It gave him some strange kind of comfort. “Just start at the beginning.”

He lets out a big sigh, much like Louis had before telling his story. “I guess I should begin with the day that I got expelled from my school in Holmes Chapel. There had been money stolen from the school safe and me and a friend where just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They accused us and they seemed to have evidence, because he we pretty much got caught with the money in our hands. The thing is that some assholes stole the money and we came across them in the corridors, they heard some noise, got scared and shove the money in our hands. Evidence enough.

“Me and my friend didn’t want to admit that we stole it, because we didn’t. But no one believed us. We got suspended for two weeks and we had to do community service. The actual thieves mocked us about it and I just lost control. Of course the headmaster had seen that as well and I got expelled for stealing and fighting.

“But that wasn’t the worst thing. Every single soul thought that me and my friend had stolen the money. My girlfriend broke up with me because she didn’t want to date a thief. Most of my other friends turned their back to me and my friend because they didn’t want to have anything to do with stealing people and they might have been afraid that we would steal from them as well. The only two people who believed us are the ones you met in London. My parents didn’t believe me, either. I told them my story, but they just didn’t believe me.

“They lost their trust in me. They couldn’t believe that I kept lying after we got caught with the money in our hands. But I didn’t lie and I couldn’t understand that they didn’t believe me. That no one believed me. So I lost my trust in them as well. I got torn away from all the people that I love over a misunderstanding and some assholes.”

Also Harry has looked down while telling his story and lifts his gaze as soon as he is done to fathom Louis’ reaction. Harry can read in his eyes that he feels bad for Harry that he lost his friends that way. But he can’t help but feel a bit happy that he is now girlfriendless, so he can have Harry all to himself. He doesn’t show it, though. Instead he asks: “Is that why your mum sent you here?”

Harry slowly nods his head. “Yeah, I needed a new school anyway and she wanted something strict so I wouldn’t relapse. That it is a boarding school is only a plus for her, so she doesn’t have to deal with me all the time. She always thought my sister was better anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“My sister is little miss perfect to my parents,” Harry says, green orbs boring into blue ones. “She has always behaved herself, always had good grades. I didn’t do anything major, but I didn’t follow every single rule, either. The stealing just proved their point.”

That sounds a bit familiar to Louis. His sisters are little angels and everything he does is wrong. At least that is what his parents think. And some teachers have said that as well. ‘Are you supposed to set an example for Charlotte?’ or ‘Why aren’t you more like your sister?’ are the most popular one’s. “I know what you mean.”

Harry snorts, making Louis look up to throw a glare his way. There is nothing funny about that. “Look at us,” he says to clarify his laughter. “We’re two fuck ups. We fit so well.”

Louis lets out a small laugh as well. “We do fit well,” he says with a chuckle. “But you are more fucked up than I am.” He watches Harry with a sly smirk as the younger boy gives him the death glare.

“Thanks, mate.”

Louis crawls a bit closer. “You’re very welcome,” he says in Harry’s ear, his voice low and his hot breath, making a shiver run down Harry’s spine. He softly nibbles on his earlobe before he opens his mouth again. “But I like your fucked up state.”

Much to Harry’s disappointment, Louis pulls away already. He sticks his bottom lip out as a small pout forms on his face, but Louis merely laughs it off. It is hard to resist a puppy dog face like that one, a very beautiful one, but he doesn’t feel up for it right now. He just spilled one of his biggest secrets.

“Now that we’re doing serious talk,” Harry says. “Can I ask you something?” Louis’ heart jumps a bit. He is almost sure what Harry is going to ask next. And he doesn’t know if he is up to talk about it. He already spilled half of his feelings and he isn’t sure how much more he wants to tell. But he guesses he will have to.

“You’re already asking me something,” he says, trying to lighten it a bit. Harry only gives him a small smile, not really reacting to it. “But yeah, go for it.”

Harry takes a deep breath. To be honest, he has been wanting to ask this question since they ‘made love’ for the first time. If it is love? But he is a bit scared that Louis will react the wrong way and that he might turn his back on him again. That is the last thing that he wants to happen right now. Because yes, he is in love with Louis.

“What are we?” he finally blurts out. Louis’ eyes widen a bit. “You can’t say that we’re just friends. What we’re doing isn’t what friends are supposed to. You told me you fell for me. That’s what you said the other day. I don’t know, I’m just a little unsure, I guess.”

Louis smiles at Harry’s nervousness. Of course they aren’t just friends. They are so much more than friends. He indeed told Harry he had fallen for him and he meant it. Harry had told him to exact same thing and they made love. If it isn’t clear to Harry and then he doesn’t know what else he is supposed to do.

Louis leans in to press a soft kiss on Harry’s mouth. “You should know what we are by now,” he whispers against the plum lips of the younger boy. He can feel the smile that is forming on Harry’s face. “You’re mine.”

Harry’s only response is pressing his lips hard onto Louis’. He pushes the older boy back on the bed, so he is now hovering over him while their lips move in sync. It is a sweet and passionate kiss filled with love and adoration and the best one that both of them have ever shared. There is no tongue involved, just the feeling of each other’s lips is enough.

Eventually, Harry pulls back to regain his breath. He gazes into Louis’ eyes as the feathery haired boy looks up into his green orbs with a small smile on his lips. He has to admit, he hasn’t felt this good in a long time. This boy doesn’t know what kind of affect he has got on him.

Harry ends up spending the night in Louis’ room. They keep making small talk until the early hours when they finally fall asleep, snuggled close to each other and their body heath warming each other. Louis is as far as he knows the only one who understands his love for sleeping naked. And he obviously doesn’t mind when he is sleeping naked next to him.

Harry isn’t able to fight back his smile the following day. And it doesn’t go unnoticed. “Stop smiling like a fool,” Niall says at breakfast. “You’re creeping me out.”

Harry only shrugs his shoulder, but the smile doesn’t disappear from his face. Then the more dangerous questions come. Of course it is Liam who is asking them, what did you expect? “Where were you last night?” he says. “You didn’t spend the night at Eve’s again, did you?”

His smile disappears a bit and he shrugs his shoulders another time. “What if I did? Does it bother you that much?” he asks, maybe a bit too harshly. Liam merely raises his hands in defence.

“You’re taking it big, man,” Zayn says, punching Harry softly on the shoulder. “How many times have you slept with her by now. And she isn’t even your girlfriend yet?”

“It’s none of your business,” Harry mumbles. He just wants them to stop asking questions already. He doesn’t really want to lie to his friends, but he just can’t tell them about him and Louis. They would probably be disgusted by it. You aren’t supposed to do those kind of things with another guy.

“Come on, Harry, we’re your friends,” Zayn says. Why for God’s sake does he keep pressing it? Just drop it already! He doesn’t want to get mad at them, but they really need to stop asking questions.

“I told you it’s none of your business,” he says before grabbing his tray and heading out of the canteen.


	31. Complaining Irishman

Looking on platform 13 in the railway station of London Waterloo you can’t see a face that doesn’t look tired. The pupils of the fourth, fifth and sixth grade of Westminster had to get up earlier than usual and that didn’t go really well. Not a single one of them looks at least a bit excited to go to the Belgian city. 

“How long?” Niall asks for at least the hundredth time. Harry rolls his eyes at the impatient blonde. He has asked that question at least every thirty seconds now and it start to get on his nerves. Time won’t go faster if you keep asking that stupid question. 

But Liam doesn’t seem to mind as he calmly answers for the hundredth. “Seven more minutes,” he responds. Niall lets out a big sigh every time that Liam gives him a reply and stares right in front of him before asking the question again. 

“For God’s sake, Niall!” Harry says harshly before Liam can even try and open his mouth. “Stop asking the damn question every thirty fucking seconds. It’s still seven very long minutes.” 

Niall’s face turns into a pout. “I’m just bored, is all,” he says, holding his hands up in defence. “It’s not my fault that we had to get up early and that you have a horrible morning mood. I’m glad that I don’t share a room with you every day.” 

Harry only throws him a death glare but doesn’t bother with answering. It gets on his nerves as well that they had to get up so early and that they have to wait so long for the train, but it is not his fault, either. If it were up to him, he would be still in his bed. 

“Everybody, get your stuff together,” a teacher suddenly yells over the pupils their heads a couple of minutes later. “The train arrives.” Niall lets out a weird sounding noise and immediately jumps up from the floor. Liam shakes Zayn awake and Harry grabs his own stuff. He is also glad that they can stop waiting for the damn train already. 

Niall is one of the first people who get on the train, pushing people out of his way to find seats for him and the four others. “Why is he so excited?” Zayn asks, his only half open and following the blonde. Harry and Liam only shrug their shoulders. 

The train ride lasts about two hours, but Niall is bored already after ten minutes and he starts to annoy the hell out of Harry again by complaining all the time. Zayn just sleeps through it and Harry can’t understand how Liam can stay so calmly during this all. 

Harry stumbles out of the train after two hours, glad that they finally arrived at their destination. “I’m never ever sitting on a train with you ever again,” he says, pointing a finger at Niall and making the blonde pout at him again. 

“Well, unfortunately for you, because we have to take another train,” Liam says. “We’re only in Brussels, we’re two hours away from Bruges.” Harry’s eyes widen and he groans loudly, throwing a death glare at Niall who is just grinning at him. 

“Please, keep your mouth shut,” Harry says before walking away to follow the group of pupils towards the exit of the underwater trains and towards the other platform to wait for the next and hopefully last train. 

Luckily, Niall doesn’t complain this time. In fact, after ten minutes his eyes are closed and his breath as slowed down. Harry lets out a breath of relief, content with the silence. He lets his head lean against the cool window while he looks at the passing by landscape. Belgium looks a bit the same like Britain, having the same kind of weather. Watery, cold and disgusting. No one likes it. 

After a calm train ride of another two hours they finally arrive in Bruges. The Hall of the railway station is pretty crowded and the big group of Brits make their way out of the building towards het Stationsplein where the teachers count their pupils, hoping that they didn’t lose anyone along the way. When they see that everyone is there, they start to make their way towards the Grote Markt, dragging their luggage with them. It is not that far, but it would have been easier if they didn’t have to carry suitcases. 

Harry has paired up with Niall to share a room. He hopes that he won’t regret that decision after what he has seen on the train. Liam and Zayn sleep together in a room on the other side of the corridor were only boys of the fourth grade sleep. Pretty much the same as back in school. Every grade and every gender is separated again. 

After the lunch that consisted of the best French fries they have ever eaten, they are divided into groups to go and walk around the city a bit. They do the short version of the tourist trip, not entering museums or buildings yet, but some teachers just give a short explanation about what everything stands for. 

Harry gets fairly quickly boring of the walking around and the explanation. He is not quite interested in all these old buildings. He just follows the group as he makes small talk with Niall along the way, who is happy to have a nice, meaningless little chat. Always up for it. 

Of course he is also up for diner. And he dives immediately into it the moment they arrive back at the hotel. The tables are already laid and he doesn’t even bother to take off his coat as he takes a seat at the table and immediately starts to eat. 

“You’re like a beast, Horan,” Zayn says as he watches Niall while taking a seat himself. Niall merely looks at him while he shrugs his shoulders. Liam rolls his eyes at the pair, shaking his head in disbelief. Harry takes a seat as well. 

“Walking around this damn town makes me hungry as hell,” he says with his mouth full of food. Zayn raises his eyebrows as Liam pulls a face of disgust while he tells Niall to not speak while he is eating. It isn’t very pleasant for the others. Niall just shrugs his shoulders. 

Harry is the first to leave the table with the excuse that he really has to pee. Niall is the only one who is still eating, the others just keeping him company. He flies up the stairs to the fourth floor, finding there the person who knows that would be waiting for him. “Finally,” he says as he sees Harry approaching him.

“Sorry,” Harry replies. “Niall just kept eating.” 

With a roll of his eyes, Louis pulls Harry into the corridor. “Aren’t we going to your room?” the younger boy asks as he feels a warm hand wrap around his own while his feet move unwillingly. 

Louis just shakes his head before answering. “No, I’ve got a roommate now,” he says. Harry had forgotten about that. It is easier when Louis doesn’t have a roommate so they don’t have to be scared to get interrupted. 

“So do I,” Harry says as they arrive at the door that leads to his hotel room he shares with the Irish lad. Louis waits for Harry to get his key out of his jeans pocket and put it in the lock. He then pulls him inside with him. 

“I don’t think we’ll see him anytime soon,” Louis says with a smirk, referring to Niall’s never ending appetite. Harry lets out a low chuckle before a shiver runs down his spine as Louis’ mouth moves near his ear, his breath hot in his neck, his words just a low whisper. “Lock the door.” 

Harry sucks in a breath as he does what he is been told. Then Louis’ lips press lightly against his in a sweet kiss. Harry feels his heart skip a beat and he wonders what Louis more can do with his body. He makes it react in all weird kind of ways it has never reacted in before. 

They move towards the bed as the kisses get more heated and some pieces of clothes are thrown around the room. Louis moans softly as Harry sucks on his collarbone, leaving a clear purple mark and pressing a light kiss on it afterwards. “I love your body,” he says, trailing kisses down Louis’ torso between every word. 

But Louis’ stops Harry and half sits up like he is listening intensely. Harry looks at him with his eyebrows knit together in confusion, asking him what is wrong, but Louis’ only shushes him. He then shakes his head. “I thought I heard something.” 

But Harry can hear it now as well. Well, you must be deaf if you don’t hear it now. It is a loud banging and it is on their door. Someone is banging loudly on their door, because they want to be let in. It is Niall cock block Horan. “Harry, open the door!”

Harry jumps up from the bed, cursing under his breath as he tries to think of something to hide Louis. “Quickly,” he whispers to the older boy. “Get in the bathroom.” It is not the best idea, but what else are they supposed to do? 

In the meantime the banging continues. “Harry!” Harry is afraid that the door might break. There seems to be more force in that small body of Niall than you first might think. Harry quickly picks up Louis’ clothes from the floor, pushes them in his hands and shoves him into the bathroom. 

“Stop banging on the door, Niall,” a voice on the other side of the door says to sounds way too much like Liam’s for Harry’s liking. “Just use your key.” No, no! Don’t give him ideas. Why do you always have to be the smartass? Harry thinks while he puts his clothes back on in speed tempo. 

“Oh, yeah,” Harry hears Niall mutter before he hears the click of the lock and the door opens. Harry just throws on his shirt as he comes face to face with Niall. The blonde scrunches his eyebrows at him. “What are you doing?” 

Before Harry can open his mouth to respond, Niall’s head snaps to the side as he hears a soft noise coming from the bathroom, like someone walks into something and he hears someone curse on their breath. “What was that?”

Harry can’t deny it. It was too clear to deny that someone is there. So he might as well the truth. Or at least, a part of the truth. He just hopes that Louis has put his clothes back on already. “Just Louis,” he says. “He is taking a wee.” 

As if Louis heard him, he flushes the toilet and walks out completely dressed now and with a grin on his face. Niall looks between the two of them like he missed something. “There is something going on between you two that you won’t tell me,” he says, pointing his finger at Harry and Louis. “But I’m going to figure it out.” 

He turns towards the door to leave the room, but then turns a bit further to face the two boys again, who are grinning like mad at him. “I sleep here,” he says. “And you two are freaking me out.” He cocks an eyebrow at them. 

“I guess I’ll leave then,” Louis says. He pats Niall’s shoulder as he passes him and then walks out of the door. Niall turns to Harry, but Harry doesn’t open his mouth to tell him anything. He won’t in a million years. If Niall would only know what is going on between him and Louis. 

Eventually Niall lets it slide after whining more than half an hour about it. Harry is ready to kill him if he keeps pressing it. Why is the damn kid so curious? That is definitely not good for his health. He will put his nose in business that he isn’t supposed to and it will end badly one day. 

After Niall’s exhausting complaining they decide to go to bed. They won’t have to get up as early as today, but they won’t be able to sleep in, either. They probably will do a lot of exploring and walking around so a bit of rest might be a good idea. Traveling gets you tired, even though they have just been sitting all day.


	32. Happy Birthday, Harry – Part 1

Harry screams loudly as the first thing he sees when he wakes up is the face of Mr Carter hovering over his bed. “Wake up, Styles. We’ve been knocking on your door for a half an hour,” he says, clearly annoyed with Harry. “You too, Horan. Get up!” He turns to Niall who is still sleeping. Harry chuckles as the blonde also wakes with yell of fear when he sees their teachers face. 

“Bloody hell,” Niall mutters as Carter stomps out of their room. He isn’t quite over the shock yet. You definitely don’t want to see your much hated math teacher first thing in the morning. He would much rather have Mrs Clearwater or something. She at least looks a bit pretty. 

“He woke you up like that as well?” Niall asks as he finally crawls out of bed. Harry nods his head, not bothering to open his mouth. Carter scared to shit out of him and he didn’t particularly like it. 

Niall shrugs his shoulders. “Anyway. It’s your birthday, mate,” he says, a grin breaking on his face. He literally rolls out of his bed, but he manages to land on his feet right on time so he won’t fall to the floor. “Happy birthday.” 

Harry rolls his eyes at the Irishman, but he can’t help but smile a bit as well. “Thanks, mate,” he says. He starts for the bathroom. They were supposed to wake up more than fifteen minutes ago, but they didn’t hear the knocking, so Carter decided to bark into their room. And now they have got to hurry a bit.

When Niall disappears into the bathroom after Harry has gotten out, there is a soft knock on the door. Harry mutters something under his breath, hoping that it isn’t Carter again. But he is pleasantly surprised when a gorgeous older boy grins at him when he opens the door. “I didn’t forget,” he says. 

Harry smiles as well. Louis closes and locks the door behind him. His grin grows wider when he pushes Harry backwards, his back pressed up against the wall. “Happy birthday,” he whispers in his ear, sending shivers down the younger boy’s spine. 

Completely forgotten about Niall still being in the bathroom, Harry grabs Louis’ face and presses their mouths together in a sweet kiss. Their lips move in sync and Harry feels his head slightly starting to spin. They are so caught up into each other that they don’t hear the bathroom door open until someone awkwardly coughs. 

Louis immediately pulls away, since Harry can’t take any steps back with his back being pressed up against the wall. The older boy moves as far away from Harry as he possibly can. Harry’s head has turned a bright red, his eyes constantly shifting as he doesn’t know where to look. His heartbeat increases. Niall knows… 

“Well,” Niall says, feeling just as awkward as the other two. “I’m not going to ask what’s going on, because it’s pretty obvious.” He looks at the two boys. Harry’s face is bright red and he doesn’t want to look at Niall. Louis looks at his shoes, his finger fumbling with the hem of his shirt and his ears a couple of shades darker than usually. 

“I’m surprised, is all,” Niall continues, awkwardly flapping his arms in the air. Well, to say that he surprised is an understatement. He knew that there was some kind of strange friendship going on between the two of them, but that they are a thing? That he didn’t expect. And it feels weird, too. He has always found Louis a weird a guy. Nicer than he thought, though, but still weird. 

Then he starts to giggle like a schoolgirl. He can already picture the look on Liam’s face when he knows about the two of them, whatever kind of relationship they have. He wonders what they have done in Liam’s room – where Harry sleeps as well – already. 

“What?” Harry asks, confusion clouding his fearful eyes. Niall is giggling like an idiot and he doesn’t understand why he is laughing, there isn’t really something funny. Unless he thinks that they are a joke, which still isn’t funny. 

“I’m just imagining the look on Liam’s face when he finds out –” 

“No!” Harry immediately cuts him off. “You can’t tell Liam! You can’t tell anyone, understood?” They said before that it is their secret and even though Niall has found out, he doesn’t anyone else to find out as well. It is still supposed to be a secret. 

Louis silently agrees with Harry. It is not he is scared of what people will think or anything, but he just doesn’t want to share Harry with anyone else. And it is kind of excited to sneak around and feeling like you are breaking the rules. 

Niall pulls a face. “You can’t tell me to keep secrets!” he says, pouting a bit at the two other boys. “I’m horrible at keeping them.” Harry mentally face palms himself. He doesn’t want Niall to be the one who spills their secret. If it needs to be said eventually, he wants to tell his other friends himself. 

“Promise me you won’t say anything.”

Niall lets out big sigh and pulls another face. “I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything,” he says. Harry knows that this is the best that he will get from Niall, so he just agrees. There isn’t really anything else he can do, or Niall will just spill it all. 

“Are you guys coming or what,” Liam says from the door opening, making all three of the other guys jump. “Breakfast is done in five minutes.” Niall disappears out of the door in a matter of seconds, leaving Liam behind with Harry and Louis. 

“Let’s go get breakfast,” Louis says, walking out of the door as well with Harry hot on his heels. Liam throws him a glare before following as well. He knows that Louis apologized for what he did after all those years – even though it didn’t really seem like he wanted to, more like he had to – but it didn’t make him like him. He still doesn’t understand why Harry wants to hang around him. 

After breakfast, the big group of the three grades are divided into the same small groups from the day before to go and do their activities for the day. Harry’s group starts in the morning with climbing the Belfry. He doesn’t know how many stairs he has walked on, but there too much of them for his liking. 

In the afternoon the went to the Groeningenmuseum, watching paintings who are sorted from old to newer. The paintings were okay, but he doesn’t need to see the same on for more than half an hour. Looking at it for ten seconds is already enough. 

Even though it felt like they were there for an eternity, they are able to finish off early and they have some spare time. Zayn is in his group and they hang around for a bit with just the two of them. They are allowed to go out tonight and they want to look for a nice place to celebrate Harry’s birthday. 

At around six o’clock they have to be back at the hotel for dinner. Harry can feel Niall’s eyes burning on him the whole time, seeing that the blonde bites his lip in frustration more than a few times. Is it really that hard for him to keep his mouth shut? It shouldn’t be that hard. 

“Harry, I can’t hold it anymore!” Niall says frustrated the moment they are back into their hotel room. He grabs his hair and looks at Harry with a helpless look in his eyes. Harry only rolls his eyes. 

“Come on, Niall, it can’t be that hard,” Harry says. “I need to you to keep your mouth shut. Imagine what Liam would do when he finds. Honestly, I don’t even want to live that day.” He is frustrated now as well. Niall is frustrated by the fact that he can’t say anything and has to keep his mouth shut and Harry is frustrated because Niall wants to tell someone so desperately and he doesn’t trust him. He probably won’t keep his mouth shut. 

“Liam won’t do anything,” Niall says, trying the reason with Harry. “He won’t kill you or something. It’s something that happened so many years ago.” 

“But he is obviously still bothered by the fact, he hates Louis to the bone,” Harry says. He can totally imagine the look on Liam’s face. He might not kill Harry, but he definitely would want to at that moment. 

“He’s just stubborn,” Niall says, rolling his eyes more at Liam’s behaviour towards Louis than at Harry. “And so are you! Come on, it won’t be that bad.” 

“I said no! Just keep your mouth shut, don’t think about it, forget about it. I don’t know. Just do whatever you have to do to not tell anyone. I promise you, if you tell someone I’ll make sure that you won’t be able to have kids,” Harry says in a threatening voice, pointing at the blonde in front of him. 

But he is serious, though. He will do him something if he spills their secret. And it is not only because of Liam. He is sure that Zayn or his other friends won’t react to happy about it. Niall’s reaction was actually better than he could hope for. Niall didn’t make a disgusted face at him, didn’t scold him or laughed at him. And now he asking even more from Niall, but he is sure that not every reaction will be this positive. 

“Fine, fine,” Niall says, holding his hands up in defence. He doesn’t really want to discover how far Harry would go to keep his mouth shut. “I won’t say anything.” It can’t be that hard, can it? Well, apparently it can…

Harry lets out a sigh of relief. He knows that are only words, but he will at least try to keep quiet. That that thought comforts him for a bit and he lays back on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He hears Niall moving in the room, but he doesn’t bother to look up at him. 

“What time are we leaving?” Niall asks after a long silence. Harry lifts his head to look up at him, shrugging his shoulders. No one has told him when they are able to leave or when they should be back at the hotel. 

“Liam probably knows,” Niall says, moving towards the door. “I’ll go ask him.” Harry nods his head and Niall disappears out of the room. Harry lays back again, staring up at the dirty white ceiling as a thought crosses his mind. 

He kind of wants Louis to go out with them, but he doesn’t know if his mates actually want that. Probably not, because they all think he is a freak, except for Niall. But it could make it harder for Niall to keep his mouth shut. And he probably goes out with his own friends. Maybe they will see each other there or something? 

He starts to get bored a bit when Niall doesn’t return. It shouldn’t take that long to go ask someone something. Liam’s room is only at the end of the corridor and it is a pretty simple question with a pretty simple answer. 

Harry decides to get up from his bed and have a look where Niall is. But as soon as he steps out of his hotel room, he changes his mind. Instead of going to the end of the corridor, he walks the opposite direction, taking the stairs two floors up where he knows that the sixth graders are staying. 

Luckily for him the teachers have put name tags on the doors again. He smiles when he finds Louis’ name along with Jonah and Elias’. He softly knocks on the door, which opens only seconds later and reveals a wet haired and only dressed in boxers Louis. He grins the moment he sees the other boy. 

Louis leans against the doorframe, his eyes locked onto Harry’s as he travels a hand through his wet locks. “What are you doing here?” he asks with a smug smile. Harry barely hears him as his eyes travel down Louis’ bare, tanned torso. 

He finally looks up into his eyes as Louis snaps his fingers in front of his face, turning his attention away from the older boy’s body. “Um,” Harry says, trying to find his words. “Niall disappeared and I got bored.” 

Louis’ grin grows wider. “You’re lucky,” he says. “There’s no one here.”


	33. Happy Birthday, Harry – Part 2

“Where the hell have you been?” Niall asks as Harry walks back into their room. Niall has changed already and is completely ready to leave. “You aren’t even dressed yet!” 

Harry only shrugs his shoulders as he starts to undress himself. He roams through his suitcases to find some clothes. He eventually settles on a random shirt and a dark red jumper with some jeans and his white converse. 

Niall narrows his eyes as Harry turns around to pull on his shirt. “Where are those bruises from?” he asks with his eyes on Harry’s chest. Then his eyes widen. “Are those love bites? Are those from Louis? Oh god, that are love bites from Louis.” 

Harry rolls his eyes at the shorter boy and pulls on his shirt to quickly cover the love bites. Even though Niall knows now, it still feels pretty awkward. Especially to talk about it. He doesn’t want that Niall thinks it is disgusting. “Yes,” he mumbles eventually. 

Niall drops it and Harry feels a bit relieved. To be honest, he doesn’t quite like the fact that Niall knows, even though he doesn’t turn his back on him now. It feels weird and not right at all. He knows that he shouldn’t be afraid to show who he really loves, but he is. He doesn’t want to be pushed aside or anything. 

Niall and Harry leave the hotel around ten together with Liam, Zayn, Phoebe, Sienna and April. The air outside is cold and usually this is the period that the snow starts to fall in Belgium. It hasn’t yet, though, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t freezing outside and they are all happy with the warmth of a dance café called the Pick only a hundredth metres away from their hotel. 

Inside the café, the warmth immediately hits the little group in their faces and makes their red cheeks glow with hotness. The café isn’t quite crowded since it is a Tuesday evening and most people don’t go out on a week day. 

“Look, they’ve got red beer here,” Sienna says in Harry’s ear. She points with her finger to a glass of a girl a standing at a table. The beer glass is indeed filled with a dark reddish substance with a small layer of foam. Harry has never seen it before. 

“It must taste horrible,” he replies, pulling a face. What would red beer be made of? Blood is the only thing that comes to his mind and it doesn’t make him want to taste it. It is probably not made of blood, but still. It makes him shiver. 

“I realized something,” Niall says at some point in the evening where the girls and Liam – his girlfriend made him – are dancing and Zayn is on the toilet for at least the twentieth time this evening. “Those times that you didn’t sleep in your room and you told us you were with Eve, you weren’t, huh? You were with Louis, weren’t you?” 

Harry rolls his eyes at his friend. Why does he have to keep talking about it? He knows that Niall is a curious guy – sometimes a bit too curious for his own good – and that he always wants to know everything, but it slightly starts to annoy Harry. Though, he answers truthfully. “Yeah, I was.” 

Niall smirks at him. “And did you do the same things you made us believe you did with Eve,” he asks smugly. Harry’s eyes widen at his words. First he pulled faces when he discovers love bites and now he asks if he slept with Louis. He probably had a bit too many beers. 

“I don’t really think that this any of your business –”

“So you did,” Niall replies almost immediately, not even letting Harry finish his sentence. Harry throws him a glare, but doesn’t bother with a reply as Zayn makes his way towards them, coming back from the toilets. 

“I’m glad I don’t have a girlfriend,” he says, looking in Liam’s direction who is making an attempt to shake his hips on the beat. “If they make you do horrible things like dancing they can stay away for a while.” 

“You could just go for a boyfriend, instead,” Niall says with a grin, looking at Harry from the corners of his eyes. Harry plants his heel on Niall’s toes, making the blonde yell out in pain. Zayn glances with a confused look in his eyes at the two, but he doesn’t really say anything about it. Actually, he just doesn’t want to say or think about it. 

Instead he just walks away from the two, going to the bar to order another drink. “I told you to keep your mouth shut,” Harry hisses in Niall’s ear, throwing him a death glare. “Not even stupid hints like these. Nothing relatable. It’s not funny.” 

Niall merely rolls his eyes at him, putting his glass to his lips and emptying it in a matter of seconds. Then he joins Zayn at the bar for another drink, leaving Harry alone at the table. But he isn’t alone for long as a beautiful brunette makes her way over to him. 

“Why so lonely?” she asks with a half smile, half grin. Her crystal blue eyes are twinkling brightly in the dim light and make her whole face light up beautifully. Harry hasn’t looked at her this way in a long time but she really is a gorgeous girl, there is no denying possible. 

“They all left me,” he says, a fake pout taking over his features. Eve pats him on the shoulder in a comforting motion. But a smile takes over the pout the moment a feathery haired boy joins their table. 

“I didn’t think I’d still see you tonight,” Harry says, the smile starting to get a bit too obvious. But Eve doesn’t really pay attention to it in her slightly tipsy state. Instead she looks around the café and then walks away from the two boys as she finds her friends. 

“You didn’t think I wouldn’t be there to celebrate your birthday,” Louis says, smirking at the younger boy as he sees that his leaning in closer causes Harry’s breathing to stop for a moment. “I’m always in for a party.” 

“So actually it’s not about me, but just about the party,” Harry replies as another fake pout forms on his face. Louis can’t help it, he really wants to kiss that pout away. But he knows he can’t. They are in a public place with way too many people they know around. It would only be extremely awkward. 

“You know it’s always about you.” Louis’ smirk turns into a smile and Harry can’t help it. How cheesy it may sound, Louis’ words and that beautiful smile make his heart beat faster, his breath getting caught on its way out so he is barely able to get some oxygen. Louis would probably be able to choke him with words. Literally. 

Louis’ hand slightly brushes over his tight under the table and that is the moment Harry’s heart literally stops beating. “Breathe,” Louis chuckles while Harry sucks in a deep breath. He can’t wrap his head around the fact that Louis is able to do such things with his mind and body. He thought he knew how it felt to be in love, but he clearly doesn’t. No one has ever done such things to his mind and it only gets worse. Although he doesn’t really think that it is a bad thing. 

“What would happen if we escape now?” Harry manages to breathe out after that his mind sort of starts to work properly again. Louis smiles smugly at him. He has got such an influence on this guy and he would be lying if he said that he doesn’t like it. 

“I think only good things would happen,” Louis answers. With those words Louis grabs Harry’s hand starts to lead him out of the café. On their way out Harry catches Niall’s eyes, who is throwing him a knowing look along with a smirk. 

It doesn’t take long for the two boys to reach the hotel, fly up the stairs to the floor where Harry sleeps and bark into the hotel room. They are already a tangled mess of arms and legs before the door has even closed. To this point, Harry’s mind has completely failed and his head is spinning lightly. Louis’ lips are even stronger than his words. 

He moans softly as the older boy starts to suck more bruises on his now bare collarbone. Their shirts had already been taken off on their way towards Harry’s bed. His hands graze Louis’ back, leaving red scratch marks each time Louis lets his teeth sink into Harry’s soft flesh. In some way Louis always manages to take control, but to be honest, Harry doesn’t really mind. 

The excitement starts to grow as the moans get louder and the last pieces of fabric are removed from their bodies. Louis grinds his hips hard against Harry’s, loving the sweet sounds that he can make fall from his lips. The younger boy gasps at the amazing feeling of the friction between the two. 

Moans turn into muffled screams as their bodies move in sync. Pain and pleasure flows through Harry, making him lose any control he had left. Louis’ heavy breaths in his neck aren’t really helping, either. He lost all his senses, except the feeling of Louis’ skin against his, covered in a small layer of sweat. 

Their lips find each other in a sloppy, open mouthed kiss. Harry’s eyes roll back in his head while Louis keeps moving his hips, hitting his sweet spot over and over again. His toes start to curl, digging his nails deeper in Louis’ already red flesh as he feels that he is close. Louis tries to swallow Harry’s screams as he releases soon after. 

With Harry breathing heavily on his face and a couple of more thrusts, Louis is send over the edge as well, coming with a loud moan that Harry can’t help but adore so much. Louis closes his eyes as he tries to catch his breath and falls next to Harry onto the bed. No words are exchanged as they snuggle close to each other. 

Still in the dance café, Liam joins Zayn and Niall at the bar, leaving the dancing girls behind. “Where is Harry?” he asks, looking around the café in search of the curly haired boy. But he can’t seem to find him. 

Niall looks around as well. He obviously knows where Harry went, but he isn’t sure how Liam will react if he says that he left with Louis. Maybe he should try to cover up for him, just to make up for his stupid joke with Zayn earlier. 

Zayn shrugs his shoulder, telling Liam that he doesn’t know where Harry went. Maybe the toilet, he says. Niall knows that Harry isn’t there. Then his eyes fall on the little group that are Louis’ friends. The beautiful brunette isn’t there anymore. “He left with Eve,” Niall says, making Liam look at him. 

“Eve?” Liam raises his eyebrows at the blonde. This is the third time now and Harry can’t deny that there isn’t anything going on between him and Eve anymore. Even if it isn’t ‘their business’, like he said before. He can definitely tell them by now. 

Niall only nods his head in responds. He is afraid that if he opens his mouth he might tell where Harry really went. He knows that Harry doesn’t like that Liam knows because of Liam’s hatred towards Louis. That is why Harry told those lies before. 

“Maybe we should head back, too,” Liam says after a while. The other two nod their head in agreement. It’s around two in the morning and they have to get up early the next morning for a new day of exploring and visiting things. They go retrieve the girls to head out, back to the hotel. 

Niall wraps his arms around the waist of Sienna as a smile grows on her face and she turns around in his arms to peck him on the lips. He feels his stomach go wild at the soft contact. He is so head over heels for this girl and he barely realizes it. 

When he reaches his hotel room, he bids his goodbyes the rest of his friends and starts to search his pockets for the key. He softly opens the door and tries to make no sound. He isn’t sure if Harry is asleep or not or if he even is in the room. 

He grabs his phone for light and shines on Harry’s bed. A soft sound escapes his mouth as he sees that not only Harry, but also Louis is occupying the bed, cuddling close to each other. And as far as he can see, they are both naked. He turns away from them. He really doesn’t want to know what they have done before he entered the room.


	34. The Old Returns

Loud music coming from Niall’s phone invades Harry’s eardrums, causing him to wake up. His body feels warmer than usual as the heath of another person lying close to him warms him as well. He opens his eyes to see Louis lying next to him with his face pressed into the pillow. 

“Wait three seconds,” Niall’s voice sounds from the other side of the room, making Louis snap his head up. “I’ll get into the bathroom first.” They hear some shuffling around the room and then the bathroom door slams shut behind Niall. 

Louis rubs the sleep from his eyes. “Shit,” he mumbles, his voice still thick with sleep. Harry thinks it is kind of sexy. “I completely forgot about Niall.” Harry chuckles lightly, letting his body collapse with the mattress once again. He looks up at Louis with a smile small on his face. 

Louis can’t help it. He has to peck those beautiful plump lips. He feels so corny doing so, but he enjoys it nonetheless and it makes Harry’s smile grow. Harry pulls him in for another kiss and he feels his stomach going wild, doing some backflips. His hands travel down Louis’ bare stomach, making goose bumps appear on his skin. 

They pull away after a few moments to both regain their breath. “I better get going,” Louis says after a short silence. He would much rather stay here in bed all day with Harry next to him than wander around in this old city, but it is not like he has much of a choice. 

He crawls over Harry, who is lying on the outside of the bed, and lands with his feet on the ground. He starts to go around the room to gather his clothes and Harry watches him as his puts them on. He rather takes them off again. 

With a slight wave, Louis disappears from the room. Only moments later Niall exits the bathroom and Harry gets up from his bed to go to the bathroom, pain immediately shooting through the small of his back. He lets out a groan as he pulls a face. 

Niall notices and looks at him. “What’s wrong?” he asks oblivious to the fact that he doesn’t really want to know the answer. Harry shakes his head, telling him it is alright. 

“I just slept in a weird position,” he says as he makes his way towards the bathroom with a weird little walk. Niall’s eye widen as realization dawns on him. His cheeks flush red, even though he isn’t the one who is in pain. 

The rest of the day, Harry keeps on walking a little weird and Niall starts to think it is pretty funny. Liam and Zayn look with confused eyes at them, not knowing what is going on or what is so funny. It only makes Niall laugh harder and Harry throws a million death glares his direction. 

The teachers announce at breakfast that they are going to hold a Soirée Casino that evening and that everyone has to be dressed quite nice and all the boys have to ask a girl from another grade to be their date. It has to be from another grade, so they can mingle and won’t chose to be with one of their friends. That would be too easy, according to the teachers. 

Harry groans inwardly. He really isn’t up for a Soirée Casino or ask a girl to be his date. He is in pain and all he wants to do is lie in his bed and wait for the pain to go away. Preferably with Louis next to him to whisper sweet words into his ear.

“Who are you going to ask?” Liam’s question isn’t immediately directed towards someone as he looks around the table, breaking Harry from his day dream. The other boys shrug their shoulders as he just keeps staring at his cereal in front of him. 

“Harry is probably going to ask Eve, isn’t he?” Zayn asks with a smug grin on his face. The moment the words leave his mouth, Niall starts to choke on his food, trying to hold be his laughter. Harry kicks him under the table and throws him a glare as the blonde tries to catch his breath again. 

“What is going on between you two?” Liam asks. He has noticed that something weird is going on between them. Niall seems to be laughing with something all the time and it clearly annoys Harry. It is like he is hiding something and Niall is dying to spill it. 

“Nothing,” Harry says, shooting Niall another glare. Liam raises his eyebrows as he follows his gaze. It is obvious to him that it isn’t nothing. Why are they keeping secrets from him? From them? And why is Niall allowed to know when Zayn and him aren’t? 

“Seriously, Niall,” Harry says clearly annoyed as they walk – Harry still with his weird little walk, as his lower section still hurts – back to their room to get ready for the day. “You need to stop it, Liam is getting suspicious.”

Niall only rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh. “I honestly don’t see the problem if you’d tell Liam.” 

Harry groans. “I’m not having this conversation again with you,” he says. “I gave you my reasons and I told you to keep your mouth shut.” 

“But Harry,” Niall whines, but Harry isn’t getting any of it. He slowly starting to wish that Niall never caught them. He though it might have been easier that someone knows, but Niall definitely isn’t the right person to know. Harry will make sure that he never ever tell Niall secrets ever again. 

The rest of day is dragging by painfully slow. They are divided into new groups and now Liam is in his group. Liam keeps throwing him suspicious glances as Harry walks like something is shoved up his arse. It isn’t too pleasant. 

That evening he finds himself crawling up the stairs to drag his body towards his bedroom. He really doesn’t feel like having that stupid Soirée Casino thing. But he finds the scene that he sees on top of the stairs rather amusing and his mood lightens a bit. 

He quietly laughs as he sees the older boy sitting on the soft carpet, his back pressed against the wall, his knees pulled up and a book clutching in his hand. It has been a while since Harry has last seen him reading a book, but he definitely hasn’t changed. 

Louis doesn’t look up as Harry laughs, being so consumed by the story line that he doesn’t even hear the younger boy walking towards him. He only jumps five feet in the air as Harry takes a seat next to him. 

“Why are you sitting on the corridor?” Harry asks with an amused look on his face. Louis only shrugs his shoulders. To be honest, he doesn’t really have an explanation as to why he is sitting here. He started reading while he was walking up to his hotel room, but obviously didn’t reach it. 

Harry pulls a painful face and shifts a bit to sit more comfortable. Louis notices the look of pain on his face and scrunches his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” he asks. 

Harry shoots him a glare. “Do you really have to ask that?” Louis laughs lightly as he realizes why Harry is in pain. 

“I’m sorry,” he says with a chuckle. Harry lightly punches his arm. 

“Say it like you mean it,” he replies with a pout. 

Louis clears his face of all emotions and then puts on a sad expression. “I’m so very sorry,” he says before breaking in a laugh again. Harry can’t help it, but laugh as well as he buries his face into Louis’ neck. His laugh is kind of contagious. 

“Who did you ask to be your date tonight?” Louis asks after they both caught their breath again. Harry’s smile immediately falters at the thought of the Soirée Casino. He really doesn’t want to go. He just want to be curled up on his bed, wrapped up in Louis’ arms. 

“Eve,” he replies after a short silence. “She seemed to be the most obvious and most likely to say yes.” He shifts his gaze from his hands in his lap to look at Louis’ face. The older boy softly smiles at him. 

“And did she?” 

“Of course she did,” Harry replies with a grin. “Who wants to deny this.” He gestures at his face with a cheeky smile that is showing his dimples while tossing his hair aside. 

“Oh, definitely not me.” 

Harry grins another time at him. “Who did you ask?” he questions after another short silence. Louis scrunches his eyebrows like he is trying to remember who he asked. 

“Your friend, April,” he says after a while, looking at Harry’s face. “She was practically throwing herself at me and I thought I’d do her a favour.” 

“Yeah, because you’re such a nice guy who does everyone favours,” Harry says sarcastically, lifting an eyebrow at him while he smacks Louis’ shoulder with his hand. 

To be honest, he is just slightly jealous. His appreciation for April has lowered since she has admitted that she thinks Louis is hot. She probably thinks now that she has chance with him, which she has not. Or at least, that is what Harry hopes. And on top of that he just doesn’t like any girl who Louis calls ‘his date’. 

Louis merely rolls his eyes at Harry’s sarcastic remark. “When does this thing start?” he asks with a glint in his eyes that Harry immediately recognizes. He has seen it quite a few times before and it is a glint he can’t say no to. 

“I don’t know,” Harry replies. “But I think we have enough time to do whatever the hell we want.” Louis grins at him as they both get from the floor and make their way towards Harry’s room. He knows it will be empty because Niall is at Sienna’s, his now girlfriend. 

Their lips find each other as soon as the door closes behind them. Harry’s hands immediately grab the hem of Louis’ shirt, half lifting it up, half tugging on it. “I really need to shower,” Harry says against Louis’ lips while trying to catch his breath. 

“Then let’s take a shower,” Louis breathes out, still not breaking the contact of their lips. Harry grins and tugs on the shirt to pull him towards to bathroom, taking it off the as soon as their bare feet hit the cold tiled floor. 

After a while of just plain making out, Harry pulls back to catch his breath. He looks at Louis, whose chest is going up and down just as heavily as Harry’s. A smirk starts to appear on Louis’ face as if he is up to something, as he steps back a bit, reaching behind him to turn on the shower. 

Then he grabs Harry’s wrist, taking him by surprise as he pulls him under the shower with still all his clothes on. His eyes widen, getting water into them and he spits out the liquid he managed to get into his mouth. Louis laughs loudly. 

“What is that good for?” Harry asks, as the water is out of his eyes and mouth. He looks at Louis who wears a large grin on his face. 

“Never wanted to shower with clothes on?” the older boy replies. 

“I rather see you without clothes,” Harry retorts with a smug smile. Louis doesn’t need more than those words as he grips Harry’s shirt, starting to pull it over his head. In the meantime, Harry starts to unbutton Louis’ trousers, pulling them down along with his boxers. 

Harry presses their mouths together again, his hands pressing the other boy’s body against his own as Louis kicks off his pants that hangs around his ankles. His hands ruffle through Harry’s wet locks, earning a small moan from the younger boy. 

It is fair to say that they are going to have a good time before that stupid Soirée Casino things starts.


	35. Like The French

“Who are you going with again?” Harry asks Niall as he puts his white button up in his dark jeans. He doesn’t even remember if Niall already told him or not. He can’t really imagine Niall asking a fifth or sixth grader to be his date. 

“I don’t even remember her name anymore,” the blonde replies. “I just asked the first girl I came across that I knew isn’t a fourth grader.” Harry chuckles lightly. That sounds so typical Niall. He can already imagine him standing in the Hall waiting for a random girl to walk by so he can just ask her. 

“And how many times did you have to try?” 

Niall just shrugs his shoulder like it is pretty obvious. “Only once.” Harry snorts. He can also imagine that girls would say yes to him, because they feel sorry that he has to ask such a random girl. With his blond locks, bright blue eyes and cute smile it is probably hard for girls to say no to.

“You ready?” Niall asks as he is done with rolling up his sleeves. No, he is not ready. At all. He is still sore and he still just wants to lay in bed instead of going to that stupid thing that is most likely going to be extremely boring. But ‘yes’ is the only thing that comes out of his mouth. 

When he walks down the stairs with Niall by his side, he finds the beautiful girl that is waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. She even looks more beautiful than she usually does. She wears a simple, black dress that hugs he body perfectly and ends in three quarters of her thighs. She wears only a very small amount of makeup, by it accentuates her eyes perfectly and leaving her lips bright red. Her light brown bangs are pushed back from her forehead, but her long waves still fall over her shoulders. 

Eve smiles brightly at Harry the moment she sees him. He can’t help but smile back at her. “You look beautiful,” he whispers in her ear as he presses a light kiss on her cheek. Harry can see her cheeks heating up as she mutters a quite thanks. 

“You look quite handsome yourself,” she replies with a smile. Harry thanks her as they make their way over to the area where the Casino is held. 

Louis watches them form a distance. Harry and Eve seem to have fun, despite the fact that Harry didn’t really seemed up for this Casino thing, calling it stupid multiple times. It is probably the company. Louis isn’t really having the time of his life. This April girl is worse than he thought. She keeps on rambling about things that doesn’t interest him in the slightest bit. 

“Did you know that Kylie and Sean are hooking up?” April asks, nudging Louis’ arm so he breaks his stare away from Harry. Harry had finally caught his gaze and was smirking at him, making this a little more bearable. “They’re not even in a relationship. They’re what you call ‘friends with benefits’.”

Louis hums in disinterest, his eyes trying to find Harry’s again. April suddenly smacks his arm and he jumps in his seat. “What are you looking at the whole time?” she asks, obviously annoyed with the fact that Louis isn’t really interested in what she is saying. 

“Nothing,” Louis mutters a bit distracted. April rolls her eyes at him and grabs his arm, dragging him to a table where a teacher is leading Black Jack. April tries, but she absolutely sucks at it and it makes Louis only more annoyed with her. He feels like it is the at least the hundredth time he has rolled with his eyes this evening. 

“What are you doing?” Eve asks as she sits next to Harry, who is staring at Louis from a distance. He snaps his head away from the older boy to look into the crystal pools. “You’ve been distracted the whole evening.”

The mistake he makes is flickering his at Louis for a brief moment. Eve sees it. She has suspected things for a while now, but she never confronted either one of the boys with it. She smiles softly at the younger boy and Harry’s stomach flips. “There is more than friendship going on between you and Louis, isn’t there?” she asks. 

She watches as the expression on Harry’s face changes. His eyes widen as he tries to look away from her and his ears and cheeks turn a bright red colour, heating up instantly he can feel the sweat starting to form in the palm of his hands and he tries to wipe them on his trousers. He doesn’t really know what to say. 

“You don’t have to be ashamed,” Eve says. Trying to find Harry’s eyes while he is still doing his hardest best to avoid her gaze. Her hands brush against his thigh in a comforting motion, but it only makes him more nervous. That weren’t her intentions at all. She doesn’t want to make nervous or uncomfortable. 

“I’m just scared,” Harry whispers after a short silence. He is finally able to look up at her. she doesn’t seem to have the intentions to make fun of him or push him away. No, instead she tried to comfort him. She said that he doesn’t need to be ashamed. 

Well, to be honest, he isn’t quite ashamed. He doesn’t feel shame for being different than the normal image of society. He is more scared. Scared that people will judge him, scared that people will push him away. That he will end up with no one by his side just because he likes a guy instead of a female. 

“Scared of what?” Eve asks, squeezing his thigh before taking her hand away. “Of hate? You’ll always receive hate, Harry. No matter what you do or who you love. there will always be people who are against you, whether you like it or not. But there are also people who love you, no matter what you do.” 

Harry proceeds to give her a small smile after her short pep talk. He knows she is right. She always seems to know what to say in every kind of situation. She never judges, she is sweet and caring, she voices her opinion with respect and she stands up for herself. For a lot of people the perfect kind of girl. 

“Come on,” she says, an encouraging smile appearing on her beautiful face. “We are here in this casino like thing, let’s have some fun.” And she is glad when she earns a cheerful laugh from the younger lad. 

Louis watches the two with jealous eyes as they laugh at something funny that must have happened. He wishes he had asked a girl that is a bit more fun to be his date. He already regrets his decision, just to be nice to the girl. 

“This is starting to get boring,” April says as she lets out sigh and waves with her hand in front of her face. Louis raises an eyebrow at her. Only now it is starting to get boring? He thought it was boring the moment they set a foot in this room. 

“What do you have in mind?” he asks, seeing how far she would go to have some fun. Maybe she has got this hidden wild side underneath all her boring talking and gossiping. But he doesn’t get a reply, she only smirks at him and grabs his hand to drag him out of the room and into the open air. 

He doesn’t get time to do or say anything before she pushes him against the wall of the hotel and crashes their mouths together. First, Louis is in shock. He is frozen against the wall as her lips fiercely move against his, trying to push her tongue in his mouth. 

Then he realizes that what is happening is wrong. Her lips don’t feel right. They are too small, too soft and too coated with lipstick. He rather have those plump pink lips without lipstick. Their mouths don’t fit together like his and Harry’s do. 

He tightly grabs April’s shoulders bare shoulders, probably leaving red marks from his nails and he pushes her forcefully away from him. She stumbles back, taken by surprise, and she almost falls on her bum. Her eyes are wide and full of shock as she looks at Louis, her cheeks instantly heating up. “What in God’s name do you think you’re doing?” Louis almost spits out the words. 

“I- I thought… I thought that’s…” She stumbles over her words as her fingers find the hem of her dress and fiddle with it. Her eyes are everywhere but on Louis’ face. He can so clearly see that she is embarrassed, but he doesn’t feel any guilt or the need to make her feel a little bit more comfortable. 

“Whatever you thought, you thought wrong,” Louis says, before pushing his weight off of the wall and starts to walk away from the girl who is now hanging her head and has to do her very best to not burst out into sobs. He doesn’t give her a second glance as he renters the hotel. 

“Louis!” The voice is not louder than a hiss, but he has heard her clearly. He turns around to look at the beautiful girl and smiles at her. But his smile quickly falters as she walks over to him and starts to rub her hands all over his face. 

“Eve, what are you doing, for Christ’s sake?” Louis asks confused as he tries to swat away her hands only earning a smack on his own hands. 

“There is lipstick all over your face, you twat,” Eve replies, her voice still not more than a hiss. “What have you done? Jesus Louis, what is Harry supposed to think?”

Louis freezes the moment the words roll of her lips. What does she mean with what is Harry supposed to think? Does she know? About him and Harry. What they have been doing or what they are? Did Harry really felt the need to tell her or did she just imply it? Maybe she is just talking about something entirely different. 

“What did Harry tell you?” Louis manages to get out after a silence. His throat has gotten dry and he tries to swallow the lump that has formed. He doesn’t want to give away too much in case she isn’t talking about his and Harry’s relationship. 

“Don’t play dumb on me, Louis,” Eve says, rubbing away the last bit of lipstick off of Louis’ face. Louis has long forgotten about the lipstick. “I kind of guessed. It wasn’t really hard to know from the way he was looking at you tonight. Then he just told me.” 

“God,” Louis says, rubbing his hands over his tired eyes. Harry could have told him that he wanted to tell Eve. But that doesn’t really make sense, because Harry didn’t want to tell anyone at all. He is scared and he wants to keep their relationship to themselves for a while, so he doesn’t understand why he told Eve. 

“Lou,” Eve says, making him look up at her. Making her gaze into her clear blue orbs. “I said that he didn’t tell me. I guessed. He didn’t want me to know.” Louis looks at her with his mouth slightly agape. She just read his mind. She just answered the question he had formed in his head. 

“How did you –”

She smiles at him. “It’s not the first time I see you, Louis,” she says. “I can read you like an open book. And Harry isn’t very hard to read, either.” Louis is actually pretty hard to read, but she has learned how to in those years she has known him and at his weak moments, he is easier to read than normally. And she is just that kind of person that can easily read people their minds. 

Louis wants to open his mouth to reply, but a certain curly haired, green eyed boy distracts him from his words. Harry walks over to them, coming to a halt next to Eve and offers Louis a small smile. He is obviously not aware of how good he looks in those dark jeans and white shirt. 

“I guess I’ll leave you two,” Eve says with a smile as she looks between the two boys who are only looking at each other. She wishes them a good night and then turns on her heels to run up the stairs and towards her room. 

“She knows.” 

“I know.”


	36. Not Like That

As soon as Eve arrives on the fourth floor she takes in the scene in front of her. a girl with brown hair is sobbing in the arms of her blond friend. Then there is a guy who definitely feels as awkward as she does. She recognizes them. 

The blond boy that seems so out of place is one of Harry’s friends. Eve doesn’t know his name, but she knows that he is Irish. She also knows that he sometimes get teased by Kenneth and his crew for being a bit smaller than the average boy or gets a called a leprechaun. She finds Kenneth and his crew kind of pathetic. 

The sobbing brunette is the girl Louis had asked to be his date tonight. She knows that he isn’t too fond of her and Eve wonders if Louis the cause of her tears. She can definitely imagine him doing something harsh to make her cry. She probably likes him a bit too much and ends up getting hurt. Louis can be rude without meaning it or intending it. 

The blond girl is probably the girlfriend of the Irish one. At least that is what she assumes since she has seen them kissing. But you never know. Eve has her also seen around the sobbing girl a lot, so they are probably friends. 

Eve decides to be a nice person and asks what is wrong. The brunette starts to cry harder and the Irish one rolls his eyes at her. it is the girlfriend who replies. “Her evening didn’t really go as planned,” she says, trying to shush the brunette. “She kind of got rejected.” 

Eve didn’t know it was possible, but the girl starts to cry even harder at her friends words. Eve lays a hand on her shoulder in a comforting motion, feeling the shoulders of the girl shaking. “Is it about Louis?” she asks gently, hoping that the girl won’t cry harder than she already does. 

The girl’s sobs start to fade a bit as soon as the name falls from Eve’s lips. Eve can’t help but wonder if she was just playing up an act or if the tears were real. With her cheeks a bit red of embarrassment, the girl slowly nods her head. Eve could have guessed it, the twat. 

“He probably didn’t mean to be so rude,” Eve says, trying to save Louis’ arse and comfort the girl a bit. Although she kind of starts to understand why Louis was mean to her. Eve doesn’t like her as well. “He can be harsh without meaning it. Don’t take too personally.” He just doesn’t like you, because you are annoying, she adds in her head, but she doesn’t say it out loud. 

“He isn’t harsh to you, though.” The girl has now completely stopped crying and Eve is almost sure that she was just playing it. she has thrown off the comforting arms of her friend of her body and doesn’t even glance at her anymore. Instead she raises an eyebrow at Eve, waiting for the older girl’s answer. 

Eve mimics her actions and raises an eyebrow as well. How would she know? She probably is the kind of girl who loves to hear all the gossips and then spreads them around. “But he is,” she just say, carelessly shrugging her shoulders. “I’ve just learned to not take it personally. That’s just who he is.” 

That is not really true. Originally, Louis isn’t a mean person. But he can do harsh things or say mean words. That is just his way of blocking annoying people out. Or that is how he pushes people away when he is scared to get close to him because he might think he will be too comfortable with them. But she doesn’t say that to the girl. 

“Everyone thinks you two are together.” Well, Eve has missed that chance to be with Louis and she is completely over that now. “But I know better,” the brunette continues, her tone starting to be defiant. She doesn’t know about Louis and Harry, does she? Eve thinks. “You’re hooking up with Harry.” Eve’s eyes widen. That is the first time she has heard something about that and it is not true at all. 

The Irish one suddenly smacks his hand over his mouth, making all heads turn his way. Eve shoots him a glare. He knows something that she doesn’t know and she would really like to. Especially if it involves her. because she doesn’t sleep with Harry at all. Why would people even think that? They only talked and kissed once, but no one from school saw that. 

“I don’t hook up with Harry,” Eve say, her tone starting to be really defensive. She is getting annoyed with the brunette. Louis was right with be mean to her. She deserves it. “He is only a friend and that’s all he’ll ever be, understood?” 

She turns around to walk away from the little group when she remembers something and turns back to face the Irish boy. “I need to talk to you,” she says, pointing her finger at him. The boy looks at his girlfriend for a second, who just shrugs her shoulders, before following Eve. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks the moment they are out of earshot from the other two girls. He looks at Eve with a confused look in his eyes. He really doesn’t know what she would want to talk about with him. 

“You know something about me and Harry ‘hooking up’,” she says pointedly. “Something I don’t know.” She can see the expression changing on Niall’s face as he swallows. He is not quite sure if he should say it, but it is about her after all. She kind of deserves to know. But then he has to tell her about Louis and Harry’s relationship and he isn’t allowed to do that. She is putting him in a really hard position. 

“I don’t think I can say that,” Niall eventually says. He is really dying to tell her everything. It would be such a relief to tell someone. She seems like the perfect person, someone who wouldn’t tell further. But he doesn’t to betray Harry, either. 

Eve raises an eyebrow at him. Why wouldn’t he be able to say that? If they are talking about her, things that aren’t true, then she thinks she deserves to know what they are talking about and why they are talking about. Why could he possibly be hiding that she isn’t allowed to know? 

“Please?” she says, giving him her best puppy dog face. “Whatever you’re going to say, I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Niall sighs. He really wants to give in. With that look on her face it is nearly impossible to not give in. 

“Okay,” he says after a while. “During some nights, Harry wasn’t in his room. When we asked about it, he told us he was with you. He didn’t say that you slept with him, but he was pretty much insinuating it. Now I know he didn’t. I was just a cover.” Well, there it is. He didn’t say anything about Harry and Louis, but she is probably going to ask questions about the cover.

“Cover for what?” she asks, her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Niall doesn’t reply, but then it dawns on her and she lets out a gasp. “I was a cover for Harry and Louis?” Niall’s eyes widen. She knows!

He stares at her for a while in surprise and then finally opens his mouth. “How do you know?” he asks. 

“Harry told me,” she says. “Well, I dragged it out of him. But you know, too?” Their expressions match pretty well, both their eyes wide in surprise, their mouths slightly hanging open in astonishment. “How?”

Niall’s cheeks turn a bit red at the memory. He wouldn’t have minded if he discovered it in a different way, actually. “I walked in on them kissing,” he says, his eyes averting from hers. He doesn’t know why, but he feels a bit embarrassed about it. “They forgot I was in the room next door.” 

Eve giggles at his embarrassment. “I’m glad I found in a different way,” she says. Niall nods in agreement. He would be glad, too. But he actually likes it that Eve knows, too. Now he has got somebody to talk about it. He doesn’t find it easy to keep his mouth shut. But know it sort of feels like there is a weight lifting off of his shoulders. 

“Does anyone else know?” Niall asks. Maybe there are more people. He doesn’t really think so, but it is possible. But Harry seemed to be really determined that no one would know any time soon. 

Eve shakes her head. “Not that I know off,” she replies. She shrugs her shoulders. “We shouldn’t pressure them in doing so, they have to tell when they’re ready.” Niall nods his head. He knows that, but it doesn’t make it any less hard to keep his mouth shut. 

Much to Niall’s happiness, Harry is alone in the hotel room when he returns. His eyes are closed, but Niall isn’t entirely sure if he is asleep. But even if he is, it definitely wasn’t his intention, because he is still wearing the same clothes as during the Soirée Casino thingy. 

Niall jumps five feet in the air when he walks into the bathroom in the process of taking his clothes off and sees Louis standing in his boxers with a towel half wrapped around his hair. He feels like he just had a heart attack. 

“I – I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d be here,” Niall stammers when Louis notices him as well. Louis only throws a cheeky smile his way before brushing past the blonde in back into the room. Niall looks astonished to the spot where Louis was just moments ago. 

Niall quickly jumps into the shower to clear all the thoughts out of his mind. Louis apparently harshly rejected April for obvious reasons. He didn’t know either that rumours of Eve and Harry sleeping together were going around. But Eve knows about Harry and Louis. And they are probably making out in the room next door. 

He shudders at the last thought. Things are starting to get really weird, he finds. These things never happened before. Is it because of Harry? Since he arrived at Westminster? Because all those weird things revolve round him. 

It is not like these weird things seem like bad things, but they don’t really seem look good things, either. He is just utterly and completely confused at the moment. He shakes his head, making water droplets flying everywhere and turns off the shower. 

Walking back into the room, he finds Louis and Harry sitting on the younger boy’s bed. They are luckily not doing anything nasty, they are just talking and laughing at each other. It is so cute that it makes Niall want to puke. Why is Sienna not here? 

Niall lets his tired body collapse on his bed, face first. He hears the talking of Louis and Harry quiet down to a whisper until it is completely quiet. “Niall, do you mind it?” Harry asks. “That Louis is here?” Much to Niall’s surprise, Harry’s voice isn’t annoyed. It is more concerned like. Although he doesn’t know why.

He looks up to be met with the curious and concerned eyes of the two other lads. “No,” he finally says after looking at them with a confused look for a few moments. “Just don’t do nasty things while I’m in the room.” 

Louis chuckles and the concern whips off of Harry’s face. Niall gives them a grin before he lets his face fall down on the pillow again. After a short silence Louis speaks up. “We should do something,” he says. “Getting out of this boring hotel.” 

Niall lifts his head off of the pillow so fast that it hurts his neck, but he doesn’t care. He looks at Louis with a wide grin on his face. “I’m listening.” 

Louis grins as well and so does Harry.


	37. Not Your Best

“Do you dare?” Niall asks, looking down at the water. Him, Louis and Harry are standing on the low brick wall that should keep people away from the water. The winter just starts to turn into the spring, it is still pretty cold outside and Louis proposed to go take a swim in the little channels that are called the Brugse Reien. 

“Of course,” Louis replies with a smug grin on his face. Harry raises his eyebrows. He is not really fond of cold water. Especially not to swim in. It is freezing outside and they didn’t bring any towels or clean clothes with them. They are definitely going to be ill to following day if they go through with this. 

“Are you going to do it, though?” Harry asks, looking sideways at the older boys’ face. It scrunches up a bit, considering whether he would really do it or not. It is pretty cold, after all. But it is the last day, tomorrow they are heading back to London and if they are ill, then they don’t have to attend class. 

“I think if we’re going to do it,” Louis says, really considering it. “that we should take as much clothes off as possible.” 

“Are you out of your mind?” Niall says, sending Louis a glare. “We’ll get even more cold then.” How can Louis say that they have to take off all their clothes, it is almost freezing outside. He is surprised that the water hasn’t turned into ice yet. 

Louis shakes his head. “No,” he replies calmly, turning his head to look at Niall. “Then we’ll have something dry to put on afterwards.” He looks at Niall like he is dumb to not be able to think of that. Niall merely rolls his eyes at the older boy. 

“I think we’ll just have to go for it,” Harry says after a while, surprising both Louis and Niall with his words. Niall raises an eyebrow at him and Louis grins like a proud parent whose child has said their first word. 

“That’s the spirit!” Louis says, immediately starting to take his jacket off. Harry grins at Niall and then follows Louis’ example. Soon they are dressed down, leaving only their boxers on, their clothes on the small brick wall they are standing on. Niall is still fully dressed and a bit hesitant. 

“Are you coming, Niall?” Harry asks as both him and Louis are ready to jump into the water. After doubting for a second, the Irish lad slightly shakes his head. Maybe later, he thinks by himself. 

“You don’t know what you’re going to miss, Nialler,” Louis says, grinning at the younger boy. Niall raises his eyebrows at him. Maybe he doesn’t really want to know what he is going to miss. It is cold water, that is all. 

Louis shrugs his shoulders. He looks at Harry, exchanging glances with him in a silent conversation with their eyes. Niall doesn’t understand a single thing, but the next moment Louis jumps into the water.

Niall widens his eyes. To be honest, he didn’t think that Louis would actually do it. He thought that he would chicken out at the last moment or that Harry would convince him otherwise. But he actually did it. He actually jumped into the freezing cold water. 

A few seconds later, Louis’ head breaks through the surface again. “Oh my god!” he shrieks. “The water is freaking cold!” He forcefully moves his arms and legs so he will stay at surface and maybe he will get a little warmer. “Come on, Harry!”

Niall can see Harry’s face changing. He obviously doesn’t really feel like getting in the water anymore. Especially not after Louis has squealed like a baby that the water is so freaking cool. Maybe it wasn’t his best idea after all. 

Louis sees Harry’ face. His grin only grows. “You’re chickening out, too?” he asks, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He knows that Harry doesn’t want to be the coward and eventually will give in. Especially if it is Louis asking for it. 

Harry takes a deep breath to prepare himself and closes his eyes as he takes a step forward to jump into the little channel. He yells even louder than Louis when he surfaces again and Niall can’t help but laugh at him. It is easy for him, standing on the dry. 

“You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” Louis asks Harry once his yells have faded away. Harry looks at him, his teeth chattering and he obviously wants to get out of the water as quickly as possible. 

He shoots Louis a glare. “No, I don’t know,” he says a bit harshly. “You’ve got more of these great ideas?” 

Louis’ grin fades from his face at Harry’s sarcastic tone. “Fine,” he says, his voice a lot more cold now. “Then I won’t tell you.” 

Harry rolls his eyes at the older boy. “Come on, Lou,” he says. “It’s way too cold, let’s get out of here.” But Louis stops him by grabbing his hand as Harry wants to swim back to the low brick wall. He turns around to look at Louis, having another silent conversation with him. 

Louis’ head disappears under the surface again, pulling Harry with him. Niall narrows his eyes to have a better look. He doesn’t understand what they are doing. And then he sees it. They are kissing under water. 

As soon as they disappear underwater, Harry releases Louis’ hand and instantly grabs a hold onto his waist, pulling him closer. Louis’ body feels cold against his, having lost all his body heat in the cold water. A second later Louis presses their mouths together, not even waiting for Harry’s permission to shove his tongue inside. 

The kiss doesn’t last too long, though because they both run out of breath pretty quickly. The moment they pull away they start to kick their feet to get to the surface as fast as possible and gasp in a big gulp of air to fill their lungs again. 

“Ready now?” Niall asks from the side. Harry immediately nods his head, swimming the side and climbing out of the little channel. Louis follows soon after both with chattering teeth and trembling spines. They quickly pull on their clothes and start to head back to the hotel. 

“I need a really, really hot shower,” Harry mumbles through his chattering teeth as soon as they arrive back at their hotel room. He looks at Louis and they both disappear into the bathroom to take a long and very warm shower. 

Niall lets his tired body collapse on his bed for the second time that night. It has been a longer night than he expected and he really could use some sleep right now. And he is out like a light before Louis and Harry even return from their shower. 

Niall wakes up the because of his nose being stuffy. He lets out a loud sneeze and groans, letting his head sink back into the soft pillow. Yup, he caught a cold from going out last night. And he didn't even swim, so he can only imagine how bad Harry and Louis will be.

He looks over to Harry's bed on the other side of the room. He can only see a big lump under the covers that is too big to be from one person. So he assumes that Louis is lying next to him, cuddling close to each other. Niall wants to pull a face at the thought, but instead he sneezes another time. He is in the desperate need of a tissue.

The sneeze causes Harry to wake up. Usually he wouldn't wake up from a soft sound like that, but he wasn't sleeping very deeply anyway. He has been shivering all night. The hot shower from last night and Louis' body heat, the older boy lying next to him, did help but not enough to make it stop.

He grabs the covers more tightly in his hand and pulls almost completely over his head. He snuggles closer to the other body in his bed and tries to close his eyes again to get some more sleep, because he feels so extremely tired. But the shivers keep distracting him and eventually wake Louis. 

Louis feels the trembling body of Harry against his and wraps his arm tightly around the younger boy to get him as close as possible. He doesn’t feel too good himself, having a stuffy nose and a sore throat, but Harry is obviously feeling worse. 

“Are you alright?” Louis asks softly into Harry’s ear. Harry puts his head in the crook of Louis’ neck, shaking it. No, he isn’t alright at all. He is so extremely cold, his throat is sore, his nose is runny and he wants to get back to sleep as quickly as possible and not having to wake up in the next few hours. 

“I- I’m really cold,” he eventually manages to get out. Well, Louis kind of knew already that, but it doesn’t make him less worried about the younger boy. It is his fault after all. He talked Harry into swimming in freezing cold water. A wave of guilt washes over him as presses a light kiss on Harry’s wild hair. 

As Harry starts to cough, Louis rubs his back in a comforting motion and feels even more guilty. The coughs sound awful, like he is almost choking and Louis doesn’t want to hear it all. But it is not like he can stop it or anything. 

“Maybe we need to get you some warm clothes,” Louis says as Harry’s cough fade away again. He is only wearing a T-shirt and his boxers, which is already more than he usually wears to bed. But warm clothes sound like a great idea. So he nods his head. 

Louis crawls over Harry to get out of the bed and starts to go through the younger boy’s suitcase to find some clothes. He picks out a warm and comfy looking sweatshirt, some sweatpants and woollen socks. Harry is glad to put them on. 

“Better?” Louis asks once Harry has got them on. Harry smiles and nods his head. He is still cold, but it does feel a bit better already. He wraps the duvet around his body and looks over at other bed on the other side of the room that Niall is still occupying. 

He has woken up from Niall’s sneezing, so he must feel a bit ill as well and that is their fault. He feels a bit bad for him. If Louis hadn’t come up with such a stupid idea then no one would be ill. But luckily they all get to go home today and he hopes that he will get some sleep on the train because he feels really tired. 

A knock on their door make all their heads turn that way. “Breakfast in fifteen minutes,” the voice of a teacher sounds through the door. Harry groans. He really doesn’t feel like getting out of bed. He doesn’t feel hungry, either. He feels like he might throw up whatever settles in his stomach. 

“I think I should get going,” Louis says, starting for the door. He smiles at Harry, who only gives him a small and weak smile back and then leaves the room to get back to his own and throw some clothes on for breakfast. 

Harry and Niall do the same and then head down the stairs. During breakfast, Niall ends up eating Harry’s plate as well. Harry can see that Liam eyes him suspiciously. Harry didn’t seem ill at all the night before and now he couldn’t be more ill. And Niall doesn’t look too good as well, although he is not as bad as Harry. Harry coughs multiple times, sounding like he almost chokes, and Liam can see the faces he pulls because of his sore throat. He sneezes a lot and he has got a very runny nose. 

It annoys Harry to no end. His throat is annoying, his nose is annoying, his stomach is annoying and he is still pretty cold. On top of that, Liam is annoying as well, throwing him all those knowing glares while he doesn’t know anything at all. 

This is going to be a very long day.


	38. If It's True

Louis immediately stops in his tracks as he spots Kenneth at the door of his hotel room. What is he doing here? They haven’t quite been friends anymore since Louis has broken his nose. Not that they really have been friends before, but they hung out. 

“What’s wrong, Tomlinson?” Kenneth says with that stupid, smug grin on his face. Louis really feels like punching it off his face, but he tries to remain calm. He doesn’t really feel like getting into the trouble and he is too ill to have the power to punch him. “Surprised to see me?” 

Louis doesn’t reply, which makes Kenneth only grin wider. “You weren’t in your room last night, now were you Tomlinson?” he says. Louis doesn’t understand how he was ever able to be around Kenneth, the guy is actually a real dick. “I know where you were. You can’t fuck your little friend Eve anymore. You’re such a faggot, fucking some bloody fourth grader, huh?” 

He can’t help it. He just loses his cool. Kenneth’s words make his head spin with anger. His fist flies out, but Kenneth has seen it coming and grab Louis’ hand and turns it around. Louis yelps out in pain. He gets pushed and his back is pressed up against the wall, a knee between his legs that could hurt if it aims a little bit higher. 

“Don’t try this again, Tomlinson,” Kenneth spits out. His voice is full anger and venom. Louis knows that Kenneth isn’t the nicest person, but has never heard him like that before. He won’t admit it, but it kind of makes him a little bit scared. “Or you won’t be able to fuck anymore.” 

The knee disappears from between Louis’ legs, but Kenneth is still close and another grin appears on his face. “I’ve never seen you so silent, Tomlinson.” He lets out a humourless laugh. “Are you scared?” Louis can see his eyes twinkle with excitement at thought of Louis being scared of him. 

Louis pulls a face. If Kenneth thinks that if he is scared, he would tell him, he is really wrong. “I’m not scared of some guy who ain’t as though as he thinks he is,” Louis says, a smug smirk on his face. “You’re just a little fucker who is too dumb to actually do something, so you have to find something else to occupy you with.” 

Well, Kenneth didn’t see that one coming. His face slightly changes. Louis isn’t scared of him like he hoped he would be. He always has thought that Louis has looked for his friendship because he was scared that he would do something to him if he wasn’t his friend. 

But he quickly recovers and doesn’t show his surprise. “Well, well,” he says, his grin returning to his face. “The faggot does have a tongue. And it does other things than sticking it down the throat of your boyfriend.” 

Louis raises an eyebrow. “Just shut the fuck up,” he says. “Your words don’t make sense.” He rolls his eyes and then pushes Kenneth’s body away from his, smashing his shoulders as hard as possible against the other boy when he passes by. 

His eye slightly catches a boy a bit younger than him standing at the end of the corridor before he enters his hotel room. His brain doesn’t completely register who the boy exactly is, but did look familiar. But he definitely doesn’t feel like going back to check. The boy probably isn’t there anymore. 

But he is. Liam is staring into the distance, trying to comprehend what he just heard. Tomlinson and Duncan obviously aren’t friends anymore, but Duncan kept referring to Tomlinson as a faggot. That he is ‘fucking’ with a fourth grader. And he can’t help but think about Harry. Would that be possible? That Harry and Tomlinson have something? They are pretty close, though. 

He shakes his head. That can’t be possible. There about thirty-five male fourth graders. It could be anyone. Harry obviously likes girls. Harry has a thing with Eve, whatever that thing might be. He likes her and she likes him. They went together to the Soirée Casino. 

But Duncan rudely interrupts his train of thoughts. “What are you looking at, little twat,” he says, his eyes narrowing at the sight of Liam. Than realization dawns on him. “You’re the little dork that needed protection from his little friends.” Duncan smirks. 

Liam doesn’t say anything. Even though it has been two years since Duncan him last bullied, he still isn’t very fond of the guy. Not in the slightest bit. And he is obviously not really fond of Liam, either. Not in the slightest bit. 

“You’re fucking Tomlinson as well?” 

Liam’s eyes widen. “N-no,” he stutters. He doesn’t dare to look into Duncan’s eyes. They probably could kill him. Well, he will just admit, he is still as scared of Duncan as he was when he was a first and second grader. And the fact that Duncan remembers him doesn’t make it better. 

“Get out of my sight.” Liam doesn’t have to be told twice. He gets out of there as quickly as possible. He doesn’t even dare to look back at the older boy, scared that he would still do something to him. Liam feels like he is a first grader again and he feel so stupid for it. 

The train is slightly rocking back and forth and it is the perfect rhythmic movement to put Harry to sleep. He feels cold, his throat is sore and he really could use some sleep. That late night swim the other day really wasn’t a good idea. He wishes he wasn’t so stupid to listen to Louis. But how could he ever resist that boy? 

Luckily Niall isn’t chatting all the time like last time. The cause of that is that Niall doesn’t feel too good as well. He isn’t as ill as Harry, since he didn’t swim, but didn’t wear too much clothes and it was pretty cold. He just a got a little cold. 

But Harry’s peaceful slumber is soon rudely interrupted by someone he rather doesn’t see at the moment. “Styles!” Carter says, his harsh tone cutting through Harry’s ears. Harry’s eyes snap open and look up at the older teacher who is looking at him with a frown on his face. “Get off your lazy arse and follow me.” Then he looks at Niall. “You, too Horan.” 

Harry sees the questioning looks from Liam and Zayn, but he shrugs his shoulders. He really doesn’t know what is going on and neither does Niall. But they follow Carter nonetheless who leads them towards a coupé where also Miss Clearwater and Louis are sitting. Harry looks with a confused gaze in his eyes at Louis, but Louis doesn’t know what is going on, either. 

Harry and Niall take a seat on the opposite of Louis. Carter immediately speaks up. “So boys. Had a fun night last night?” Harry’s eyes slightly widen and he sees that also realization hits Louis and Niall. Someone told the teachers about their little swim. 

“Do you really have to do that now?” Miss Clearwater says, eyeing Carter a little bit annoyed. “These boys are ill, Jeffrey. Look at them.” Harry instantly thanks god for such a nice person as Miss Clearwater. 

“Yes, I have to do this now,” Carter says, also annoyed but he doesn’t try to hide like Miss Clearwater did. “It’s their own fault that they’re ill. They went swimming in those little channels, Elisa. That is illegal!”

Oh dear, Harry thinks. They have done illegal stuff and they got caught. They are in deep, deep trouble. And you can tell by Louis and Niall’s faces that they have realized that, too. Harry has got already enough punishment, he thinks. And Louis has got the double. They almost can’t make him pay anymore. 

“They haven’t even admitted it,” Miss Clearwater says, not bothering to hide her annoyance anymore as well. “Just because some kid says it doesn’t mean it’s true. This can at least wait until we’re back at school!”

Harry really didn’t know there will still teachers as nice as Miss Clearwater. Some kid has told them. He really wonders who would say something like that. They only people he can think of he truly hates – and they hate him – are Duncan and his gang. It wouldn’t surprise Harry if they actually told the teachers. 

Louis doesn’t only think that Kenneth has told the teachers, he is positive. Especially after their little encounter earlier this morning. And he starts to realize more and more how much of an arsehole Kenneth actually is. He really doesn’t understand how he was ever able to hang around the guy. 

Niall on the other hand has no idea who could possibly have told the teachers. Someone who doesn’t like them, probably. But he can’t think of anyone who doesn’t like them. There is no one who really hates their guts and tries to make their lives miserable, now is there? He doesn’t think so. 

“Go back to your friends, boys,” Miss Clearwater says. Much to Carter’s annoyance they let the lads go back to their coupés. Harry sees an empty coupé and pulls Louis’ arm. He tells Niall that he will come in about five minutes. Niall nods his head and disappears out of sight. 

“Who do you think it was?” 

“Kenneth,” Louis says as soon as the words leave Harry’s mouth. Harry nods his head. Didn’t he think so. Actually, he doesn’t quite know what he has done wrong to that guy or what Louis has done wrong. But for some reason he can’t really stand them. It is probably because Louis broke his nose. 

“You know,” Louis says softly, averting his gaze from Harry’s eyes. Harry’s heart skips a beat. Louis is never like that. He surely won’t like what is going to come and it scares him. “I think Kenneth knows more. I think he knows what we don’t want anyone to know. I think he knows about us.” 

Louis looks up again and Harry’s stomach flips. He really feels like throwing up right now. Duncan knows? How could he possibly know? Unless he has secretly been spying on them he couldn’t have caught them. Ever. 

But if Duncan really knows than their secret is spilled. There is no way that he will keep this to himself. There is no way he would pass an opportunity like this to embarrass them, to let people hate them or be disgust by them. He wouldn’t pass the opportunity to make their lives as miserable as possible. 

“No!” Harry says, putting his head in his hands and his fingers pulling forcefully on his wild locks. “No, no, no! He can’t know, Louis! He can’t.” Louis’ heart breaks a little as Harry looks up again and he sees the look in the younger boy’s eyes. You can read everything in them but the things Louis actually wants to see. 

“I know,” Louis says, taking a seat next to Harry and pulling him close in his arms. “I know. I don’t want it, either.” 

Liam silently gets up from his seat in the other railcar. Zayn and Niall are both asleep. It doesn’t surprise him much that Zayn is asleep, but for Niall it is a bit odd. He also acted a bit odd after he came back from wherever he went. Harry wasn’t with him and when Liam questioned it he only said that Harry would be back in five minutes. But Harry isn’t back yet. 

Liam really has to pee, so he walks towards the nearest toilet. But he stops in his tracks only moments later and returns a little bit. First he hadn’t recognized them, but now he is looking closer he can see that the two boys who are snuggled close to each other and are fast asleep are indeed Louis and Harry. 

He immediately has to think about what Duncan said to Louis. That he was fucking some fourth grader. Was there actually some truth in his words or is it just coincidence? But what about Eve? Liam thought Harry had something with Eve? Or was it only a cover up? Because he is afraid or ashamed? 

With all these questions in his head he almost forgets that he actually has to pee.


	39. Can't Make It Go

Harry groans inwardly as the loud music invades his eardrums, waking him up from his much appreciated slumber. He lets out a sigh of content as the music stops, turning around and cuddling some more with his sheets and pillows. 

However, his content subsides quickly when Liam’s voice rings through his ears, taking him out of the bliss of still being able to stay in bed. They are back from their trip to Bruges in Belgium and school has started again. He is not really up for it, also still feeling a bit ill. 

Harry eventually rolls out of bed and drags his body over to the showers on the end of the corridor, hoping that a cold one will wake him up. A hot one will only put him back to sleep and even though that is all he really wants, it is not what he intends. 

Classes seem to drag on like forever today. Carter is an arse – like usually – but this time it is even worse because he knows that Harry, Niall and Louis have snuck out during their field trip, but he doesn’t have any evidence to be able to punish them. 

He luckily finally got rid of his shift in the canteen, which is a huge relief and that means he also doesn’t have any detention anymore. Louis, however does and it gets the older boy pissed off. They did the exact same thing, yet Harry’s punishment is lighter. But he will have to deal with it, whether he likes it or not. 

One thing that Harry notices as well is that Liam is looking weirdly at him all the time. It started when they first arrived back at the school the night before and it keeps continuing. Harry doesn’t understand it. Has he done something weird? Is there something going on that he knows nothing of? 

But the thing that has made this the worst day is when he bumps into Duncan on the corridor after dinner. No one is around, just the two of them and the evil smirk on Duncan’s face doesn’t predict anything too good. 

“Well, well,” he says, making Harry want to punch that stupid smirk off of his face. “Styles! Long time no see, huh?” 

“It’s not quite a pleasure to see your face all day so I try to avoid it,” Harry retorts. It caught Duncan off guard for a moment, but he recovers quickly enough for Harry not to notice. After his encounter with Tomlinson he thought that Styles might be a bit scared of him as well. 

“You hurt my feelings,” he says with a fake sad look on his face while he lays his hand over his heart. Harry rolls his eyes and wants to walk past him, but Duncan stops him before he can move a foot away from him. “Not so quick.” 

He gives Harry a firm push, making the younger boy stumble backwards and almost fall, but his back hits the wall instead. Harry glares at Duncan, not sure whether he should make an attempt to walk away again or just listen to the other lad. “What do you want?” 

Duncan’s smirk reappears on his face. “We’re not quite even yet,” he says, coming closer to Harry. Harry’s breath gets caught in his throat. He doesn’t quite trust Duncan, especially not if he is this close. He can feel Duncan’s hot breath on his face and he doesn’t really like it. It is nicer when it is Louis’ breath on his face. “Well, me and Tomlinson aren’t quite even yet.”

Harry scrunches his eyebrows together in confusion. He doesn’t understand what he has to do with an argument between Louis and Duncan. But he doesn’t have much time to think as Duncan’s knee suddenly moves up in a fast speed, colliding with Harry’s crotch. 

Harry yelps out in pain, immediately grabbing at the painful area as he slides down against the wall and falls to the floor. “This one is for your fucking faggot of a boyfriend,” Duncan growls, his face twisted in anger. He kicks in Harry’s stomach, making another cry fall from the younger boy’s lips. 

Then without a second look, Duncan turns around and walks away from Harry, leaving him in a mess of tears, pain and groans lying on the ground. Even after a long while when the pain slowly starts to leave his body he doesn’t get up. 

This is what he has been fearing. This is why he wants to keep his relationship with Louis a secret. They have told Niall and Eve and they reacted pretty well, but only a small amount of people will react that way. Most people will think it is disgusting or any other bad thing it possibly could be. 

People will turn their backs on them, try to avoid them like the plague, pretend they are not there. Maybe he can live with that. But he is scared that his friends, the people he loves, the people he needs will also react that way. And that he wouldn’t be able to handle. Not again. 

He has had it before, people turning their back on him. He couldn’t handle it. He handle it the wrong way. He has closed down from everyone and everything. Even to people he didn’t have anything to do with it. Now he has opened up again he doesn’t want to shut down and experience it all over again. 

He doesn’t feel the pain anymore. He is not sure if the ache started to fade away or if he is just feeling numb. But he thinks it is the latter since he barley notices when someone picks him up from the ground. He barely feels the arm around his waist that holds him up and drags him towards the stairs. He hears them talking, but he doesn’t know what they are saying. 

He is pushed into a bedroom and that is the first time his eyes fix on the person in front of him. The electric blue eyes that are looking at him are filled with worry, but they seem to understand the situation. Or at least, that is what Harry makes up from it. 

The blue eyed boy puts his hand softly on Harry’s cheek, brushing gently along his jawline with his thumb. Harry closes his eyes for a moment, leaning into the touch at first, but when the thumb accidently brushes too harshly, he jerks his head away. 

Louis stares wide eyed at the younger boy in front of him. Harry stares blankly back at him, but he obviously doesn’t see anything. It scares Louis. It scares him that he is so absent and numb. The colour has drained from his face until it is as pale as a sheet. 

“Harry.” His voice is soft, like it might hurt if he speaks too loud. But Harry doesn’t react, merely shifting his gaze a little. But when Louis open his mouth to speak again, Harry’s knees suddenly start to wobble and Louis is just in time to catch him before he hits the ground. “Harry!”

This time Harry does react, his eyes moving so he can look at the older boy. Louis can feel his heart breaking at the broken sight of the boy in his arms lying on the ground. Some tears start to roll down his cheeks and he curls up into Louis’ side, some heart wrecking sobs escaping his throat. 

Louis doesn’t know what to do. He barely knows what is going on. He doesn’t know why Harry was lying on the ground moments ago. Something clearly happened that has made him upset, but he can’t think of anything. So he helplessly wraps his arms around the sobbing boy, pulling him as close as possible.

Harry wants to push himself away but at the same time he doesn’t. He closes his eyes, imagining that Louis isn’t next to him. The touch is from no one. The breathing is just the wind. He is all alone, lying on the cold tiled floor in puddles of his own tears. 

He lifts his hand to wipe away the tears that are left on his cheeks, but his hand is met with someone else’s. He grabs it, first loosely in his hand, then he squeezes hard, his nails digging deeply in their flesh until he feels a warm liquid running over his hand. 

The other person hisses in pain, but he doesn’t pull his hand away. Instead he grabs Harry’s fingers, prying them away from his own hand and taking it in his. His thumb runs over Harry’s palm, smearing the blood over Harry’s hand as well. He doesn’t care. 

Harry sits up to look into Louis’ eyes. He can’t read the emotion that is showing inside of them. It worries him, he has learned to read Louis pretty well and now suddenly he can’t anymore. He wants to know what Louis is thinking, what he is feeling. 

“Harry, what is going?” Louis’ voice softly breaks the silence. He wants so desperately to know what is upsetting Harry so badly, making him so fragile and vulnerable and all other things that Louis doesn’t want to Harry to be. 

Harry opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. He tries, he really does, but it just won’t work. His frustrations are getting the upper hand and he grabs tightly onto Louis’ shirt, pulling the older boy closer to him. He feels a lot like punching something, taking out his anger on something. But the only thing close to him at this moment is Louis. 

Louis immediately reacts by putting his hands on either side of Harry’s face and this is the sign for Harry to smash their mouths together. He feverishly moves his lips against Louis’ like if he would slow down the other boy would vanish. 

Louis’ back hits the wall as Harry starts to suck on his bottom lip. He knows that this isn’t quite right. Harry isn’t feeling alright – and that is pretty much an understatement – but he can’t help but give in. 

As Harry bites hard in his bottom lip, Louis can feel three different liquids on his face, the first Harry’s saliva from his wet tongue, the second his own blood that started running when Harry bit him and the third the tears that are falling from Harry’s eyes. 

It feels a little weird, Harry kissing him so aggressively like he is doing. It has never been like this. Though their first kisses were full of frustration, it was nothing like this. Louis can’t even put a finger on the emotion that is hidden behind their mouths collapsing. But isn’t a good emotion, that much he is sure. 

And he knows he should pull away. That he should take Harry in his arm and comfort him with whatever is bothering him. But he can’t bring himself to pull away. Even though there is so much negativity in the kiss, Harry still tastes delicious. 

Harry pulls away for a moment as he almost tears Louis’ shirt off of his body. He can’t read the emotions in the younger boy’s eyes anymore. It makes him unsure what to feel himself. He shouldn’t like this as much as he does. 

He groans loudly as Harry violently starts to suck on the skin of Louis’ neck, leaving a clear purple mark. It hurts a little, but strangely enough he still doesn’t want Harry to take his mouth away. Even though it is a release of Harry’s frustration and he should out them in another way. 

“I love you,” Harry whispers, making Louis’ eyes widen in surprise. Then a yelp escapes the older boy’s throat as Harry bites him hard in his shoulder. He feels the skin breaking and the blood running out. 

Then Harry’s lips softly brush over the sore spot, pressing a light kiss on his shoulder. “But I can’t do this anymore.” The words are so softly whispered that Louis needs a moment to understand them. But when they get through to him Harry has already disappeared out of the room, leaving Louis alone with a heavy breath, blood, tears, saliva and sweat smeared all over his face. 

This time not only Harry’s tears.


	40. Someone Will Bleed

Harry flinches at the loud bang he throws the door shut with. He doesn’t really know where he is going since he doesn’t see a thing with the tears blurring his vision. He just pretty much broke everything off with Louis. He told him he couldn’t do it anymore. 

And he regrets his decision the instant he made it. But if they will come out, then there are a lot of people going to react like Duncan did. Maybe even worse. And Harry can’t live with that. He thought he died a little on the inside after this first time. 

Maybe he would get used to it. But it will hurt Louis as well. He doesn’t want to see him hurt. Maybe he is hurt now, but that won’t last long. This is the short pain. If he stays with Harry and everyone will hate on him, that will hurt so much more, he is sure. And that he can’t bear. 

He doesn’t know how, but in one way or another he managed to find his own bedroom. At first Liam doesn’t look up as the door opens, but when he hears a sob coming from the other boy he immediately throws down his book and gets up from his bed. 

Harry’s back slides down against the door to the ground. As he starts to full on crying, he puts his head in his hands to not have to look at Liam. He doesn’t want to explain anything. He wants to kick things and scream out his lungs, but he know he can’t. So he will just have to deal with almost gripping his hair out of his head. 

Liam crouches down next to Harry. To say that he is worried is an understatement. It is not like Harry is the happiest kid running around, but he wouldn’t sob his heart out if there isn’t anything major going on and upsetting him to the maximum. 

He hesitantly puts a hand on Harry’s shaking shoulder. Harry doesn’t look up, but it is not like he expected him to. He also doesn’t expect him to answer but he asks the question anyway. “Harry, what is going on? What happened?” 

The expected silence follows. Liam sighs and takes a seat next to Harry on the ground. He waits until the sobs slow down and then start to fade away. He watches as Harry wipes away the tears on his cheeks and then looks at Liam with red rimmed eyes. 

“It’s about Louis Tomlinson, isn’t it?” Liam asks. He thought a bit, while Harry was a sobbing wreck next to him. He has seen them cuddling on the train and he has heard Duncan talking to Louis about them like him and Harry have something. He knows, it is Duncan, but Louis made no move to deny it. 

And the bloody twat has hurt his friend. 

“It’s over,” Harry mumbles, his voice rough from the crying. He stares right in front of him as he speaks, not wanting to see Liam’s reaction. He has never liked Louis, the chance is pretty big that he will react the same way as Duncan. Not that he would beat Harry up, but he is sure that Liam won’t be too happy with it. 

But Liam’s answer surprises him. “Do want to talk about it?” So he can laugh at him? So he can make fun of him? No thanks, he rather wallows in his misery for a while. The only person with whom he would talk about it is Eve, but he doesn’t see that happen any time soon. 

“Not really.” He gets up from the ground, leaving Liam alone on the tiles. He starts to strip down his clothes and then crawls in his much needed bed. Even though he feels tired and worn out, sleep doesn’t take over for a couple of more hours. 

The sharp object dances over his tan flesh, leaving small white lines on his skin. When a moment of anger or sadness boils up again, his grip tightens around the object and he presses it a bit too hard in his arm, breaking the skin. It doesn’t hurt anyway. 

His tired eyes stare blankly in front of him. He doesn’t really see anything, even if the light would have been turned on. He barely feels the cold tiles his sitting on or the hard wall his back is leaning against. The cold wind blowing through his open window doesn’t bother him. 

Harry just ran away from him. That is all that bothers him at the moment. Harry ran away with the words ‘I love you’ and ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ What is he supposed to think about that? That Harry can’t bear to love him? That it makes him sick to love someone like him? 

It had taken him by surprise when Harry said he loves him. A good surprise. A moment of happiness. He could use it at that moment with Harry being all sad and broken. But the happiness has subsided pretty quickly when Harry had spoken his next words. Instead the hurt and sadness appeared. 

He is not quite sure what he should do now? Should he try to make Harry change his mind or should he just leave it be? If Harry really can’t live with them being together, then maybe it is better this way. He doesn’t want that Harry is hurt as long as he stays with him. Then it might be better if they are apart. 

And it might be selfish, but he doesn’t really want to be apart from Harry. He likes being with him, even though he wouldn’t wanted to admit for a long time. But now he does and it just slipped all through his fingers. It is gone now. And he doesn’t know how to get it back or even if he should get it back. 

A loud knock on his door makes him jump and wake up from his daze. In a moment of stupidity he thinks that Harry is standing on the other side of the door, but those thoughts disappear just as quickly as they have come when a voice sounds through the wooden door. “Louis Tomlinson, get your lazy arse out of bed!”

He doesn’t reply nor does he make an attempt to get up from the floor. The door of his bedroom swings open to reveal a not so happy looking Eve. But the look in her eyes quickly change as she sees Louis sitting on the floor. 

To say that Louis is a mess is an understatement. His hair is knotted and tangled and standing in every possible direction. There are large bags under his tired eyes, that were once a beautiful sparkly blue but are now dull and lifeless. You can still see the sticky substance of his dried up tears on his cheeks. There is also a lot of dried up blood, on his bottom lip and chin, on the bite mark on his shoulder and on the multiple little wounds on both his arms. 

“Louis, what the bloody hell happened?” Eve exclaims, her voice full of surprise and worry. She makes her way over to Louis and takes a seat next to him on the ground. She has never seen him this upset before. And the blood worries her to no end. It is like he mentally fought, but it physically showed. 

Louis opens his mouth, but his throat is dry and sore and he can’t make anything come out other than some weird sounds. He tries to clear his throat, but the same happens. Eventually he manages to choke some words out. “He can’t do it anymore. He left me.” 

It takes a moment for Eve to process that he is talking about Harry. Then it hits her. Pretty hard, actually. Harry has left Louis. And it broke Louis into a million little pieces. And Eve desperately wants to glue him back together, because she can’t bear to see Louis broken. Most of the time it is the other way around. 

“He’s scared,” she mumbles, her voice almost as sad as Louis’. She remembers Harry telling her that when she found out. When he asked her not to tell anyone. She thought he was ashamed, but he really was scared. Scared of what other people would think. Scared of getting hurt. Something along those lines must have happened. 

“I don’t know what has happened,” Louis says, still staring right in front of him. “But he was so out of it. I tried to comfort him and he seemed to accept it. I guess not since he pushed me away.” Maybe he did something wrong? Maybe he comforted him in the wrong way? 

“Maybe it wasn’t your fault at all,” Eve says. Louis can’t believe that. It has to have something to do with him. If there was something else going on then Harry wouldn’t have left him, then Harry would still be here smiling and happy. 

“You know it’s not true.” Though she thinks it is. She thinks that Harry got scared of something that doesn’t have anything to do with Louis and that he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he decided to walk away from it. Maybe he doesn’t even like his own decision but thought it was for the better. 

Although she understands why he would do it, that doesn’t mean she agrees with it. It definitely wasn’t for the better, maybe even for the worse. Louis is broken and she is sure that Harry is as well. And she can’t stand to see two of her good friends broken. Especially not if they can make each other happy. 

She gets up from the floor, holding her hand out for Louis to grab it. “Come on Lou, we have to get to class,” she says. “You already missed the classes this morning. Aren’t you hungry? Maybe you should eat something.” Louis doesn’t grab her hand. Class is the last thing on his mind right now. And so is food. The thought of eating something already makes him want to throw up. 

He shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Just tell them I’m ill or something.” Eve sighs. She knows that he doesn’t feel well right now, that he is sad and all, but wallowing in his own misery is only going to make it worse. Class might take his mind off of things for a bit. Even if it is only with the thought that he doesn’t want to be there. 

“I’m not going to do that,” she says firmly, grabbing his hand and using all her force to get him on his feet. Pretty much against his will he follows Eve towards the canteen. He doesn’t eat anything though. He just stares in front of him while Eve tries to take off his mind by chatting about things that doesn’t interest him at all. 

After the afternoon break he sees the boy he is sure he wants to see or not. Harry is just as much of a mess as him. His hair is just as messy, his eyes just as dull and lifeless. He looks like he can burst into tears any moment or can collapse from exhausting. Louis wants to go over to him and hug him, tell him that everything is going to fine. At the same time he wants to turn his back to him and not ever have to look at him again. 

He feels his heart skip a beat the moment Harry takes his eyes off of the ground to look into his. His green eyes sparkle for a moment before he wipes the moistening corner of his eyes and turns away to his friends. Louis feels his heart breaking all over again.

It hurts Harry to turn his back to Louis, but leaving him also means that they aren’t able to be friends. It would lead to the same thing, it would happen all over again. And they would both end up being hurt again. He can deal with being hurt himself but he can’t deal with Louis being hurt. 

Seeing him like this, walking around like the living dead, is already bad enough. He can’t bear to do that again or make it worse. It is best to be apart, to be away from Louis. The wounds will heal with time. Louis’ probably faster than his own. It can’t be that Louis needed him that much. 

He is not able to concentrate on Spanish during class, the broken sight of Louis appearing on his retina every five seconds. It makes him want to tear his hair out. He is getting frustrated and angry again. Niall suddenly grabs his violently shaking hand. “Jesus, Harry. What is going on?” he asks. 

Harry’s response is sprinting out of class with all the pupils staring after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm only ten chapters from the end, I just realized that..   
> BUT, i've got some exciting news, i'm going to tell it with the next post i make   
> mwhahaha..  
> sorry, got a bit carried away..


	41. Run And Dream

Weeks pass. The biting winter cold slowly starts to change into a chilly breeze. Baby leaves start to grow on the naked branches. More people come outside to enjoy the watery sun that starts to peak through the clouds, their clothes less thick. The moods of the pupils of Westminster Boarding School lighten. 

From everyone but two certain boys. Their problem? Each other. They are both having an internal fight with themselves whether they finally should go up and talk to each other or not. Being uncertain, thinking that the other is doing fine without them, they stay away from each other. 

Harry stabs his fork into his pasta, not looking at his plate but staring right in front of him. He hasn’t really eaten any of his food, just shoving it around on his plate. His gaze is fixed on nothing and he jumps when Liam speaks up. “Harry, stop messing with your food, just eat already. You’ve got so little to eat those past few weeks.” 

Liam is worried about Harry. Since that day he came in their room crying it is not going really well with him. He has gotten thinner, not eating that much anymore. He looks tired all the time, his eyes barely open with large bags underneath them. He doesn’t smile anymore, his mouth most of the time turned into a frown. And he is so absent, seeming everywhere but where he is supposed to be. 

Harry has never told him what has happened that night. But he has got some suspicions. And he is sure that Louis Tomlinson has something to do with it. they don’t hang out anymore, they don’t talk, they don’t even look at each other. He even thinks that they try to avoid each other as much as possible. 

What exactly happened between the two, he doesn’t know. But it must be some really big fight, because how Harry always defended Louis, he didn’t thought they would part any time soon. He knew, though. He knew that Louis would end up hurting Harry, that the older boy is no good for him. 

Liam isn’t the only one who noticed the lack of contact between Harry and Louis. After that Harry ran out of class a couple of weeks ago, Niall went after him. He had asked Harry what that was all about and Harry had broken down and had told him everything. He told Niall more than he told Louis. 

He told him about his encounter with Duncan, where Louis knows nothing of. He told him about his fears, where Louis knows nothing of. He told him how he couldn’t pull himself away from the older boy, where Louis knows nothing of. He told him that he had said to Louis that he loves him, so he would know that it isn’t his fault. But he doesn’t think the message got through. 

And even Zayn noticed the difference between the two. He doesn’t know that there was more going on between them than friendship, but he can see that they are distant now. However, he hasn’t said anything, not thinking that they were that close. Man, is he wrong. 

After dinner, Harry finds himself heading towards the library. He has got to write an essay about a book for his English course, due in a week, and he doesn't even know what book he is going to read yet. And he doesn't really feel up for reading a book and definitely not for writing an essay about it, either. He just wants to lay in his bed and sleep because he feels so goddamn tired. 

Harry walks through the aisles of the library, not really looking at the books, but simply wasting his time. His fingertips brush softly over the back of the book, his eyes a little glassy. He doesn’t stop until his fingers bump into a familiar looking cover. One of a book he already read for English last semester. It’s called _The Kite Runner_. He remembers why he had chosen that book. Louis had pointed it out to him. 

He takes the book out of the book shell. And looks at the young, Pakistani boy on the cover with a kite in his hand. He wishes he is that young again, playing football in the park with his friends, without a care. Before everything happened. Those were great times. He misses them on moments like these. It is funny how you want to grow up so badly when you are little and once you are grown up, you want to be young again when everything seemed fine. 

He jumps up from his thoughts and almost drops the book to the ground when he hears someone walking into the aisle. The other person looks up at the same time Harry does and his heart stops beating the moment his eyes meet some beautiful blue ones. Ones that once sparkled with happiness but are now dull and lifeless. All thanks to Harry. And it hurts to see that it is still affecting Louis as much as it is affecting him. Sometimes he wishes he never had spoken those words. 

The blue orbs lower from Harry’s eyes to his hands, where his fingers are still tightly clutching onto the book. There is a spark of recognition in them. Harry’s heart stops beating again the moment Louis opens his mouth and speaks with a voice ever so soft. “You already read that book.” His arm slightly moves up to point at the book before it falls flat against his side again. 

Harry stares at the older boy for a moment. Louis is speaking to him. And there are no harsh words to scold him or hurt him. It is a simple statement. One that Harry has to reply to. He shakes his head, suddenly realizing that he has been staring and that he should answer instead – before Louis walks away from him. “I know,” he says, his voice not louder than Louis’ was. “I just really liked it.”

It is not entirely a lie. He did like reading it, more than he thought he would. But that is not the reason he is holding it in his hands right now. He doesn’t plan to read it again. The reason he is holding it in his hands is because of the memories. He read it when everything between him and Louis was fine. They were barely friends back then. But now they are even less than friends. They are almost strangers to each other. He should have guessed it would go wrong somewhere. 

Louis slightly nods his head, like he knows that Harry’s words meant more than what he just said. “It is a good book.” And Harry knows that Louis’ words also mean more than what he just said. It makes a small smile appear on Harry’s features and he is surprised that it doesn’t hurt after wearing that frown for so long. It actually feels kind of good, even. 

“Yeah, it is,” Harry says as the smile fades off of his face. He doesn’t really know what else to say and it is obvious that Louis doesn’t, either. Harry wonders how it has been able to come so far. Once they were so comfortable with each other, no awkward silences like these. Now they don’t even know what to say to each other. Although there are a million things Harry wants to say, but he just can’t force them out of his throat. 

“Well, um…” Louis struggles a moment to think of words, Harry’s appearance mesmerizing him. Even with the sad atmosphere hanging around him, Louis finds that he still looks beautiful. The purple bags underneath his eyes from a few weeks prior have disappeared to the point where you can barely see them. His hair has always been a mess and Louis has always been in love with it. The small smile that appeared a few moments ago still warms his heart as he thinks about it. 

But his eyes. God, those eyes. They are still stunning, but in a strange way. All colour has drained from his orbs, no emerald visible anymore. No happiness visible anymore. They are a soft grey colour now, sparkling but not with the joy Louis has been able to admire so many times. They sparkle with sadness. Louis has no idea how it is even possible, but it is beautiful and heart breaking at the same time. 

“Um, I guess I have to go,” Louis says, tearing his eyes off of Harry’s face and turning on his heels to walk away from the younger boy. Harry wants to reach out and grab his hand. He wants to hold Louis tightly against his body. Or at least call him back so they can talk some more, so he can see his stunning features. But he doesn’t. He can’t. he lets Louis walk away from him. Again. And maybe for good. 

His heart wrenches as he turns around as well and walks in the opposite direction, leaving _The Kite Runner_ behind on the ground. He should have set his foot on it. He should have ripped the pages apart just like he ripped his heart apart. And Louis’. Now he wishes he could leave his heart behind just like leaving the book. It would be so much easier. He would just go completely numb, not feeling a single thing. 

But he can’t and now he is stuck with these messed up feelings. He wishes he could make things right, but he knows he can’t. Even if Louis would allow him back again, it won’t be the same anymore. He has changed things for good. Sometimes he wonders what would have happened if he had just sucked it up, If he hadn’t said the words that turned his whole life upside down.

“Hi, Harry,” Harry jumps five feet in the air for the second time in less than half an hour. He turns around to be met with the sparkling blue eyes of a smiling Eve. Harry places a hand over his heart and Eve softly chuckles at him. 

“Hi, Eve,” he replies. Harry has talked to Eve a couple of times after his big mistake. He is not sure how much she knows. Probably as much as Louis does. She has never asked him as to why he broke everything off with Louis. Neither has she said anything about how Louis is dealing with it. He won’t ask it, either. not because his not interested – because he is – but because he knows that she won’t tell him anything. She would say that he has to ask Louis himself. 

“Are you looking for anything specific?” Eve asks gesturing at the book shell. Harry smiles. He knows that she knows the library like the inside of her back pocket. And she is the kind of person who is glad to help anyone with anything. 

“Not really,” Harry answers. He lets out a sigh when he thinks back at the book he has to read and the essay he has to write about it. he really doesn’t feel up for it. he could curl up on the floor and sleep right on this instant if he wanted to. “I’m looking for a book to read for English.”

Eve rolls her eyes. She has always found it stupid that teachers force their pupils to read a book. Half of the class won’t even do it and just look for summaries on the internet. But Harry is actually talking the effort to look for a book and she likes that. “Is _Requiem For A Dream_ on your list?” she asks. 

Harry takes the paper that is supposed to be his list with books out of his back pocket and scans it for the name. the his eyes land on it and he smiles. _Requiem For A Dream_ by Hubert Selby Jr. “Yes, it is,” he says. Eve points in a certain direction to go look for the book. He silently thanks Eve when he read the back side. 

Even though the book seems cool, he doesn’t start to read this evening. When he gets back to his room, he feels so tired that he just undresses himself and crawls underneath the warm covers. Liam isn’t there and he doesn’t know where he went, but Harry doesn’t care at the moment. He is content with the silence and his comfortable bed as he falls in a much needed slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the exctining news I told you about last chapter: I've got a sequel to this! whoohoo!!


	42. Turn Your Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apperantly I didn't updat yesterday, so I'm going to upload another chapter later today (:

“I don’t get you,” Liam says with a chuckle as Harry lets out a sigh when he finally hears the click of his suitcase closing. “With the Christmas break you refused to leave and go home and now you can’t wait to get out of here.”

It is the last day of school before the spring break starts. Both Liam and Harry are packing their bags to go home the following morning. After and embarrassing phone call with his mother a few days ago, Harry decided that he wanted to go home for two weeks. His mother had mocked him about it a bit, but eventually she admitted that she would love to see him. It has been a long time since he last saw his family. 

“Things change,” Harry replies, his eyes saddening a bit. He averts his eyes, hoping that Liam won’t see it. But he does. And he knows that Harry wanting to go home isn’t the only thing that has changed. Also his reason as to why he wants to go home in the first place. And he suspects that the lack of contact with Louis Tomlinson has something to do with it. 

Yes, things change and you have changed the most. He says it in his mind, directing the words at the other boy in the room. But he doesn’t say them out loud. He is not quite sure how Harry would react if he did. He probably knows himself that things are different. And he knows the cause of it as well. Liam wishes he could do something about it. he doesn’t like to see his friend this way. 

“Unfortunately, sometimes they do,” Liam replies. Harry looks away from Liam’s face. He knows what he means. He knows that lima is talking about how he has been acting lately. He knows he hasn’t been a pleasure to be around. But he never thought it would be this hard. Or more, he hoped it wouldn’t be this hard. Maybe Louis meant – or means – a little bit more to him than he realized. But he can’t turn it back now. 

Harry doesn’t reply. From tomorrow on he has got two weeks to try and get Louis out of his mind. Not that he thinks it will work, but it might help to know that he isn’t in the same building where there is always a chance to bump into him. And if they only can make awkward talk like in the library then he rather doesn’t speak to him. It only makes him realize more what he has lost. 

“I’m hungry,” Harry says after a silence. He jumps off of the bed and places his suitcase next to the door to leave first thing in the morning. Liam follows his example and then they head down together to have dinner. 

Zayn catches up with them in the Great Hal, telling them that Niall is already eating. Harry chuckles a bit to himself as he grabs a tray. So typical Niall. He can easily imagine the blonde sitting alone, happy with being alone with his food. 

Suddenly the tray is smashes out of his hands and falls to the ground with a clattering sound. “Where is your apron, kitchen princess?” the hateful voice hisses in his ear as he feels some strong shoulder ramming into his own. “Lend it to your boyfriend? Oh wait, that’s over, isn’t it?”

Harry is sure that he is the only one who has heard Duncan’s harsh words yet he can’t help but feel his cheeks heating up. His words stab like knives in his chest, especially since it is true. But he tries to ignore the throbbing pain around the area of his heart as he bends down to pick his tray off of the floor. He doesn’t find the power to defend himself.

But as soon as he stand up again the tray is out of his hands again and on the floor. “Answer me, you twat,” Duncan hisses. Harry hasn’t looked on second at his face yet and he knows he isn’t able to. He just keeps his gaze locked with the ground. The feeling of Duncan’s breath in his neck is enough to know that he is still standing way too close. 

But suddenly it is gone and Harry breathes out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Harry’s eyes widen and he is so surprised to hear the voice that he turns around immediately to look behind him. In the process he can see all the other people staring at the little group. Even the lunch lady. 

Harry still hasn’t gotten over his surprise as his eyes finally land on the scene now in front of him. A hand has gripped Duncan tightly by the collar of his shirt, their face close to each other. Zayn’s eyes are burning with anger and Harry is glad to see the fear in Duncan’s eyes. Zayn’s other hand is balled into a fist and held close to Duncan’s face, ready to punch. 

“You really need to stop picking on my friends, mate. I don’t even see the fun in it, but you’re such a retarded little douchebag that I can understand how you can easily keep yourself occupied with such a low activities,” Zayn spits it out all at once. He releases Duncan’s collar and pushes him away from him like he is a piece of rubbish. “Get out of my face, man.” 

And Duncan has disappeared out of sight before someone can even blink with their eyes. Harry is surprised to see what kind of effect Zayn has on Duncan. If he had only known this before, maybe things would have gone a lot differently. Imagine if Zayn had had a word with Duncan before he did what Harry made to make that horrible decision. 

“There’s nothing to see here,” Zayn suddenly says, his voice still filled with anger and making Harry jump up from his thoughts. People had still been staring at them and Zayn just scared them all away. All but a couple that are a bit too familiar for Harry’s liking. All eyes turn to him now and he feels a bit uncomfortable but his eyes stay trained on one certain boy. 

“You should have told us this before, Harry,” Zayn says, picking up Harry’s tray that is still lying on the floor. “We could have done something about it earlier.” He knows that and now he wishes he had, but he was scared. He might had have to tell them everything and he didn’t want that. He had been too scared. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. Zayn pats him on the shoulder, telling him he shouldn’t be sorry. Him and Liam grab their own food and join Niall at the table to eat while Harry is still staring at the boy in front of him. He doesn’t look happier than the last time he has seen him. In fact he looks even worse and Harry wants to fix him so badly. But he can’t. 

“You could have told me,” Louis says so softly that Harry isn’t even sure if it was just his mind playing tricks on him or if Louis actually said something. Harry looks around, trying to avoid Louis’ sad gaze. He doesn’t want to have this talk here, he doesn’t want to have this talk now. As badly as he wants to fix this, he isn’t sure if he is actually ready for this. What if it happens all over again? What if it is going to be even worse? 

His eyes finally land on Louis again. He is a mess. Harry knows it, but he still thinks that Louis looks gorgeous. His crystal blue eyes with green flecks in them look at him, almost pleading him. They make his knees go weak, his breath getting caught in his throat. The hands he can almost touch, that have roamed his body so many times, they make his head spin with the thought alone. Imagine what happens to him when they actually touch him, so soft yet so rough. 

“Not here,” Harry’s voice is hoarse and he is surprised that he even managed to force a word out of his throat and not just some weird sounds. He is surprised that the sight of Louis, so sad and so broken, hasn’t brought tears to his eyes yet. Because he feels like he could be a sobbing mess falling to the ground any moment now. 

“Then where, Harry?” Louis’ voice isn’t so soft anymore, sounding loud and harsh now, clearly audible. Harry flinches at the sound. He suddenly doesn’t look so broken and sad anymore. “Then where the hell, Harry? Tell me, because I really want to know. If we can’t do this now, then when will we? When will _you_? It’s been fucking weeks. And you leave me with nothing. I can’t wait forever.”

Right on that instant Harry knows he has made the biggest mistake of his life. Even bigger then when he spoke the words that started this all. And he knows he has lost Louis forever now. Because he doesn’t five him the time to protest, he is already out of the door of the canteen. He has screwed up big time now. 

The London area slowly disappears out of his sight as the car moves towards his hometown, Holmes Chapel. His curly haired head leans against the cool glass of the car window, his eyes half open and looking outside at the passing by landscape. He is glad that he is finally able to leave the school for a while. 

“Are you excited to see your old friends again?” his mum’s voice breaks the tense silence. He appreciates her attempts to make small talk, but he really doesn’t feel up for talking at the moment. He really wants to sleep, but Louis’ last words keep him awake all the time. _I can’t wait forever_

“I don’t have any friends here,” Harry replies. It is true, though. All his friends have abandoned him after the incident at school. No one wanted to be friends with a thief and a liar. You can’t trust those people, even if he wasn’t either of them. But he doesn’t want to be friends with them anymore, either. He doesn’t want to be friends with people you don’t believe him when he tells the truth. There are only two of his friends that believe him. 

“Don’t say that, Harry.” His mum’s voice doesn’t sound so cheerful anymore like it had before, even though it had sounded a bit fake. He is not sure if his mum is actually glad to see him. She might be acting like she is, but he hasn’t forgotten about how their goodbye had been. It wasn’t very cheerful, was it?

He doesn’t reply. The rest of the car ride happens in silence. His mum has come around, even though she kind of had to cause he is her son. But maybe his friends would, too? Well, he isn’t quite sure if he would forgive them if they did. He had to forgive his mother because she is his mother and after all he loves her. she has made him to who he is today for the greater part. 

He has fallen asleep, his face pressed up against the cool glass when his mum finally pulls into their driveway. She shakes him awake and together they load his stuff into the house he had to miss for the past six months. He didn’t know it would feel this good to finally be home again. 

Everything looks exactly the same like when he left six months ago. The comfortable sofa where he probably has spent half of his time on is still standing in the middle of the living room in front of the television. The painting he made for Mother’s day when he was five is still hanging on the wall next to the television. The coffee table is still covered with fashion magazines of his sister. 

During dinner he enjoys the delicious taste of a home cooked meal by his mother. The food at school isn’t too bad, in fact it is better than at his old school. But nothing can compete with the food his mother cooks. That is definitely a thing he has missed a lot. 

And of course he has also missed his own bed a lot. Even though it has lost Harry’s scent in those past six months, it still feels more familiar than his bed in Westminster that probably completely smells like Harry. But he doesn’t mind. 

All that matter is that he is home now and that it feels good to be home.


	43. Little Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter number two of the day!

The smell of scrambled eggs with bacon and French toast makes its way from the kitchen up the stairs and into the bedroom of a curly haired boy. The scent settles in his nose, waking the boy with a content grunt. He slowly opens his eyes and automatically turns his head to where the smell is coming from. He has definitely missed waking up like this. 

“Good, you’re awake. Mum just sent up to wake you.” Harry’s head turns at the sound of the voice. His three year older sister Gemma is leaning with her shoulder against the doorframe of his room as she looks at him with a small grin on her face. She might not admit it, but she has missed her little brother. And he has missed her, too but he won’t admit, either. 

“I’ll be down in a few,” Harry replies as he sits up in his bed and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. Gemma gives him a nod before she leaves his bedroom and heads downstairs. The smell of the amazing food he knows is waiting for him in the kitchen is almost irresistible, but he remains in his sitting position on his bed for a while as he looks around his own private bedroom. 

The room is cleaner than he remembers. The clothes on his hanger are gone, the stuff on his desk is neatly arranged, his bed was made up when he crawled in last night and the doors of his closet were closed when he was sure he left them open. It was sort of a sign of protest, leaving his closet doors open. 

When he finally can’t resist the smell any longer, he gets out of bed. It feels good to be able to get out of bed and no roommates try to awkwardly look away from him. He grabs a clean pair of boxers, some basketball shorts and a plain, grey shirt. He hasn’t bothered to unpack his suitcase yet and he is not sure if he will. He will have to pack it again in two weeks anyway. 

When he enters the kitchen he finds his mother sitting alone at the breakfast table, mindlessly chewing on some French toast. Gemma is nowhere to be seen and neither is his stepfather. “Morning, mum,” Harry says, snapping his mother out of her trance. “Where’s Gem?”

“Out with some friends,” his mother answers. She gets up from her seat to grab a clean plate and fills it with toast and scrambled eggs. Harry quietly thanks her as she sets the plate down in front of him. “You should, too. Go out with some friends.”

Harry suppresses the urge to roll with his eyes. He has told his mother before he doesn’t have any friends here anymore. He hopes that she won’t ask this every day, because he doesn’t feel like repeating it each time. She knows what has happened so he doesn’t understand why he still has to explain. 

“You can’t stay inside for two weeks,” his mum says. Oh, watch me, Harry thinks. But he doesn’t say anything. His mum sighs. “I don’t understand why you came home if you don’t even want to be here. I know it’s not how it used to be, but you’re the only who is to blame.” 

He has to do his best not to flinch when she aims her words at his chest and they stab him like knives. She still doesn’t believe him it wasn’t him. She still thinks that he stole the money and still keeps lying about it. He thought she knew him better, she is his mother after all, but he guesses not. 

“Giving me the silent treatment, Harry?” she asks, raising an eyebrow at her son. “It’s not going to work, though. I’m not playing your little games. Grow up for once.” She jumps a little at the loud noise of Harry’s chair falling backwards as he gets up from his seat and sprints up the stairs, slamming the door of the kitchen close behind him. 

As he heads back to his room, he feels a lot like packing his bag again and go back to Westminster. But that would be too easy. He doesn’t to give his mother that satisfaction. Plus, he doesn’t even want to be there. Since he doesn’t talk to Louis anymore it has become a hell all over again. 

With a loud groan he lets his body collapse on his bed. He fishes his phone from underneath his pillow and sees that he has a new text message. It is from Hayley, one of the only people who still wants to talk to him. _Heard you’re in town again. Care to hang with Jaden and me?_

He can’t help it, but a little smile creeps on his face as he reads the message. Well, if his mother wants him to hang out with friends, then so it be. He will hang out with some friends and it might make her a bit happy as well. He didn’t come home to fight with his mother and if he pleases her it might be bearable to be home and he might actually enjoy it. And he would actually really love to hang out with Hayley and Jaden.

So he replies to Hayley’s text with an _Yeees (:_ and they agree upon meeting in an hour at their school, Harry’s old school – where he got kicked out. Maybe not the best place to remember, but it is the best meeting place. There is a little park close by, but they have to pass the school anyway. 

So an hour later Harry finds himself on his way to his old school. As he walks around his hometown, he sees that not much has changed. It is like time has stopped the moment he left, like he lived in another world for a while. It is like coming home means he is back in the real world. Although it feels like it is the other way around. 

“Harry!” Harry looks up at the sound of his name being called and smiles when he sees Hayley waving at him with wild gestures of her hand. He frowns a bit as he sees that Jaden isn’t there yet. He is usually on time and with Hayley. 

“Where is Jaden?” Harry asks as soon as he reaches Hayley. Her wide grin fades a bit as he speaks and she pulls him into a tight hug to not immediately having to answers. Harry wraps his arms around her small frame wondering what she is keeping from him. 

“Jade is coming a bit later,” she replies as she releases Harry. She starts walking in the direction of the park and Harry follows closely behind. “How have you been? Is that school still such a hell?” 

Harry thinks for a moment. The school hasn’t gotten any better nor has gotten any worse. What does make it worse is the fact that him and Louis aren’t particularly on good terms. That simple fact sucks the life out of him and makes school ten times worse. His friends know that there is something wrong and they don’t act so happy around him anymore, which only makes him sadder as well. 

But he doesn’t say any of that. He doesn’t want her to know that he is suffering at the moment. Even now, while is not at school. It is like a constant ache that won’t go away, whatever you do. And it annoys him to no end. “It’s not quite heaven,” he replies. 

Hayley nods her head like she knows what he is talking about. Of course she doesn’t know, but she doesn’t ask for an explanation and he won’t give her any, either. He wants to keep his two worlds apart. Hayley belongs to this one and Louis belongs to the other one. 

“How is your friend? You know, the one we saw you with in London.” Wrong question. It immediately leads back to Louis. The last thing he wants to think about, actually. It makes his ache worse. 

His mind flashes back to the day that him and Louis sneaked out of the school to go to London. He had a good time. He had felt happy again after he thought that the school had sucked all the happiness out of his body. It was a good day, even if they had gotten caught and had gotten detention. 

He shrugs his shoulder. How is Louis? Probably glad that Harry didn’t stay at school during the spring break. He remembers what has happened during the winter break and Louis probably doesn’t want that to happen again. Then it would all start over again and Harry is positive that this is the last thing Louis wants. “Good, I suppose.” 

“You don’t sound too sure,” Hayley says, her eyes filling with concern as she looks at her friend. “Did something happen? I mean I don’t know him, but you can talk about it if you want to.” 

Harry quickly shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk about Louis and definitely not about what has happened between the two of them. He would have to confess too much and he doesn’t really feel like confessing anything. “Everything is fine,” he says to not make her worry. He doesn’t want her to worry about something she knows nothing of. 

She looks away from Harry, but he knows she doesn’t believe him. She suddenly reminds him a lot of Eve. A girl who always wants to help, no matter who you are. But also a girl who is able to read people just by looking at their faces. She immediately knows how he is feeling. It can come in handy, but sometimes he wishes she wasn’t so good at it. 

She doesn’t say anything, though. It is Harry’s problem. If he wants to talk about it then she is here to listen, but if he doesn’t want to say anything about it then she won’t push him. She doesn’t even know that friend of his, even though he looked like a nice guy. 

“How has it been here while I was gone?” Harry asks after a short silence. He is already glad that she doesn’t push the subject. She has a great sense for that. But he really is curious as to what has been going on here while he was at Westminster. 

Hayley’s eyes sadden a bit at the thought of school. “Not so well, actually,” she says, making Harry’s heart sink. “A lot of people have been pushing me and Jaden away because we believe you. Because we defend you. Because we didn’t think you stole the money, which I know is not true. I don’t even understand how people can think that. You’re like the most honest guy I know.”

Harry’s heart clenches. People have been pushing his best friends away from them because he did something and they just backed him up. He didn’t want any of that to happen. He can live with thoughts that he doesn’t really have friends anymore, but not with the thought that the only people who still believe in him have to go through the same. 

It is horrible and it is all his fault. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, looking away from her sad face and turning his head to his shoes. “I didn’t mean to –”

“Of course you didn’t mean to!” Hayley says, cutting Harry off midsentence. “You don’t have to be sorry, they are the ones who are supposed to be sorry. But really Harry, I don’t care anymore. If those people are supposed to be good friends, then I don’t want to have any good friends. I know you didn’t do it.” 

He feels his inside warm as Hayley talks. Honestly, she is so sweet that he sometimes can’t bear it. At the same time he wants to hug the living life out of her. Instead he gives her a warm smile and she smiles back at him. But the smile is not as big as his and he knows that despite what she says, she does care. 

He wraps his arm around her tiny shoulders and pulls her frame closer to his body. “I don’t want you to be sad, Lee,” he says. “I don’t want you to feel bad because I made a mistake. If they push you away, then push back.” As he presses a kiss on her temple, she lets out a sigh. 

“I know, I’ve tried. It’s just hard.”

Harry knows exactly how it feels, you don’t need to tell him. Sometimes the people you need to most push you the hardest. And he doesn’t know how to cope with it. Even though he was a fool to think so, he hoped it would never happen again. But it did and unfortunately he can’t change it.

“Where’s Jaden?” Harry asks, repeating the first question he asked. He feels Hayley’s shoulders going tense and Harry has his suspicious. He just doesn’t want them to be true. He doesn’t want to lose another person. 

“He’s not coming,” Hayley answers, her voice low. “He blames you.”


	44. Follow Me

Even though it is still chilly outside – it is England after all – Harry’s bedroom window is wide open. He is sitting on the windowsill and staring at his phone that is lying a bit further away on his unmade bed. He doesn’t know why, but has to do his very best to not big the phone up and call Louis. 

He doesn’t like it, that sudden urge to call Louis. It makes him feel weak. It makes him feel like he needs Louis to survive. He wants to be undependable instead of needing Louis. Although he wouldn’t mind if Louis were by his side, but he doesn’t want to long for him so desperately. 

The urge to call Louis appeared when he heard that he lost another one of his friends. Someone he didn’t think that would turn his back on him so soon. He can understand why Jaden has done, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt him. The only one that still believes him is Hayley. 

His friends at Westminster don’t know anything about the case. None of them but Louis. Although he isn’t quite sure if he can Louis still call his friend. Louis knows, but Louis has kind of turned his back to Harry as well. Now he feels alone and left behind. Maybe he deserves it. 

He can’t bear it anymore. He moves his body off of the windowsill and picks his phone up from his bed. His finger start to shake when he looks for Louis’ number and suddenly he doesn’t really want to call Louis anymore. But he presses the dialling button anyway. The phone rings. And rings. Louis doesn’t pick up. 

It is not like he really expected Louis to pick up, but he can’t help but feel a little hurt. He has had a couple of chances to fix things and explain it all, but he has wasted them. Louis told him he couldn’t wait forever, so he probably moved on. It probably wasn’t that hard, either. It is just Harry, you know. 

But his fingers have a mind of their own and they dial Louis’ number again. This time he doesn’t pick up, either. He even presses on the ignore button, because the phone stops dialling after the third ring. The hurt is building up in his chest, but he finds himself calling again. 

Harry’s heart jumps up when the phone gets picked up this time. And he feels scared at the same time. What is he actually supposed to say? He probably should start with an apology. Or should he start explaining things first? Maybe he should let Louis talk first? Maybe he wants to say something as well. 

But Louis has spoken before Harry can come up with anything. “Leave me the fuck alone,” he says and the line goes dead again. This time Harry feels tears welling up in his eyes at the older boy’s harsh words so he doesn’t know why he calls Louis a fourth time. Louis picks up again. 

“What the fuck do think you’re doing? Is rejecting a phone call three times not enough to make you stop? What part of leaving me alone don’t you understand? I don’t want to talk to you ever again. You’re an arse and I don’t care for whatever reason you cut it all off, but you did and you’ll have to learn to deal with it. I gave you the chance to change your mind, but you didn’t. Now you don’t have to crawl back to me. Now I won’t change my mind.”

And Louis kills the line again before Harry can manage to bring a word in between. This time the tears are streaming down his cheeks. Louis’ words stab like knives in his chest. And even though Louis was pretty clear and he doesn’t want to hear his harsh words again, Harry picks up his phone again and calls the older boy a fifth time. He pick up again. 

“Seriously Harry, you need to fucking stop stalking me. I’m going to call the fucking cops if you try it once more. I said everything I wanted to say and I don’t care what you have got to say. Stay out of my life from now on.” Louis’ voice gets angrier each time he picks up the phone and fills more and more with venom. Yet Harry’s heart beats faster every time he hears the sound of it. 

But Louis doesn’t immediately hang up on Harry and he finally grabs his chance to talk. “It’s not you,” he says, his voice sounding way weaker than Louis’, way weaker than he wants it to sound. “It’s never been you.”

He hears Louis sigh. His voice doesn’t sound so harsh and angry anymore when he speaks again. “I don’t care what it is, Harry,” he says. He almost sounds sad now. To be honest, sad Louis hurts more than angry Louis. “You screwed up. Don’t try to deny you did.” 

He never did. “I don’t deny anything.” He looks out of the window and sees that it has started raining. The weather reflects his mood so perfectly. “I made the biggest mistake ever,” he says, hoping that he will achieve something with it. 

He doesn’t. “I know you did,” Louis replies. “And I wish you never made that mistake.” Honestly, so does he. “But you can’t change it anymore. You can’t go back in time and change what you did. It happened and you’ll have to deal with. I’ll have to deal with it.” 

The last sentence breaks his heart. Louis isn’t okay. Louis isn’t moving on like he thought he would be. As he thinks about it now, it would be easier if Louis moved on. That means that he wouldn’t be hurt. Harry doesn’t want Louis to be hurt, but it seems like he is and it is his fault. “I’m sorry.” 

“Well, I’m sorry, too.”

“No, I’m sorry that I made that mistake. I’m sorry that I hurt you, or broke you or whatever I did. I never meant to do anything to make you feel bad. I did it because I thought it would be better. I thought you would be happier without me. I never wanted to do it. I just didn’t want to be selfish.”

He tries to say it all, but he knows that he leaves out important details. He is not sure if Louis understands what he is saying. But Louis is not stupid. He is silent for a while, but Harry knows that he hasn’t hung up yet. He can hear him breathing. He just wishes it wasn’t through a phone. He wishes Louis was beside him, breathing in his neck. 

“Maybe I was selfish after all.”

“No,” Louis suddenly says firmly. “No. I can’t fall for your nice words or your nice explanation. You don’t need me enough to come back to me when you had the chance. I don’t even understand why you’re trying right now. It doesn’t even mean all that much to you.”

And the line goes dead. Louis is gone. At least away from Harry. Harry has lost his last grip on the older boy. He feels even worse than after the time in the canteen, because this time he really tried. He tried to explain it all to Louis, but he won’t hear any of it. 

The worst part is that he knows that Louis still wants it. He could hear it in the way his voice sounded. The words he said weren’t only trying to convince Harry to stay away from the older boy, Louis was also trying to convince himself. 

Harry lets his body collapse on his bed with a loud sigh. He looks at his phone. He wonders if he should try to call again or not. But he realizes that it might be better if he tried to talk to Louis face to face. But that would take a lot more courage. 

“I know something’s up,” a gentle voice suddenly pulls Harry from his thoughts. He lifts his head and sees his sister standing in the doorway of his room. He can see the worry in her eyes. “And I know it’s not only mum. But you won’t tell me.”

Well, if she knows that much. If he tells her that Louis won’t talk to him, then he’ll have to tell her why and what happened before all that. She might react the same as Kenneth and he doesn’t want to go through that again. He doesn’t want that is own sister turns her back on him. He wouldn’t be able to bear that. Not after that his mother doesn’t quite support him anymore. 

“I just don’t know why,” Gemma says as she makes her way over to Harry’s bed and takes a seat next to him. Her eyes are a little sad and Harry feels a little guilty for not letting her in. But he knows it is better if she doesn’t know. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” she says running her hand through his soft yet wild curls. “But I think it would be easier for you that someone knows. And you can trust me, I’m your sister.” Harry closes his eyes at the gentle touch of Gemma’s fingers. His mother used to do that when he was upset during his younger years. 

“I can’t tell you,” he eventually chokes out. He is surprised he even managed to bring out some decent words. Gemma gives him a sad smile but she doesn’t take her fingers away. Harry can’t help but imagine that the fingers are Louis’. He closes his eyes. 

“I guess I’ll leave you alone if you don’t want to tell me,” Gemma’s voice breaks through Harry’s thoughts and the fingers disappear from his hair. The weight lifts of the bed and the warmth is gone. Gemma walks out of Harry’s room. 

Harry feels a bit bad. He doesn’t intend to shut everyone out, but it just happens. Him and Louis had a secret that no one is supposed to know. He is hurt, but it is still a secret, so he can’t tell anyone about. Although it is clearly shown on his face that something is up. And he just wants to spill it all. But he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences. 

But Gemma is his sister. She hasn’t judged him and he knows she won’t. She knows him better than anyone else does, probably even better than his mother. His mother simply doesn’t take the time anymore, but Gemma makes an effort. Would it be that bad if he told her? 

Now he thinks about it, it probably won’t. But he just pushed her away, wouldn’t it be a bit lame to crawl back to her now. To tell her all of it now he said that he can’t say anything? But she is his sister after all. 

Gemma shows him a big grin when he shows up at her room. “Maybe I do want to talk about it,” Harry says, looking away from his sister’s face. “But you have to promise me that you won’t look any differently at me.” 

Even though he isn’t looking at her, Gemma can see that Harry’s eyes are pleading and sad. She nods her head, releasing that this is a serious matter. Her little brother is broken, but she isn’t sure if she can fix him. And that scares her. She can’t seem to protect him. “I won’t.”

Harry takes a deep breath, trying to prepare himself. But he realizes that he will never be ready to tell anyone about it. So he is just going to tell his sister, even though he isn’t ready for it. He just has to say it. It can’t be that hard, can it? 

“I pushed away the person I need the most.”

Gemma doesn’t immediately reply, but then she realizes that Harry isn’t going to say anything more. She frowns a little. She doesn’t quite understand. Who is that person? Why did he push them away? How did he do it? What are the consequences? He will have to say more if he wants that she is going to help him. “Can you explain a little bit more.”

Harry sighs again. Of course she was going to ask for an explanation, he figured that much. And now he said that, he knows that he can’t go back anymore. He will _have_ to explain now, whether he likes it or not. “There is this guy. His name is Louis. He did something to me, he changed something inside of me. I fell in love with him. And the feeling seemed to be mutual.”

He pauses for a moment. He has clearly heard Gemma’s little gasp when he said that he is in love with a guy. Whether it is just surprise or disgust, Harry doesn’t know. And he doesn’t want to find out as long as he tells her his story. That is why he doesn’t dare to look at her. So he just continues while he looks at his hands. 

“But you know, I was scared. I didn’t want anyone to know, it was our little secret. But some people did find out. They didn’t seem to mind, so I was okay with it. But some people did mind and they showed me that. I felt horrible and I’m sure that Louis was going, too when something like that happens to him. I didn’t want that, I still don’t want that. That’s why I broke everything off with him.”

“Oh, Harry –”

“I’m not finished yet,” Harry cuts off his sister’s attempt to comfort him. Now he has started he doesn’t want to stop until he told her everything. “Breaking everything off with him was a big mistake. I realize that and so does he. We’re both hurt, but I was still too scared to make things alright when I had the chance. Now he thinks I don’t care for him and he won’t let me in anymore.” 

Harry finally turns his head to look at Gemma. She almost gasps again at the sight of how broken his eyes look. He is broken at thought of that guy not wanting him back. That guy seems to mean a lot to him. She never realized he was into guys, either so it kind of shocks her how much he seems to mean to him. But she wants to help him, although she doesn’t really know how. 

“Now I don’t know what to do anymore.”


	45. Give Me Love

Harry’s feet are scraping in the dirty mud underneath the swing at the park, his white converse not being so white anymore. The spring break is coming to an end and the weather has finally started to get a bit warmer. He isn’t sure if he is glad to go back to Westminster or not. 

Going back means finally getting away from his mother. He knows that she has tried to get along with him, but it just won’t work anymore. They have gotten in multiple fights and it is so tiring to constantly fight with her. It is not like he doesn’t want to get along with her. But she doesn’t seem to try. 

On the other hand, going back also means going through hell again. Means knowing that Louis is there, but that he can’t do anything. He can’t talk to him or all the other things they used to do. Just awkwardness. 

Why isn’t there something in between? 

“Harry?” Harry looks up from his feet when he hears his name being called. His eyes meet the caramel ones of a young girl with wavy blond locks. His eyes grow wide as he sees her. Honestly, she is the last person he wants to see right now – Elena. 

A small smile appears on her face as she realizes it is actually Harry sitting on the swing at the park near his old high school – the one she is still attending. “Wow,” she says, her voice sounding soft and gentle. Not like the last time they spoke. “It’s like it’s been so long since I last saw you.” 

Harry tries to force a smile on his face as well, but he is almost sure that she can see how fake it is. “Only a few months,” he replies. He doesn’t know where to look. His eyes flash across her face for a second, but then he looks away again. She hasn’t changed all that much, still just as pretty. 

“Long enough,” she says as she takes a seat on the other swing. Harry wishes she wouldn’t do that. He wants her to leave him alone, but he can’t say that to her. He doesn’t know if he can say anything to her. “It feels like years.”

He doesn’t understand why she is being so nice to him. Last time she wasn’t so nice. Did she forgive him in his months of absence? Then she would be the only one. But he doesn’t see her doing that so quickly, to be honest. She is a girl that sticks to her opinion. 

“So,” she says after a silence, clearly not sure what to say. He doesn’t want her to say anything, he wants her to go away. “What brings you here? I thought you were going to school in London now? That boarding school?”

Yeah, and you probably love it that I’m out there and not here, Harry replies in his mind. He doesn’t say it out loud, though. “I am,” he answers instead. “Just home for the spring break.”

Elena nods her head like she understands what he is talking about, but she probably doesn’t understand anything. She doesn’t know what is going on in Harry’s life anymore and he doesn’t quite care to let her in again, either. 

“Did you miss it?” she asks quietly, not sure if this is the right question to ask. “Here?” Probably not, she thinks. It must have been a hell after everything that happened. But maybe London is a hell as well, worse than here. 

Harry looks at her like she has gone crazy. How can she ask if he missed a place where all the people he loves has turned their back on him? There is not much to miss. He misses how it used to be, before everything changes. But not this. Not how it is right now. “Honestly,” he says. “Not at all.” 

She sighs. She expected this. But she doesn’t quite understand. “Then why are you here?” she asks. If he doesn’t miss it then maybe it is better to stay at school?

That is the big question. He isn’t even quite sure himself. “I tend to run away from the bad things that happen to me,” he says. “If something goes wrong I’m gone. I don’t want to deal with. Or better, I’m too scared to deal with it.”

Even though he probably won’t answer she still asks the question. “What went wrong then to come back?” 

Harry looks at her again. Why is she asking all those question? This is none of her business. _She_ is the one that walked out of _his_ life, not the other way around. She didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. “Nothing you should care for,” he says. “Why are you even doing this? Talking to me and being nice? You were angry with me, you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Now you’re acting like nothing happened.”

Her eyes show hurt as he speaks the words, but he can’t find himself to care. It is the truth and the truth hurts. Harry has experienced that enough to know all about it. It is pretty fucked up, he knows.

“I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t love you anymore, Harry,” she says. “You know that. I broke up with you because I felt like I couldn’t trust you anymore. You were lying to everyone. You have never even admitted that you did it, even though everyone knows it is true.” 

They still don’t believe him. He hates it. Why wouldn’t they believe him? “I’ve never lied about it,” he says almost too soft for her to hear. But she does. And she can’t believe that he is still holding onto that. Everyone knows the truth yet he is here still telling lies. 

“You’re unbelievable,” she says. “This is exactly why I broke up with you. I shouldn’t have even tried to be nice to you. I thought that boarding school might have changed you, but clearly not. You’re still the same arse.” Then she gets up from the swing and walks away from him. 

It is true, though. That boarding school does have changed him. More than he liked to have changed, to be honest. But you can’t change the truth and the truth is that he never has stolen the money. 

But he doesn’t mind that she walks away from him. He has said his goodbye long ago. He doesn’t want to get together again with her, either. He has his problems with Louis now and Louis means a lot more to him than Elena has ever meant, how cruel that may sound. 

It is not like he never liked her, because he really did. She is a wonderful girl, but she has to like you, otherwise she will act like a bitch to you. He may even have loved her, but has never told her that. 

But Louis does something entirely different to him. If Elena’s touch makes him happy, then Louis’ drives him insane, making him feel like he is heaven. It is like Elena is the soft drugs and Louis is the hard drugs. So much easier to get addicted to. 

But they both walked away from him. But he won’t do an effort to get Elena back. To be honest, he never even has done an effort to get her back. But he is going to do an effort to get back to Louis. That is the big difference between the two of them. Louis is that little bit more special. 

And he really needs to get him back. 

“Louis!” 

Louis jumps up in his seat when Eve’s voice breaks through his thoughts. He turns his head to look into her blue orbs. They are a bit worried and full of questions. “You’re so out of it, Louis,” she says. “Not only today, but ever since what has happened between you and Harry.” 

Louis opens his mouth to protest, but Eve cuts him off before he can even say anything. “Don’t deny it. I know you’re all sad because of Harry. So I don’t understand why you won’t let him explain it to you. What wrong could you do with listening to him?” 

Louis rolls his eyes and looks away from her. “I really don’t want to talk about that, Eve,” he says. Harry occupies his mind already enough, especially after his phone calls. It is with pain in his heart that he tells Harry to stay away from him. But he has a slight feeling that Harry hasn’t given up yet and he doesn’t know if he should be happy about that or not. 

“You never want to talk about it,” Eve says, not looking really happy with Louis’ attitude. “But I can see it’s dragging you down. Your mind is always elsewhere, you barely sleep, you barely eat. It’s like you’re the living dead.” 

Louis rolls his eyes again, but Eve is not having any of it. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, Tomlinson,” she says, pointing a finger in his direction. “I’m starting to get enough of you. You’re no fun anymore. I can understand that it’s not too pleasant what Harry did and it hurts. But he is trying to make an effort to make things alright and you don’t want that, either! You’ve got to make up your mind, get over him or listen to what he’s got to say!”

Louis doesn’t reply. He knows she is right, but making that decision isn’t quite easy. It sure does hurt what Harry did, more than he wants it to hurt. He wishes it is easier to try and forget about Harry. But to be honest, he thinks it is quite impossible. It is weird how Harry can make him feel. There is this warm bubbling sensation in the pit of his stomach when the younger boy is near him, but from the moment Harry decided to call it quits it started to feel ice cold, like it is frozen, like he can’t breathe. 

“Louis?” Eve says, making him look up at her. “You know I’ll support you with whatever decision you make. But you can’t go on like this. You can’t keep wallowing in your misery, you have to do _something_.”

“I know,” he mutters. “I just don’t know what. Harry has put me in really difficult position.”

Eve grabs his hand and squeezes it. “That’s why I’m here. To help you out. But you have to listen to me, then,” she says and Louis slowly nods his head. “You have to listen to Harry. Just listen to what he has got to say and then do what you think is best. Follow your heart.” And she is already quite sure where his heart will lead him. He just has to find out himself. 

Follow his heart? That sounds easier than it probably is. He is not the sort of guy who lets people easily in and he has never followed his heart before. He more listens to his gut instinct instead. Although his gut instinct has gotten him in trouble on more than one occasion. 

He thinks his heart would lead him to Harry anyway, but he is not sure if that is the right decision. But maybe Eve is right, maybe he should listen to what Harry has got to say first. Then maybe it will feel right to follow his heart or his heart will have changed directions. 

“It’ll be fine,” Eve says, patting his knee as she gets up from the bench outside the school building. “Let’s go get food. I’m starving.” Louis chuckles and gets up to follow her. Even after the most serious and saddening conversation, Eve can still make him smile. With the dumbest things she says, even. 

On their way to the canteen, Louis and Eve cross paths with Kenneth Duncan. Kenneth throws him a dirty glare, but doesn’t say anything nasty. He hasn’t really said anything at all since his encounter with Harry’s friend, Zayn right before the spring break. Louis doesn’t know what he has said to Harry then, he doesn’t think anyone actually knows, it has kept Kenneth away from him ever since. What Louis does know is that it wasn’t the first time he tortured Harry about something. 

And to be honest, he has a slight feeling he knows what is about.


	46. You Can't Just Let Me Go

King’s Cross Station is very crowded on the last day of the spring break. Too crowded for Harry’s liking. All those people going into a different direction and walking for his feet. He can’t help it, it annoys him. 

“You’ll be fine from here, yeah?” Gemma asks as her and Harry finally managed to exit the large building. She looks at her brother from aside and gives him a half smile. Harry merely nods his head. The only thing he has to do is taking to bus towards the school and that is not really hard. 

“Sure.”

The siblings wave their goodbyes, both heading in a different direction. Harry heads for the nearest bus station while he doesn’t even know why Gemma is in London. Harry is not a big fan of busses, but it is better than his mother driving him back to school. He can’t bear to sit with her in a car for three hours. 

A half an hour sitting on the bus is long for Harry and he soon becomes bored. He watches the people that enter the bus, but they are not anything special. He wonders what he would do if Louis would suddenly get on the bus while he is on it. 

He shakes his head. Since the phone calls with Louis, the older boys has been constantly on his mind. Every little thing leads back to him. It is starting to drive Harry insane. He is going to try to get Louis back, but he doesn’t know what he is going to do when it doesn’t work. Moving on seems easier than it is, that much he knows. 

Harry’s heart starts to beat faster when the school building is slowly appearing in his vision. Suddenly he isn’t too sure if he is glad to be back. What is he supposed to say to Louis? Explain, right. But what if he says the wrong thing and Louis runs away? What if the explanation isn’t enough for Louis? 

When the bus comes to a halt in front of his school, Harry drags his suitcases of the vehicle and starts to make his way towards to front doors. He remembers entering them the first time. So much has changed now. He feels so differently, although he doesn’t want to enter the doors like the first time.

Liam isn’t there yet as he enters his room. The bed is still neatly made up, his belongings still gone. Harry places his suitcase at the end of his bed, like it had the first night he slept in this room. He doesn’t unpack it, either. 

Instead he goes downstairs. It is around lunchtime and if Niall is already back, then he surely is sitting in the canteen. Looking through the window on his way to the canteen, the boy he is dreading to see catches his intension. His feet are like his fingers when he called him, not listening to his brain. 

It is like this weird attraction pulls him towards the older boy. Harry has his eyes only on him when he walks outside through the back doors. He doesn’t care that there are other people next to Louis. 

Louis only looks up when Harry is only a few inches away from him. He doesn’t know how to react. But he doesn’t have much time, either because in a matter of seconds Harry’s lips are pressed against his. 

Harry’s grip isn’t tight at all and Louis could easily push him away, but he doesn’t. He is frozen as he feels the lips on his that he has been missing for so long. The wet, warm feeling is so comforting, feels too much like home. 

They are both too lost in to hear the gasp from Louis’ right. 

But when Louis’ mind starts to work again, he does push Harry away. The younger boy’s eyes land on the two people on each side of Louis. On his left is Eve sitting with a big grin on her face. She gives him an encouraging nod. On his right is Mona sitting, her mouth wide open and clearly shocked. 

“Sorry,” Harry mumbles. He runs a trembling hand through his curls as he looks away from Louis for a second. Louis doesn’t mind the lack of attention for a bit. He can’t really process what happened right now. Harry just kissed him out of nowhere in the middle of school grounds, for everyone to see. He was the guy that wanted it to keep it secret, right? 

“What did just happen?” 

Harry’s cheek heat up a bit. He didn’t plan to just go over to Louis and kiss him for everyone to see. Although he doesn’t think a lot of people actually pay attention to them. “I lost control for a second,” he says almost too quiet for Louis to hear.

“Maybe we should this somewhere else –”

“No,” Harry immediately cuts Louis off, surprising the older boy. “I don’t care what they think. I just want you to know why I left you. And that it was a big mistake. It’s not easy, you know being someone you know that people won’t approve of. 

“I told you about what happened at my old school, when everyone shut me out. It’s no fun, I can tell you. I was scared that it was going to happen again and this time it would be my fault. I don’t want to go through all of that again, but more important I didn’t want you to have to go through that. It’s horrible. 

“Remember when you found me on the floor? Yeah, I just had beaten the crap out of me by Duncan, just because I like you. I still don’t understand how the fuck he knows, but that pushed me over the edge. I didn’t want to go through that again and I definitely didn’t want you to go through that.”

Harry takes a deep breath when he has finished his rant. Then he puts a hand over his mouth. He can’t believe he just all said this in front of other people, too and not just for Louis. What are they going to think now? Although Eve knows about them, he still is a bit scared of her reaction, but more of Mona’s reaction. 

But he is terrified for Louis’ reaction. 

Louis doesn’t say anything after Harry’s done speaking. He just stares a bit at Harry, making Harry shift uncomfortably. Is he judging him? What is he doing? And when is going to say something? 

When Louis’ eyes move for a third time from Harry’s face to something behind Harry, he decides to turn around and see what is distracting Louis from say anything. He puts his hand over his mouth again as he sees it. There are Niall, Liam and Zayn standing and staring at him like he is some sort of alien. 

Maybe they should have gone somewhere else. 

Like Louis is reading his mind he says: “We’ll finish somewhere private.” Louis grabs Harry’s wrist and Harry mindlessly follows him. He can see Niall grinning at him and the other two looking at him open mouthed. But isn’t quite processing it. 

When his mind starts to work properly again, he finds himself in Louis’ room with the older boy in front of him. “I’m sorry,” Harry mumbles. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that there.” But Louis only shakes his head. His way closer than Harry first thought. 

Their mouths soon meet each other again in a sloppy kiss. It is far from perfect with too much lip biting and teeth clenching, but neither of them cares. They have had to miss each other for too long to actually care about it. 

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” Louis breathes out in between kisses. Harry’s mind needs to take a while to process the question and form an answer. Louis’ lips are pretty distracting. 

“Same reason,” Harry says, pulling away for a while to catch his breath. But Louis isn’t having any of it, attacking Harry’s neck. He hums for Harry to go on, which isn’t really easy for the younger boy. “Same reason as why I broke it off in the first place.

“Remember the canteen?” Louis hums again, making a moan escape Harry’s mouth. He loses track of his words for a moment and he whines a little bit as Louis takes his mouth away from his now bruised skin. 

“What about it?”

“I wanted to tell you then,” Harry says, looking into Louis’ beautiful blue eyes. They are shade darker then they usually are, but they are still twinkling beautifully. “I said ‘not here’ because I wanted to talk to you in private, not because I didn’t want to talk to you at all.” 

“It didn’t stop you now.”

Harry smirks at the older boy. Louis obviously doesn’t mind that it didn’t stop Harry today. He doesn’t mind that other people know. They think he is freak anyway. “I know,” he says. “Things change, you know.”

But half of the words are swallowed as Louis pushes his mouth against Harry’s again. 

Outside the school building, the silence is tense. Three of the five people have still their mouths hanging open while the other two are pretty much grinning at each other. They know what is going on and they pretty much approve of it. 

“Well,” Zayn says after a while, daring to break the silence. “I didn’t see that one coming.” He knew they were friends, but that they are more than that? Nope, he definitely didn’t see that one coming. 

“Me neither,” Mona says, still not over her shock. 

“They had to eventually,” Eve says, making all heads turn her way. “They couldn’t go on forever like that, it was both of them dragging them down.” She has seen it and she hasn’t liked it. They are both her friends and they were both so sad that it made her almost just as sad. 

“You knew?!” Mona almost yells. “You knew and you didn’t tell us anything? Why didn’t you tell us anything?” Eve could have told, maybe they could have helped. 

“They didn’t want me to tell anything,” Eve says, shrugging her shoulders. It is their relationship, she doesn’t want to disturb anything. And she does understand why they didn’t want to come out in the first place. She would have been a little scared as well. 

“I knew, too,” Niall speaks up. Now all the attention is on him. “I begged Harry so many times to tell at least one person – you know how hard it is for me to keep secrets – but he wouldn’t have any of it. He was determined, he didn’t want anyone to know.”

“But how did you know then?” Zayn asks. It is a little bit hurtful that Harry would tell his secrets to Niall, but not to Zayn or Liam. “Why would he tell you and not us?” 

“Oh, he didn’t tell me,” Niall replies, grinning as he senses Zayn’s jealousy. “I caught them snogging. They forgot I was in the room as well.” His cheeks still head up at the awkward memory when he caught them kissing in the hotel room. 

“How did you know?” Mona asks Eve. “Did they tell you?” Mona is pretty sure that she is just as good a friend of Louis’ as Eve is, so she doesn’t understand why Louis would tell Eve and not her. 

“Not really,” Eve answers. “I just made me assumptions and they eventually confirmed. But it was kind of obvious, wasn’t it?” It was, but Eve is just way better at noticing those things then the other four. 

“What about you, Liam?” Zayn asks, turning his attention to the quiet boy. Liam hasn’t said anything since Harry’s confession. Usually he has his opinion ready, but no he keeps quiet. “Did you know?”

“I guess I did,” he says, not really looking at anyone. “I heard Duncan threatening Toml- Louis. I had seen them closer than friends should be. I’ve asked Harry about it when he came in the room crying, but he was very vague about it. He didn’t want to tell me anything.” 

Zayn nods his head. “Anyway. It happened.”


	47. Hold On Tight

Harry wakes up when he feels someone planting their elbow in his face. He lets out a groan as pain shots through his nose and pushes the elbow away. He grabs his nose, feeling the blood starting to gush out. 

The limb body next to him doesn’t wake up at all and he rolls his eyes at the sleeping figure. Louis is such a deep sleeper that a bomb wouldn’t wake him up. What does wake him up is Harry trying to crawl over him. 

“The fuck are you doing?” Louis asks, his voice hoarse and thick from sleep. It sounds pretty sexy to Harry. But that is not what he is supposed to think about at the moment, he is on the search for tissues. He doesn’t want to stain anything with his blood. 

“You’re a fucking violent sleeper, mate,” Harry says, while he pulls open some drawers but doesn’t find anything. “You elbowed me.” It is not even that funny, but Louis laughs anyway. It is then that he first notices Harry’s bloody hand covering his nose. He is not doing a really good job, since the blood has starting running over his mouth, down his chin, in his neck and over his chest. “Why do you have no tissues?” 

Louis chuckles lightly. He finds this way funnier than it actually is. “Hang on,” he says, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he looks at Harry. He crawls out of bed as well and starts throwing things around until he finds a towel and hands it to Harry. 

Harry grabs it and looks at it like it is the most stupid thing he has ever seen. Then he looks up at Louis like he is an idiot. “I can’t actually put that in my nose,” he says like it is the most obvious thing. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Just put it over your nose,” he says, the corners of his mouth curling up already. “I don’t want you to stain my bed.” Harry shakes his head at the _obvious_ concern of Louis. “Come on, let’s get back to sleep. It’s like three in the morning.” 

Harry crawls in next to Louis. His nose hasn’t stopped bleeding yet and the towel is pretty annoying but he tries to snuggle as close as possible to Louis. Louis chuckles again as he puts a warm arm around Harry’s waist and puts his face in Harry’s neck. Harry shivers at the feel of Louis’ breath. 

“What were you dreaming about anyway,” Harry asks after a short silence. He knows Louis was almost asleep again, but he was far from it. Like before, the towel is still pretty annoying. He doesn’t think his nose has stopped bleeding yet and it hurts more than it did first. 

“I don’t quite remember,” Louis replies with a sigh that tells Harry that isn’t doing much of an effort to stay awake. “Probably about punching Duncan.”

Harry’s stomach twists in an uncomfortable way at the mention of Duncan’s name. Although he guesses Louis’ dream was about punching him, Harry rather has that Louis doesn’t dream about Duncan at all. He would like it the most if they just forget about him altogether. 

“Let’s not talk about that,” Harry says. He takes the towel away from his nose to find out that it has stopped bleeding. He throws it somewhere across the room – Louis doesn’t care anyway – and snuggles a little bit closer to Louis, careful so he wouldn’t hurt his nose more. 

Louis hums. He is probably half asleep already, Harry thinks. He is kind of happy that Duncan doesn’t seem to have much effect on Louis. He is glad that Louis doesn’t worry too much because that is how he is supposed to be, how Harry wants him to be. Carefree. It is always how Louis has been as long as Harry knows him and it is way Harry fell in love with him in the first place. With his crazy, carefree personality. 

He can’t believe how lucky he has been with the way everything worked out. The thought of Louis never wanting to see or talk to him every again has been life draining. But now everything is fine again it feels hundred times better than before everything happened. Just the thought that they end up together in the end anyway plasters a huge smile on his face. 

It is weird to think that he would end up with a guy like Louis. It is actually weird to think he would end up with a guy. If someone would have told him that when he first arrived at Westminster he would have laughed right in their face and he wouldn’t even have regretted it. Now he would secretively smile. 

He doesn’t think he is gay, though nor does he think he is bisexual. He doesn’t think he could fall in love with any other guy than Louis. He is not even sure if he could fall in love with any other _person_

“You weren’t in class today,” Liam says as he walks into his shared bedroom with Harry. Harry is lying on his bed, reading the book he has to read for his English course. Liam raises his eyebrows as Harry puts his book down a bit to look over the rand.

“I wasn’t,” Harry says dryly. He doesn’t really feel like getting a lecture from Liam as to why he should be in class and how important it is to be there and how he can’t skip classes because he won’t graduate and never get a real job and fail at his life. 

“Why not?” 

“Because I didn’t feel like it,” Harry replies simply. He doesn’t mention Louis because he is sure that Liam will point out to him what a bad influence Louis actually is. He isn’t, though. Harry has agreed to Louis on his own accord. Louis didn’t push him into anything. 

“You can’t go to class just because you don’t feel like it,” Liam says, but it surprises Harry a bit that he actually has a small smile on his face as he sits down on his bed and looks over at Harry. “It was Louis, wasn’t it?”

Even though Harry doesn’t say anything he is pretty sure that Liam knows that it was indeed Louis. Liam softly shakes his head, but he still smiles and Harry kind of likes this Liam. He likes that he is amused by Harry’s dumb action and doesn’t lecture him about it. 

“So you and Louis,” Liam starts and Harry sighs while he throws Liam a look. “How long has this been going now?” Harry pulls a thinking face. To be honest, he isn’t quite sure. They have been messing around with each other before they admitted their feelings, so when has it started? How long has this been going on? 

“I don’t really know, to be honest,” Harry says and then adds with a smirk: “But I think you don’t want to hear all about what happened between me and Louis.” 

He gets the reaction he expected to get from Liam. His ears turn bright red and he looks away from the curly haired boy. “No, I guess not,” he mutters. 

“But to answer your question, a while now,” Harry says, thinking back to the time he felt those physical attractions towards Louis. “Around Christmas, I suppose. Until a little bit before the spring break.” He smiles. “And now…”

Liam smiles as well. He can’t help it. He can see how Harry’s eyes light up at the thought of the older boy. He hopes they won’t screw up again. He hopes he doesn’t ever have to see that sad Harry again. 

“I just don’t want to see that again, understood?” Liam says and Harry is a bit amused with how he phrases his concern. “I don’t want to see you getting hurt by him. I know he’s no angel. I will personally tell him when he does anything like that again.” 

Harry can’t help but laugh loudly at what Liam just said. Liam raises a bit of a hurt eyebrow at him. “You’re like a puppy,” Harry says, still laughing at Liam. “You won’t scare him.”

“I did boxing, I know how to punch,” Liam says semi proud and Harry laughs again. 

“Okay,” Harry says, patting Liam a bit mockingly on the shoulder. “But I do appreciate your concern, thanks. But I won’t get hurt, I promise.” Hopefully it will be as easy as speaking those words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I'll post the last chapter! :( it's kind of sad. But! I've got an epgilogue, actually two, because I didn't know how I wanted to end it. And I've got a sequel (:


	48. It's No Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit, this is the last actual chapter. It feels so weird to finish this again.. Let me know what you think!

It is finally June and the weather is really nice, even for Britain. The sun is shining brightly when Harry wakes up to an empty bed. He is a bit confused, because he is in Louis’ room and Louis isn’t next to him like he usually is. Louis is mostly still asleep when Harry wakes up.

But as Harry sits up and takes the time to look around he notices that Louis isn’t even in the room. He gets even more confused. Where could Louis possibly have gone? It is like eight in the morning. He should be like a dead body next to Harry in bed.

Harry throws the blanket off of his naked body to put on his clothes and go in search for Louis. But Louis is quicker than that and before Harry can finish getting dressed, he re-enters the bedroom. Harry furrows his eyebrows. He doesn’t look his cheerful, usual self. Instead he looks a bit nervous and Harry doesn’t understand why.

“Oh, hey,” he says, forcing a smile on his face but Harry can see that it doesn’t reach his eyes. “You weren’t supposed to be up before I got back.” Harry notices that Louis is completely dressed and washed up and he should be awake for a while now, which is a bit stranger for him.

“You set your alarm,” Harry says, cocking an eyebrow at Louis. “I woke up because of your alarm.” Louis mumbles something like ‘yeah, right’ but he seems pretty distracted. Harry furrows his eyebrows in confusion. What is going on with Louis?

“Okay,” Harry says a bit hesitant as he finishes dressing. Louis takes a seat on the other bed and puts his head in his hands, making a mess of his hair. It seems like he is really nervous about something and Harry has never seen him like that before. He is a bit worried. Louis is usually happy and cheery or he at least shows what is going on. 

So Harry takes a seat next to Louis, putting his arm around the older boy. He puts his head on Louis’ shoulder in a way he hopes is at least a little bit comforting. “Okay,” Harry says. “What’s going on?”

Louis chuckles, kind of mocking himself. “It’s so stupid,” he says. “I graduate today, I don’t even know why I’m nervous about that. I should be happy to get out of this place.” 

Harry’s heart tightens at Louis’ words. Today is his graduation. He is happy and all for Louis. He knows that Louis has been dreaming to get out of Westminster for a long time now and today is finally the day. 

But this also means that Louis is going to leave. And Harry has to wait two more years to graduate. Which means he is barely going to see Louis in the next two years, because he is stuck in a fucking boarding school that barely allows him to go home. 

To say that he has been dreading this moment is an understatement. He has tried to avoid it so badly that he even forgot about it and know it hits him in the face like a ton of bricks. And it hurts.

Louis turns to Harry while the younger lad’s hand is frozen on his back, staring right in front of him and processing Louis’ words. He doesn’t want him to leave. Who is going to make him laugh, who is going to make this life at Westminster bearable? 

Louis grabs Harry’s other hand and intertwine their fingers together. “It’s going to be okay,” he says, reading the fear off the younger boy’s face. “Two years are going to fly by and you will barely notice that I’m not here. And then we’ll have all the time we need.”

That is going to be a lot of time, Harry thinks. If they are going to have to make up for two lost years, then that will cost a lot of time. Not that he minds spending a lot of time with Louis. It is the time apart that worries him. 

“It’s not going to be that easy,” he says, looking up into the beautiful sparkling blue eyes. They are trying to reassure Harry that everything is going to be fine, but he knows that Louis is just as unsure as he is. “At least, it’s not going to be that easy for me.”

Louis just smiles. “You’re going to be fine.”

Harry smiles as well, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. After that everything finally seemed to fall into its place then this happens. He kind of wishes Louis is a bit stupid and he has to stay down a year. He quickly shakes that thought out of his mind as he realizes how selfish that sounds. He knows that Louis wants to get out of here really badly and he finally can. Harry should be happy for him. 

“Come on,” Louis says, clapping Harry on his back. “Let’s go get breakfast and get this over with.”

They sit opposite each other in the canteen while they eat their breakfast and the silence is a bit tense. They both steal glances from time to time, but not seeing each other’s gaze. Harry finds it hard to swallow his bites and to keep his food down. He really feels like throwing it all up again. 

Before their breakfast is even finished, Louis is whisked away from him. All sixth graders are called to the Study Hall for a small practice. The remaining students are also ushered out of the canteen, because that is where the sixth formers will change. 

As Harry walks through the corridor back to his room, he sees that a lot of family of the sixth graders has gathered in the Great Hall. As he walks by he looks at all the unfamiliar faces and wonders which one of the women is Louis’ mother. Is Louis going to introduce him to his mother? He hopes not. He isn’t quite ready for that? He should tell his own mother first before he goes meeting other mothers.

“Looking for your mother-in-law?” Harry hears the thick Irish accent in his ear followed by a typical Niall chuckle. Harry turns his head to look at the blond lad with what he hopes is a threatening glare. Niall only laughs more. 

“I’m not looking for anyone,” Harry mumbles in response. It is a bit of a lie. He was looking around, trying to figure out which one of the women could possibly be Louis’ mother. If there is anyone who looks a bit like him. But he hasn’t found anyone yet. 

“Are you going to the ceremony?” Zayn asks, following Niall who is pulling Harry out of the Great Hall. Harry hasn’t quite thought about that yet. Is he allowed to be there? If Louis wouldn’t mind him being there then he might think about going. 

He shrugs his shoulders in response. “I might,” he says. He isn’t entirely sure, though. Even if Louis wants him there. He still doesn’t quite like the thought of Louis graduating, as selfish as it may be. He is happy for him, though. He would prefer it to graduate in the same year, though. 

“We could all be there and support him!” Niall says a bit too enthusiastically. Harry makes a choking sound, but Niall decides to ignore it. “Wouldn’t it be cool? And we could support his friends, you know, Eve and Mona as well!”

Zayn shakes his head at the Irishman. “I think we shouldn’t do that,” he says with a half smile, dragging Niall’s arm off of Harry’s neck where he is almost strangling him. Niall’s bright and enthusiastic face turns into a pout. 

“Why not?”

Zayn shakes his head at Niall. “I don’t think that Louis wants a couple of fourth graders but Harry at his graduation.” And Harry is glad that Zayn says that. He isn’t entirely sure what Louis would say about it and he isn’t even entirely sure if he wants it. He isn’t even sure if Louis wants _him_ at his graduation.

Harry doesn’t see Louis anymore before the ceremony starts. He decides to go, though. He sneaks into the Study Hall, where the ceremony is held, last minute. Some students are rewarded for having the best grades for a certain course. Louis is one of them. He has the best grades for maths and Harry’s mouth falls slightly open. He knows that Louis is smart, but not that he is _that_ smart. 

When Louis’ name is called when they announce who has best grades for maths, a small group in the crowd cheers for him. Harry smiles at them and guesses that they are Louis’ family. Despite what Louis has said about them, they seem pretty supportive. Harry only hopes that his family will react the same way at his graduation, even if he doesn’t get a reward. 

After the rewards they call all the names of the sixth graders in alphabetical order so they can finally receive their diploma. Eve is the first person Harry recognizes that is being called on the little stage and she smiles brightly, happiness sparkling in her eyes, when the headmaster hands her the light piece of paper. 

Louis’ name is called more towards the end of the ceremony. His signature smirk is present on his face when he accepts his diploma. The headmaster gives him a father like smile when he claps Louis on his back and says: “Stay out of trouble.” The crowd laughs, but Harry knows that it will be difficult for Louis. He smiles, though. 

Harry stays for the rest of the ceremony, but his eyes are focused on the other side of the stage now. He doesn’t pay any attention to the people who have yet to receive their diploma. After a while Louis finds his eyes and smiles at him. It is double, though. His smile says that he is glad he can finally leave but also that he is sorry for leaving Harry behind in this hell. 

Harry only shrugs, telling him it is okay. He will have to deal with it anyway. Louis is going to be let free in the great world while he is still stuck. He can’t do anything about it, he can’t change it. He will just have to deal with it. 

The ‘party’ moves from the Study Hall to the backyard for some drinks but no other grades but the sixth graders are allowed there. Harry runs back to his room after a quick ‘I’ll see you later’ for Louis. 

“How was the graduation?” Liam asks as Harry walks back into his room. Liam side of the room is completely empty, everything packed into the two suitcases at the end of his bed. Harry still has some work to do. Tomorrow morning everyone has to leave to school, the school year is over. 

“Awesome,” Harry says a bit dryly. He didn’t really enjoy it, to be honest. “Louis’s got best grades from maths.” Liam cocks an eyebrow in surprise and Harry chuckles. Liam didn’t really expect that, did he? 

“Did you meet his family?” Liam questions and Harry can see that Liam has been dying to ask that question and that it is actually the only thing that he wants to know. Harry has told him about his concern if he would have to meet Louis’ family. 

“No, but I did see them.” Liam’s only response is a soft smile. 

Later that evening Harry finds himself sitting in the backyard with Louis by his side. All the family of the sixth graders have gone home again, or wherever they stay. Some come from pretty far, like Louis’ own family who come from Doncaster.

They sit in silence for a while, staring at the starry sky. Louis is the first to break the silence. “You know I’ll see you soon, right?” he asks. He lets his finger travel down Harry’s thigh and he has to suppress a shiver. “Just a few days with our families and then I’ll call you.” 

Harry sighs and grabs a tight hold of Louis’ hand on his thigh with his own hand. Louis looks away from his fingers and into Harry’s emerald eyes. They aren’t looking really happy and Louis doesn’t want to see Harry sad. “It’s not the summer break that worries me,” Harry says. “It’s after that. I mean, you’re going to university, I’m still here. What if you meet a nice lad – ”

He is cut off when a pair of warm lips press against his own. They are gone just as quickly as they came. Harry tries to chase them and Louis chuckles. “You have to trust me,” he says, his tone turning serious. “There are no lads as nice as you. Nothing is going to change my mind about you.”

Harry smiles, even though it is only half-hearted. He does trust Louis. But Harry is average, not that special. University must be so much more interesting than him, a guy who is still in high school. It shouldn’t be too hard to forget him. 

“Come on, stop worrying,” Louis says with a smile, trying to sound cheery. “We’ve got a whole summer!” He grins at Harry, leaning closer to press their lips together in a sweet kiss. “I love you.”

He feels so stupid when the butterfly erupt in his stomach by those three words, but he grins back at Louis. “I love you, too.” Although the words are swallowed into another kiss, a bit rougher now. A bit more passionate. 

With a bit more love.


	49. Epilogue: Goodbye Hell – Version 1

June should be a great time of the year, but Harry’s never really been fond of it. Especially not this year. June is the time of the exams and this year they have been particularly hard. This exams are going to tell whether he passes his high school and if he can graduate or not. He definitely hopes he passed. He can’t bear to be another year in this school. 

Even though he is eager to get his diploma, graduate and get out of this shithole, he rolls out of bed with just as much of a struggle as always. It is the last day of June, it is way too hot for a country like Britain and he just wants this day to be over already. 

When Harry finally manages to get out of bed and put his boxers on, he sees that Liam is completely dressed, his suitcase completely packed and very ready to graduate. Liam is obviously excited. “Are you ready for today?” Liam asks with a wide smile, slightly bouncing on his feet. 

Harry only tiredly rolls his eyes without replying as he continues getting dressed. Liam isn’t excited to graduate to be out of here like Harry is. Liam is excited to graduate so he can go to university, which is only more school and more studying. Although he guesses it is better than attending this school. 

Harry and Liam have been sharing a room for the past three years – from fourth grade up until sixth grade. To be honest, Harry wouldn’t want another roommate in a thousand years. Zayn or Niall would be okay as well, but he still prefers Liam. 

Liam has become his best friend after the ending of fourth grade. Eve had always been a great person to go to with your problems, but after she was gone he had no one. Liam seemed like the best option at the time and he doesn’t regret his decision – at all. Since then he has grown really close to Liam.

Of course he is also still wasting his time with hanging out with Niall and Zayn. And Sienna, who is still Niall’s girlfriend. Sometimes it is a bit awkward, because over time, Liam and Phoebe have broken up, but Sienna and Phoebe are still best friends. They manage to be friendly towards each other, though – Liam and Phoebe. 

April, their other friend, has mysteriously disappeared after fourth grade and no one has heard from her ever since. Apparently she is at some other boarding school now. No one knows why she changed schools, though. 

Zayn has had some flings with a couple of girls, but has had nothing serious and is single at the moment. He isn’t really looking, either he just wants to have some fun. He said he would look for a proper girlfriend to settle down with after university when his real life will start. 

Harry has had nothing to do with love over the past two years. Some girls have showed their interest, but Harry never really responded. Liam has told him that he should maybe try to go out with a girl once, but Harry isn’t having any of it. He isn’t interested and he doesn’t feel up for it. So Liam eventually stopped talking about it. 

During breakfast all the sixth graders are called out of the canteen. They have to go the Study Hall – where the graduation ceremony is going to be held – for a small practice. It isn’t actually a practice, Harry discovers. It is just the headmaster explaining what is going to happen during the actual ceremony. All they have to do is go up on the little stage that is built in the front of the Study Hall when their name is called and then they get their diploma handed over by the headmaster. That is all. 

After the almost unnecessary little practice they have to go back to the canteen to get changed into their graduation gown. They look pretty stupid, but it is tradition and everyone wears them. At least he is not the only idiot walking around in a dress. 

On their over to the canteen, Harry notices that some of the family has already arrived and are waiting in the Great Hall. He looks around, spying for his own family but he doesn’t see anyone. It wouldn’t surprise him if they wouldn’t even come. 

His relationship with his mother hasn’t bettered over the past two years. She still doesn’t believe him with what happened now almost three years ago. They still fight a lot about the most stupid things and Harry still needs her just as much as he did three years ago. She just still doesn’t realize it and she still can’t get past it. 

He still doesn’t go home during the breaks, but he doesn’t stay at school, either. He has found his great escape, though. During every break he stays at Liam’s house now. Liam’s family is incredibly nice and they treat him like an actual family member. Liam’s home kind of feels like a second home. If you would have told him that when he was a fourth grader he would have laughed right in your face. Now a warm smile spreads on his face as he thinks about it.

“Are you ready for this, mate?” Liam asks, his hand smashing on Harry’s shoulder. They are both dressed in their graduation gown’s, the graduation ceremony starting within a few minutes. All sixth graders are packed into the canteen together to change into their toga’s and get ready for the ceremony. 

“I have been ready for this day since I first arrived here,” Harry says with a smile. “I’m glad it’s finally over.” Liam gives him a light chuckle before they are joined by Zayn and Niall, who are just as ready as Harry to get out of this place. 

“I’ve been waiting for this since the day I was born,” Niall says his face glowing with excitement. He has got a big grin on his face as he thinks about all the freedom he is going to have once this day is over. At the beginning of next semester he turns eighteen and then the party can finally start. 

“You didn’t know you were going to end up here when you were born, you twat,” Zayn says, but he still chuckles at Niall’s excitement. Harry smiles, thinking that they haven’t changed at all since he first met them, yet there is so much different. 

“Deep down I knew I was going to end up here, I just didn’t realize it yet,” Niall says, shaking his head like it is the most obvious thing in the world and how could Zayn be so stupid to not realize that. 

“You’re weird,” Zayn says, yet he chuckles fondly at the Irish lad.

His words are barely pronounced when Mrs Jameson calls all the sixth graders to go out into the Study Hall. The small audience that consists of family and friends of the sixth graders stand up and clap when the group enters. Harry rolls his eyes at how cliché this all is. 

The sixth graders all gather at one side of the stage to wait for their name to be called so they can go up the stage, shake hands with the headmaster and finally receive their diploma. Harry has been craving so long for this day. They can hurry up a bit. 

But first of course the headmaster has to announce who gets a reward. Harry isn’t surprised when his name isn’t called, but claps as loud as the others when Liam’s name is called for best grades for Latin and maths. Liam is pretty much a genius. 

And then they finally start to call the names of the pupils. Harry’s heart starts to beat a little faster and his palms start to sweat a little bit. He doesn’t like to admit, but he is getting a little bit nervous now. Imagine if they don’t call his name. If he doesn’t pass and doesn’t graduate. He will have stay down a year and stay another year in this place. He wouldn’t survive that. 

Niall is the last person with the letter H. He practically runs on stage when his name is called, a big grin on his face. He shakes the hand of the headmaster enthusiastically, waves at the audience and then storms off the stage and hugs the first person he comes across. Of course they don’t mind, it is Niall after all. 

Zayn is the next one who disappears from Harry’s side when his name is being called. Zayn is a lot more calmer than Niall. He has got a smile on his face that make all the girls swoon. He shakes the headmaster’s hand and receives his diploma with a relaxed look on his face and gives the audience a wink before he walks off the stage. He can pull it off, you know, just because he is Zayn Malik. 

When Liam’s name is called Harry knows he it is almost his turn. The P is only three letters away from the S and about ten people in between them. Liam walks on stage with a proud smile on his face that only grows when the headmaster says: “One of our best students.” as he shakes Liam’s hand and hands him his diploma. 

“Harry Styles.”

Harry’s heart jumps and he secretly thanks god that they didn’t skip him or anything. Finally the moment has arrived. This is his key to freedom. The key to a new and better life, going to university and doing what he wants to do. 

He runs on stage with a big grin on his face, pretty much like Niall’s. He almost rips the piece of paper out of the headmaster’s hand and squeezes it hard in his excitement. “Someone’s a bit eager,” the headmaster jokes and the audience laughs but Harry is already off the stage. 

He immediately tackles Liam in a hug – Liam is standing closest – and yells: “We made it!”

Later that evening the four boys find themselves sitting on a bench in the backyard of the school building. Every family member has left by now and the garden is empty aside from the four friends. The night has fallen already, but it is still pretty warm outside. 

“Are we supposed to be grown up now?” Niall asks, sipping on a bottle of cheap champagne they have stolen from one of the tables. 

“You are never ever going to grown up,” Zayn replies with a chuckle and steals Niall’s bottle as the Irish lad punches in the arm. It is kind of true though, Harry thinks. 

“University is meant to party, Niall” Harry says tilting his head so he is able to look at Niall. “No to grow up. You can grow up after university.” Niall holds his hand up with a cheer for Harry to high five it. The champagne probably got to his head already. 

“Not only party,” Liam says, being his sensible usual self. Although Harry has discovered that Liam really isn’t that sensible if he wants to. He has proven that he can go wild as well. “You also have to study. Or you’ll be in university forever.”

“It’s alright, Li,” Zayn says, patting Liam’s thigh. “We’ll study. But we don’t have to worry about that yet, we have got a whole summer to party!” Liam seems satisfied with that and Niall lets out another cheer, grinning at his friends. 

But Harry remains silent. Zayn’s words ‘we have got a whole summer to party’ reminds him of words that sound almost the same. More along the lines ‘we have got a whole summer to be together.’ Spoken on almost the exact same place. 

That is not what happened. Louis told him that they would spend a few days with their family and then he would call him. Louis never called him after a few days. He didn’t call him after a week, either. So after two weeks, Harry decided to call himself. Maybe something happened? Maybe he has got an explanation? 

But he didn’t pick up. He never answered any of Harry’s calls. He kept trying to get into contact with Louis for six months. Louis never responded to any of Harry’s attempts and he eventually he has given up. 

It has been two years since he last spoke Louis.


	50. Epilogue: Goodbye Hell – Version 2

“Are you ready for this, mate?” Liam asks, his hand smashing on Harry’s shoulder. They are both dressed in their graduation gown’s, the graduation ceremony starting within a few minutes. All sixth graders are pack into the canteen together to change into their toga’s and get ready for the ceremony. 

“I have been ready for this day since I first arrived here,” Harry says with a smile. “I’m glad it’s finally over.” Liam gives him a light chuckle before they are joined by Zayn and Niall, who are just as ready as Harry to get out of this place. 

A few minutes later they are ushered to the Study Hall and wait at the side of the stage they have built for the occasion for their names to be called, receive their diploma’s and run off the stage as quickly as possible. The Hall is packed with people, all family and friends that have been invited to see their young boy’s or girl’s graduate. 

Niall is the first one of the four friends to be called on the stage. He wears a huge grin on his face when he walks up the little steps and gets his diploma handed over by the headmaster. He thanks him and then quickly walks off on the other side of the stage, joining the other people who already received their diploma. 

Harry’s hands start to sweat a little. He wants that little piece of paper in his hands already so he can get out of here. But they just arrived at the letter I and his name starts with a S, so he will have to wait a good amount of time before he can run off the other side of the stage. He starts to tap his foot impatiently. 

When Liam’s name is called, he knows he is close. Three more letters and it is his turn. Ten more pupils to get their names called and it is over. His high school life will be over in a matter of minutes, he can stand freely wherever he wants, he doesn’t have to be trapped in this shit hole anymore. 

He is already on stage before the headmaster fully called out his name. “Harry –” The headmaster is interrupted by the door of the Study Hall opening. A boy around the age of twenty with feathery light brown hair and sparkling greenish blue eyes enters the room. The smirk that Harry remembers to be always on his face isn’t present, however he smiles apologetically at the headmaster. 

“Harry Styles,” the headmaster continues, not really paying attention to the intruder. But as soon as the name lefts his lips, the boy looks up at the stage and his eyes lock with Harry’s. Harry doesn’t really pay attention anymore when he grabs the light piece of paper in his hands and walk off the stage. He just keeps looking at the boy. 

To say he is surprised is an understatement. He hasn’t heard or seen Louis in two years and here he is, showing up at his graduation. He doesn’t know if he is happy to see Louis or not. Louis never bothered to reply to his attempts to get in contact with the older boy. He just disappeared out of his life. 

There hasn’t been a day that Harry hasn’t thought about him, but he didn’t expect to see him again. After about six months he had given up on Louis. He figured that the boy didn’t want to have anything to do with Harry. Since he has never spoken a word to him in those past two years. 

When the ceremony is done, the Study Hall gets cleared out. All the people move on to the backyard for a drink. Harry loses sight of Louis in the mass of people. He doesn’t know if he is relieved or not. He would like to have an explanation as to why Louis has just disappeared out of his life, but he wouldn’t exactly know what to say if he comes face to face with the older boy. 

But that happens sooner than he expected and he is completely unprepared when he finds Louis in the door opening of the library when he wanted to walk back to the canteen to get out of the gown. He stops in his tracks as his eye catches the older boy, a slight smile on his face. Louis mentions with his head for Harry to follow him into the library. Harry does so, taking of his gown in the process and throwing it somewhere he doesn’t care for. 

“Two years,” Harry says when Louis has come to a stop and faces the younger boy. “Two fucking years. I haven’t heard anything from you.” Louis’ small smile vanishes completely and he takes a seat on one of the wooden desks from the library. Harry does the same, taking a seat opposite from him. 

“I know,” Louis says quietly as if he is ashamed of what he did. He shifts uncomfortably. He should be ashamed of what he did. Not a word since his graduation. Nothing. Harry finds that this is definitely something to be ashamed of. 

“Why?” That is all that Harry really wants to know. Why did Louis suddenly stopped caring about him? So much that he didn’t bother to say goodbye or say anything to warn Harry that he would be gone for so long. 

“This is going to sound stupid and completely selfish,” Louis says, lifting his gaze to let his blue orbs meet with Harry’s emerald ones. “But I thought that it was for the best. For me and maybe a bit for you.”

Harry rolls his eyes. How could he be so stupid to think something like that? Ignoring someone who cares about you for two years isn’t for the best. Opposite to that, it is for the worst, actually. At least it is to Harry. “What exactly did you do then?” he asks. 

Louis takes a deep breath. “Well, what would you do? I finally graduated and I was free. I wanted to live before I went to university. I spend half of the summer break pissed out of my mind. I forgot about you. Well no, I wanted to forget about you. I thought it would be easier to turn my back on you so I wouldn’t have to miss you. I couldn’t bear the thought of you loving me, but not being able to be with me. I thought you might have thought that way, too.” 

He has looked down at his hands fumbling with the hem of his shirt the whole time, but now his lifts his eyes, looking into Harry’s green orbs. God, he has missed those beautiful eyes. He has missed those wild curls that haven’t seem to be changed a bit. Those beautiful pinks lips pressed against his own, those hands sneaking underneath his shirt, the sweet words whispered in his ears. He hasn’t realised how much he has missed this boy until now. 

“I didn’t, though,” Harry says. “I think it’s better to know you have something to look forward to. To know that there is someone out there for you. It wouldn’t matter that I couldn’t have seen you then, but I know that would someday. Doesn’t it feel good that there is someone waiting for you?”

Louis’ heart breaks at the sight of how broken Harry’s eyes look. He clearly tries to hide it away, but his eyes have always told the truth. He has never been able to hide them away and Louis has learned to read them with time. He didn’t forget how to read them. 

“You have cracked my trust, Louis,” Harry says softly, his voice breaking a bit. “It’s not easy for me to trust people so quickly anymore. You know what happened three years ago, it was already hard for me. You just shattered the last piece.” 

Louis lets his eyes travel down again. He can’t look the younger boy in the eyes anymore. He is well aware of what he has done to him. “I never meant to,” he mumbles quietly, but Harry can hear him. Then he looks up again. “I know I have been foolish. And I’m sorry.” 

Harry hops off the desk and walks towards where Louis is sitting. “You should,” he says. “You don’t know how horrible these past two years have been, not having you around to sneak me out or get me drunk.” A smirk plays around the younger boy’s lips and Louis chuckles lightly. 

“I loved you, Harry,” he whispers. A sad smile appears on Harry’s face at Louis’ words. That is what he has been fearing. But Louis doesn’t understand the sad smile. Did he say something wrong? Isn’t that what Harry wanted to hear? 

“That’s the key word, Louis,” Harry says, tears starting to form his eyes. “You _loved_ me. You don’t anymore. And the worst thing is that I still do. It’s been two years and I just can’t seem to get you out of my mind.”

Louis’ eyes sadden at Harry’s words. It is not true, though. He still loves Harry. But he is scared to tell him so. What if it turns out like the last time? Harry has graduated, but he is going to university. He will have a life apart from Louis’ and they won’t get to spend time together and they won’t see each other and they will just grow apart again. He doesn’t want that to happen. He wants to admit to Harry that he loves him when he is sure that he can be with Harry. 

“I guess this is goodbye then,” Harry says. He presses a light kiss on Louis’ lips, making old butterflies flatter in his stomach again and old memories rushing into his mind. A tear slips out of the corner of his eyes, but he turns around, hoping that Louis hasn’t seen it and walks out of the library. 

His heart breaks into a million pieces as he hears a muffled sniffle. He doesn’t want to leave Louis behind, but maybe it is for the better. Maybe it is good to try and forget him and just move on. Just finally move the fuck on with his miserable life. Go to university find a girlfriend and marry her. Just forget about Louis. 

“Harry!” 

Harry turns around at the sound of his name being called. Liam looks at him with his eyebrows knit together and Niall and Zayn hot on his heels. “Harry, where have you been?” Liam asks. “We lost you on the way to the canteen.” 

“Louis is here.” 

Liam’s eyes soften, nervously biting his lip. Zayn scratches uncomfortably the back of his neck and Niall shifts his weight, looking a bit awkward. “I know,” Niall finally says after a few moments of silence. “We’ve seen him.”

“I talked to him.” He has to do his very best to choke back his tears, but he doesn’t want to cry in front of his friends about an old love. He should have forgotten about Louis a long time ago. He shouldn’t feel this way anymore. 

Liam opens his mouth to reply, but his eyes catch something behind Harry, making the latter of the two turn around. He comes face to face with Louis again, who just comes out of the library. The older boy’s eyes a bit red and puffy. He quickly wipes his cheeks, giving Harry a watery smile before walking away. 

“What are you doing?” Liam suddenly says loudly, making Harry turn around to look at him with confused eyes. “You’re just letting him go? He loves you! He has been crying over you!”

Harry’s eyes widen in surprise. Does he? Does Louis really love him? He has been crying after all, because there isn’t another reason as to why his eyes would look that way. And Harry just kind of told him that he probably wouldn’t see him ever again. Would Louis be heartbroken about that? 

“What are you waiting for?” Zayn says, giving Harry a firm push in the direction of the Great Hall where Louis has disappeared to. Harry gives his friends a helpless look. He doesn’t know what to say. What is he even supposed to say? He just told him that this is goodbye. 

“Come on, Harry,” Niall says. “He’ll be gone. Just go kiss him or something! Go on.” Harry smiles at his friends and with a new found energy he runs towards to Great Hall, running through the open front doors and in the direction of the boy walking away from him. 

Louis turns around at the sound of gravel being pushed away by a pair of feet. He is surprised to see Harry running towards him. But he has no time to get over his surprised as two warm and very delicious lips press hard against his own. 

Harry launches himself into Louis’ arms, Louis warping them tightly around the younger boy. He doesn’t want to let go, but Harry told him that this is goodbye, so he knows he will have to. But he is taken by surprise once again when Harry speaks his next words. “I love you. I’m not letting you run away again. I love you.” 

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, i have to end this all over again. It feels kind of weird. I really liked writing this. And I really hoped you enjoyed reading it just as much. And thank you all so much for all the appreciation  
> The sequel: http://archiveofourown.org/works/807730

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested: http://www.mibba.com/Stories/Read/473413/Cover-Your-Eyes/
> 
> Please, tell me what you think about it!


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